Title: Dear Boy
Writer: Azure K Mello
Part: (10/?)
Rest can be found here:
Thanks for all the feedback!!
Challenge/plot bunny by Angela (who likes her new hair colour), who wanted chipped Spike interacting with human Darla and for Angel to swoop in playing our golden boy's brooding knight!
Not Beta-ed
Setting: After Angel's Untouched and set during Buffy's Crush which has been moved up in the time line as Dru went straight to Sunnydale and was never in LA.
Rated R
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do."
- Philip Larkin
"Why are you here?" asked Spike again as Angel helped him into the rented room. "How did you know to come?"
"I killed Darla a few years ago. A law firm brought her back. She came to me every night and tried to change my memories as I slept. Memories of when she would leave us alone and I was able to treat you right, when I could love you without fearing her. And she would get so angry every night when I fought her and wouldn't let her take those nights away from me. And one night I woke up and found her there in my bed. I was so scared. Even as a human she still scared me as much as she did back then. So I was told Cordelia about those days, when we were happy. I told her about failing you. And then she told me that you had been sired by Dru. She told me that you told Buffy that Dru made you. And then with slight threatening she told me you were here. Darla was MIA and I figured that she must have found out where you were. And I ran here as fast as I could. Why didn't you come to me? Why did I have to find out from a cheerleader?"
"I didn't think you would care." Spike picked at the bedspread and drank his cold blood.
"Well that makes sense. I mean it excuses you for not calling. But why did you swear everyone else to secrecy? Did you just not want to be proved right?"
After a long silence Spike said, "I told the whelp not to tell the prom queen, knew she'd be the weak link."
"Do you really doubt me so much? I thought you knew me better than that."
Laughing Spike said, "I don't know *you* at all. I haven't known you since the night you came home all soul having."
"My soul? So that's what this is about? You don't think I'm your sire because I have a soul?"
"It had nothing to do with your soul. You know I would have followed you into hell just to be with you!" he shouted and then took a breath into his ruined lungs before saying calmly, "Remember when you were human and you liked someone? Remember those pacts you made with yourself? Ya know, if the girl throws her head a certain way she loves you. Or, if she looks into your face for more then three seconds it means that she wants to mother your children?" Angel nodded silently. "I told myself that if you chose me over her, just once, that you loved me." Angel listened with a slightly confused look. "I saw you, Angel. I'm not blind." Angel on continued with his blank expression, "I saw you, that night, standing outside and watching. I thought I was going to die and you just watched."
"It wasn't that close," Angel defended himself softly and weakly.
"Well I thought it was! I was scared and I wanted my sire there. I was still a fledgling! I was twenty years old and yet I was still a fledge! You kept me a fledge. I could barely feed without you. You crippled me and made me to be completely dependent on you and then you just up and left!"
"I'm so sorry, Will."
"I tried so hard!" Spike said, now on a roll. His accent was pure upper crust, his affected drawl was left in the dust of his raw passion. All of his emotions had thrown him into a tailspin. His body was shattered, had hadn't fed for days and then glutted. Words wouldn't stop falling out of his mouth, "I tried to be the perfect childe. I tried so hard to prove myself over and over again. But I was never good enough. The four of you used me as a boot scraper. And I let you! Hoping that it would be enough, that you would see what a good boy I was being." Little boy tears fell down his face caused by the little boy hurt.
Angel slowly wrapped his arms around Spike and purred with his chest against the young vampire's back, "You *were* good. You *are* good. You didn't need to do anything. You were perfect even when you were human."
"Then why?" asked Spike tiredly as he leaned against Angel's rumbling frame, "You left me there with her, you tried to kill me at parent/teacher night."
"I was afraid of her."
"You could've taken her," Spike said petulantly, "You were strong."
Laughing softly Angel said, "You saw me as strong. But I wasn't that old myself. And Darla's ancient. If you and I had a real fight who'd win?"
"You," Spike said grudgingly.
"Why?"
"Because you're my sire and I'll never be able to outclass you."
"Exactly. If she had known how much I loved you she wouldn't have *let* you die. She would have tortured you for a hundred years. I was trying in a warped way to protect you. But the only person my act fooled was you." Angel sighed and tightened his grip around his boy, "And you were the one person who never should have fallen for it. I've always loved you. You're the only person I loved. Dru was sweet and dear to me. Penn made me proud. And Darla just scared the wit out of me. Remember when it was just us? God I loved to watch you smile. I hated it when you looked hurt, or confused. You should have known that you were my whole world. And then, that night, you told me to fuck off and I knew that you had actually fallen for it. I fucked you up. There was never any need for you to be anything other than you. You were my childe, that's all you needed to be." He smiled slightly, "And as for back to school night, are you dead?"
"No."
"Then was I trying to kill you?"
"No." Spike smiled a tiny smile.
"Of course not." Angel ran his hand through Spike's blood matted hair. He ghosted his finger's over Spike missing ear. The wound had healed and he felt a slight bump, "Hey, you're getting a new ear already! You'll be fine by morning. That's great!"
Looking down at his slowly healing fingers Spike asked a question in his Oxford English accent, "And then you'll go?"
"I'm not going anywhere without you." Angel started to carefully undress his childe. He took stock of each of Spike's wounds and catalogued them for later. None were bleeding and he thought it was best to let them just air. Setting bones is never easy but Spike had at least ten small fractures and all of his ribs were smashed in. Angel did it all as tenderly as possible. He murmured apologies and kept purring. He slipped Will under the covers and went to grab the blood out of the hot water he had filled the bathtub with earlier. He poured some into an over filled mug and brought it back to bed. But When he came back into the room Spike was already asleep.
