Disclaimer: Neither I, nor my psychotic partner Emily, own any of the brilliantly awesome Harry Potter characters, except the even cooler ones that you've never seen before. I've seen PoA three times! Mwahahaaa! Play that funky swing music Remus! Cough, yeah… I don't own the awesome swing music, and I'm pretty sure Emily doesn't either, lol.

Chapter Four is dedicated to Luna Moonglade for being pretty much our only reviewer and fellow Canadian!

Warning: Craziness Factor – advkndlvjns,kdvnskvbsc nju – Ummm, not a number, but that's okay…right? The Craziness speaks for itself, eh?

This chapter of the luminous FF, Harry Potter and the Green Flame Torch (GFT for short), brought to you by,

Emily

AND

Abby

Chapter Five

What Happens To The Unfortunate Idiots Who Insult Canada

"Rose, c'mon and get up!"

Rose groaned and pulled her covers up over her head. Hermione glared and pulled them off. Rose, being very, very entangled in said blankets, was thrown to the floor.

The corner of Hermione's four poster bed started smouldering ominously.

"Hurry up already, we're going to be late on our first day!"

"Meh!" grumbled Rose, rolling over on the floor.

A small ball of fire sparked on the previously smoking corner of Hermione's bed.

"Agh, I don't know what I'm going to do with – Oh my God, what did you do to my bed?"

The aforementioned bed was covered in dancing red flames.

Rose muttered something about "evil fiends, waking me up at God forsaken hours of the morning." Unfortunately, after all that effort and trauma on Hermione's part, she was still half asleep.

Hermione stomped her foot in frustration before a demonic smirk came to her lips. "Fine, then…you'll just have to miss breakfast –"

Suddenly Rose jumped up and started scrambling around the room at top speed. In ten seconds she was standing, slightly breathlessly but ready to go, before Hermione and the bed was devoid of fire.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Rose chided and led a rather disoriented Hermione down the stairs.

The common room was empty. Rose smiled innocently. "See, if you had been up on time, we wouldn't be last."

Hermione, not amused in the least, simply glared and walked out of the room, leaving a laughing Rose in her wake. All of a sudden, Rose realised she was alone. She ran after Hermione, yelling at her to wait, before finally settling down in a walk, deciding to find her own way to breakfast.

Abby was running helter skelter around her dorm room, trying to get her stuff ready and change at the same time. She had her Potions textbook in her mouth (not an easy feat, as the book was quite thick) and was hoping on one foot, trying to get a sock emblazoned with maple leaves on. Blaise watched amusedly from the doorway.

All of the other girls – lucky, sane, sensible people that they are, Abby thought savagely – had already vacated the room to grab a bite to eat.

Abby finished yanking her sock on, put her Potions book in her bag and looked around to see if she had forgotten anything. Seemingly satisfied, she dragged Blaise from the room and they ran back to the Great Hall.

Blaise took her usual seat at the very end of the table and after a moment's consideration and a shrug, Abby sat beside her.

"So…what sports do you guys play here? You don't play Cricket, do you?"

Blaise raised an eyebrow at her. "Cricket?"

"You know…Muggle game…involves whacking balls with a bat resembling a two by four..."

"Wha-"

"Ah, Abbika," said a voice from behind her.

Abby cringed.

Draco Malfoy sat down across from her. "Good morning."

Abby rolled her eyes and turned back to her breakfast. When Draco wasn't looking she started flicking cereal at him. Blaise shook her head.

Draco looked up to find his robes encrusted with milky flakes. "What in the –" he shot Blaise a glare. "What the bloody hell are you on about?"

Blaise didn't even look up. Abby smirked.

"I think she finds your fashion sense leaves much to be desired."

Draco gawked. Blaise smiled, still not looking up. Abby's smirk broadened..

"Which is a sentiment I agree with whole-heartedly."

Draco gawked. Abby flicked more cereal at him.

"Oh, and please don't call me Abbika," she shuddered. "Blasted, accursed name that it is."

Hermione settled down between Harry and Ron, haughtily ignoring their inquiries as to where a certain Rose Black was. Her stormy expression cleared immediately however and she let out a gasp of apparent remembrance, rounding on Harry like a wolf on its prey.

"Harry, I completely forgot…I was so distracted, and I got thirteen Outstanding OWLs, but that's completely irrelevant…what did you get on your OWLs?"

Ron groaned. "She's been like this ever since we got the letters," he informed Harry. "Prattling on and on, endlessly…" Hermione's glare was enough to silence Ron and he hastily went back to buttering his toast.

