Title: Deep Thoughts
Author: Zee
Disclaimer: "People say to me 'Fabio, you have the body of Hercules and the mind of Zeus.' And I say 'Thank you.'"
Note: …Wow. I should be killed. It's been…using my mad math skillz (with a 'z,' yo), hold on…uh…
hide-chu: Six months. It has been six months since you updated this story.
…No way.
hide-chu: Yes way. Can I lynch you?
…yes. Yes you may. I can't believe it took me so long to update this, I completely forgot about it and JESUS CHRIST PINK HAIRED FIEND, THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!
hide-chu: Lynching you.
GET THE FUCK OFF! Here's your story…SERIOUSLY, MAN, GET OFFA ME!
/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/
(So…Pietro…how ya feeling?)
Confused.
(Mmm hmm. And why is that?)
Because…no one's ever like…made me feel like this before.
(Aaaaw, is wittle PiePie in luuuuuuv?)
SHUT UP! I don't know!
(Well do you think you are?)
I don't know what to think! I mean…I've liked him for so long and now I know how he feels about me and everything and that was like…the greatest kiss KNOWN TO MAN, but…I don't….Ugh…
(Quit 'ugh'ing, Daddy's coming!)
FUCK!
"Pietro."
"Yes, father?"
"…why are you making soup?"
"Uh…it's for John. You know, he's out of commission and everything and I thought he'd like some."
"Ah. And what were you 'yahooing' about before?"
FUCK!
(Well, that's not good)
"FU-I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Pietro."
Ooooh, I hate when he looks at me like that. I should tell him-
(DON'T YOU DA-)
"Johntoldmehe'slikedmeforalongtimeandI'velikedhimforalongtimetoosonowwe'regoingoutandIwassohappyIhadtoyellaboutit."
(…Hopefully he didn't understand that.)
"…you and John are a couple now?"
FUCK!
(That's getting annoyingly repetitive…)
"FU-Yeah…"
Oh God…I know I don't ask for much…but please don't let him hurt me or anything…not again…
"…you're a homosexual, Pietro?"
"Um…bisexual, actually."
(Do you have any metal on you?)
I don't think so.
(Then hopefully we'll be okay…)
"Ah. You may continue with your cooking. The soup looks about done. After you give this to John, I need you run to Xavier's lab and steal some of the adamantium (1) he has. That will be all."
…that's it?
(Wow. You got off easy, man.)
NICE! Okay, give the soup to Johnny, get the stuff for father, and then we're done. Sweet!
(Nifty.)
Okay, let's see if John went back to sleep or-
"Hey John! You're awake!"
"PIETRO!"
(WHOA. Little excited, isn't he?)
Shut it, it's cute!
"Hey, Johnny! You sound better. Listen, I can't stay for long, father has some errand he wants me to run, but I came to give you some soup. You like chicken noodle, right?"
"PiePie, if it's made by you, I love anything."
(Aww…he's crazy!)
I said SHUT IT!
"Ooh…that's so sweet John. Here's a spoon. Hope you like it."
"Hey, could you, um…stay with me while I eat it? Just to, you know, talk?"
"Oh, John, I would love to, but I told you, father asked me to do something for him. I gotta go."
Aaww…he looks so forlorn!
(-sigh...-)
"Oh…um…can I have a goodbye kiss?"
Oooh, frisky are we?
(Just friggin' kiss him)
LONG AND HARD AND ROUGH!
(LATER. You do that LATER. Just…you know, a peck. With tongue)
Nice!
"Um…all…right…"
Aaaaaw yes, I like this.
(For once we are in complete agreement…)
"Mmmmm….I love you Pietro…."
(…holy shit, did he just SAY that!)
I-I can't believe it…he just said…
(YOU DON'T SAY THAT ON THE FIRST DATE!)
WILL YOU STOP IT! John's allowed to be…uh…eccentric…but what do I say?
(Like I fuckin' know!)
"John...I…um….I…"
(Bravo. Excellent work Pietro)
Should I say I love him back! Should I leave! Should I-
"Yes, Pietro?"
ravish him until he can't remember his name! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!
(Ugh, I do)
"I…gottagobye"
…that's it? That's your ingenious plan! HE PROCLAIMS HIS LOVE TO ME AND YOU JUST HAAAAVE TO PECK HIM ON HIS HEAD AND RUN AWAY! THAT'S ALL!
(In so many words yes)
Oh GOD…
(Just get running to Xavier's, PiePie…)
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU MADE ME DO THAT! He probably hates me now!
(Fine. I'll do it. Jesus, you're annoying)
I'm not annoying I'm love sick-watch out for that Wolverine guy, he's annoying.
(No shit)
Okay, do you have that stuff?
