CHAPTER EIGHT
Okay, so two months have passed. Soda and the Titans are getting along just fine. Superb, actually. Raven still doesn't like Soda, but Soda's okay with that. It's pissing Pepper off a little, but Soda doesn't mind. She stays home and cleans the house, or sometimes washes the car when Cyborg gives her the 'okay'. The first time she tried washing it without asking, he screamed like a little girl when he saw the water on his baby. But then the end of summer came. It was a sad, sad time, as I'm sure you know. Soda was under the impression that she didn't have to go to school. After all, the Titans had a big house. It needed regular cleaning every day. She was pretty smart already. No more school for her!
"You're going back to school in two weeks." Robin said that morning at the breakfast table. Soda nearly dropped the pan she had been washing.
"WHAAAAAAT?" She screamed.
"Well, you still have to go. You're fourteen, you can't quit school yet. We're your guardians now. I wouldn't want to be breaking the law."
"WHAAAAAAT?" Soda grabbed Robin by the collar and started shaking him violently. She was babbling.
"Ican'tbelieveyou'remakingmegobacktoschoolwhywouldyoudosomethinghorriblelikethatschoolisanawfulawfulplaceandthekidsaremeantome
andandcallmeweirdtheteacherspatronizemeandtreatmelikeI'mfiveIhateittherewhydoIhavetogowhycan'tIstayhereandcleanforyouguysifI'meatingtoomuch
andbeinganuisanceI'llgetanotherjobandhelpwiththebillsIpromisejustdon'tmakemegobacktothatevilplacepleeeeeease!"
Pepper's Translation: I can't believe you're making me go back to school! Why would you do something horrible like that? School is an awful, awful place! The kids are mean to me and call me weird! The teachers patronize me and treat me like I'm five. I hate it there, why do I have to go? Why can't I stay here and clean for you guys? If I'm eating too much and being a nuisance, I'll get another job and help with the bills. I promise! Just don't make me go back to that evil place, pleeeeeease!
"Did anyone catch that?" Beast Boy asked.
"Well, from what I can tell she really hates school." Cyborg said.
"Why would someone despise a place of learning?" Starfire asked. "School sounds like a wonderful place. Oh, how I wish to go!"
Soda took a break from killing Robin and marched up to Starfire, "You…crazy…woman…" Soda said, her eyes glowing.
"Why do you not wish to partake in the experience of education?" Starfire asked, inquisitively.
Soda looked over at Cyborg, "So she's honestly never been to school?"
"She mentioned something about tutoring on her home planet, but she's never been to an Earth school." Beast Boy explained.
"Ohhh," Soda said, "Well, sit back, Starfire. I shall tell you a tale. You see, it's not that I hate learning. I actually rather enjoy it. But in school, they do their best to make it as horrible as possible. The teachers are tightwads that scream at you everyday. They give you horrible boring books with complicated words in them, and tell you to read the entire thing by Monday! Now instead of leisurely reading a book, you must cram it down your throat and ignore comprehension. They try to educate you about the English language, which is tortuous and contradicting."
"Oh, that fact I know very well." Starfire interrupted, "But you already speak English properly. Why must you continue to learn it?" she said, tilting her head to one side.
"No one knows," Soda said, leaning in. Her eyes were wide and her voice sounded mystical. She was actually quite a good story teller. Even Raven had stopped reading her book to listen to Soda's explanation of school.
"No one knows, Starfire. It is a great mystery. But an even bigger mystery is algebra. It's all very logical, but you must be able to memorize things. Oh, the things you must memorize! Formulas, calculations, calculator instructions. It's all quite boring, and the probability that you will use it when you graduate is incredibly low."
"You know, probability is something you learn in algebra." Raven intervened.
Soda whirled around, "Shhh," she said. Then turned back to Starfire. Her story was beginning to stray from her personal opinion, and was going to get even more melodramatic than it already was, "Then, there's history. Where we must learn about crazy women with hatchets wrecking saloons and trying to keep people from drinking. Not to mention the dates! Oh, the dates…How I hate them so. My long-term nemesis is the date memorizing. Next is science, which is just a waste of my time. Most of science is common sense, when you think about it. Besides, how can anyone get ANY learning done when everyone is debating about the theory of evolution? Those indecisive weirdos need to make up their mind about what they're going to do! The only thing I like about school, the only thing I ever liked, was musical education. How wonderful that was! I signed up for it every semester except one. That was because I had to take P.E. Boy oh boy, don't even get me started on P.E…"
Soda continued in this fashion for several more minutes, using exuberant gesticulations in her movements. Sometimes she would jump on a piece of furniture when her speech reached a crescendo. When she looked thoughtful, she walked around the room. The whole thing was quite theatrical. The Titans watched Soda in stifled amusement until her story returned to musical education.
"…But ah, yes! Music was my favorite subject. Still is, as a matter of fact. I remember, every day we played a new instrument. The whole class would rotate around the room to different stations. Each station had a different instrument in it. My favorites were the piano and the alto saxophone. I desperately wanted private lessons in them, but then we moved here."
She let out a long, exaggerated sigh. That was when Beast Boy noticed something about Soda. She had become less of an overly-polite babbling blushing girl, and more of a mild-mannered weird kid who liked talking and just…saying weird things. Soda had actually changed quite a bit. He supposed that it was because she was finally getting used to them. Even Raven was beginning to speak to her occasionally, instead of just flat-out ignoring her.
"Well, it doesn't matter. School starts in two weeks. You'll be going to the nearest public school, Metro City High." Cyborg said flatly.
"Uheh? I'm in High School now?" Soda stopped complaining long enough to ask a question.
"That's what Joey said. He said you finished eighth grade, and this would be your freshman year." Robin explained.
Soda counted on her fingers, "Five, six, seven, eight…Wow! I AM a freshman! Neat. Okay, I'll go to school. After all, I've heard that High School is a lot more fun than Middle School."
You certainly changed your mind quickly.
Pepper! We're going to be freshmen!
Yes, I know. I can't believe you forgot. Nice speech, by the way. Maybe you should try out for the Drama Club.
I always wanted to be in one. Our old school didn't have a Drama program.
"Tomorrow we shall escort you to the place of learning to meet all your wonderful new mentors!" Starfire said.
"Alrighty then!" Soda and Starfire struck a silly pose and then marched off.
"How can they take themselves seriously when they do that?" Robin asked.
"They're morons." said Raven.
END CHAPTER EIGHT
A/N: Right now I'm in the funny part of the story. I've broken it down into portions. The "school" portion will be humorous. I suppose the portion after that will be serious. I still have planning to do.
