Special thanks to my beta Becks89!
Thanks to:
Damia – Queen of the Gypsi's – all the tension between Buffy and Sirius will be explained in this chapter!
Becks89 – hey should be sending you the next chapter by the weekend! Thanks for the help with this one!
Goddessa39 – I'm not saying anything about pairings yet!
Calendar – I'm glad you think it's unique, that's what I was going for since there's so many amazing lost relative fics out there. I agree for you on the Dawn front, the situation is a bit dodgy. I came up with this idea and worked it through and Dawn was sort of an afterthought. Basically the link isn't too important; obviously their blood has to be somewhat the same for Buffy to have closed the portal but beyond that it's irrelevant, except for the fact that Buffy is Lily's sister but not Dawn's. You can imagine it in whatever way you want, know that's not great but I can't even think of unpicking my story to make it work. Hope that's okay.
Violet Star – There really is a plot waiting somewhere but it's not the normal kind of going to Hogwarts and beating Voldemort thing. The first half of this fic is more a getting used to each other thing with a few of the scoobies coming in. the second half will be more story based and there will be some LA stuff but I don't want to go too much into that right now. And here's the (sort of) prompt update!
Also: LizaGirl, CelticHeiressFiona, Lightdemondarkangel, The-tulip, Panther28, Isiwaru, Just me, Mama T, CoffeeJunkie33, General Mac, erak, vixen519, thorn of blood, silver warrior
Chapter 7
Harry stared at his godfather, stunned momentarily. His reaction was nothing compared to Buffy's shock and he had to poke her hard to get her to move from the doorway so they could enter and close the door. Harry was happy to see Sirius, there was no doubt of that, but he wasn't sure that Buffy would feel the same. And he was worried about Sirius' intentions.
"What are you doing here?" Buffy asked
coldly. Sirius grinned and put his feet up on the coffee table. Buffy walked
over, pushed them down and sat on the sofa facing him, her body tense.
"Thought you'd be happy to see me
Buffy," he said, ignoring her icy demeanour.
"How wrong you were," Buffy said
bluntly. "Why are you here?"
"I came to see my godson."
"You've seen him," Buffy said. "Now you
can leave."
"That's not very friendly," Sirius joked
but there was a hard edge to his voice.
"I'm not feeling too accommodating right
now," Buffy said. "Must be a side effect of my apartment being broken into."
"I wasn't breaking in," Sirius protested. "I didn't break anything at all. I was just….waiting for you to come home so I could see Harry."
Harry began to feel distinctly worried but he went and sat down next to Buffy. His godfather threw him an encouraging grin.
"I was in the area and thought I'd stop by," he said to Harry. Buffy snorted derisively.
"If by the area, you mean the continent," she muttered irritably. Sirius frowned at her.
"Nice place you've got here," he commented,
resting his arms along the back of the sofa luxuriously and placing his feet on
the coffee table once again.
"It's alright," Buffy replied
cautiously.
"Step up from Sunnydale," Sirius said, looking
round favourably. "Very nice indeed."
"There was nothing wrong with
Sunnydale," Buffy snapped. "And can you get your feet off of my coffee table,
please." Sirius obediently put his feet down and threw her a lazy grin.
"Living in style now I see," he continued
regardless. "Good thing. I wanted to make sure my godson was being looked
after." He paused and then went on recklessly. "Even if it is
by you."
"Are you doing everything in your power
to piss me off?" Buffy said bitterly. "You break into my apartment while I'm
with Harry whom I haven't seen for thirteen years, just because you decided to
come and see him. And then you insult me!"
"You haven't exactly been welcoming," Sirius shot back. "Thought you'd be happy to see a familiar face! But then you turned away from me a long time ago…"
"Get down off your high horse Sirius,"
Buffy snapped. "Do you think I really give a damn about seeing you or any of
the rest of you people? Harry is the only one I'm interested in seeing and I
had to wait thirteen years for it because your people are 'protecting him'!
Damn good job you've done of it, leaving him with Petunia. He's a lot better
with me than he has ever been with you…people!"
