Disclaimer: (I loved this one, its by Internutter) Ahm. What's mine is mine, and what's theirs is theirs. This is just a little bit of mine mixed with a little bit of theirs. Don't steal mine. Thank you.
Authors note: I am so sorry that this is out later than usual. My computer had a problem. Wanna know what it was? The freakin mouse died! The mouse! You can't do shit without the damn mouse! I never even really thought about it until just now. I couldn't believe that! So , anyway, I had to hitch a ride into town so that I could buy a new one. Of course, I had to wait a couple hours to even get the ride. I wish I had my own car. *Sighs pitifully.* Ok, moving along now. Alright, I was asked if Magneto knew that drinking from a metal cup makes the, well, drink taste bad. Lets just pretend that the cup was ceramic or glass on the inside and metal on the outside. That works. Now, I am wondering if you people would like to see Sesshomaru paired with anyone? So as of now, the Sesshy-polls are officially open! Tell me whether I should match him up or not and with whom you'd like to see Lord Fluffy with. I would also like to say that I'm sorry to the people who were upset about the Inu-polls. I hope that you will continue to read my story regardless, but if I've lost your review because of that then I am sorry. It's just the way things worked out. Now that that's over with I would like to beg forgiveness from you wonderful reviewers once more. Please don't hurt me!
Chapter Eleven: Inu-vs-Elf
Kurt rolled over and curled up into a more intricate knot, dreaming sweet dreams about his two most favorite things in the whole wide world.
Junk food and Kagome.
The sudden bellow of rage caught him by surprise and left him clinging to the ceiling, blinking around in confusion. His sleep clouded brain finally managed to register where the scream had come from.
Kurt grinned. Oh right. He remembered now.
Jumping back down to his bed, and back flipping off it, he walked over to his closet and pulled on a pair of shorts and a shirt just before Inuyasha came barreling into his room.
The Hanyou was pissed. Kurt figured it was a good thing looks couldn't kill, otherwise he would have been dead several times over.
He just smiled pleasantly at the fuming demon.
"Somezing I can do for you?"
Inuyasha growled. "Pink." Was all he managed to get out from between his clenched teeth. Showing Kurt what was in his hand
Kurt raised an eyebrow. "So it iz. I tink it looks gut(Good), don't you?"
Inuyasha snarled, whipping Tetsusaiga out of it's, now bright, Florissant, pink, sheath and lunged at the blue elf.
"Die!!"
Kurt rolled out of the way then darted out the door. Inuyasha gave chase, waving his untrasformed sword about threateningly.
"Get back here!! When I get my hands on you I'm gonna cut off that fucking tail of yours and strangle you with it!!"
++++++++++++
Breakfast was a rather subdued affair on the whole. If you disregarded the venomous looks of death Inuyasha kept shooting at Kurt, and Kurt's overly cheerful chatter.
Nobody was sure who exactly started it, but at some point one of the two decided that he could eat more than the other.
Everyone else just watched in disgusted fascination as the two put food away faster than the Blob.
After he'd been starved for several years.
In the end there was really no clear winner since Kagome eventually dragged Kurt out by his tail, and Rogue pulled Inu out by the ear.
After a short argument with Inuyasha over his inducer. ("Keh! Why should I have to hide from a bunch of pathetic humans.") Which Kagome fixed. (Sit!) and they were on their way. Inuyasha grumbling and cursing, Kurt smiling cheerfully and singing along to the radio, and Rogue interrogating Kagome as to how she flattened the Hanyou with one word.
Once at the school, and as they were going up the walkway with a bunch of other students, Inuyasha decided to get his revenge.
Kagome had told him that this "school" thing decided your status in life in this time. (Really stupid if you asked him) so if he humiliated the annoying blue human then his life would be ruined. Perfect.
Sticking out his foot, he nonchalantly tripped Kurt.
"Whoa!" And Kurt dived face first toward the ground.
Only to roll several times, do a back flip, then land perfectly on two feet.
He bowed to the crowd of cheering students and winked at Inuyasha.
Inuyasha just gnashed his teeth together and tried to keep from strangling the stupid elf.
After stopping Inuyasha from shredding his locker,(Kagome sympathized with him, she'd wanted to do that several times as well) and steering him to class, she sat him down in the seat next to hers, since he couldn't take the Tetsusaiga with him to school they had to be very careful to make sure that nothing set him off and her scent did calm him, he'd said so himself, so dog-boy was going to be staying close to her today.
Turning, she sat in her seat, that Kurt had used his tail to pull out for her. His tail wrapped around her wrist for a second, caressing her hand, then disappeared under his shirt. Kurt smiled at her and winked.
