"Yeah, what about desert?" one of the Moria orcs asked.

"There ain't any elves left!" said Ulgûk.

"My girlfriend is still there!" Aragorn exclaimed. "Let's eat her."

"How should we cook her?" Grishnahk asked the crowd.

"Flambé her!"

"Put 'er in a cake!"

"Make 'er into fondue!"

"Make a pie out of her!"

The last idea was accepted by all. A huge pie pan was brought out of the woods and the orcs began to make dough for the crust.

"Aragorn!" cried Arwen. "How can you do this to me? We are supposed to be married in a few days."

"Well," said Aragorn looking slightly uncomfortable. "I guess I'm just hungry."

"Hungry? You just ate all my kin."

"Yes, but they're so skinny and I had to share them with a lot of other people."

In a few minutes, the pie crust was complete. Arwen was dragged into the pie and smothered in a fruity pie filling that Grishnahk had concocted. Two cave trolls placed the crust over top of Arwen, muffling her screams, and lifted the pie up to place in the coals.

"Wait!" cried Aragorn. "Before you cook her, I call dibs on the first slice!"

The gigantic pie was put on the coals, and everyone chatted with each other while waiting for the pie to bake.

"Of course," Merry was saying to Ulgûk. "We have no hard feelings against you capturing us. After all it turned out for the best. And it was so nice of you to let us join your barbeque."

"It was a stroke of luck running into these elves." Uglûk said. "I must say this barbeque turned out to be quite a success."

After a while, the pie was done. Aragorn served it up and there was enough for everybody. Everyone agreed the pie was an excellent ending to the barbeque. Uglûk and Grishnahk organized some games afterwards, but hide-and-go-seek wasn't much of a success since orcs can see in the dark.

It was getting late and everyone was tired and full. Aragorn and his company, after thanking the orcs for their hospitality, headed home to Gondor. The Uruk-hai were going to head north to Mirkwood to look for the elves that lived there. Grishnahk was going to lead the remaining orcs to Rivendell and then the Grey Havens.

The next morning, everyone was gone. It was a dark chapter in the history of Middle-Earth for some, others found it hilarious. Smoke still drifted out of the barbeque pit. The grass nearby was splattered with barbeque sauce and a giant pie plate was still lying on the ground. The end of the elves had brought friendship between the orcs and men of Middle-Earth. Yet those in Valinor still waited for their kin to come. The only tidings they had of what had befallen were a cloud of smoke rising in the distance and the smell of barbeque sauce drifting across the water.

A/N- ok it's the end. Sad, tragic and hilarious. I think the details got a little gruesome in some parts but o well. R and R.