disclaimer: I own neither Grissom nor Sara, but I own Ben and Melissa; P

AN: Thanks to inlya again! I wouldn't know what to do without you : )


prove yourself wrong

The house was cold and empty without her. He sat down on the couch, checking his answering machine for messages, there were some, but none of them was from Sara. He missed her like hell, all he wanted was to be with her, sitting around in his empty house all alone wasn't what he liked anymore. A few months ago this had been his vision of a perfect evening, but now, after all he and Sara had been through…after he had confessed his feelings to her and they had lived here together for a few months, he had totally changed. Months ago he wouldn't have believed someone who'd told him that one day he'd sit in his living room wanting nothing more than having her around him.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Mom I just don't know what to do about this.", she sounded desperate and that was just like she felt.

Laura softly squeezed her daughter's hand. "You know what your problem is…all you need is to change it."

"That's so much easier said than done."

"You should go an talk to a counselor…Melissa is a counselor…you should talk to her."

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why not? She's you sister in law…she'll help you."

"I didn't even come to her and Ben's wedding."

"It was a wonderful ceremony."

"Mom telling me how wonderful the ceremony was doesn't help me at all…"

"…sorry."

"…no…I'm sorry.", Sara sighed. "I just…I mean I…I miss Grissom and…this whole thing is driving me crazy…sorry."

"Why? Why is everything driving you crazy Sara?"

Sara suddenly felt tears running down her cheeks, she hadn't felt as if she needed to cry, but now when she did she wasn't able to stop anymore.

"Hey…don't cry."

"I am just so scared."

"Scared of what?"

"That…that…I mean I know it's ridiculous…but…I just can't get rid of the fear that Grissom could do the same like Dad did….he's not like Dad, he would never hurt me, but…this fear exists and it wouldn't go away…what ever I try…it's still there. I can't help it."

"I don't get what your problem is Sara…you say he wouldn't hurt you…why are you scared then? There is no need to be scared!"

"I know…I know that, but I can't help it…I always think that…that whatever I do or whatever happens to me is bad…and will find a bad end…I can't help it…I just don't believe that something good would happen to me…my whole life has been a nightmare so far…why should I finally wake up?"

"Sara…you need help."

"I know that…I know that.", she said softly.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

I could call her…I should call her…but what if she doesn't want to talk to me? What if she's angry if I call her because she told me she needs time alone…she would have called if she'd needed to talk to me…but I need to talk to her…I need to hear her voice…I need her so much and she's not hear…probably she needs me now…and she's just too afraid to call me…what if she's waiting for me to call?

He dialed her cell phone number…but then decided to not call her. She needs time alone.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

She knocked on the front door of her brother's house. Her heart was beating fast, she had never been here before, she had never met her brother's wife, she had never seen their two daughters…she had avoided meeting her whole family since she had left Tomales Bay to go to Harvard.

It had been a one hour drive to her brother's house and she had been thinking about what she'd say and how she's say it…she was nervous.

The door opened, a young woman smiled brightly at Sara.

"Hi…how can I help you?", she asked.

"Uhm….I…I wanted to talk to Ben…is he there?"

"Nope…he's at work….you want to leave him a message?"

"Actually…actually I didn't only come to visit him.", Sara forced a smile. "I'm Sara…Sara Sidle."

"You are Sara? Oh my God! He talks so much about you!", the woman hugged her impetuously.

Sara was a little overwhelmed by the friendliness the woman brought towards her. They had never met before…and Sara somehow felt awkward with just coming around, without even calling to say that she intended to visit. "I hope I don't disturb you…if I do I can…"

"…no! No! We are so happy to finally meet you! Come in…can I get you something? Sit down in the living room, feel at home…I'll bring you something to drink? Okay? Are you hungry? Just say if you want me to cook something or so.", the woman talked as fast as a waterfall. "Oh…I'm Melissa by the way…"

Sara smiled brightly at Melissa…she must be as nervous as I am.

"So…you want to drink something?"

"No thanks….I just came around to…okay maybe that's…idiotic…because we just know each other for about 2 minutes or so…but…well, my mother told me that you are a counselor…and…"

"…you need help?"

Sara nodded softly, feeling tears rising up in her yes.

Melissa walked over to Sara. "It's okay…we can talk…I will just tell the girls to not come into my office…you can wait there for me…the third door on the left…okay?"

"Thanks.", Sara said softly. I feel so stupid…I just come around here and…hell what will she think of me…she'll think I am a total idiot…

A few minutes later Melissa entered her office. It was a big room, with a couch and two armchairs, some flowers and pictures on the walls. Sara sat on the couch, Melissa took seat on the armchair in front of her.

"Okay…just to describe you how this is going…you don't have to tell me every little dirty secret…like you'd have to tell a psychologist…because I am no psychologist…I am a counselor, which means that I help peoples to deal with their problems…so I am not analyzing anything…most people don't sear for help because they don't want to be analyzed…I just help where I can help…so tell me what you think your problem is…and I'll do my very best to help you."