The teacher had asked Inuyasha to introduce himself but he'd just snorted, until Kagome had poked him in the side and threatened to sit him again, then he'd grumbled his name, hardly loud enough to be heard.
The teacher had looked annoyed, the boys thought it was funny, and the girls.well, most of them were too busy drooling over the new guy to pay anything else much attention.
Class went by uneventfully, except for a few dozen notes that found there way onto Inuyasha's desk. Completely confused, he'd shown them to Kagome, asking her if she knew what the hell was wrong with the females in this place.
Kagome had looked at the notes, most of them phone numbers and even a few that were a little, ahm, explicit, and promptly tore them up.
When Inuyasha had gotten mad she'd calmly told him that those girls wished to "Mate" with him, as he'd say.
Inuyasha looked shocked, then began looking over his shoulder every two minutes to see if one of the crazy chicks was sneaking up behind him. He stayed paranoid throughout most of the day. Going out of his way to avoid strange females.
Lunch time couldn't come fast enough in Kagome's opinion. Luckily they'd brought lunch's from home today. She didn't want to try introducing Inuyasha to cafeteria food on his first day. It could be dangerous. Inuyasha, of course, had wandered off to find a tree to perch in for a while.
Inuyasha sat in the high branches of the largest tree on the grounds. Leaning back against the strong trunk behind him, and plotting ways to make an elf skin rug. He was so preoccupied that he never even noticed that he wasn't alone anymore. Glancing down, he saw that Pietro guy leaning against the trunk at the base of the tree.
Shrugging, Inu climbed silently down until he was right above the speedy youth. Then hung from his legs so that he was hanging upside down, and looking the other boy right in the eyes.
"Boo."
Pietro was so startled that he jumped about a foot in the air, then turned to run.
And smacked right into the tree. Knocking him over on his ass.
Inuyasha fell out of the tree laughing.
Pietro glared over at him, then disappeared, reappearing and shoving something in Inu's wide open mouth.
Inuyasha gagged. Spitting it out and then scrapping at his tongue. "What the fuck was that?!"
Pietro smirked. "Cafeteria food. Mystery meat."
Inuyasha made a disgusted face, looking a little green. "Ugh. That shit makes me sick." He reached over and pulled some grass out then started munching on it.
"What are you doing?" Pietro watched the other boy in confusion.
Inuyasha grunted. "Helps settle my stomach."
Shrugging they both sat down in the shade of the tree.
Finally Pietro just had to ask something. "Are you really a demon?" he asked this arrogantly, as if he really wasn't curious, just making conversation .
"Yes, I am a fucking demon. Get it through your thick skull stupid human." Inuyasha said in exasperation.
Pietro frowned and decided to let that insult slide for now. "I didn't know they existed."
"Well fuck, I didn't know mutants existed until I found out the wench was one."
Pietro hummed. Then looked over to where the X-geeks were sitting. Nightcrawler was trying to feed the new mutant, Kagome, and she would refuse until he made her laugh then take the opportunity to shove the food in her mouth. Then they'd both laugh. Disgusting really.
"You seem very close to her, are you in love with her or something?" He asked jokingly. The silence from the person next to him had him turning. Inuyasha's head was bowed, bangs shading his eyes. Pietro's eyes widened. "You are, aren't you?" He whispered.
"I will always love Kagome." Inuyasha whispered back. Then stiffened. Why in the hell had he told him that? He was never like this! He just kept letting his guard down around the other boy because, for some fucking reason, he trusted him.
"And fuzz-butt got her." Pietro continued glaring at the blue mutants back.
Inuyasha growled at the mention of the other boys name.
Pietro turned back to face Inuyasha. "Why are you even here then? She obviously isn't with you, so why do you continue to stay?" he was uncharacteristically concerned for the hanyou. Which was really weird for him.
Inuyasha sighed. Not sure of how to explain it, so instead he found himself telling Pietro about their adventures, leaving out all things involving time travel and jewels of course.
Pietro listened in fascination. He figured that Inuyasha was probably embellishing the truth quite a bit,( I mean come on, blood thirsty demons the size of houses, and the fact that he claimed to have lived after having a hand shoved through his stomach.)
Vaguely he wished he had friends like that. Ones that you never had to second guess. Ones that would risk their lives to help you.
Then he realized how freakin' soppy that sounded and pounded the thought into mental dust.
But no matter how much he tried not to listen, a little voice kept whispering. 'It would be nice.'
