Disclaimer: Hikaru no Go does not belong to me, not even the least... (sob) It must be noted that some scenes from this fic are taken from the series itself, but written out by me here... hmmm... so does it still belong to me?


This is the last chapter! Please do review. Honestly, I was quite sad about not having many reviews for the last chapter, but thanks to two of you who reviewed, I managed to continue my work on this fic. Anyway, I would like to thank all who of you who had ever reviewed, even if it was only once, to have encouraged and motivated me (because every single review meant a lot to me). All of you have been really great! Without you, I wouldn't be too sure if I could have completed this fic.

Well, so much with my 'speech'... This chapter would be the end of the story. Hope you enjoy and please do read my future fics, that is, of course, in the future. So, it's time for the story and see ya! (Jumps off after pushing the fic right into your face)


My Heart Within

IX. Holding onto Memories


Where light is around, brightness will be;

Where you are around, I will always be...


I gradually opened my eyes to the brightness of the day, only that it was not really the day... Everywhere was shimmering with blue and yellow lights—it was lovely. I looked around and though I could not see the end of this desolated area, I was not feeling scared, perhaps because there was the feeling of warmth that I knew and like...

I took a look at myself and was mildly surprised as I noticed myself wearing my casual home clothes and shoes which I had not worn for a long time. Somehow, I then knew that I was in a dream. Sometimes, I could tell if I was in a dream, so this must be one of the rare occasions that it had occurred. I smiled to myself, hoping that something good happens in the dream as the familiar feeling of warmth grew stronger.

Something caught my eye and I slowly turned towards it. It was a familiar figure... the one I had missed so much, the one that I love dearly. As her features became clearer, I felt myself having a heartwarming sensation.

"Mum!" I called and she glowed at me soon after seeing me.

There was a few seconds of silence in which I gazed at her, my mind suddenly filled with the many things I had wanted to tell her—the things which I had to tell her so that she would not be worried.

"Mum, did you know? I've been getting very good grades recently and my teacher said that if I continue doing so, I could get into a good senior high school! And Dad, he's been working really hard and had managed to get a promotion! He had also become more concerned about me now, and we had grown much closer! And Hikaru, who I'd thought to have lost touch with during the previous years, had actually become my close friend again!"

I breathed and said slowly, "Mum... so much had happened since you left... Where have you gone to...? I really missed you!" I took a few steps forward and held her hands. "Mum, are you happy now?" I asked anxiously and she smiled at me again, making me smile back unknowingly.

She suddenly turned to face her side, where there was a source of light. Her eyes were looking at somewhere far and distant. I was, for an instance, fearful—afraid that she would leave. "Mum...?" she turned back to me and smiled again, her eyes closing as she did so.

"Mum, are you going to leave?" I felt myself stepping forward to her as she slowly opened her arms as if to receive me for a hug. "Why haven't you talk a bit...?" and I felt myself fall into the arms of my mother's embrace. All this while when I was talking, she had remained silent and only beaming at me. "Mum, had your smile meant you had been happy...?"

I looked up at her as she continued to smile. I was looking at her closely, remembering her looks, the feelings of her and everything. "Mum, I really hope you have been happy, and will always do..." and I pulled her closer to me and hugged her, feeling the long lost feeling and savouring the warmth. Other than these, there was more to us holding together as I could almost feel her telling me, "Don't give up, my dear Akari..."

I did not know how much time passed, or notice the source of light growing brighter. Nevertheless, I subconsciously closed my eyes from the light that was becoming blinding. I could feel the weight of Mum growing lighter, fainter. As it did so, I held her even tighter, afraid of losing her, but knowing that all would soon be over...


I opened my eyes, this time no longer looking into a vast, bright area, but a small, dim room. I could hear the early birds just outside, singing their sweet melodies, but I paid no attention to them.

My mind was filled with the vivid dream. The feeling from the dream lingered in my heart and I felt myself already yearning for the warmth and love from Mum. My vision blurred and I felt hot tears rolling down the side of my face as I could distinctly feel the difference—the warmth and love that could never be replaced by just my warm blanket.

I put my arm on my face so that it covered my eyes. As I thought about the dream, I knew that it would be something that I will remember... forever...

I sat up after a few minutes and brushed away the tears. My eyes darted onto the spot on the table where I will look at every morning.

Many days ago, I would have seen it as just an empty spot for I denied myself of the sight of it; but now, I could see a family photo with three persons in it—Dad, Mum and me. It was the photo I love and treasure.

I pushed away my blanket, jumped down my bed, and walked briskly towards it.

I took the photo and cleaned the surface of the photo frame, then stared at it for a very long time.

Pulling back the curtains and holding the photo, I looked fixedly at the dim blue sky, remembering the times when all three of us had spent together, and reminiscing the times when Mum was still around...


After school, I decided to go to the Science Laboratory where we had our Go practices. Since the year threes no longer have to attend the Go practices so as to prepare themselves for the senior high school entrance examination, it would mean that I probably would not be going there as often as before.