"You sound like Petunia," Sirius said
disgustedly, standing up. "It's easy to see the family resemblance. But then I
reckon Harry was probably better with even her than he is with you…."
"You left Harry with Petunia," Buffy
shot back. "That was nothing to do with me. Harry's doing great with me."
"Right, with you telling him how all his
friends are bad people and that we were the ones that
killed his mum and dad," Sirius retorted loudly. "Harry belongs in our world,
not yours."
"And it was your world that nearly got
him killed!" Buffy yelled. "A number of times! He
doesn't need that. I can keep him safe, I can protect him."
"And we can't?" Sirius shouted angrily.
"We're better for him than any muggle could ever be. He can't stay with you."
"He
can and he will," Buffy replied, looking for all the
world like she was about to throttle Sirius. "He doesn't need to go back to
that school anymore, he can stay with me. He doesn't want to have to take all
that crap that you lot have given him."
"Harry belongs at Hogwarts," Sirius
bellowed. "And you're not going to stop us from taking him back." Without
warning, he yanked his wand out of his pocket. Buffy stared at it, breathing
hard and then settled into a fighting stance.
Harry watched the scene escalate, mouth
slightly ajar in shock. When he saw Buffy and Sirius face off, he came to his senses
and hurried to put himself in between them. Although
he and Buffy weren't on the best terms at that point, she was still his family.
And although he didn't think Sirius was being particularly fair, he knew that
Buffy wasn't being exactly impartial herself.
"What are you doing?" he asked in
amazement. "Can I make some decisions
about my life please? Stop fighting!" Reluctantly, Sirius put away his wand and
Buffy relaxed.
"Both of you sit down," Harry commanded
and to his surprise they did as he told, looking at him like badly behaved
children.
"You two are the only family I've got so I
don't want you to fight," he told them severely, pacing in front of them like a
drill sergeant. "Buffy, I have to go back to Hogwarts; Sirius, I want to stay
here and come back next summer. I need you to compromise, you're both adults.
Is that too difficult to do?" They shook their heads shamefacedly. "Then
apologise to one another." They looked at him incredulously but he stayed firm.
"Hard to believe we were friends once," Sirius said eventually. "Remember?"
"I remember," Buffy murmured, biting her
lip. "It's been a long time." Harry looked between them disbelievingly.
"You two were friends?" he said
incredulously. "Are you kidding?" A faint smile appeared on Buffy's face.
"Sirius helped me out," she said to Harry, catching Sirius' eye briefly. "When I was in the Order back then I was having a tough time in Sunnydale. It was good to get away from that, even if it was just leaving one war for another. Sirius was someone to talk to."
"Do
you remember how Hagrid always used to joke that we were secretly seeing each
other?" Sirius said, shooting a grin at Buffy. Buffy chuckled.
"What he didn't know was that I was
pouring my heart out to Sirius about the love of my life back in Sunnydale,"
she said grimly.
"Okay so that's a start," Harry said firmly. He folded his arms. "Sirius, tell me about your favourite memory of Buffy."
Sirius gave him an incredulous look but he gazed back firmly.
"Erm…." He said thoughtfully, shooting a dark
look at Harry. "Well there was that one night, London, near the docks. Really
dodgy area but Buffy and I had been sent to hunt down this death eater that was
holed up in a warehouse down there. He wasn't one of the big boys but he had a team
of vampires and was taking out a lot of muggles and it was right up Buffy's
alley." Harry noticed Buffy watching Sirius with a pensive smile on her face.
"Dumbledore told us to take it slow but of course that wasn't us. We climbed up
on the roof, it had these giant glass panels and Buffy was inching across one
when it started to crack. She was right in the middle and the glass kept making
these groaning noises. And so I reach out my arm to her but she can't make it
and every time she moves the glass cracks more. So I lean farther and farther
over to her and just as I grab her arm the glass shatters and we both fall onto
the floor of the warehouse." He was smiling openly now, Buffy too.
"There was nothing we could do; we
landed right in the middle of this bloody great group of vampires and they were
all staring us licking their lips since a meal had just fallen out of the sky.
