Thanks to my fab beta becks89!

Thanks to:

Lightdemondarkangel – hehe it's easy to dislike Dumbledore in my fic but that's not my intention. The view of him so far is coloured by Buffy's own opinions, he's not all bad and he's not mean either. Stuff will hopefully become clearer!

CelticHeiressFiona – as I just said above, the view of Dumbledore so far is kind of biased since its Buffy's view. He's by no means perfect but you might like him more later in this fic.

Just Me – this really isn't going to be a Buffy/Sirius pairing, I've done that a lot so I kind of want to branch out. There might be another Sirius appearance, I'm not entirely sure yet.

Shadows of Twilight – thanks, it's really nice when people make an effort to give you a long review. I'm trying really hard to keep these characters right, separate in their own rights but still intertwine their story lines. It's kind of easier to do the Hp verse since I'm English, so if I make any drastic American mistakes, call me on it. Hope you like what I come up with and thanks again for the review!

Ztacel – I do have a story plan but it's going to take a while to become clear, please just bear with me!

Silver Warrior – I'm sorry for the Dumbledore bashing, I truly love him to pieces. But the view I've presented of him has been Buffy's view so is understandably angry and resentful. But don't worry, he will appear better much later on and I do adore the character. He may meddle, but he knows what he's doing!

Mysticallove – lol thanks for the review but there will be no Sirius/Buffy pairing, I'm sorry but I've done that so much, I want to branch out. Buffy will be mellowing a bit later, just stick with the story and you'll see!

Also: Sukera, Vld, Damia - Queen of the Gypsi's, manticore-gurl071134

Chapter 8

Harry came out of his bedroom and walked across into the living room. He smiled to himself to see Sirius asleep on the sofa, a blanket covering him and his mouth slightly open. On the coffee table a number of empty beer bottles lay. Harry smiled again; they hadn't been drinking beer while he'd been with them which meant they must've been up for a while. And since neither of them were dead, he assumed it had gone successfully.

He gathered up the bottles and dumped them in the bin. He had just got himself a glass of juice when Buffy emerged from her room in her dressing gown, her hair tousled from sleep. She yawned widely then smiled at him sleepily.
"Sleep okay?" she asked, getting herself some juice and leaning against the counter. Harry nodded.

"You?" he asked. "What time were you up til'?"

"Don't know," Buffy murmured, stifling another yawn. "Late. Or early. We lost track of the time, talking about old stuff."
Harry nodded towards Sirius.
"Should I wake him?"
"No," Buffy said smiling softly. "Let him sleep. He looks peaceful."


It was several hours until Sirius was alive and kicking. Buffy had showered and dressed and then she and Harry had waited impatiently for him to wake. Eventually they resorted to talking at the top of their voices, making him wake with a start. They spent the rest of the day talking more, and Harry was thrilled to see that Buffy and Sirius were getting on like a house on fire.

"I'd better get going," Sirius said reluctantly as evening set in. Both Harry and Buffy frowned.

"You could stay longer," Buffy offered. He shook his head smiling.
"You need time with Harry," he said, mocking her gently with her own words. Buffy smiled wistfully.
Sirius hugged Harry tightly.
"Take care," he said, holding Harry by the shoulders. "If there's anything slightly amiss, you know where we are. And make sure you keep in touch."
Harry nodded and Sirius looked towards Buffy. He hesitated slightly but she came forward and hugged him.

"You keep in touch too," he said softly. "And take care of our godson."

Buffy nodded and kissed his cheek. He smiled at her and then before their eyes he transformed and padded out of the apartment.

Buffy closed the door behind him and turned to Harry with a smile on her face.

"It was good to see him," she said lightly. She grinned to herself then wandered over to the kitchen, opening the fridge. "Want some dinner?"
Harry nodded and sat down at the breakfast bar while she pulled things out from the fridge.
"You talked more about the past when he was here," Harry said, trying to keep his tone light. "About my mum and stuff."
Buffy's back was to him as she prepared the food.
"Oh….yeah I guess, it's easier with him here because he reminds me of things I'd forgotten."
"You wouldn't talk about my mum to me," Harry pointed out with a touch of envy.

"I try. It's not easy."
"But you don't talk about other stuff either," Harry pointed out. "I mean you said something to Sirius about someone called Angel, is he one of the souled vampires? And what about Spike, who's he? And where is he?"

Buffy turned around and Harry realised in shock that he'd been making her angry.

