Disclaimer: Again, I don't own Rurouni Kenshin.

Chapter Three

"So how" Sanosuke asked, "are we supposed to figure out where everyone sleeps?"

"Its already been set up." Answered Yahiko, who had arrived before all of them and had made himself comfortable in front of the big-screened television. Tsubame and Tae sat on either side of him. "Just check the beds." And it had, in fact, been set up. The seven who had almost exploded out of the taxi (and had just rediscovered their ability to breath) found that on each bed was an action figure of them selves. Below the action figure, if it weren't obvious enough by the dolls, was set a name-tag written in impeccable hand writing.

"These things are so funny!" Megumi exclaimed, sitting at the table and playing with the miniature version of her that was accurate down to its tiny red lips. "I've never seen anything like this before. They would have to know us pretty well to get it this good."

"Well, we did submit face shots." Kenshin responded. He frowned slightly at his action figure, which was about an inch shorter than Sanosuke.

"They probably were spying on us during the wait time." Sanosuke responded, slightly frightened by the figure of himself that was much to accurate.

"I wouldn't have pinned you as the paranoid crazy type, Sanosuke. They wouldn't spy on us. That's just immoral. Everyone has a right to privacy." Megumi responded, her voice edged with disrespect. Sanosuke rolled his eyes.

"They're reality television people. Do you think they have a problem with spying on us or ignoring our right to privacy?" Casually he snapped the waste band of his doll. He dropped the doll quickly, his face growing white.

"Jesus Christ! Those perverts!" He yelled while his left eye twitched violently.

"What are you screaming about?" Megumi asked.

"The dolls are anatomically correct." Sanosuke answered.

"Let me see that." Megumi responded quickly, snatching Sanosuke's doll and looking down the waistband before thinking about what she was doing. Her face turned bright crimson and she flung the doll back at the incredulous looking Sanosuke. "Yep, definitely anatomically correct."

"You just…" Sanosuke trailed off, his face bright pink as he stared at Megumi. She didn't respond or even look at him. "I feel so violated." Sanosuke grunted, obviously shaken.

"Awkward, awkward, awkward!" Somebody hummed behind the pair to the tune of the conga. The three sitting at the table looked up quickly to see that their possible boss to be was perched on a chair behind them, singing the awkward song to herself. She coughed slightly, than looked up.

"Sorry about that. It is an awkward elves duty to announce the awkwardness of a situation in song wherever they may be." Monigue smiled seeing Megumi and Sanosuke's still pink faces. "And damn, that was awkward. I can't believe that you really just did that."

"Can we move on please?" Megumi asked, her voice strained with restraint.

"Of course. I'm Monigue, but I've already met all of you." Monigue responded, sitting on the kitchen table. " I just came by to see how you were doing and to introduce the rest of my crew." Four people entered the room, stopping to stand around Monigue in the kitchen. "The majority of you have met Sprite." Monigue smiled as she watched seven out of the ten contestants blush, twitch, or go into fetal position. "For anyone who hasn't met her, she will be your driver for all of the events." Sprite waved to everyone in the room. Everyone who had rode in the cab looked very alarmed.

"Hiya!" She smiled widely. Finally her eyes rested on Aoshi and Sanosuke. Sanosuke shifted in his seat under the unsettling gaze. Sprite smiled evilly.

"This is Ria, who is our head camera person." Ria smiled. "She is in control of the whole camera crew and runs all of the cameras in this apartment, of which there are quite a few. You will see her lurking around a lot. She does quite a good job, so there will be very little that you do that we won't know about, even if you don't see a camera." Monigue grinned.

"So what, are you watching us through cameras under our skin or something?" Sanosuke asked, grinning. Monigue turned to Ria, right eye twitching.

"They weren't supposed to know about those." Monigue said quietly through her teeth, with out moving her mouth. Ria shrugged slightly. Monigue turned back to the contestants, who had heard nothing of her exchange with Ria.

"Celtic and Bert are my business associates, who will be monitoring the two teams for every task." Monigue motioned to the blonde woman and the short man besides her. "And that's our team! Does anyone have any questions before I dive right in to the tasks?"

"I do." Sanosuke replied, holding up his doll. "What is the meaning of these thing anyways?"

"Well, besides drawing out extremely humorous reactions from people when they realize that the dolls are very… um… lifelike, they are a hint at your next task to come. Before most tasks you will find a hint of what the challenge will be about. Anyone else?"

"You sent out one cab to pick up seven people. Are you aware that I was strapped to the roof in order to make room?" Saitoh growled.

"What? Strapped to the roof? That's just silly." Monigue beamed, feigning innocence. "Anything else? Okay! Its time to divide the teams up!" Monigue snapped her fingers and ultra dramatic music came up in the background. She got up from the table. "Each team will start out with five contestants. As the game progresses and eliminations start, the teams may become in equal. If this happens, I will redistribute the contestants myself. The first teams will be gender divided with the exception of one member of the opposite sex. This one member of the opposite sex will be the first team member. I will, of course, be picking this person out." Monigue smiled.

"But hey, why would you pick the person out?" Yahiko asked. "Wouldn't it make more sense if we picked the person out ourselves?"

"Oh, it would make more sense. But I ask you this: would the sexual tension be as good?" A few eyebrows shoot up in the room. "No. No it would not be. So I get to figure out the people on the teams. Okay-dokey?" Monigue smiled evilly. A few people in the room began to sweat, recognizing that their boss was crazy.

" The only male on the all female team will be… Yahiko!" Monigue announced, looking up at the room. Yahiko looks surprised. The women in the room all look slightly disappointed. Misao leans over to Kaoru.

"Tell me how we got the guy who is arguably the least attractive in the bunch on our team? How is that good for sexual tension?" Misao whispered. Monigue pretended not to hear them, but sent a nasty glare in her direction.

"The only female on the male team will be… Megumi." Megumi smiled. All the color drained very quickly from Kenshin's face. Sanosuke began to bang his head against the table softly.

"Now you may not understand my choices now, but I assure you that you will get it all in due time." Monigue said, smiling at the group. "Now, I make my exit. Farewell!" A cloud of smoke spontaneously exploded around Monigue. The group watched as the smoke cleared around a coughing Monigue.

"We'll get special affects on that to make it real. Come on guys!" Monigue and her group left as swiftly as they'd come. The contestants all looked at each other.

"We're doomed." Yahiko blurted out. Despite the cameras trained on their faces (and the possible cameras under their skin) the whole group nodded in agreement.

AN: Well, how do you like? It wasn't that funny, but I hope you enjoyed it anyways.

Review Responses:

Clamsofmacabre: Yes, it does sound like him… I'm scared, cause most of the characters were not out of character for that chapter, despite the fact that it was going to be extremely far flung. And Saitou is just so easy to torture… I just have to get out all of my demented ideas on him.

Sprite: Chan might be more appropriate Shuichi, who seems considerably more gender confused. (Hehe.) I am definitely going to do the street performance thing, and maybe if you're lucky someone might appear…

Vem: I have no particular love or hate for Kaoru, but I actually do like Megumi a lot. Despite the fact that I toy with her and sometimes my representations of her are less than flattering, she is my favorite female characters. But it's fun to make her a slut.

Thank you to everyone else who reviewed! You peoples rock my socks.