"My problem is that I fear that…I'm afraid to be in a relationship with the man I love…which is totally ridiculous…because…I love him, and I trust him…he's everything to me…but I…I am afraid to…"

"…okay I said I wouldn't analyze anything...but…sorry if I say this…I don't think that's the real problem."

Sara stared at Melissa.

"I think your problem is that you can't deal with your past…and that what has happened to you in the past has an major effect on your current life…you are afraid to be in a relationship because your father abused your family."

Sara sighed. "I don't know."

Melissa nodded. "I think so…the good news are that I know how I can help you."

"What are the bad news?"

"There are none."

"There are always bad new…everything good results into something bad one day."

"You should probably start with seeing things positive."

"I am not pessimistic."

"I never said this…but…you should definitely start to think positive."

"How should I be able to do this? After everything that happened?"

"Sara…tell me one thing…do you try to forget what happened or do you try to deal with it?"

"I know that I should try to deal with it…but actually I tried to forget it since the day it happened…it's not easy to change a habit."

"I know…we will have to work on that…listen Sara…the two of us don't know each other very well…but I know your history because Ben and I talked about what happened in your family…he wanted me to know about that before we got married…anyways…the fact is that…you don't have to feel uncomfortable…I mean…"

"…it's okay…I…I think after….after a while talking to counselors gets easier."

"You have been to one before?"

"Well…I have been at a counselor a year and a half ago because…well I was stopped by the police when I was driving under alcohol influence…and…I had to go to those sessions to keep my job…and I have been to a psychologist a few times after I had tried to…commit suicide."

"You tried to…"

"…please don't tell Ben about that!", she pleaded.

"It's okay…everything you'll say here is just going to stay between us…no one else will know about it."

Sara sighed. "Okay…I know that I need help."

"Okay, first you have to learn that not everything must be bad…you have to try to be happy…then you'll realize that not every good thing has it's bad side. Just try to accept the fact that you will be happy…try to…found a family…find love, get children, become a mother! Just accept that you can be happy…it might not sound simple to you…but actually, it is simple."

"I don't think that…"

"…sometimes we just need to prove ourselves wrong Sara…you are afraid that what happened to you in the past will catch you again and will happen again…prove yourself wrong and you'll start realizing that what happened in your past was horrible, but that there are really things that make you happy and that …are good."

"I don't see how this should help me…I mean…"

"…what do you think when you see a father and his daughter, together…somewhere…doesn't matter where?"

"I think….I think about my father and that he raped me…and I always think that the father of the little girl might do the same to her."

"And if you would have a daughter, you would see that not every father does this with his daughter…you would be proven wrong and you would start realizing that not everything is bad behind it's façade."

"I'm not ready to become a mother…I mean…"

"…then try it in small steps…begin with your relationship to…what was his name again?"

"Gil Grissom."

"Okay…you said you are afraid of a relationship with Gil…I think the reason for this is that you are afraid of getting hurt, physically…because your father hurt your mother."

"Maybe."

"Prove yourself wrong…that's the only way how you can get over it…or let's say…the easiest…otherwise you'd spend a lot of money for psychologist appointments."

Sara forced a grin. "I actually…don't think that this will work."

"You'll never know until you tried it…and…Ben would kill me if he'd know that I'm telling this to patient…but you're his sister, so…when Ben and I met…and we fell in love…he was panicking, I mean, he was afraid to be in a relationship…he was afraid he could hurt me…and…he proved himself wrong…he's a loving husband, he'd never hurt neither me nor our daughters."

Sara sighed. "Maybe you're right."

"Try it…if it doesn't work you can still try something else…"

Sara nodded. "…okay."

"Will you stay for dinner?"

"Uhm….I…I don't know…I don't want to…make any problems or so I mean…"

"..you will stay for dinner."

Sara grinned, this time there was no need to force it. Melissa was so friendly and warm to her, she totally accepted her as a member of their family and this gave Sara such a warm feeling inside of her that she felt better every single second.

When Ben came home and they had dinner together Sara finally realized that Melissa was right. Sometimes there could, maybe, be a happy ending.

After the dinner Ben and Sara went out on the veranda and sat down on the two chairs on it.

"So…you and Melissa talked?"

"Did she tell you this?"

"No…Amy…Amy said that 'Mommy' was talking to you in her office before I came."

Sara nodded softly. "Yeah…we talked."

"About what?"

"That's not your business."

"You're my little sister Sar…I want to be there for you."

"Ben, I'm okay…really…now I am okay…I finally realized that…that not everything has to be bad."

Ben laid his arm around his sister. Sara snuggled against him. "I'm so thankful that you and Melissa are there for me…I mean…"

"…it's okay Sar."

Suddenly Ben's cell phone rang. He answered the call. When he hang up he had tears in his eyes. Sara stared at him, she had tried to find out to whom he had been talking, but he hadn't said much more than 'yes' and 'okay'.

"Sar…this…this was the hospital…it's about Mom."


thanks to everybody who reviewed!

chap 10 will be up today/ tomorrow...I hope you enjoyed this chapter, if not please tell me what you didn't like...I love critcs, they help me getting better : )