"So, Harry…" the sixth year witch prompted. "Spill!" she demanded, frustratedly.

Harry raised an eyebrow (and if Abby had been there she would have been spitting with jealousy) and mumbled something under his breath before following Ron in turning back to his breakfast.

"Sorry, didn't quite catch that."

"Nine."

"Hermione was caught in the act of taking a sip of pumpkin juice as she broke into a coughing fit. "What?!" she gasped in disbelief. "Oh, you mean nine OWLs? That's all right Harry, I suppose that's not too bad…" she trailed off.

"No, I meant nine Outstanding OWLs."

Ron laughed and clapped Harry on the back. "Good on you, mate! I only scraped by with six Os."

Hermione rolled her eyes, accepting her timetable from Professor McGonagall. "Anyways, what do you have today?"

Harry turned to his own schedule. "Potions, double Care of Magical Creatures, Divination, Transfiguration and double Defence."

Now it was Ron's turn to choke on his breakfast. "You actually got into NEWT level Potions?"

"Just barely," Harry grinned.

Hermione scanned her timetable again. "I have the same as you Harry. Ron?"

"Free Period and the same. Why do we all have Divination anyways?"

"Don't you ever listen at all, Ron?" Hermione snorted. "Since Dumbledore is back and he has both Professor Trelawney and Firenze to teach the subject it's become mandatory for sixth year and up. A waste of time if you ask me."

Harry nodded vigorously. "So who do we get today then?"

"Trelawney," Hermione replied stiffly, clearly put out that she was required to pick up such a ludicrous subject again. "And, it's with the Slytherins, surprise, surprise. We always get the worst classes with them. And this year is no different." She cast a critical glare over her schedule.

Ron grinned. "Maybe if you get to Potions early Snape'll be nice?"

Harry and Hermione stared.

"Nicer?"

Harry and Hermione continued staring.

"Than usual?"

Stares.

"Um…or not?"

The three laughed and began gathering their stuff together to head off. Harry paused.

"Hey, Hermione, where did Rose get to?"

Hermione's lips thinned but her eyes were glinting with amusement. "Ah, I think I last saw her up at the tower…"

"And you left her to fend for herself?"

"Who would she have to fend off?" Hermione asked innocently.

"The maze of a labyrinth that is Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."

(A/N: Our system for the OWLs stands thus (heehee, that sounded cool): You know that there are three passing grades (O, E and A) each of which merit and OWL and three failing grades (P, D and T for Troll, lol). Hermione can get up to 16 (she has an extra subject), while Ron and Harry can only get up to 15. Hermione obviously got all of hers, with 13 Outstanding, which is very, very good. Harry got 14 of his (failed Divination, Poor), with 9 Outstanding, which is very good. Ron got 13 of his (failed Divination, Poor, and History of Magic, Poor) with six Outstanding, which is decent, not bad but not really good. If you get the required score to continue in a NEWT level class you can either take it or get a free period. Ron didn't get an O in Potions (which is the only mark Snape accepts, the git) so he has a free period when Harry and Hermione have Advanced Potions. Other than that Harry and Ron have the same classes. Hermione is taking Advanced History of Magic (sucker) and Arithmacy so she has classes sometimes when Harry and Ron don't. You can only take up to seven Advanced classes – or else your timetable would explode, lol – which is the only thing stopping Hermione from taking all of her classes in NEWT level. Harry is taking NEWT level Transfiguration, Defence Against the Dark Arts, Charms, Potions and Care of Magical Creatures. Ron, again, the same but no Potions. Hermione the same, but with History of Magic and Arithmacy on top of that. I think that's it. If anyone wants to see the exact marks of the trio and some others I did when I was bored, email me at either or (wolf obsession, I know, lol) 'cause I'm too lazy to actually post them. Oh, and Abby and Rose are taking the same as Hermione (they didn't actually have OWLs so they have free reign over their subject choices, lol) except Ancient Runes instead of Arithmacy. That's it I think. On with the story!)

Ron was wandering aimlessly about when a figure came hurtling into him from around a corner. He fell to the floor, wondering if the person was enjoying a free period like himself or running very late. Judging by her wild appearance, hair and robes flying everywhere, she was the latter and not having a good first day at Hogwarts.

"Rose?"

"Oh, Ron! Listen, I need your help. Hermione ditched me –"

"We figured as much."

"- and I have absolutely no idea where I should be!"

He thought for a moment. "Harry and Hermione are in Potions. If you're supposed to be there, God help you."

The petite girl swore. Vividly. And fluently. And loudly.

"Here, I'll run you to the dungeons."