I walked passed the staff room, suddenly remembering the letter I had written for Ms. Minamoto. I stopped immediately and took the letter out of my bag, then entered the staff room and placed it on her table.

That was a letter which I had written to express all my thanks to her. She, as a teacher, had been most caring about me while I was down. It might have been rather impolite if I do not thank her.

I exited the staff room and made my way to the Science Lab. As I reached the door of it, I could hear voices within and was taken aback when I pulled back the door and found all the Go club members present, including Mitani, who was most frequent in skipping practices.

All of them shouted warm welcomes to me and Kaneko said, "Come in and sit down, what're you standing there for?"

Being somewhat stunned, I regained myself and walked in, asking, "Why are all of you here?" as I had expected the Science Lab to be empty.

"No one has any idea why," Kumiko stated. "We just found all of us here without having agreed to meet beforehand."

"How interesting, isn't it?" Natsumi said eagerly. "Now we could even play a few matches before we officially leave the Go club!"

"Yeah, and that would be our present for little Koike before we leave—some training for him to become a better leader next time!" Kaneko exclaimed, and giving Mitani a look of disapproval, she added, "And you! Why did you come here if you're going to keep quiet all the while and give us that sulky look?"

"I didn't come here willingly, so don't ask me for a reason," and Mitani nodded at Natsumi, "he was the one who dragged me here." Mitani answered dully.

"I thought this might be the last time we're coming here." Natsumi quickly defended himself.

Koike suddenly sighed loudly, making everyone turned in his direction, "With all of you gone, I would be the only one left to this Go club... It'll have to close down..." he said sadly.

I beamed at him and said encouragingly, "That won't happen. The last time the Go club was started, it was by our senior Tsutsui, who did it all by himself. You will be able to do it too. It would be you who will own the Go club then."

"Really?" Koike said, quickly brightening up. "Can I really do that by myself? My own Go club?"

"Of course you can, you'll see when that day comes..."

We spent the next few hours playing Go and discussing about the Go club. It had been a long time since we had been together like this. I could tell everyone was enjoying it and that all of us would be missing the Go club when we leave, but it would not be a sad situation, for on recalling these happy times, each of us will then be smiling even before realising it.


After the Go gathering we had, I bade goodbye to all of the rest at our school's main gate and turned in the opposite direction. It was then did I noticed someone just few steps ahead, walking alone.

"Hikaru." I called, hoping that I was not disturbing him.

He turned around, frowning a bit and as he saw me, he grinned, "Hi, Akari."

"Am I interrupting your thoughts?" I asked in uncertainty and he shook his head, "Of course not."

He turned back and continued his walk as I caught up with him, noticing his expression becoming serious with a deep frown.

"Are you nervous about tomorrow's match against Touya Akira?" I asked, recalling what I had read in the Weekly Go magazine.

"Why do you say so?" Hikaru asked, not looking at me.

"...You looked rather scary..."

Hikaru laughed but said nothing. We walked for a few steps in silence before Hikaru suddenly asked, "Akari, are you free now?"

Surprised, I felt myself flushing a bit, "Huh? Oh yes... of course..."

"That's great!" Hikaru said truthfully, "can you come over to my house and play a few rounds of Go with me? Playing with you can make me feel less tense about tomorrow."

I stopped walking and thought about Hikaru in the past and comparing with him now... It was obvious he had become different... and I knew the exact reason for his change... It was Sai who changed him... greatly, and into a better person.

"Akari? What's wrong?" Hikaru had turned around when he realised that I had stopped walking.

Smiling, I said, "Hikaru, you've changed a lot... it feels like... you are much more matured now..."

He seemed indifferent about what I had just revealed to him, but said, "Then you must have changed too."

"Really?" I asked in anticipation, becoming interested to know how different I am from the past and running forward. "In what ways?"

"You've become shorter."

It was a moment before comprehension dawned on me and he grinned and dodged my fist as I shouted indignantly, "That's because you've grown taller!"

I chased after him for quite some distance, after which I finally stopped and sighed in resignation. Deep down, I was not in the least angry, in fact, I was happy.

"Hikaru...? ...thank you..." I said abruptly.

"Huh?" he stopped running and was looking confused.

"For helping me get up that time..." I said gently.

He smiled a bit and said, "You helped me first, remember?" Turning away, he continued, "Furthermore, I wouldn't have been able to help you if you hadn't helped me, or helped yourself... But then, does this really matters now?"

I knew then that he was right. Afterall, did it really matter as to who helped who? No, it only matters that both of us were well then...

"It's getting pretty late... we'd better go..." Hikaru stated and for a moment I was really astonished as he held the wrist of my hand and pulled me, so that I followed him and that both of us were soon jogging on home—together.

I breathed in deeply while I ran, smelling in the fragrance in the air. As I looked at the orange-blue sky in the hours of the setting sun, I could not help but feel contented about being with Hikaru on the same way home, and more importantly, I fulfilling the promise I made to Mum...


Is my life about happiness? Or is it just emptiness?

I couldn't tell a bit at all, for a long way lies ahead of me, and only walking on would I find out...


The End