The X-Files: Mine

(Spoilers: takes place after "One Son" and before "Agua Mala")

By Damandabear 2

Chap. 1

How could I have been so trusting that she would always be available? I always assumed she would be my back up plan, but the truth is, there is no one else. I mean, sure, there are other women that I could be with. One of those women, I even thought I loved in a way. But she isn't the one for me. She isn't my soul mate…my best friend…my partner. She isn't…mine. How could I be so stupid?

"What's wrong?" asks a concerned voice…a gentle voice…a beautiful voice… "Mulder?"

Oh! "What makes you think anything's wrong?" I hurl, trying a little too hard to hide the coldness in my tone and the emptiness in my eyes. She looks at me skeptically and sits back in her chair. Her coat is folded neatly over her arm, and it appears she had been ready to walk out the door. Until now.

"Come on, Mulder. I know something is wrong, and I'm not going to leave until you tell me."

You promise? Knowing full well that she wants to go, I do not have the heart to keep her any longer than necessary. She has a date, and I know she would like to go home and get ready for it…even if I do want her to stay. "I was thinking about your birthday," I lie.

"My birthday?" She squints at me as though she doesn't understand. "But, Mulder, my birthday isn't for another"

"Month," I interrupt. "I know."

"Why now?"

"What?"

"Mulder, in the last six years I have known you, you have remembered my birthday once."

"Twice, actually," I correct her. "I have a pattern…I told you that," I grin. She grins back.

"Yeah, dog years," she smirks, "but your pattern is inconsistent…so, why now?"

I rock in my chair, trying to come up with something to say, my grin fading fast. "Actually, I was thinking how it's a shame I won't get to celebrate it with you this year. I guess I should have celebrated it with you more often when I had the chance, huh?" By now, the tone of my voice is pitiful, but oh well.

"What makes you say that?" she wonders, grabbing my hands in hers on the desk.

"Well, I'm sure you'll want to spend your birthday with…what's-his-name," I pout. "You've only been dating for…what? Three weeks now? Sounds serious." Part of me wants to ask how serious they are, or rather, how far they have gone. It's not that I think Scully would move so quickly, but look at her! How could any guy that is dating her not try to…? I guess she would have no reason to wait…if she loves him.

She smiles smugly to herself before returning to her compassionate gaze…it meeting my bleak one. "His name, Mulder, is Tom, and I'm not even sure it will last until then." This spark of hope seems to have been just strong enough to light my fire of interest. I rub my thumb across her hand, saying, I'm sorry, but my eyes say, please do tell. She rolls her eyes and glances at her watch. "Listen, I'm going to be late for dinner if I don't get out of here within the next couple minutes, so can we talk about this later?"

Letting out all my air with an exaggerated shrug, I reply, "Okay." Then sucking the air back in, I wish her a good weekend. Not too good. The moment she leaves the office, I feel more alone than I have ever felt in my life. I really blew it last week, didn't I? I look at the clock and realize I can go now, too.

Chap. 2

Knock! Knock! The door opens, and Diana is standing in front of me. "Fox?"

"Can I come in?" I ask. She steps to the side and ushers me into the living room. "We need to talk," I drone, knowing that will automatically prepare her for bad news.

"Okay," she responds cautiously. "May I ask what about?"

"Us."

Her eyebrows scrunch together questioningly and then relax. "Is there an 'us,' Fox?"

"That's what we have to talk about." There is a long moment of silence, but I end it by clearing my throat loudly. "What is it that you want?" I ask. "To pick up where we left off? I don't think I can do that." She remains silent and takes my hands in hers. "I mean, sometimes I think I want to, but…"

"You said you loved me."

"Not in so many words, but I guess I did. Then, I let you kiss me. But, Diana, I need to talk to you about that. I can't be with you. The fact of the matter is I do love you, but not in the way you want me to, and even that is only because we have history."

"Only because we have history?" she echoes. "I don't understand. I thought we…I thought you…"

"And it's my fault that you thought that," I whisper. "I'm here to set the record straight."

"It's her, isn't it?" she huffs. "Why? She doesn't even stand up for you or believe the things you believe. I do both. I will always be there for you, Fox."

"You've got it all wrong, Diana. She does stand up for me. If it hadn't been for her loyalty and her faith in me, the X-Files would be long gone by now, and I hate to even imagine where I would be. She stands up for me all the time. And unlike many," I go on, deepening my eye contact, "she continues to fight for me, help me, and have faith in me even when it puts her own career or life on the line. As far as not believing, I already told you. She just needs more proof than I do. She's a scientist. She cares about me and respects me more than anyone. While other people lie, cheat, and betray, she is loyal to me. She is the only person I can always trust. Even you have betrayed me at times, but she hasn't…and she never will."