+++++++++++++++
During P.E the boys were doing gymnastics. Both Kurt and Inuyasha kept trying to one-up each other. Their stunts getting more, and more elaborate.
Kagome was doing archery with the girls, which of course she had lots of experience in, but her attention kept diverting back to the boys antics.
"Miss. Higurashi!" The teacher finally yelled after trying to get the young girls attention for the past few minutes.
Shocked, Kagome reacted like she was used to when there was a bow in her hands.
She infused it with her miko powers and released the arrow.
KABOOM!!
Everyone stopped and turned to see what had happened.
Kagome stood several feet before a smoking crater that used to be a target. Still positioned as she was after firing the arrow.
Kurt and Inuyasha both stopped to gape.
Slowly the other girls and the teacher pulled themselves up from where they'd dived for the ground.
Kagome brought her hand up and rubbed at the back of her head. Grinning sheepishly. " Heh, heh. Oops? Must have been one of those exploding arrow tips, funny joke huh?" She tried lamely.
The teacher was giving her a lecture about using her "Unnatural" ability's like that in school. She wouldn't listen when Kagome had tried to tell her that that hadn't been her mutant ability, the teacher just kept on ranting, stating that she was going to be expelled for this.
Growling, Kagome shifted and rewound time to just before she shot the arrow. Then replayed the whole thing over again.
All of the students who had witnessed the event where confused, but didn't say anything for fear of sounding crazy, shrugging it all off as a hallucination.
Everyone except for Kurt and Inuyasha, who knew what had happened. Of course, now that the danger was over with they thought that Kagome blowing the target sky high was hilarious. Then they remembered that they hated one another(At least in Inu's case, Kurt was just amused by their fighting) and got back to competing.
+++++++++++++
Once back at the institute things took a turn for the worst. The pranks got more and more frequent. It was actually Kurt who started it this time.
He'd been carrying around a brown bag, clutching it as if it were a wondrous treasure, so of course Inu was going to take an interest in whatever it was.
After following Kurt and watching to see where the blue elf hide them, he snuck over and opened the bag.
They looked like cookies. And if the human had been trying to hide them that meant they must be really good cookies. So he decided he'd eat them.
Reaching into the bag and taking them out he walked into the living room, flopped down cross-legged onto the couch and munched on one of the bone-shaped cookies.
Kagome and Rogue came in a while later, as he was finishing the last one, and stared. Then burst out laughing. He glared at them in annoyance, wondering what the fuck they found so funny.
Kagome finally managed to get a coherent sentence out. Wiping the tears from her eyes. "Where did you get the dog biscuits Inuyasha?"
He stiffened, a pink blush spreading across his face. scoffing as the two girls laughingly left the room. Another laugh had his ears swiveling back to pinpoint the corner of the room.
He growled as the blue teen seemed to melt out of the shadows, laughing his ass off.
Later He was positioning a bucket above Kurt's doorway.
Of course his revenge didn't work out quite as he planned. Instead of drenching an elf with sour milk, he got a wolverine.
Kurt, knowing that Inu was pulling the old 'bad milk over the door' routine, (Although, come to think of it, he was from five hundred years in the past. Maybe it wasn't the oldest trick back then) figured that it backfired and got the hanyou instead, after all he was an amateur, so after checking that their was, indeed, someone taking a shower, he began turning on all the sinks he could.
"What the hell are you doing?"
Stiffening, Kurt turned slowly to see Inuyasha, fully clothed and standing with his arms crossed next to him, looking somewhere between pissed and puzzled.
"Ah, if you ver not in de shower zen..who vas?"
Standing in the doorway was a very wet, very angry, wolverine in a towel.
Kurt took one look at the current situation and did the one thing any prankster does when close to being caught.
BAMF!
He got the hell out of there.
Wolverine glared at Inuyasha, who was looking rather confused.
"You again, pup!"
Inu's eyes widened.
Later, and nursing a bump on his head, he sat smearing large amounts of supper-glue to Kurt's usual seat at the table. Chuckling evilly under his breath. Nothing would go wrong this time.
At dinner Inuyasha sat at his seat grinning. When Kurt came in and pulled his seat out, lowering himself into it. He almost lost it and started laughing. Until, that is, Rogue grabbed Kurt's arm and dragged him over to the seat next to her. God damned women!
Logan came into the room and, noticing that his normal seat was taken, shrugged and puled out the elf's chair.
Inuyasha panicked. "No! you can't sit there, uh, because.I want to!" He yelled.
Logan just raised an eyebrow. "Well to bad pup, ya should have thought of that earlier." And with that Logan sat down.