"Lay off the questions okay?" she said sharply. "We've known each other all of two weeks, don't pry into my life. You're not the only one who has stuff you don't want to talk about."
She stared at him for a few more seconds and then turned back and continued on preparing the food. Harry stared at her back feeling a strange mix of guilt and anger churning in his stomach. He hadn't meant to make her upset but she was pushing him to talk to her and he felt he had the same rights. There was clearly something bugging his aunt and he had an inkling it was to do with her vampire friends.


Harry picked listlessly at a dinner he didn't want sitting next to Buffy in silence. He escaped as soon as he could, helping her to load the dishwasher and then escaping to his room while muttering something about homework. He was so frustrated that after they had finally got things back on track while Sirius was there, they'd gone back to stony silence almost immediately after he left.

He threw himself face down on his bed and just lay there for a few minutes, until he was disturbed by a tapping on the window. He looked up quickly and relaxed as he saw Hedwig perched on the window sill outside. He jumped up and opened the window for her. She hooted gratefully, swooping in and landing on her cage. He untied the letter that was attached to her foot and then gave her an owl treat.

He opened the letter and scanned the content rapidly.

Dear Harry,

Glad to hear you got to your Aunt's safely even if it wasn't where you expected. Your aunt sounds pretty cool, how did she manage to make her town fall into a crater? Was it a spell that went wrong?

Stuff here is okay, it's difficult to say too much as you never know who might be reading this. We are trying to help as much as we can, which means we get to pick up on a few things. Nothing of much value though. We'll fill you in when you get home.

If you've been looking at the Prophet then you'll get the idea of what the Ministry's been saying about you. Of course we know its lies but it's probably hard for you. Try not to let it get to you, they'll be taking it all back when they find out the truth. They didn't even report properly about Cedric, how could they call it an accident? The sooner the truth comes out the better, even if it means open war.

Let us know when you leave Rome and where you are going on to. Snuffles said he might drop by, you might have seen him already. Hopefully it won't be too long before we see you again.


Love Hermione and Ron.

Harry reread the letter and then frowned, pushing his hair back roughly. What did they mean about the Daily Prophet? He had been getting the paper and looking at the front page but hadn't seen the slightest mention of himself. He grabbed the nearest copy which happened to be the most recent and opened it a few pages in. His eyes fell onto an article about a wizard who claimed to have been attacked by a rogue flock of Chizpurfles. He scanned it briefly and was shocked when his eyes fell upon his own name. What could he have to do with it? He read the sentence, 'This ridiculous story is surely one worthy of Harry Potter.' Harry stared at the words bewildered. He quickly scanned through the rest of the paper and found two more references to himself, each implying that he was a well known tale-teller. Quickly, he looked through older copies of the Prophet and discovered a few more of these references, as well as a few about Dumbledore losing his mind.
Harry dropped the last paper on the floor and stared at the wall in shock. So everyone in the wizarding world thought he was a liar, and he wasn't even there to defend himself. And Cedric's death an accident…… Harry felt sick to his stomach. There was so much going on in England, things that involved him but no one seemed to give a damn, they just wanted him tucked away somewhere. Not even Ron and Hermione would tell him about what was going on, they were all just letting him be run down daily by
the Prophet while he wasn't there.

Harry stood up, sat down and then stood up again. He couldn't just stay in this room, things were whirling around in his head, anger, confusion, fear and his scar was prickling like mad. He opened the door and crossed the apartment. He had to talk to someone; Buffy could help him or at least just be there to listen.

He reached her door and pushed it slightly open before hearing her speak and realising she was on the phone.

"Honestly Giles, I really can't handle this right now," Harry heard Buffy say frustratedly. He saw her stride across the room to gaze out the window. "There's just too much going on here for me to be worrying about that. It's hard enough trying to take care of a teenager, without trying to fit slaying in as well."
Harry moved closer to the door.

"Oh it's not anything really. It's just….difficult. I mean we're practically strangers and on top of everything else I have to take care of, I really don't need another thing to worry about. I mean sometimes I wish he hadn't been told about me, we could've both carried on oblivious about each other. Maybe it would've been better that way."
Harry pulled the door closed quietly. He had heard enough.


"No I don't really mean that," Buffy said after a pause. "And this isn't really about Harry. I love having him around. I just thought it would be easier than this….you know, I've been the slayer for eight years, I thought it was my chance to rest. But –"

Buffy broke off as she heard the front door slam.

"Buffy?" Giles asked confusedly down the phone. Buffy stared for a moment at her closed bedroom door and then lifted the phone top her ear again.
"Giles I have to go. I'll call you later."
She pressed the off button on the phone and dashed out of the room.