And so I start firing curses and Buffy leaps up and starts doing her slayer
bit. But there are twenty of them and we're backing up against a wall. And
Buffy looks at me quickly and before I can do anything she grabbed my arm and
threw the pair of us through a window! And the next thing I know, we're
swimming in the Thames!"
Harry looked at Buffy sternly.
"Now you tell me a good memory of
Sirius."
Buffy stared at Sirius for a few moments, leaning back on the sofa.
"When Angel lost his soul," she said
softly. "It had just happened and we had just figured out why. We'd killed this
big demon called the Judge and I'd fought Angelus. I could've killed him then
but when it came to it, I wasn't able to. I felt so trapped in Sunnydale; all
my friends knew what I'd done. So I went to England, to Lily's house. But Lily
wasn't there; she and James had gone out and had left Sirius babysitting. I was
gonna just go back to America but he convinced me to stay. And we talked and I
told him about what had happened and he just listened the way that only someone
who wasn't involved could. And it gave me strength to go back and fight. And I
did."
Buffy looked down at her hands and then up, meeting Harry's eyes.
"What?" she demanded. "I did as you
told."
He grinned at her.
"I know, I kinda like the power," he
said mischievously. "Now tell me why you aren't friends."
Buffy looked at Sirius who shrugged.
"You left," he said flatly. "And I got
put in Azkaban. There wasn't much point after that."
"Even if I had stayed, how would I have
helped you?" Buffy asked. "It's not like I could've spoken to you or even seen
you."
"I wasn't the only thing to stay for."
"No, you weren't. But you were one of a
lot of things that I'd lost that night. Angel, Lily, James,
you, Harry."
"You ran out on your responsibilities," Sirius said heatedly. Buffy
laughed bitterly.
"Sirius Black lecturing me on responsibility. Never thought
I'd see the day."
They lapsed back into a tense silence
until Buffy ventured to speak again.
"It
was hard okay?" she said staring determinedly at her hands. "I was a kid,
seventeen years old. And Dumbledore refused to give me Harry. There wasn't enough
for me to stay and watch my godson be brought up by
Petunia."
"Why did Dumbledore refuse?" Harry asked
tightly, forgetting about Sirius for a second. This was something he had been
wondering for a long time.
"Bullshit reasons," Buffy said harshly.
-
Buffy hesitated briefly to catch her breath
before thumping on Dumbledore's office door and then opening it immediately.
He looked up at her as she entered, a quill in his hand paused over the word he
had just written. His light blue eyes took in her dishevelled appearance and
flushed cheeks.
"Buffy," he said warmly. She knew that
he had been expecting her by the look in his eyes. "Sit down."
"I'd rather stand," she said coldly. She
didn't meet his gaze; his eyes were deep with understanding and right then she
didn't want to be understood. She had something to do and she had to be strong
to do it.
Dumbledore nodded graciously. "As you wish." He put
down his quill and leaned back in his chair, surveying her while she still
avoided his gaze.
"You know why I'm here," it wasn't a
question, but a statement. Dumbledore nodded slowly. She looked at him
suddenly, meeting his gaze. Stronger men than he would've quailed under the
rage in her green eyes but he met it without the expression on his face
changing.
"Where is my godson?" she demanded. She
was armed to the teeth and he knew it. He stood up and moved to the window.
Dawn was creeping over the hills, low rays of gold spilling out over the
countryside. A new day coming to meet them and wash clean all the darkness of
the night.
"He is at your sister's home,"
Dumbledore answered heavily, his back to her. "Hagrid delivered him there a few
hours ago."
"You sent him to Petunia?" Buffy asked,
her voice quivering with suppressed rage. "Are you out of your mind? Didn't you
read the will?"
Dumbledore watched the beautiful day
dawning before him for a few seconds longer and then he turned to face her.
"Harry will stay with Petunia, she will
raise him," he said levelly. "He will remain there until he is eleven and then
he will attend Hogwarts."
"Petunia won't take him," Buffy persisted,
staring at Dumbledore as if she didn't know him. "She always hated Lily."
"She will take him in," Dumbledore said
flatly. "I have made sure of it."
There was a pregnant pause where Buffy digested his words. He waited for the
anger that he knew would come.