Writer: Azure K Mello
Part: (10/?)
Rest can be found here:
Thanks for all the feedback!!
Challenge/plot bunny by Angela (who likes her new hair colour), who wanted chipped Spike interacting with human Darla and for Angel to swoop in playing our golden boy's brooding knight!
Not Beta-ed
Setting: After Angel's Untouched and set during Buffy's Crush which has been moved up in the time line as Dru went straight to Sunnydale and was never in LA.
Rated R
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do."
- Philip Larkin
"Why are you here?" asked Spike again as Angel helped him into the rented room. "How did you know to come?"
"I killed Darla a few years ago. A law firm brought her back. She came to me every night and tried to change my memories as I slept. Memories of when she would leave us alone and I was able to treat you right, when I could love you without fearing her. And she would get so angry every night when I fought her and wouldn't let her take those nights away from me. And one night I woke up and found her there in my bed. I was so scared. Even as a human she still scared me as much as she did back then. So I was told Cordelia about those days, when we were happy. I told her about failing you. And then she told me that you had been sired by Dru. She told me that you told Buffy that Dru made you. And then with slight threatening she told me you were here. Darla was MIA and I figured that she must have found out where you were. And I ran here as fast as I could. Why didn't you come to me? Why did I have to find out from a cheerleader?"
"I didn't think you would care." Spike picked at the bedspread and drank his cold blood.
"Well that makes sense. I mean it excuses you for not calling. But why did you swear everyone else to secrecy? Did you just not want to be proved right?"
After a long silence Spike said, "I told the whelp not to tell the prom queen, knew she'd be the weak link."
"Do you really doubt me so much? I thought you knew me better than that."
Laughing Spike said, "I don't know *you* at all. I haven't known you since the night you came home all soul having."
"My soul? So that's what this is about? You don't think I'm your sire because I have a soul?"
"It had nothing to do with your soul. You know I would have followed you into hell just to be with you!" he shouted and then took a breath into his ruined lungs before saying calmly, "Remember when you were human and you liked someone? Remember those pacts you made with yourself? Ya know, if the girl throws her head a certain way she loves you. Or, if she looks into your face for more then three seconds it means that she wants to mother your children?" Angel nodded silently. "I told myself that if you chose me over her, just once, that you loved me." Angel listened with a slightly confused look. "I saw you, Angel. I'm not blind." Angel on continued with his blank expression, "I saw you, that night, standing outside and watching. I thought I was going to die and you just watched."
"It wasn't that close," Angel defended himself softly and weakly.
"Well I thought it was! I was scared and I wanted my sire there. I was still a fledgling! I was twenty years old and yet I was still a fledge! You kept me a fledge. I could barely feed without you. You crippled me and made me to be completely dependent on you and then you just up and left!"
"I'm so sorry, Will."
"I tried so hard!" Spike said, now on a roll. His accent was pure upper crust, his affected drawl was left in the dust of his raw passion. All of his emotions had thrown him into a tailspin. His body was shattered, had hadn't fed for days and then glutted. Words wouldn't stop falling out of his mouth, "I tried to be the perfect childe. I tried so hard to prove myself over and over again. But I was never good enough. The four of you used me as a boot scraper. And I let you! Hoping that it would be enough, that you would see what a good boy I was being." Little boy tears fell down his face caused by the little boy hurt.
Angel slowly wrapped his arms around Spike and purred with his chest against the young vampire's back, "You *were* good. You *are* good. You didn't need to do anything. You were perfect even when you were human."
"Then why?" asked Spike tiredly as he leaned against Angel's rumbling frame, "You left me there with her, you tried to kill me at parent/teacher night."
"I was afraid of her."
"You could've taken her," Spike said petulantly, "You were strong."
Laughing softly Angel said, "You saw me as strong. But I wasn't that old myself. And Darla's ancient. If you and I had a real fight who'd win?"
"You," Spike said grudgingly.
"Why?"
"Because you're my sire and I'll never be able to outclass you."
"Exactly. If she had known how much I loved you she wouldn't have *let* you die. She would have tortured you for a hundred years. I was trying in a warped way to protect you. But the only person my act fooled was you." Angel sighed and tightened his grip around his boy, "And you were the one person who never should have fallen for it. I've always loved you. You're the only person I loved. Dru was sweet and dear to me. Penn made me proud. And Darla just scared the wit out of me. Remember when it was just us? God I loved to watch you smile. I hated it when you looked hurt, or confused. You should have known that you were my whole world. And then, that night, you told me to fuck off and I knew that you had actually fallen for it. I fucked you up. There was never any need for you to be anything other than you. You were my childe, that's all you needed to be." He smiled slightly, "And as for back to school night, are you dead?"
"No."
"Then was I trying to kill you?"
"No." Spike smiled a tiny smile.
"Of course not." Angel ran his hand through Spike's blood matted hair. He ghosted his finger's over Spike missing ear. The wound had healed and he felt a slight bump, "Hey, you're getting a new ear already! You'll be fine by morning. That's great!"
Looking down at his slowly healing fingers Spike asked a question in his Oxford English accent, "And then you'll go?"
"I'm not going anywhere without you." Angel started to carefully undress his childe. He took stock of each of Spike's wounds and catalogued them for later. None were bleeding and he thought it was best to let them just air. Setting bones is never easy but Spike had at least ten small fractures and all of his ribs were smashed in. Angel did it all as tenderly as possible. He murmured apologies and kept purring. He slipped Will under the covers and went to grab the blood out of the hot water he had filled the bathtub with earlier. He poured some into an over filled mug and brought it back to bed. But When he came back into the room Spike was already asleep.
