COMPLIMENTS OF LORD VOLDEMORT

DISCLAIMER: You know the drill. All I own is the plot, everything else belongs to somebody who is definitely not me.

Thanks to supernova8610, Aika Hanyou, Lil Miss Potter, Twiggy, Lady Psyche and harrylissa=luv for reviewing. Keep them coming; I like to know what people think.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This isn't a very action-packed chapter; it's meant more to set the mood for the story... barring the Voldemort parts, of course. Whether you like it or not, please review and let me know. It'll encourage me to update weekly, at least.

CHAPTER 3: PADFOOT AND PRONGS

Sirius and his trunk Apparated into James and Lily's home a week before Christmas. Remus, who had been called to the Werewolf Liaison Office and hoped it meant that he could finally get a job, would be coming two days later, as would Peter.

"Good morning, Sirius Black," the House-Elf said cheerfully as he appeared. "Mistress is eating breakfast, and Master has taken Harry for a walk."

"Breakfast," Sirius said enthusiastically. "I can relate to that. I ate already, but travel always makes me hungry. I'm sure Lily's willing to give a few scraps to a starving dog."

He went off towards the kitchen, pausing on the way to send a jet of silver light at the front door. It quivered slightly, and then stood innocently still.

"Don't open that, Lina, we'll let it be a surprise for Master when he gets back, eh?"

Lina smiled happily. She had no idea what Sirius Black had done to the door, but she was sure it would be interesting.

"As soon as you're old enough, Harry," James said, comfortable in the knowledge that Lily was a mile away and could not hear him, "I will teach you some nice hexes to use on those horrible Slytherins."

Harry gurgled.

"Yep. I'll teach you some, and Padfoot will teach you some, and if you're lucky then Moony will eventually forget that he was a Hogwarts Prefect and will finally cease to be committed to keeping every rule devised in its entire thousand-year history. Moony knows some pretty cool hexes, Harry, so do your best to persuade him."

Harry was more intent on trying to put all ten fingers in his mouth together than on his father's advice.

"Fine," James said. "Don't listen to me. In a few years you'll be begging me to teach you some nice curses."

James glanced into a shop whose sign said 'WRIGHT'S: THE BEST SPORTING GOODS SHOP IN ENGLAND'. Ascertaining that there was nobody within except its proprietress, and that she was bent over a crate with her back to the door, he cast a Silencing Charm around the shop and entered soundlessly.

Jane Wright did not look up.

"OI!" James yelled at the top of his lungs. "I JUST SAW SOME NUTTER GOING DOWN THE STREET TALKING ABOUT A MINISTRY OF MAGIC AND SPELLBOOKS! DO YOU THINK I SHOULD CALL THE AUTHORITIES? CAN I TELEPHONE THE NEWSPAPER FROM HERE? I CAN JUST SEE THE HEADLINE: 'IS THERE SUCH A THING AS MAGIC?'"

Jane Wright leapt twelve feet into the air.

"Was it James Potter you heard? Wait till I get him! But there's no such thing as Magic," she said hurriedly. "You know perfectly well there isn't."

Still with her back to James, she began scrabbling in the crate.

"I dropped my wand – no you didn't hear that! Wands don't exist! Just a – I –"

She found her wand and spun to face him.

"Oblivi –"

"Expelliarmus!" James said quickly.

"What – oh, for – you again, Potter? Haven't you given up your foolish pranks? I honestly thought some Muggle had heard – shouting like that, anyone could have heard you!"

"I put a charm on the building," James said, throwing back her wand. "No harm done."

"Out! Do you want something? And before you ask, Potter, I will not sell you a toy broomstick for Harry. Lily's already spoken to me about that. You can't put a five-month-old baby on a broomstick, even if it's only two feet off the ground."

"Oh, go on, you know you'll give it to me eventually."

"What I know is that if you don't clear out right now and let me get on with my work, I will hex you into oblivion. Now get out."

James left, chuckling softly. The Wrights were the only other wizarding family in Godric's Hollow, and he had spent most of his childhood in their shop.

