Title: Dear Boy

Writer: Azure K Mello

Part: (17?)

Thanks for all the feedback!

Challenge/plot bunny by Angela who wanted chipped Spike interacting with human Darla and for Angel to swoop in playing our golden boy's brooding knight. Ain't it hawwwwwwwtttttt?

Not Beta-ed

Setting: After Angel's Untouched and set directly after Buffy's Crush which has been moved up in the time line as Dru went straight to Sunnydale and was never in LA.

Rated R


Xander felt like he might break. He had written himself a list of "Don't" before leaving his apartment.

Don't beg him to stay.

Don't profess undying love.

Don't ask him to take you with him.

Don't ask him to turn you and stay with you for eternity.

Don't cling to him when it comes time to leave.

All in all he thought it was quite a good list. Now all he had to do was stick to it. But here he was in the Magic Box feeling, for all the world, like a spare prick at a wedding. Spike was his friend. But he'd never been a flowery goodbye type of man and he couldn't really see Spike as one either so the whole thing seemed a bit staged. He was just praying that Spike wasn't holding Angel's hand because he could not be held responsible for his actions if he did.

It wasn't that he was losing his could have been lover. He was losing Spike. Losing the only real guy friend he'd had since Jesse. Giles was a father figure and Oz was only Willows boyfriend, neither of them had counted. Spike had been his first male friend. And now he was leaving. Xander wanted to scream and rage and sit around in sweats for the next month straight. But he wasn't allowing himself that luxury. He was gonna be a grown up.

Buffy pulled Angel into the training room the minute that the two vampires arrived in the store. The scene confused Xander slightly but he said nothing as Spike sank down into the couch next to him. "Hey," said the blond.

"You look way better than when I last saw you."

Spike laughed breathily but Giles, having heard, said, "Dear lord, what did you look like before?"

"Worse," said Spike simply, pretty much ignoring the man. "I'm sorry that Angel told you I was going away, he hadn't even told me yet."

"Told you?" asked Xander feeling his temperature raising, "You have freewill, Spike!"

"Yeah," agreed the vampire softly.

"So tell him you don't wanna go!" the young man thought the answer was obvious.

"Xander, I'm sorry. I can't."

"Yes, you can."

Spike shook his head, "I want to go."

"Oh," Xander fell back in his seat having sat up to argue.

"After the attack, I was so scared. And I was too embarrassed to call you. I felt like such a tosser for being so easily hurt. And I didn't want you to see me as useless. If Angel hadn't of come I would've died."

"So what you're in debt to him? You're honor bound? When's that ever mattered?"

"No, I was frightened, and he's reminded me where I belong. This had nothing to do with you. 'M sorry." But it had everything to do with Xander and they both knew it. So they didn't speak for a moment and then Spike said, "I need yer help. You're gonna have to come out and stay with me."

"Yeah?"

"I want to subtly dye his body wash so that every time he showers he bathes he comes out of the shower just a shade blue. I think it would be interes'ing to see how long it takes him to figure it out."

"Well, it sounds like you're gonna need a second to help you."

"So you'd be interested?"

"Give me a call once you're settled in."

"And that's why we're mates."


Angel stared at Buffy after she pulled him into the makeshift gym. "What?" he asked confused beyond belief.

"They need a little while, Angel. . . How have you been?" the question caught him off guard and he wasn't sure how to answer. She stopped him by asking in a breathless rush, "You're sleeping with Spike? Why haven't you lost your soul? Have you lost your soul? Are you going to?"

"I've hurt him too badly to ever have a . . . soul losing moment."

"Oh."

"But I'm not sleeping with him."

"Oh. And you've never?"

"Oh, God, yes. We barely got out of bed for the first ten years of his life." He saw the shock on her face and winced, "Sorry, over share."

"Are you gonna?" she asked softly.

"I honestly don't know. He's my childe, and I love him dearly, but it's very complicated." He saw a shadow pass over her face and he said softly, "I turned him. Not Dru, he was trying to protect your opinion of me."

"Oh."

"I'm sorry you and your friends got caught in the middle of all this family business, it really shouldn't concern mortals, it's all to long winded and complex." He saw the hurt in her eyes and realized how his words could be seen as condescending but he had just meant them as fact.. . maybe that made the scene more condescending. "It's been going on for a hundred years," he added, "too much plot for a five minute discussion in a sparing room. I suppose all I can say in that I'm sorry. But thank you, for keeping him afloat until I could sort things out a bit. He's my childe and, I hope, you never understand how important he is to me, because the only way you could fully comprehend it would be for you to be turned and turn a childe of your own. I know that isn't the path you would ever want to lead. So let's just leave it at thank you." He gave her an awkward one armed hug.