"Where do you get off?" she snarled
furiously. "Lily wanted him to go to me or Sirius. And since Sirius is on his
way to Azkaban as we speak, he belongs with me."
Dumbledore didn't answer and this made her
angrier.
"It's not your decision!" she yelled
with all the force of her breath. "You can't control people's lives like this,
like you're some kind of God! You don't know anything!"
She wanted to hit him, to hurt him, to do
something to change the unfalteringly calm expression on his face. He sighed.
"Be that as it may, I cannot let you
take Harry. It is your sister's duty to take care of him now, not yours. I am
trying to what is best for Harry and he needs a home which you cannot provide
for him right now."
Buffy was so angry that she was unable to
speak for a few moments. She took a couple of deep breaths and regained her
composure somewhat.
"How dare you?" she burst out, her face reddening
with fury. "You know that I would lay down my life to protect him. I may be
only seventeen but I've proven time and time again that I can take on more than
my share of responsibility. I want him to live with me."
"And where will you live?" Dumbledore said heavily. "Do not think me ignorant of what happened yesterday. What kind of home can you give Harry when you have fled your own?"
The tears that had been plaguing Buffy for
hours threatened to fall again but she held onto them. She wanted that dignity.
"I'll find a way," she said through
clenched teeth.
"We
cannot take that risk," Dumbledore said gravely. "Your godson is precious. At
Petunia's he will remain safe until it is time for him to return to his roots.
It is not ideal but it is the best possible place for him now."
Buffy turned away, fists clenched tightly at her sides.
"Please," she said brokenly, staring at
the door, a few tears escaping. "He's all I have left."
She was surprised to feel a few moments
later, a hand resting on her shoulder. She turned and met Dumbledore's steady
gaze.
"I'm sorry," he said solemnly. "I know
there is nothing I can say, you must be suffering a great deal. I wish things
could be different."
"I've lost everything," Buffy said
detachedly
Dumbledore stared at her impassively.
"I
can offer you sanctuary here," he said finally. "For as long as it takes for
you to return home or to find another path. Stay with the Order and I will help
you with all means."
"And then I can take Harry?" Buffy
murmured. Dumbledore dipped his head.
"Harry remains with Petunia," his said
gently. "He stays in England. You have a rocky path ahead of you, one that will
not accommodate a baby and certainly not a child like Harry."
Buffy shifted, removing her shoulder from
his grasp and stared at him coldly.
"I'm not staying here to be controlled
by you," she said fiercely. Dumbledore nodded as if he expected it.
"I wish there was another way but I have to do what's best for Harry."
"I'm
what's best for Harry," Buffy hissed furiously. She
turned away sharply. "I put my life on the line fighting for you people, giving
what I could when I could, even though I was striking out time and time again
trying to get things right in Sunnydale. You never helped me, when my friends
were being killed by Angelus, you never offered to help me, you just let me
come here and take out Death Eaters for you. I gave everything I could and you
gave me nothing back." She turned back to him. "And now you're denying me the
last thing I have left in my life."
He went to speak but she held up a trembling hand.
"Stay away from me Albus," she said
coldly. "Don't come to me again; don't call on me to do you any favours, I owe
you nothing. Stay away from me and stay away from my life. I don't want to know
about Harry, I don't want to know about Voldemort. Any of your people come any
where near me and I'll kill them."
She strode across to the door and kicked it open.
"Buffy-"
She paused momentarily and then strode out.
-
"I would've done anything to keep you," Buffy said hollowly. "You were the last thing I had. But he took that away from me and so I left."
Harry stared at her, his mouth dry. He
couldn't understand why Dumbledore would've done that after all Buffy had been
through. He had been prepared to put the blame on Buffy for abandoning him but
he had never really believed that Dumbledore would've refused to give him to
her. But apparently he had.
"Where did you go after that?" Sirius
asked. Buffy looked at him sharply as if she had forgotten he was there.
"LA. I worked as a waitress for a while
but in the end I went back to Sunnydale. It was the right thing to do."
Sirius nodded silently. Buffy met his eyes.
"If I hadn't had to go to Azkaban, would
you have stayed?" Sirius asked quietly. Buffy stared at him for a long moment.