He strolled back towards the house, talking to Harry all the time.

"You see? Wasn't Dad clever? Mum's clever too, Harry, but Mum wouldn't have seen the joke. Dad, on the other hand, has a highly-developed sense of humour... here we are, home sweet home. Now remember, Harry, all this is between you and me. Don't go telling Mum anything."

James walked up the sloping path and pushed open the door.

Lily had finished breakfast and was concentrating on her newspaper. Sirius, however, was halfway through an enormous stack of toast, listening hard in the direction of the front door.

Halfway through his eleventh slice of toast, his patience was rewarded with an ear-splitting yell from James.

"Got him!" Sirius said gleefully, jumping to his feet. Lily looked up from her paper.

"Whatever mess you've made, Sirius, you and James had better make sure that it's cleaned up by the time I finish my coffee. Woe betide you if there's a single spot on my carpet when I come to inspect it!"

"Don't worry," Sirius called over his shoulder as he ran from the room. "I wouldn't dare have you upset with me!"

James stood in the doorway, dripping with some purple liquid that smelt worse than Stinksap and tasted like he imagined Bubotuber pus might. For one wild moment he thought that Lily, for some reason, had Charmed the door. Then he saw Sirius emerge from a hallway, grinning broadly.

"Good morning, Prongs. How did you get that stuff on yourself? Very careless of you. Hello, Harry, come to Padfoot. Dad smells so nasty, we don't want to be around him any more. Padfoot's nice and clean, look."

James let Sirius take Harry, spluttering for a minute before he found his tongue.

"Sirius Black! Wait till I get hold of you! You put my son down and turn and face me like a man."

"Oh, come on, Prongs," Sirius said cheerfully. "Think what Lily'll say if you chase me around the house and drip that stuff all over the place."

James pulled out his wand and pointed it at Sirius.

"All right, all right," Sirius said hastily. "How about this: think what'll happen if we do that to McGonagall. She can't give us detention any more!"

"Now you're talking," James said, lowering his wand. "What is it, anyway?"

"A spell I found in Zonko's annual catalogue. We'll have to practice it somewhere – er – maybe we should clean it off the floor before Lily comes."

"Right. Evanesco." James pocketed his wand. "I am now going to take a bath, and if you put the spell on the bathroom door..."

"Then you won't be able to do a thing to me because Lily would have killed me already."

"Poor Peter. I don't think he'll enjoy his Christmas dinner," Lily said, using her wand to hang tinsel around a portrait of James's great- grandfather. "Good heavens, you two, what an enormous tree! Do you honestly imagine you can stand it up in here?"

"No problem," Sirius said, waving his wand at the ceiling, which rose ten feet. "Plenty of space if you know how to arrange things. And why shouldn't Peter enjoy Christmas dinner?"

"Well, McGonagall's coming. Don't you remember what it was like at Hogwarts that year when Dumbledore decided that the heads of house should sit at their house tables because all the other teachers had gone home for the holidays and they were the only ones left?"

"Don't we?" James chuckled. He waved his wand experimentally and a stream of red and green bubbles came from it. "She sat right next to Wormtail and for five minutes he was too nervous to pick up his knife and fork."

"And then she asked him if he intended to wait till everyone had left and eat his Christmas dinner by himself."

"And when they pulled a cracker together a Sneakoscope came out –"

"And Peter didn't know what it was –"

"And McGonagall yelled at him for an hour because he hadn't being paying attention in Defense."

"It's not funny," Lily said, although she looked as though she was trying very hard not to laugh. "And I'm surprised Peter hasn't complained yet. He's terrified of McGonagall."

"You know," James said thoughtfully, "I don't think Peter realizes she'll be there... he'd gone for a drink when we were talking about McGonagall and Dumbledore coming, and after that... well, you don't mention McGonagall in Peter's presence, do you?"

"And, Lily," Sirius said firmly, "don't tell him. He'll only spend all week moaning and trembling and not having any fun."