Harry pounded the pavement furiously, only barely registering that a chill hung in the air. If Buffy didn't want him around that was fine with him. He would just leave, he didn't need her. He had other places he could go if putting up with him was so horrible for her.
He turned a corner and there she was before him. He noticed her before she saw him, she was turning to look around her and before he could move, she spotted him and hurried to him.
"What are you doing?" Buffy exclaimed, thrusting a coat at him which he accepted grudgingly. "Well?" she said expectantly. He narrowed his eyes at her.
"I heard you on the phone," he said darkly. "If you don't want me around, I'll go home. I don't need you to look after me."
Buffy's expression softened.
"You really shouldn't eavesdrop, you never get to hear the whole story," she warned lightly. She put a hand on his shoulder. "Of course I want you around, don't be stupid. What you heard me say was in the heat of the moment, Giles just gave me some bad news. Truth is, Faith's got a potential apocalypse on her hands in Cleveland and I'm expected to be there to back her up. But I want to be here and it's difficult. I've been spreading myself thin and it's caught up with me."
She put her arm around his shoulder and they began to walk. He didn't really know what to think but he knew that despite his anger, he still badly wanted this to work.
"Honestly, the problem is that I want to be here. I want to get to know you, that's my priority. But there's a part of me that says I should be doing my job, that that should be my priority. Which is why I'm freaking out. But it's nothing to do with you, I want you here. And you can't 'go home' because this is your home, with me."
Harry nodded slowly. He and Buffy reached a small coffee shop and entered. It was practically deserted. They ordered and then sat down in two overlarge armchairs before he spoke.

"I understand," he said quietly. "But it hasn't exactly been a barrel of laughs, has it? I'm not sure I realised how hard it would be. I mean here I feel like I'm just a nuisance half the time and then there's so much going on in England and I'm scared that there's so little I can do. I got a letter from my friends and it said basically nothing. I mean the Ministry of Magic is completely denying the fact that Voldemort has returned. Dumbledore's being blamed for what they're calling a lie and meanwhile the Death Eaters are at work again. The national newspaper is calling me a liar every day. And they called Cedric's death an accident, like he deserved it, like he did something wrong……." He stopped abruptly and his cheeks flushed, he'd said too much. Buffy opened her mouth to speak and then closed it again as the waitress placed two coffees on the table and then departed.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she said gently once they were alone. Harry shook his head and looked away.

"I know what it feels like," Buffy said quietly. "I've been there."
"With Spike?" Harry said and then regretted it. Buffy looked away sharply. Harry was afraid he had gone too far but then she nodded.
"Tell me," he said simply and so she did. Hesitatingly at first but gathering momentum as she went on. She told him everything, Angel and how it was with him and then how she lost him and how much it had hurt, only to find him and then lose him all over again. And Riley, the man she had tried so desperately to be in love with but when it came down to it, the slayer inside her just wouldn't let her. And then Spike, the obsession he had had with her, her death and rebirth and the whole twisted secret relationship they had cultivated. She even told him about the rape, she felt she had to, it was important to her that he understood everything. And then Spike's soul and the way she had slept in his arms. His death and her saying she loved him.
"I couldn't believe what he said then," Buffy said hollowly. "I'd laid it on the line for him and he'd thrown it back in my face. But now, I can see, he was right to do that. I don't know if I meant it but when I said it, it didn't matter. There were no consequences, no throwbacks. I could say it and never have to deal with it. But now I find myself wondering what it would be like if he hadn't died. But I guess I'll never know."
There was an understanding between them then and Harry finally felt something inside him that made her feel like family.
"But you miss him?" Harry asked quietly.
"A lot. More than I thought I could miss someone."

Harry cocked an eyebrow.

"More than you missed Angel?"
Buffy grimaced.

"Differently," she said enigmatically. "I broke down when I lost Angel, partly because I was a kid and partly because of everything else that happened that night. But I'm an adult now and I have responsibilities. For Spike, I have to be strong. It has to be enough that I knew him and he loved me because there's things I have to do. But that doesn't mean he meant less to me than Angel."

Harry smiled.
"So basically what you're saying is that you have no clue."
Buffy grinned ruefully.
"I don't think about that question because it makes my head hurt," she replied. "I just have to keep things simple. Right now I know that I miss Spike a lot, sometimes it hurts and sometimes not so much. I wish he were with me but he's not and that's something I have to cope with. I know what it's like to miss people."
Harry nodded slowly and Buffy sipped her coffee and then looked at him expectantly.

"But you know how that feels too," Buffy commented heavily. "You miss Lily like I do."

"But I don't," Harry said with difficulty. "I miss having parents but I never even knew my mum or my dad. I miss having the feeling of family and I miss them being there. Sometimes I really need them and they're not there. And it makes me so angry sometimes."
Harry looked down; his hands were trembling in his lap. He'd never spoken this openly about his parents.
"Angry at them?"