She looked at him, smiling. "That sounds ominous."

Ron didn't know what the word ominous meant. His only response was to start tearing down the corridor, leading the lost Canadian to her doom…er, lesson.

There was a loud bang as the door the Potions dungeon slammed open, halfway through class, and Rose Black fell face first through it, landing undignifiedly on the floor.

Abby watched out of the corner of her eye as Professor Snape swooped down on the poor misguided soul before turning back to Blaise. Draco was lounging at the table behind them with Crabbe at his side.

"Now, back to our earlier conversation. Sports," she prompted after correctly interpreting Blaise's blank look.

"Oh, well obviously we don't play Muggle sports. That's entirely unoriginal and frankly quite boring. We play Quidditch. House teams face off against each other for the Quidditch Cup, awarded at the end of the year."

"Quidditch?" Abby asked in disbelief. "That's perfect! I love Quidditch! Where do I sign up? What positions are open? When are practi-"

Draco let out a snort from behind her. "You, play Quidditch? On our team?" When he saw her clueless look his face took on even more smugness, if that was possible. "Girls don't play Quidditch."

Abby stared at him dumbfounded for a moment before beginning to snarl something very derogatory and generally, not nice. But she was interrupted by the Potions Master, who had settled the matter of a late Gryffindor (resulting in a loss of House points) and turned his aggressions on the only person talking in his classroom. Slytherin she may have been, but there was no amount of House favouring that could give her any protection from the gaze the pale man threw at her (Hmmm, he looks oddly familiar…). It was loaded with loathing, the kind of which she had never seen before. It made her want to either shrink away in fear and terror or stick out her chin and say something stupid.

"Miss…Serreda, is it?"

Three guesses as to which action the young witch took and the first two don't count.

"Sir, yes, sir!" she drew her right hand up it a mocking salute.

His black eyes narrowed. "Would you care to tell me why you were discussing not Potion related matters in my classroom?"

She pretended to think about it a moment. "I'm sorry, but I am disinclined to acquiesce to your request." Jack would be proud… She lowered her voice conspirationally. "Means 'no'."

The whole class stared at her, muggleborns and movie buffs grinning before remembering she was a Slytherin and then settling on looking slightly confused.

Obviously the good, kindly Professor didn't quite get the joke. "Then I believe you may want to pay close attention. I do not know what they let you get away with in that Canadian school of yours" – both Abby and Rose had froze in anger. Insulting two Canadian witches (the fact that they were pretending to hate each other was irrelevant) about their nationality is not a good thing. That is, if the one issuing such a horrendous insult intends to remain in good, or at least fairly decent, health – "but I can assure you, that I will not put up with such frivolous behaviour," he was practically hissing as he spoke, in a low, threatening manner.

Then he snapped back to 'Professor' mode. "Tell me, Miss Serreda, if you know enough not to pay attention, what the properties and uses of the wolfsbane plant are."

Abby smirked, an angry, vindictive smile adorning her features. "Would you like the condensed version, Professor, or a long-winded speech, akin to the one you were giving for the first half of this period?"

"Oh, I would very much like to hear this 'long' version of yours. Why not go as far to tell us all your pitiful knowledge contains on the subject of the plant?"

If only Snape had realised what he was getting himself into. He should have felt a small twinge of apprehension as Abby, instead of caving in as her assumed bluff was called, launched into what promised to be exactly the long-winded speech she had foretold.

"Wolfsbane, also known as monkshood or aconite, is found only in the northernmost areas of the world. It can be used to strengthen the human body, making a person temporarily impervious to weariness, and ward off wolves, thus the names wolfsbane. It serves as a poison to any lupine beings, although provokes quite an interesting reaction in werewolves, aiding their human nature while containing their wolfish alter-ego. It is a key ingredient in the Wolfsbane potion, self-explanatorily enough, which has much the same affects as the plant alone, although much more pronounced and even drastic. If however, one were to add too much wolfsbane to said potion, the werewolf taking it would be left incredibly weak, in wolf for and human, and could die. Too little and the wer-creature will not feel the effects of the potion and will go on the rampage, wreaking havoc left, right and center. Wolfsbane can also harm humans who have bonded with animals, wolves in particular, obviously, and furthermore –"

"Enough," Snape snapped. "Most of that was complete rubbish. Detention, Miss Serreda."

"Rubbish?!" Abby demanded, rising from her chair. "I'll have you know that I am one of the most knowledgeable individuals on the wolfsbane plant in all of North America."

The man sneered at her. "Why, might I ask, do you know so much about this plant, Miss Serreda?"

