Why Merry Is Not A CD Case
Princess Kathryn pranced around the castle, hurrying along the corridor looking for her imported playmate.
"Oooh Merry! Meriadoc Brandybuck! Come out come out wherever you are!" she cooed, sticking her head into the servants chamber, startling them, "have anyone of you seen Meriadoc Brandybuck from the Shire?"
The servants all shooks their heads, but Princess Kathryn caught a fleeting look of guilt flit across the face of a stable hand named Jeff.
"Jeff, have you seen Merry?" Kathryn asked accusingly.
Jeff cowered underneath the glare of the feisty Princess. "N-no, Your Highness…"
Kathryn eyed him suspiciously, and was just about to search the other rooms when she caught Jeff shifting to conceal a bulge on one of the beds.
"You," she barked, pointing at the boy, "move out of the way!"
Jeff grudgingly obeyed. Kathryn walked over and threw back the covers, revealing a small figure of about 3'6, cowering on the bed.
"Merry?" Kathryn gasped; her playmate was almost unrecognisable except for the shiny plastic texture of his skin. "What happened to you? You were supposed to be small. And flat. And square."
Merry climbed out of bed miserably. "Gandalf the White accidentally spilled some potions on me, and now I'm a…" Merry choked back tears, thinking of his glorious CD case days, "…Hobbit."
~~~
The issue of why Merry is not a CD case has been outstanding for several weeks, and I have thought of it as my responsibility, to explain to you, my readers, why he cannot be a CD case.
Merry could be a CD case, if such things would exist in Middle Earth. But since the inhabitants do not use stereos/Discmans, and have not yet invented the very useful, very rounded, and very flat CD, they will not need CD cases, therefore Merry is not a CD case.
I have discovered many uses for a thing as simple as the CD case, e.g. for carrying CDs (the obvious); for chucking against the wall when you feel frustrated (the not so obvious); or for just sitting there and looking pretty (one use I have only just discovered a week ago).
Merry (here we talk about Merry as if he is an inanimate object) can be used for many things, yet none of these include CD carrying, against-wall chucking, or pretty looking just sitting there. Of course Merry is rather pretty looking, but that is not one of his strong points.
Merry has a social life. A CD case, on the other hand, does not. Our lovely hobbit has many friends; Frodo, Sam, Pippin, Treebeard, just to name a few. Not meaning to hurt the CD case's feelings, but somehow I have a sinking feeling in my stomach that the CD case will not make so many friends, so fast.
Imagine this scene:
Pippin looked up at Treebeard with a pleading look in his eyes. "Please, for all things that are green and pretty in this world, fight Saruman?"
When Treebeard remained silent, seemingly still trying to make up his mind, Pippin looked to the Empty CD Case for hope that he will say something in order to convince the Ents to fight a war they were not willing to fight.
The Empty CD Case said nothing.
~If the above scene has not convinced you that Merry is not a CD case, then take a look at this scene below:
"Ho, hm," breathed Treebeard, supporting Pippin and the Empty CD Case with his long arms.
"Whoops," the old Ent said as the Empty CD Case slid off his shoulder and landed on the ground. Treebeard picked it up and placed it onto his palm, securing it with some Superglue of Doom.
"Are you alright?" Pippin asked the Empty CD Case, "that was some nasty fall."
The Empty CD Case said nothing.
Pippin nodded, satisfied, "yup, our Empty CD Case has always been a man of few words. He'll be fine."
Yes, my readers, I think I have succeeded in convincing you that Merry is indeed not a CD case.
~End
Disclaimer: I own nothing except for the CD case that is meant for looking pretty.
A/N: Yay, it's nearly the holidays! *Does 'nearly holidays' dance* I hope I'll get some time in the hols to write more fic… not surprising if I do, I have no life… *smiles sadly*
Upcoming topic: why Elrond is not the extremely annoying can't- sing 'pop star' whose initials are B.S.