(Yes, Pietro, we have 'that stuff')
Good. BECAUSE WHAT IF HE DOESN'T LIKE ME ANYMORE AND THINKS THAT I WASN'T REALLY GOING ON A MISSION BUT WAS JUST GOING OFF TO BE WITH LANCE OR SOMEONE ELSE LIKE I WAS JUST GOING TO GET AWAY FROM HIM BECAUSE I THOUGHT HE WAS SUFFOCATING ME EVEN THOUGH HE WASN'T OHMIGOD HE HATES ME HE TOTALLY HATES ME I CAN'T STAND THIS WE'RE GOING TO BUY CHOCOLATE!
(…chocolate?)
YES! CHOCOLATE! IT WILL MAKE ME FEEL BETTER AND I CAN GIVE IT TO JOHNNY TO PROVE I LOVE HIM!
(Or you could be a dumb fuck and proclaim your love for him like he loves to do)
He is NOT a dumb fuck just because he loves me! Maybe in Australia they do that as a normal dating thing!
(Yeah. And Hitler's greatest ambition in life was to be a showgirl in Las Vegas)
Oh shut up. We are now in the store.
(I just love that intuitive grasp of the obvious you possess)
Shut it. What kind of chocolate should we get him?
(The kind that tastes good)
YOU'RE NOT HELPING!
(Yes I am. I KNOW you wanted to get him white chocolate. White chocolate is nasty get him dark chocolate filled with cream or something)
Yeah…and then I could MELT IT AND LICK IT OFF HIS CHEST!
(-sigh- Yes, you could do that too)
Hee hee! I'm so happy!
(And gay)
You know, gay is a synonym for happy so you didn't insult me. And we're home!
(Be still my heart)
Now I can see my Johnny-poo and give him chocolate and tell him it's okay that he loves me BECAUSE I LOVE HIM BACK!
(You're also pathetically-what the hell is father doing?)
Huh?
(Look, man)
"PYRO!"
"ARGH!"
NO! FATHER, LEAVE MY JOHNNY ALONE!
"Pyro, were you saying my son's name in your sleep?"
He was!
"Eh…noooo…?"
(Aaaw, he had a wet dream about you. Now that's true love)
"Good, that would have disturbed me to no end. How are you feeling Pyro?"
Why would that have disturbed him? He knows about us.
(Shhh…)
"Um…better?"
He looks so cute when he's fluster-
(I said SHH!)
"Good. I'll be leaving the compound for a short time. I have some other…things to attend to. Are you feeling alright?"
"Yes, sir, I'm feeling better…"
Soon he'll be calling me sir when I get him on his-
(FOR THE LOVE OF GOD BE QUIET! Why the FUCK is father so damn close to OUR John!)
Our?
(WHATEVER!)
"Excellent…while I'm gone…Pietro will be in charge so.."
I'll be in charge? Sweet!
(I swear to god, if you don't stop talk-JESUS, MARY, JOESEPH AND ALL THEIR FUCKING SHEEP, WHAT THE HELL IS FATHER DOING!)
ARGH! DADDY, STOP CHOKING MY BOYFRIEND!
"-gasp!-"
"…if you ever touch my son again, I swear to God you will never live to see the light of day, or a flame, again. Do you have an understanding?"
"-cough- Y-yes sir!"
Ho
(ly)
Shit.
(What the hell)
was that!
"Good. Hope you feel better soon."
Did he close the door?
(Yes…)
"FATHER!"
"Ah, Pietro. I assume you heard our little exchange so I don't need to explain anything to you. I'll probably be back in two weeks, perhaps. You're in charge. Oh, and, Pietro?"
"Y-Yes father?"
"Remember when you were little and were bad and I tied you up and didn't let you move?"
Oh no…
(Oh no…)
"-gulp-…yes…"
"If you don't break off whatever you have going on with Pyro, I may have to discipline you in a similar way."
"Yes…father…"
…
(…)
…
(…Pie-)
Don't. Just don't. I need to talk to John.
(Are you going to-)
I don't KNOW. I just…I need to talk to him about this.
(Oh man…)
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(1) Spelling? It's the shit in Logan, The Hairy One.
/o/
Yet ANOTHER plot twist! Hohohoho! Does Magneto want to keep them apart so he can do the freaknasty with John? Will Pietro break up with John? Or will they have an illicit love affair behind Magneto's back? Some will be relieved in DEEP THOUGHTS, CHAPTER TWELVE! FROM JOHN'S POINT OF VIEW! DEEP THOUGHTS! ACTION! ADVENTURE! ROMANCE! LAFFS!
hide-chu: You made up a catch phrase for it?
Naw, I think I saw that on some old time comic book and thought it was cool. So, I think I'll actually be updating this more often, as shocking as it seems.
hide-chu: You? Update? Heaven forbid!
I would write more, but my tendonitis is coming back in my right wrist (See how much I love you all? I type in motherfucking PAIN for you!), so I'll have to end this now. Have a lovely week! And eat chocolate! It makes life sweeter.
hide-chu: And please review.
