Angst Alert! I thought it was time for some good old fashioned angst. There is also a swear word, and some disturbing imagery, depending on how sensitive you are. Also, remember this is first season, so Dylan's a bit of a jerk.
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She came towards him, obscured by shadows. As she approached, she walked into the light, revealing her slowly; starting at her feet and moving upwards until she was inches from him and in full view. He lost his breath when he saw her face. Blood and other gore spattered her face and hair. Her clothes were ripped, and her eyes dead. She glared at him. It felt like she was looking straight through him.
"You did this." Three simple words, stated with enough menace to make Tyr step back. They were enough to crush his heart. They seemed to carry on forever in the silence.
"No," he begged. "I didn't know! I tried to help!"
"Tried. And failed. They're all dead because of you. All you could think about was finding some backwater whore to satisfy your constant uncontrollable urges. Look."
Images started appearing before his eyes. Dylan, lying dead on the Command Deck with a pool of blood surrounding his head. Tyr, shot to death in the corridor. Rev and Trance lying dead among the flowers in Obs deck; their cloudy eyes staring at nothing. And Rommie, dismantled in his machine shop.
"I didn't know! I'm so sorry!" he yelled at Beka. He tried to get away from her, but it felt like someone had paralyzed his legs.
"It's your fault, Harper. Your fault." Her words and the images started to overlap, moving faster and faster until they blurred together. "Your fault!"
"Noooo!" The scream tore from his throat, and he jumped bolt upright in bed. Gulping air, he looked wildly around the room. No Beka, bodies or horrible words taunting him. As his breathing slowed he started to feel the warm tears flowing down his cheeks. He was in quarters, and grateful he'd engaged privacy mode. He'd had a feeling the nightmares would visit him tonight. With everything that had happened, he hadn't had a chance to deal with anything yet. It was all sneaking up on him now.
He knew what he had to do to make them stop. He'd go see the one person who'd always listened to his dreams and comforted him after. Wiping his eyes, he hopped off his bed and quietly made his way to Beka's quarters.
XxXxXxXx
"Whoever you are, you'd better have a damn good reason for waking me at two thirty in the morning," Beka growled as she drug herself out of bed and stalked to the door. It swished open to reveal a rumpled looking and puffy eyed engineer.
"Harper!" To say she was shocked was an understatement. He hadn't shown up on her doorstep in a while. It was always about the same thing, though. Ever since she'd brought him aboard the Maru he'd had terrifying nightmares. He'd deny their existence but being on such a small ship, she'd always heard his screams. It wasn't until one night where he had woken up thrashing so violently he'd broken his wrist that he started to realized he needed help. Slowly, he started to relax enough around her to start sharing the demons that plagued his sleep. They started to taper off, but any new trauma always brought new ones to the surface. Not needing to speak, she pulled him into her quarters and led him to the bed. She got him a glass of water and sat next to him. She scanned him for injuries, but didn't see any.
"I'm sorry to bother you like this, but..."
"No, Harper. I don't want to hear apologies, understand? I promised I'd always be here for you." She slung her arm around his shoulders.
"It was all my fault," he started. "Everyone was dead. Everyone but you. And you kept saying I did it, and I saw them all, and..."
His words were all running together. "Harper, slow down. Want to start from the beginning?"
"The whole crew was dead because of what I did. I tried to tell you I didn't know, but you said if I wasn't always thinking about things I want, then I wouldn't have done it. I didn't know that girl was carrying that virus. I was just looking for a little fun."
Beka felt her composure slip slightly. "Oh Seamus," she breathed. "We don't blame you. No one does. You couldn't have known. What's important is that we're all still alive thanks to you." She pulled him into a tight embrace, and was dismayed to feel his ribs pressed up against her side. Everyone had been so wrapped up in saving the ship from the virus they hadn't noticed Harper's deteriorating physical condition.
Sure Harper had been through a lot, and on the outside appeared to be an energetic young man who could handle anything life threw at him, but Beka knew better. On the inside he was the most insecure person she'd ever met. Of course he wouldn't just 'get over' almost destroying the ship.
"I don't think Dylan's very happy with me. What if he kicks us off his ship?"
"Dylan's just being Dylan. He's under a lot of stress right now. I don't want you to worry about that, alright? I'll have a talk with him."
"Thanks, Boss," Harper said, still a bit shaky.
"No problem, kiddo. Do you think you'll be alright if you went back to your quarters? Unfortunately, time doesn't stop because you need to take a breather. Dylan wants us ready when the virus's creator shows up."
"I think so. At least on the bright side I got into your bed," he joked.
Beka gave him a light whack upside the head. "Off to bed with ya. Tomorrow morning you and I have an appointment in the mess hall. We can eat whatever you want. Deal?"
"You got it, Boss." Feeling slightly better, Harper made his way back to his quarters. Not quite ready to attempt sleep again, he started compiling a list of everything he'd need to repair.
XxXxXxXx
At precisely 0700 hours, Beka marched into the mess hall to find her target at the table, indulging in a cup of coffee. He glanced up, slightly taken aback at her abrupt entrance.
"I want you to promise that whatever happens to this ship or us once Mister Mysterious shows up you will not punish or blame Harper in any way."
"Good morning to you too. Coffee?" he offered, like he hadn't noticed her mood.
"Okay. You did hear me, right?" Some people she just wasn't sure about.
"I heard you fine. I don't go around arbitrarily punishing crew members or blaming them for things out of their control. But understand that I will not hesitate to discipline any crew member should the situation call for it."
"And does Harper's situation?"
"Does his situation what?"
"Call for it," Beka ground out. "Do you blame Harper for almost killing us, almost destroying your ship, and bringing about yet another goon with guns looking for a fight?"
"I expect accountability, Beka. Harper was careless on Winnipeg Drift, and with his reprogramming of my ship. He's part of a crew now and needs to understand that his actions have consequences past himself."
"Part of a crew now?!" Beka steamed. "He was part of a crew, my crew, long before you came into the picture." Beka noticed Dylan's face hardening, and took a seat across from him. Calming herself, she took a different approach. "You don't know Harper very well, or any of us for that matter. I'm not going to betray his trust in me, but you need to understand that he's had a rough life and this is the best thing he's ever had. He would never intentionally do anything to ruin that. Knowing that you blame him for something he feels is out of his control would destroy him. All I ask is that you let me handle this."
Dylan seemed to think things over before answering. "I understand your concerns. Really, I do. And I have noticed Harper's tendency towards being insecure. I'm not going to do anything to hurt him." Before Dylan could finish his thought, the ship jolted to the side, knocking the coffee onto the floor.
"Andromeda, report!" He and Beka made their way to Command.
"We've hit a spatial disturbance. It's passed now, but my sensors were unable to detect anything prior to impact."
"Are they functioning properly?"
"Yes. I've run a self-diagnostic and they're functioning at one hundred percent."
A sudden realization hit Beka as they entered Command. "Dylan, the same thing happened on the Maru. We hit a gravitational disturbance, but couldn't find anything on sensors. That was right before Harper interfaced to activate the virus."
"You don't think they're related, do you?"
"I'm not sure, but the chances of this happening twice, to the same people in a different area of space seems pretty far fetched. Don't you think?"
"Dylan, I think I have something you should see," Tyr calmly announced.
