Author's note: There is no excuse good enough for the long delay. Here are the references from the last chapter:
- " if it's not too bold to say" - from Potc
- "that's a little more information than I wanted" - from Pulp Fiction
- "…makes pure mescaline seem like ginger bear, man" - from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
- the strange voice which seems to be coming from the bean-thingies - from LotR (Gollum)
And off we go!
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--Reynaud's office. He's sitting at his desk, reading something (guess what lol)--
--Madame Rivet enters. He quickly puts his magazine in his upper desk drawer.--
-- She carries a tray with food and puts it down on his desk.--
Mme Rivet: Not hungry, Monsieur Le Comte?
Reynaud: Ummmm....
Mme Rivet: But you must eat, or you won't get tall and strong. Like your daddy.
Reynaud: (stubborn) I don't need to become tall and strong, I'm fat enough - and already a Mayor!
Mme Rivet: Oh pleeeease. Do it for meeeee.
Reynaud: (annoyed) Okay, whatever.
Mme Rivet: Good boy. (pats him on the head and leaves)
--Reynaud opens a huge drawer in his desk which is full of baguettes, croissants and several glasses of jam. He smears some jam on his chin and mouth. Then he puts the food from the tray in the drawer.--
--Later: Madame Rivet enters again. She sees the empty plates and smiles broadly.--
Mme Rivet: That's my good boy! (sees the jam on his face) Aw, and there's still jam around your mouth! (produces a handkerchief from her pocket and gently wipes his mouth. Reynaud smiles innocently. She strokes his head and then leaves with the tray. He waits a little and then takes his magazine out again with a furtive look to the door.)
--The chocolaterie. Joséphine enters and looks around nervously.--
Voice in Joséphine's head: Turn around. Turn around and get the hell out of here. Right now.
--She stands silent for a few seconds, then hurries out again.--
--Outside. She walks a few steps, then halts.--
Voice in Joséphine's head: Don't go back. Do NOT go back there.
--She hesitates, but then goes inside again.--
--In the shop. She walks to the plate with her "favorites". There are approximately 20 boxes on it. She puts box after box in her pockets.--
Vianne: (enters) Oh, a visit form the Town Retard. Hi.
Joséphine: (smiles)
--Vianne looks at the plate. Only one box is left. She looks at it for a while.--
Vianne: (thinking) I'm gonna have to have a serious talk with Ronald. This is the fifth time!!
Joséphine: I didn't steal it. (she puts her hands in her pockets and you can clearly hear the boxes rustling.)
Vianne: (thinking) Where is that weasel? (to Joséphine) Oh, I know. All saints, in this village. Anyway, how may I assist you?
Joséphine: (looks around) Umm, it's expensive. I don't waste money. (thinking) Stealing it is so much more fun...
Vianne: I have a knack for guessing people's favorites.
Joséphine: Uh-huh.
Vianne: Do you have any talents?
Joséphine: Ummm.... (ponders) well, I guess I can say I'm pretty good at shoplifting.
Vianne: Hm. (looks at Joséphine, then at the plate again, then back at Joséphine) Hm. (smiles) That's nice.
Joséphine: Anyway, I gotta go.
Vianne: All right. See ya later alligator!
Joséphine: For a while crocodile! (leaves)
--Vianne is decorating the shop window. Madame Rivet, the widow Audel and some other woman (I'll just call her Florence Leroux like that chick in my French book lol) approach and look at the window curiously. Vianne favors them with not so much as a bored glance.--
Mme Rivet: Do you think she sells instant soup, too?
Mme Leroux: I wouldn't count on it.
--Guillaume and Charlie (his dog) come walking down the street. Charlie barks angrily at Madame Audel and bites off a piece of her skirt.--
Guillaume: Charlie!!
Mme Audel: That was an old skirt anyway...
--now we only see the women from the waist up, standing next to each other. Mme Leroux is on the left. Charlie jumps "into the screen" from below and lands her chest, knocking her over. She falls "out of screen". We can't see what happens to her now. We hear a sound that may be an old woman's underskirt being ripped apart. Charlie growls. Mme Leroux screams. The other two women look to their right, surprised. Mme Audel looks down where Mme Lerous is probably lying and pulls a face.--
Mme Audel: Ouch.