"Maybe," she said finally. "It would've
changed things. You were the best friend I had in England. Maybe I would've
stuck around."
Sirius nodded and she offered him a small smile. And suddenly things were
better. Only slightly but Harry could see some of the old friendship still
lingering between them.
-
It was a long evening. After things loosened up, the three of them talked and told stories, mostly Buffy and Sirius telling stories about the old days in the Order. Harry had stayed up as long as he could but by the early hours he was nodding off and was forced to go to bed, leaving Buffy and Sirius to talk by themselves.
"So how are you doing?" Buffy asked,
looking levelly at Sirius. "Not the censored for Harry version, but the real
version."
"I get by." He took a swig of beer.
"Remus has put me up a few times but I got to keep moving."
"Remus. How is he?"
"Not great," Sirius said flatly. "Having trouble getting a job. No one wants to hire a
werewolf." He regarded her for a long moment. "Aren't you going to ask about
Azkaban?"
"I didn't know if I was supposed to,"
Buffy said calmly. "But if you want – how was it?"
Sirius asked a short bitter laugh.
"Like living in hell.
Everyday a struggle to keep my sanity." He took another drink of beer and Buffy
watched him closely. He studied his hands intently. "And you know what the
funny thing is? Being outside is just the same sometimes." He looked up at her.
"My life stopped for twelve years and when I get out it's a different world. I
was 22 when I went in, now I'm 35. I stopped living but no one else did. In my
head, I'm still 22. But everything has changed; people have gotten older, I've
got older whether I lived those years or not. It doesn't feel like I'm living
sometimes, just that I'm a corpse that walks and talks. What place is there for
me in the world? What have I got left? Sometimes I wish I'd died beside them,
got out in a blaze of glory instead of living like I'm dead."
Buffy frowned slightly and then tentatively placed her hand on his. He looked
at her, mild surprise registering on his face.
"You've got Harry," she said gently. "He
needs you."
"He's got you now," Sirius said darkly.
"What use has he got for a wanted criminal who can't even give him a proper
home?"
"He barely knows me," Buffy interjected.
"And he looks up to you so much. You're the closest thing he's got to a father.
And….well...you've got me."
Sirius turned his hand so it was holding
hers. He looked down at their intertwining fingers.
"When are you coming home Buffy?" he asked quietly. Buffy looked away.
"I am home."
"This place?" Sirius said, looking
around him. "This isn't you. This isn't Buffy Evans."
"Well I'm not Buffy Evans am I?" Buffy
snapped, tugging her hand free of his. "This is my home now and my job. I have
work that I have to do."
She stood up and moved to the balcony, standing out in the cool night air and
resting her arms on the iron railings. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply,
the mixed scents of flowers, basil and warm bread filling her lungs. When she
opened her eyes, Sirius was next to her.
"It's not the same anymore," Buffy said
detachedly, not looking at him. "Even if I came home, it would just remind me
of that. I remember the way it used to be, Lily, me, you, James, Remus, my old
friends, half dead and the other half…"
"As good as," Sirius supplied wearily.
"And who am I to be part of that? The
people I knew are different, our youth is gone and all that's left is a bunch
of tired old people trying to fight for what we believe in. What's the point?"
"Harry is the point. He's what we're
fighting for." Sirius looked at her intensely. "It's not the same at all;
everything's changed for me too. Me and Remus, we're too old for this. Broken
by our friends' deaths. And you. What do you think your departure did for us?
You left without a trace, abandoned us."
"I
didn't have any choice."
"You had a choice," Sirius said darkly.
"You were running away. It was selfish."
"What did I have to stay for?" Buffy
asked defensively. "Nothing. Everywhere I turned there was death. You've seen a
dead body, you've felt how cold they are and how they look like the person you
knew but all they really are is a shell."
"There still was life," Sirius said
intensely. Buffy breathed heavily.
"Not for me. That part of my life is
finished and I don't want to deal with it now any more than I did then."
"It's not your past," Sirius
interjected. "It's who you are. Like it or not, you are Buffy Evans, Lily's
sister and Harry's godmother. The sooner you realise that the better.
-