"Sometimes," he said darkly. "I mean, if they could've just picked a different secret keeper, anyone at all, then they would still be here. If they'd just have let Dumbledore do it then I'd still have parents. But they trusted Pettigrew and it killed them. And because of that mistake, I had to grow up alone. And I feel so horrible for feeling like that, guilty because they're dead and I still think like this."
Harry looked up at Buffy, unshed tears lingering in his eyes. She shook her head.
"You're not a bad person," she said sincerely. "You're human. My mom, well not my birth mom, but the mom I grew up with, died a couple of years ago from a brain tumour. And for a while afterwards I was so furious at her for leaving. I was going through an awful time, Dawn was in danger and my life was balancing on the edge. And I needed her so much but she left." She put her hand on his. "But she didn't choose to leave and neither did James and Lily. They would've done anything they could for us but sometimes you just have to realise that that's how life is. It's hard."

"When does it get easier?" Harry murmured. Buffy shrugged.
"Maybe it doesn't," she said softly. "Maybe when we're really old and wrinkled and the only thing we have to worry about is what we're eating for dinner. But right now we have to fight and know that it's the best we can do." She clasped his hand tightly and met his eyes. "Tell me about what happened last summer."
He hesitated but not for long, he wanted her to know. It would help, he thought, to have someone else on his side who could understand. He told her about the Triwizard Tournament and all the signs and fear about Voldemort. He told her about the tasks and the other contestants and how he had touched the cup and it had transported him and Cedric. And then he reached the part about the graveyard and he faltered. It was like reliving it all over again. Taking out his wand with Cedric. And the high cold voice….'kill the spare'. Cedric lying of the ground, a vacant expression on his dead face. The rebirth, the fight, the ghosts.
"You saw Lily?" Buffy murmured, her mouth dry. Harry nodded.
"An echo of her when she was alive," he muttered. "She spoke to me, just a few words. Encouragement, telling me to go."

Buffy stared at him in shock for a few moments.

"And you saw that boy, Cedric?"

"He asked me to take his body back to his parents," Harry said wearily. "But…" It seemed important that he get this out, it was important that she know even though he was struggling to speak properly. "…it shouldn't have been him; it wasn't meant for him….the cup was meant for me, I was supposed to be sent there, not him. But I told him….I told him to take the cup with me so we would both win. And then they killed him."
Harry heard hung low, his eyes burned with unshed tears.
"It should've been just me, not him….it wasn't meant to be him. I told him to take the cup. I killed him and his mum….she said it was okay." He looked up at Buffy, tears wet on his cheeks. "I killed her son and she forgave me. She didn't know what I did, what I said to him. If it weren't for me he would be alive. He didn't deserve to die."

Buffy put her arms around her young nephew and held him. He didn't sob against her but just let her hold him. She pulled back and wiped his tears from his cheeks with her hand.
"You can't control life," she said softly. "Or death. We wish we could but we can't. And you can't keep blaming yourself for a murder that was nothing to do with you. Cedric was killed by Voldemort and it wasn't your fault. You're at war and there's always death in war. It's so hard but sometimes we have to say goodbye and lay the ghosts to rest, because that's all they are, ghosts, and they'll never be anything else."


They walked home, arms wrapped round each others waists, in silence. It was a different kind of silence than before, not frosty but companionable. When they reached they apartment, Harry gave Buffy a wan smile and then went to his bedroom. She stared after him for a long time, wanting so badly to make things better for him even though she knew she couldn't just like that. But she could help and now it would be easier. The ice was broken and they were real family now.
She moved over to the balcony and opened the doors wide, stepping out into the night air. The stars shone overheard, winking at her and she breathed in deeply, closing her eyes and just feeling, imagining she could feel the starlight on her face. She leant on the iron railings and reached into her pocket, extracting a crumpled packet of cigarettes with one inside. She took it out, putting the packet back in her pocket and put it between her lips. She lit it and inhaled deeply, taking a long drag. The feeling calmed her, her first cigarette and her last. She held it between her slender fingers and looked out over Rome, her city now. Not quite Sunnydale but not bad all the same. Her heart was in Sunnydale though, buried beneath the rubble. She stared up at the sky, focusing on the stars. She smiled to herself. Her own ghost but she had the memories of him and that had to be enough.

"This one's for you love," she murmured, looking back up at the stars. She took another drag and then flicked the ash off the end. She stood there smoking the cigarette right until there was practically nothing left. Her fingers released the butt and it fell from the balcony, before being caught by the breeze and blown away.


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