Disclaimer: I own nothing of value here unless you want Gerdy and some strangers; but they aren't very interesting, except for Gerdy, who is a little strange. Why he isn't a stranger? We shall never know.
Chapter 1
Warning: Please, beware of the AU and OOCness of it all. Complete and utter insanity I know, this is what happens when you leave me (I happen to be perfectly sane by the way) and my completely insane friend alone for more than a day.
SLAP
"My husband just died you jerk!" said Samantha vehemently at the man who had previously been gripping her arm.
"I know but I need you to come with me." Said the strange person dressed in black (who shall from this point on known as stranger 1).
SLAP
"NO!" yelled Samantha, making him back further and further towards his ugly gray and rusted van. Slapping him in-amidst various comments from both sides (you must understand she's in mourning or she probably could've kicked his butt.). All the while with her baby, Daniel, giggling happily at the sight.
Once she had backed him into the van he did something she never would've expected. He grabbed her upper arm and thigh so that he could toss her into the back of the van that was opened by stranger 2. Suddenly the baby started wailing, "Sorry about having to be so rough with you, we had hoped you'd come quietly," said the driver.
SLAP
"My baby! My baby!"
"Somebody go do somethin' about that kid would ya!" shouted stranger 1.
SLAP
"Don't you touch him!" yelled Sam.
"Don't worry he'll be—" said stranger 3 but was cut off when she hit him.
SLAP
"Can we put her in handcuffs now?" asked stranger 1, having taken most of the hits.
"No," said the driver, "we've already been more brutal with her than we were supposed to be."
"Give me my baby! Where's my baby?!" Said Sam vehemently.
"Your baby will dropped at a daycare and be well taken care of until you return."
With that said, the driver took off at the speed of light, literally.
SLAP
"Where are you taking me?"
"Not here. Not now. There may be spies." Said stranger 3.
SLAP
"You, driver, where are you taking me?! And why is he the only one dressed up?!"
Seated in the van were five men two in the front separated by Plexiglas, they were the driver and the man in the tuxedo. The other three were strangers 1-3, stranger 1 was sitting to her right guarding the door, stranger 2 was on her left, and stranger 3 was closest to the driver and out of slapping range.
As they continued on their way to 'headquarters' she preceded slap the man guarding the door at every stop. Complaining about the rough seats and if they really wanted her help they should treat her better.
"I will ask you again where are we going?" she demanded of stranger 2, who happened to be mute. When he didn't answer her...
SLAP
Stranger 2 then glared at stranger 3 who was laughing oh so giddily. But since he had looked away he didn't notice her hand flying towards his face in utter fury for ignoring her question.
SLAP
Finally they managed to get close enough, without getting slapped mind you, to give her a sedative.
When she finally awoke from her forced slumber, she slowly began to come to her senses. First thing she noticed was a guy poking her with a poky stick thing, asking her to wake up.
In response to which she promptly slapped him.
SLAP
"Who are you?! Where am I?! Where's my baby?!"
-Oh yeah she's awake- thought her guards as they quickly went over to restrain her, as they awaited 'boss man' to arrive. Of course they did not come out completely unscathed.
SLAPSLAPSLAPSLAPSLAP
"Let me go! I want my baby!" She wailed as 'boss man' came in and instructed them to release her.
"I don't think that'd be such a good idea sir." Said stranger 1.
"Are you contradicting me soldier, I could put you on report for that. Now I said release her."
So they released her promptly backing out of range. She then walked straight up to 'boss man', looked him in the eye and...
SLAP
"WHERE'S MY BABY?!?!?!" and then proceeded to brake down into tears, mumbling incomprehensibly about her baby.
Flashback
She met him on a warm summer's day at the beach. She had been admiring him from afar, when his Frisbee suddenly smacked her in the head. He immediately rushed over to apologize for his friend's incompetence...
-He's going to go to the same high school, and military school, how cool is that- she thought...
She was flattered, even though they went to separate colleges. He never neglected to write her everyday even if the only words on the paper was hi and his name...
She couldn't believe she was so nervous, this was supposed to be the happiest day of her life and here she was seriously considering running away from the altar...
She was gonna KILL him, how could he sit there and tell her it was going to be fine, he wasn't the one sitting there in labor...
She couldn't believe it his injuries weren't even that serious, yet he'd died on the table. They'd cut his windpipe... he'd suffocated... years in the army cheating death around every corner, and the STUPID DOCTOR HAD KILLED HIM...
End Flashback
"I tried to warn you sir, she's been doing that ever since we picked her up."
"Well, did you ever think to just give her the kid?! Your orders were to pick her up and bring her here not traumatize her," he told strangers 1-3, "throw them in the brig for insubordination." He instructed Teal'c, who he lovingly referred to as his goon.
"Get her the kid already would you, Gerdy (aka. Tuxedo man)?" said Jack.
"Of course, sir. Right away, sir." He replied quickly scurrying out of the room.
"I'm sorry about that," he said bending down to Sam's level who was finally calming down a bit, "Samantha isn't it?" she nodded.
"You're the one responsible for all this?" she asked calmly.
"Yes, I'm sorta in charge around here."
"Sorta?"
"Yeah they don't always listen."
"But you ordered them to pick me up?"
"Yeah."
SLAP
"Where's my baby!?"
"This is all one big giant circle isn't it."
Just then in came Gerdy carrying the baby.
"Daniel! My baby!" she ran over quickly snatching him from Gerdy and quickly checking to make sure he wasn't hurt. Seeing that he was okay she began speaking to him in baby talk. "Ooteetee boo boo. Who's the boo boo. Yu voobooboo. A viguboo boo zee boo boo."
To which her surrounding audience responded with a blank stare, while baby Daniel giggled with glee. And that was when she noticed the rather large group of people gaping at her.
"What never seen a mother and her kid before?!" she shouted at them with contempt.
Then just in spite she slapped the closest person to her, which just happened to be Gerdy.
SLAP
Tired of being the center of attention, she stomped out of the room only to get lost minutes later.
After being slapped, Gerdy placed his hand to his pained cheek and swooned.
In response to which he was promptly smacked up side the head by Jack, who then went to find Sam.
After much walking Samantha found a door that said 'Danger Contains Deadly Substances' and thinking –they'll never think to look for me in here-, she threw open the heavy metal door and stepped inside letting it close behind her with a bang.
Mere seconds went by before she heard the sound of the door being opened again. She turned towards the sound with a gasp, nearly knocking over a table with many vials, test tubes, and beakers. Most of which could've killed her and Daniel.
"Watch it!" said Jack reaching quickly to steady the table.
A/N: Complete and utter insanity I know, this is what happens when you leave me (I happen to be perfectly sane by the way) and my completely insane friend alone for more than a day. Please be at least somewhat kind, and if you don't want to me to write anymore just let me know and that's that.