"Because," she sneered back, "I just happen to be violently allergic to that freakin' waste of earthly elements."

"If you are what is considered knowledgeable on this subject then your country must be very sorry, indeed."

Even a blind man would've known he had gone too far. Both Abby and Rose had been tensed, ready for action, and in the split second following the professor's scathing comment they each reverted to the form of violence that came most natural to them.

Thwack! Bang!

Abby drew back, rubbing the knuckles on her left hand, with which she had punched Professor Severus Snape. Behind her Rose, lowered her wand, nodding with satisfaction as she observed the greasy black haired man's no longer black hair. It was white, flanked by strips of red, with a vibrant maroon maple leaf dead center.

Rose smirked and murmured, "You mess with one of us, you mess with all of us."

Abby smirked too. Oh yes, Jack would be very proud.

The two paused to regarded each other a moment.

"Black."

"Serreda."

They nodded in grudging respect, but those closest to them would've seen the undercurrents of amusement in that gaze.

Snape began to stir.

They shared one more glance before rushing to gather their stuff and dashing out of the classroom.

"I'm lobbying for self-defence."

"You, can't moron, he wasn't about to attack you." Blaise recognised that voice as Abby's. She made sure not to make a sound as she crept after her friend.

"Well, what about, protecting our honour? Would they believe that in Canada the worst crime is insulting someone for the country they pay homage to?" That must have been the Black girl.

"Maybe, we are the only two such people here."

"Hmmm. Wait, hold it right there, I'm not helping you!" The two had stopped and Blaise sunk into the shadows.

"As if I would accept help from you, numb-skull."

"Whacko."

"Idiot."

"Washed-up."

"Ditz."

"American."

"…" Abby was silent and Blaise watched with interest as the scene before her unfolded.

"Sorry, that was harsh. Snape's just got me riled up. Insult my country will he?"

"Oh yes, but you sure got him back. The flag in his hair was ingenious. When will it come out?"

"A day or so. But, I might have lost my concentration when I cast it, angry as I was. May stay in for as long as a week, poor sucker."

"Poor? Don't start sympathising him on me, Gryffindor."

"Oh please, lay off, Slytherin. Though, I must say, you did quite well with that punch of yours. Knuckles smarting?"

"Meh, he had a rather hard skull. If they are, though, not only is it none of your business but it was so worth it."

Blaise heard Black chuckling and the slap of skin on skin as they high fived.

"I suppose we can work together if it's against someone as despicable as that, hmmm?"

"Don't get used to it, Serreda. I'm off now, gotta go track down a schedule."

"Ah, what happened?"

"Bloody friends, waking me up too early for my liking and too late to be on time, then ditching me so I got lost."

Abby snorted. "Maybe she ditched you 'cause you started setting things on fire?"

"Hey, I hardly do that anymore! Besides, I put it all out."

"Serves you right."

"Argh, I just wanna go curl up in some corner and sleep."

"I could knock you out if you want."

"No, that's quite alright, I have to find McGonagall, anyhoo."

"Well, see ya later, then. Probably get sent to the Headmaster or something, sooner of later, for punishment and what not."

"If the greasy git even tries using the 'unprovoked attack' line I'll follow your example and deck him one."

"Salut, Pawz."

"Au revoir, Loopy."

The two headed off in separate directions but Blaise remained where she was, deeply confused by the conversation she had just heard.

A/N: Hmm, nothing really happens in this chapter. Ah well. It is pretty funny isn't it? I thought so. Now, some of you are probably confused as to Abby and Rose's relationship. They are friends, pretending to be enemies, but can still unite to kick around anyone who insults their home. Blaise is confused because she knows enough about people to see that they are enemies, but she also knows enough to know that that may not be the case and that there may be more to it than that. Abby doesn't go around punching people, not really, she was just really angry – about Malfoy's 'Girls don't play Quidditch' line – and needed to take it out on someone. Does that cover it?

Oh and we mentioned someone called Jack, who Rose mentioned before when she was thinking about her Canadian friends. He is a movie buff and loves Pirates of the Carribean, which is why he legally changed his name to Jack Sparrow. No one remembers what his real name is, lol. He comes up later along with the rest of the group Rose mentioned in Chapter One or Two I think., oh yeah it was Chapter Two, right after Rose met Hermione. Abby was thinking about him when she used quotes from PotC because he hardly ever says anything that's not from that movie. And then Rose used the "You mess with one of us, you mess with all of us" line from Spiderman.