"It's so ridiculous the way you romanticize her. She could never appreciate you the way I do."

"Well, I've said what I came to say. I just thought you have the right to know. I'll see ya later."

"Fox, I'm sorry. Please don't go. Please?"

I jerk my hands out of hers and push my way to the door. She's wrong. She is so wrong.

Chap. 3

I know she isn't home yet; it's only 7:30, and dinner probably only begun at six. But she should be on her way home. I hope. God, I hope. I pull a ring of my few keys from my coat pocket and select the one that opens her apartment door. Letting myself in, I immediately hear water running in the bathroom. What? I walk to the bathroom door to find steam rising from the bottom. "Scully?" I ask into the door.

"Mulder?" comes her startled voice. The water quiets for a moment, and the door opens. "Is something wrong?" Seeing her hide her naked body behind the door causes me to turn away…however, not before sneaking a quick glimpse in the mirror first.

"I just wanted to talk to you, but to be honest, I wasn't expecting you to already be home."

"Well," she sighs, grabbing her towel off the counter and wrapping it around her body, "the date ended a bit earlier than I had anticipated. I thought I'd go to bed early tonight. Start fresh tomorrow."

"Want to talk about it?" I offer, turning to face her again.

She seems hesitant. "Actually, I haven't washed my hair yet…but if you want to come inside"

"Okay," I chirp, swallowing my excitement just in time.

In her usual way, she raises her eyebrows at me, but lets me in despite it. I toss my coat over the toilet lid and sit on it. It is a little hotter than I thought it would be and loosen my tie until it's just draped around my neck. Scully gets back in the shower and closes its mosaic - like, sliding glass…somewhat see - through…door. After tossing her towel at me from inside, she restarts the water. "Anyway," she begins, her voice muffled by the shower and echoing off of the bathroom walls, "I was the one who…ended it."

Obviously. "Why?" I ask, trying my best to sound sympathetic.

"I don't know, really. It just didn't feel right. Don't get me wrong. He is a great guy, and very, very good-looking." My heart falls at the thought of my Scully looking at other guys. "Actually, in every respect, he is theoretically perfect for me. He's nice, smart, available, hansom, and tall. I like tall men. I know what you're thinking. I'm too short to make that something I look for in a man. But it sure is sexy."

Sexy? Wow! Just hearing her say the word is arousing. "Scully, that's not what I think at all."

"Thank you," she hums. "Well, what do you think?"

What do I think? I think I'm tall. I think you're too good for him. I think I've made a mistake by not telling you how I feel. I think you have the most gorgeous body I've ever seen, especially naked. "I think I'm ready to hear why you dumped him. After all, you are making him sound like a real catch."

"Well, he is…just not for me. When I look at him, I don't see a man I could imagine being with for the rest of my life. And I figured, why waste my time with a guy I don't even have chemistry with? Right?"

Right.

"Mulder?"

"Oh…right! Of course. Definitely."

"So, I guess that's that in a nutshell." A second later, I hear the water shut off.

"So, what now? Back on the prowl for Mr. Right? Mr. Chemistry?" I wonder.

"I guess…Mulder, can you hand me that towel?" I look over at the towel and back at her hand, which she has slipped out of the shower door just barely.

"I'm sorry," I tease, "but I'm not a towel boy. I believe you will have to get it yourself."

"Nice try, Mulder."

Yes, it was a nice try, I muse as I grab the towel and hand it to her. "Scully?"

"Yeah?"

"Mr. Chemistry?"

"Oh, right. Uhm, I guess so." She gets out of the shower and leaves the bathroom in search for something to wear. Ah, a robe she has set out on her bed. How 'sexy.' "After all," she grins, putting the robe on over the towel, "I'm not getting any younger, as my mother continues to remind me." From behind, I watch the towel fall to her feet from beneath the burgundy, silk robe. Oh, man, I mouth as a shiver runs down my spine. "So," she sighs, leading me into the front room. "What is it you want to talk to me about?"

That is a really good question. Oh…I remember. "Well, a lot of things, actually. But for some reason, I don't think this is the best time for that."

"Why?"

Because I'm running low on willpower when it comes to you, and I don't want to do anything you might regret later. "Because you aren't feeling your best after tonight's events."