Guillaume: (obviously hot for her) I'm very sorry.
--Sounds of Charlie still working on Mme Leroux--
Mme Audel: Oh, it's okay. She's a tough bitch.
Guillaume: If you say so.
Mme Audel: (Looks at Mme Leroux) Apparently that doesn't make her able to fight an old dog though. Oh well. Get up, Florence, we should go on now!
--Suddenly Charlie smells the hot chocolate Vianne is making. He gets off Mme Leroux and runs for the chocolaterie. Guillaume pulls him back on the leash. Vianne opens the door. Charlie struggles inside.--
Vianne: Hey, boy! Got something for you! (She runs to the counter and gives him chocolates. Then she turns to Guillaume) Why didn't you pull him back?
Guillaume: It was fun to watch...
Vianne: Yeah, good point. What's your name?
Guillaume: Guillaume Blérot. And this is Charlie.
Vianne: (to the dog) Nice to meet you, Charlie!
Guillaume: (looks at her expectantly)
Vianne: (gives him a what-the-hell-YOU-lookin-at look) All right. You wanna buy something for that hot little girlfriend of yours?
Guillaume: (thinks) Um, which one?
Vianne: (raises an eyebrow) The horny one.
Guillaume: Yeah, but which one?
Vianen: The one who tried to hit on you.
Guillaume: And... which one?
Vianne: Boy, you got an ego.... Screw it. Do you wanna buy something for one of them?
Guillaume: Oh no, I mustn't. They're all mourning for their husbands.
Vianne: That sucks.
Guillaume: Yeah, they died in the war.
Vianne: That was (counts on her fingers)15 years ago.
Guillaume: No, no. I'm talking about World War I. They died around 1917.
Vianne: Wow. No wonder those women are horny....
--Reynaud enters Fiffi's barber shop.--
Reynaud: Bonjour, mesdames! (yes, that's the correct plural!)
Women: Bonjour, monsieur Comte!
Woman #1: (whispering to the one next to her) That horny old bugger again...
--Mme Drou fetches the rent check and gives it to Reynaud--
Reynaud: (looks her up and down) I wish all my tenants were as hot... I mean reliable as you.
--Woman #1 and the one next to her exchange a glance and roll their eyes. He turns to leave.--
Mme Drou: How is the comtess enjoying Italy?
Reynaud: She's enjoying it so much I'm not even sure she'll ever come back. If you know what I mean... (winks at her)
Mme Drou: (not really listening) Very nice.
Reynaud: Have you seen the new shop across the square?
Mme Audel: Oh yes, the chocolaterie. (smiles)
Reynaud: Shameless, isn't it?
(The women look at each other, then back at him)
Mme Drou: Um, no. Why?
Reynaud: Well, it's time for Lent.
Mme Audel: And…?
Reynaud: Lent, chocolate? Hello?
Mme Drou: Well, it's maybe not the best time she could have chosen, but I don't see the big problem.
Mme Audel: The stuff in her shop window looks really spiffy!
Woman #1: It does!
Reynaud: You don't think it's a shame? For the christian beliefs?
Mme Drou: Not really. It's a free country, after all.
Mme Audel: Exactly.
Reynaud : Are you people INSANE??? (looks at them disbelievingly, then shakes his head and sighs)
(pause. Reynaud thinks)
Reynaud: (his face lightens up as he has an idea) But her child is illegitimate!
Mme Drou: Jeez, dude, this isn't 1487 ! It's the twentieth century ! Lots of women have illegitimate children.
Mme Audel: And I don't see how it's any of your business, anyway.
Reynaud: (stares with his mouth hanging open) (mutters) This is unbelievable. (to the women) Well, it's getting late, I should go! Bonjour!
Women: (cheerfully) Bonjour!
--Reynaud hurries outside. He walks down the street quickly.—
Reynaud: Okay, I'm going to freak right out.
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