Inuyasha grimaced, oh this would not turn out well.
When dinner was over Logan tried to get up, then discovered he couldn't. He was glued to the damn seat. looking across the table he saw the pup looking in any direction but his. Logan narrowed his eyes.
'That tears it.'
++++++++++++++
Later that night, Inuyasha was standing outside yelling at Kurt, who was just smiling away.
Suddenly they felt someone grab their heads and slam them together.
Then everything was dark.
"Ow, zat hurt!" Kurt whined rubbing at his head.
"Oh just shut the hell up!"
Looking up to retort the words sputtered and died half way to his mouth. The reason.
He was looking at himself.
Blinking, he rubbed at his eyes and looked again. Yep, still hallucinating.
Then the panic set in. "OH mein Gott! Zis is terrible!"
"What the hell is your problem now you.what the fuck!!"
Inuyasha stared at the doppelganger with his face, that was freaking out and gibbering something in German.
"How the fuck did this happen?!"
"I don't know! Last think I can remember is my head smacking into yours."
"That's it! Well just do it again!" Inuyasha grabbed Kurt, then head-butted him.
"Verdammit!!" Kurt rubbed at his forehead.
"Damn, guess it didn't work."
"You tink, Dummkopf!!"(Stupid/idiot)
"Kurt! Inuyasha! Come on in now, Kitty's got a new movie she want's us to see!"
"Commink!" Kurt yelled back. He started for the house before Inuyasha jerked him back by the arm.
"We fucking switched bodies remember!" Inuyasha hissed at him.
"Oh, ja. I forgot." Kurt grinned stupidly.
The dog-eared boy sighed. "I don't think the others need to know about this, we can fix it ourselves. We'll just.pretend to be each other until everybody goes to bed."
An hour later and Kurt didn't think it was such a good idea anymore.
He sat by the window, glaring daggers at his own back. Inuyasha was cuddling up to Kagome in his body.
'That's my girlfriend!'
As if sensing his thoughts, Inuyasha turned and grinned at him.
Kurt growled. He was so going to make that hanyou pay once he got his body back.
++++++++++++++
"I don't tink zer are any four-leaf clovers around here."
"Just shut up and keep looking!"
"I can't even see anyzing."
Inuyasha scoffed. "That's because you're a weak, pathetic human. I can see just fine in the dark."
Kurt glared at his back, gold eyes shining like a cats in the dark.
"Vhy are we looking for a clover again? Ze don't grant vishes. We should be looking for a genie or somezing."
Inuyasha just growled.
They never found any four-leaf clovers. Or pixies. Or leprechauns.
Professor X, after being awoken at two in the morning by the frantic teens, had just chuckled and told them everything was fine.
They got a similar reaction from Hank.
Finally they both sat in the living room. Out of ideas.
"Vell, it vaz our heads smacking into each ozer zat started zis. Maybe ve just need to make a bigger impact."
"Like what?" Inu grumbled.
"Like instead of just our heads, ve smack togezer our whole bodies."
"That's stupid." Inuyasha sunk further into his chair. Then perked up. "But it just might work."
They stood at opposite sides of the large room, then, taking a running start slammed right into each other. Hard.
"God dammnit! It didn't work!"
Kurt just groaned from his position on the floor.
Footsteps entered the room and they looked up to see Logan.
He reached down and took off their inducer's. Fiddled with them for a second then tossed them back.
Then he smirked at them. "Don't' mess with the best."
And with that, he turned and left the room.
Kurt and Inuyasha turned and looked at each other. Happy to see that they looked like themselves again.
"Let's not do zat again."
"Agreed." Then Inuyasha narrowed his eyes at the elf. "I still don't fucking like you."
Kurt just grinned. "Zat's ok by me." Then his grin turned into a smirk. " I von't be to sad, after all.Kagome still loves me."
Inuyasha growled and chased the laughing elf out of the room.
++++++++++++++++
Authors note: Well there ya go. Again, sorry that it was so late, I hope that it won't happen again. If your wondering why Inu and Kurt didn't realize that they were still themselves (I.e.- Kurt's hands and fur, Inu's ears) it's because they were being to panicky to really pay attention. Also, Dogs eat grass when they have stomach aches, so I figured Inu would probably do it to. Heh. The next chapter will be a fairly serious one, as all good fanfics must eventually have, so be prepared, not as much humor next chapter. Don't' forget to review and vote in the Sesshy-polls! Next time: Magneto makes his move, Sesshy is revealed to his brother, and something happens to Kagome's powers. Later. Sayin_girl