"Oh, Mulder, don't even worry about that. The truth is I feel very…unaffected by the whole thing. So, really. What's up?"

If you insist… "Well, I wanted to talk to you about how I have been acting the past couple weeks."

"Oh?" She seems a little uncomfortable and readjusts her position on the couch. "Okay."

"I need you to know that, no matter what, I will always trust you…even if it doesn't always seem that way." By her confused expression, I can tell she isn't sure if she should be worried. I can't blame her. "I am not perfect. My judgment gets clouded sometimes, especially when Diana is involved. I won't deny we have history, and I can't erase it. Nor can I erase the feelings I used to have for her, or the feelings I will always have for her to some degree. But even she isn't someone I can always trust. Not like you."

"Does this mean you aren't mad at me anymore for doing that background check on her?"

"Yeah. That's exactly what it means. Like I said, I can't erase what we had, and a very small part of me doesn't want to. But I also want you to know I'm not in love with her anymore. I never really was."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because you have always been there for me. You have always been the one person I could believe and rely on to tell me the truth…to look out for my best interests…to want me to succeed." I take her hands in mine, and in that second, I feel a strange connection to her I have never felt before. She is the one. She is meant for me. She is mine, and I want to be hers, as well. "I want to be able to return those gestures, not only because it's fair or expected, but because I…" I bite my lip nervously.

"What?" she pushes gently, squeezing my hands ever so slightly.

A tear travels down my cheek, but I don't notice until she wipes it away, leaning close enough that I can smell the soap on her skin and the floral scent of her loose - fitting robe. "I want to," I finish.

She smiles and pulls me into an awaited hug. "You want to be the one I can always trust?" I nod into her neck. "Oh, Mulder," she whispers, "you already are."

The urge to push her down onto the couch and the knowledge that the only material separating her perfect body from my gaze is her robe are becoming overwhelming, so I force myself to stand. It is moments like this when I can't decide whether I want more willpower or less. It seems like the more I have, the more I wish I had none. "Thank you," I tell her as she stands to walk me to the door.

"Dinner ended before we were really finished eating, so I was just about to make something. Are you hungry?" A gulp that I know is noticeable travels down my throat, and she jumps to add, "I'd have to get dressed first, of course…but if you're interested, I'd love the company."

"Are you offering to cook for me, Scully?" I tease, trying to calm my rapid pulse.

"Mulder, I have been eating probably a good seventy percent of all my meals at your place for the past few months. Isn't it only fair that I finally cook for you?"

The fact that she has been spending more time at my apartment than usual isn't new to me. I mean, for goodness sakes, I was there, too. But hearing her say it makes me realize just how close we have really gotten this year. And somewhere, deep down inside me, I know it won't be long. I love her. I love her more than I have ever loved anyone or anything in my entire life, and I can tell the feeling is mutual. If I were a betting man, I'd bet that we will be together by this time next year. Hell, if I had it my way, we'd be together by this time tomorrow. "Sure," I answer. With a sly grin, I add, "You can cook for me anytime you want, Scully." She giggles and pulls my hand to her side. She walks me back to the couch, where she sits me down, and leans down in front of me. For a short second, I glance down the collar of her robe, but I look back up before she can notice. Every nerve in my body is vibrating with pure desire.

"Do you have any requests?" she asks, still holding my hand.

"What?" I manage to choke. Requests? I have plenty of requests. The first one being

"For dinner," she answers, interrupting my thought.

"Oh." I knew that sounded too good to be true! "Something simple."

"Okay. How does spaghetti sound to you?"

"Spaghetti sounds perfect. In fact, while you undress I mean get dressed " I correct quickly, my hand rushing to cover my, now, red face, "I'll get it started." I don't dare to look up, but then I hear her giggle at my flub.

"Is that what you were thinking, Mulder?" she teases.

So much for willpower, I deem inwardly when I get caught in her eyes. My expression must be serious because hers turns serious, as well. "Would it make you angry or uncomfortable if it was?"

"No," she whispers. Slowly, she comes close to my face and kisses me. My eyes close as she does, and I feel her body push into mine. Her kiss is passionate and increasingly powerful. I hear the quiet shuffle of her robe and feel it fall to my feet. Her hands are holding me close to her mouth and pushing me down to the couch all at once. Yep. Definitely so much for willpower. She is practically lying on top of me when I roll over and send her to the bottom. I've been dreaming of this for a long, long time. I know exactly how I want everything to go.