With Abby and the wolfsbane thingymawhatsit, she was being entirely truthful when she said she was 'violently' allergic to it. She is. But it's a tad more than that...And all that she said about wolfsbane was true, despite what Snape said. Canada is very advanced in its knowledge, magical or other. You'd be surprised what not having a corrupted Ministry can do for a country, lol.

And when Rose called Abby an American she apologised because its not a very nice thing, lol, as far as I think of it. Calling a Canadian an American when American are oblivious to the fact that we do NOT live in igloos...an insult, although more of a friendly, "oh you're stupid, now help me with my math homework," type insult. Not taken seriously.

OK, so any question, put 'em in a review or email me or Emily. That's really all I think I needed to say…Oh and here are Emily's replies to the reviews as well as my own. Emily = Italics Abby = Bold, got it?

Hey ppls! Emily here, answering reviews, because SOMEONE doesn't know how to (don't kill me Abby!) (Cough, -hides dagger behind back- I wasn't going to…). We also accept story suggestions(recommendations is a better word. If you've read a good FanFic or have one of your own tell us and we'll go check it out.), expecially time travel, as long as I haven't read it. But I probably have. :)(Yes, Emily reads a lot of time travel FanFics. I like anything with either time travel or alternate dimensions. Or Marauder Era Fics. I love those Marauders. Especially Remus…)

Well, here I go...

hp20dance- THANK YOU! And I hope its not a ' I-dont-care-just-read-my-fic' thing! Good fic btw.

RedRaspberry - oh ya, go Rose. um... wait. You've never read the night Lily & James die thing! where have you been living?! Sorry, I always see them.

Siri Lupin- You had better keep reading shakes fist. Wait…reads list, I can't do that. Stupid Abby and things I can't do... (Lol, it's a good list. A very good list.)

froggy girl- THANK YOU SAM! Well, I guess i'll see you in September. I'll try to remember my rubix cube. (If she doesn't bring it you have my permission to kill her, -smirks-)

I'm not the weakest link- good?! Is that it? I would like more! Ways to improve... ways to kill Abby...did I write that? (-Glares-)

Well, thats it. REVIEW! you shound know how! Little purple button. Walks out muttering about stupid so-called-friends (Who me? Friend? What? Have you had enough sugar lately, ole buddy ole pal?)

My turn!

Luna Moonglade – Updating? What do I look like, someone who doesn't slack off? Lol. ANYWAYS (I use that word too, except I use that beautiful seven letter little word, variety, by alternating between anyways, anyhow and anyhoo), thanx so much for reviewing! I'm glad you like it. Us Canadians have to stick together, eh? I don't really have a timeline either, just a bunch of random ideas of what will happen -looks for corner to sob in, realises the room is circular, growls angrily- hey, your not allowed to guess who's whose daughter and get the right answer! Dangit…aw well. Yay, I get spoilers for your FF! Lol, James was probably cutest from the movie, but Sirius has been rotting in Azkaban for the past, what, decade or so, lol. And Remus with a moustache is just weird…lol GO SWING MUSIC! AND CHOCOLATE! Real family portrait? I had no idea what you were talking about there. But do you mean the symbolamajigger with the moon and paw prints? See if you can guess what Abby is. No one in this fic is a full blooded human, lol. At least none of the characters I made up! I answer my own questions too, lol. And Emily read your review and is very pleased (smug is a better word, lol, don't kill me Emily!) with your take on her character. And all great authors/ff writers are out of whack…or is it just us Canadians? Heh, I dunno. Lol, I absoloutely ADORE Canadian jokes. They are HILARIOUS! Living in an igloo…I WISH! So I couldn't resist using some, lol. "Running water? No, there's a running moose, though." Is a good one too. I usually like Malfoy, but I felt like giving him a hard time. And I always like making fun of someone for using a James Bond quote unintentionally. Sugar deprived eh? I'm sleep depreived…zzzzzzzz…lol, but I have no idea how Thea and I started that thing, it is pretty funny though, screaming out "OMG I know you!" and getting all the normals to stare at you like you're crazy…which you are, lol. Wow, this is a really long reply…cool. This chapter has really no affect on the plot or anything, just a filler chapter really. Ah well. Keep reading!

Anyoumuos – I think its splet (lol) anonymous. But Emily found a newspaper article that said the title of the sixth book was Harry Potter and the Half Blooded Prince. Its all very interesting if you ask me. Oh and I did know that HP and the Green Flame Torch was a rumored title, 'cause that's why I chose it, lol.

I'll try to update again soon! -eyes Emily warily- What are you doing with that frying pan? -BANG!- OW!

Lol, Bye!

Abby - July 4, 2004