Author's Note: Still got no excuse. And btw, it's gonna be a while until Roux comes up – sorry about that, but it's not my fault, I didn't make the movie (I would've put sooooo much more Johnny in it!). But I'll try to get there fast, okay?
You were all good at guessing the references! –hands out cookies to everyone- so here they are:
1.Voice in Joséphine's head – from Secret Window
2."I didn't steal it" – from PotC
3."Are you people insane?" – from Ed Wood (haven't I used this before? Hm. Whatever.)
4."Okay, I'm going to freak right out." – from OUATIM
So, time for the next chapter! Off we go.
((Père Henri is sweeping the snow away in the yard behind the church. He starts to whistle. He slows down and looks around. Then he starts to sing.))
Henri: He met Marmalade downin Ol' Moulin Rouge
Strutting her stuff on the street…..
((He looks around again, then begins to wiggle his hips.))
Henri: …She said 'hello, hey Joe, you wanna give it a go-OH!'
((He stops to look around again, then puts the broom up vertically and starts dancing around it like a go-go dancer.))
Henri: Giche giche yaya dada, giche giche yaya heeere
Mocca chocolata ya ya
Creole lady marmalaaaaaade (He lifts up his robe to reveal his leg, wiggling his hips, then drops it and resumes dancing)
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?
((Suddenly Reynaud comes around the corner and sees him. He raises an eyebrow and grins.))
Henri: (not seeing him) Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?
Reynaud: Unfortunately, I have plans tonight. But I'm free tomorrow!
((Henri stops immediately and turns around, totally shocked. Reynaud is still grinning.))
Henri: Uhm… uh… I… uh…
Reynaud: Well?
Henri: (stutters some more)
Reynaud: (laughs) I was just joking.
Henri: Oh. I see. I'm sorry.
Reynaud: You'll get used to it. How long have you been with us?
Henri: Five weeks.
Reynaud: Now, your predecessor, Père Michel, it took him like five months to get my jokes. And for the next five decades, there was no problem! He never sang about whores in the backyard of the church though.
Henri: (shy and embarassed smile) Yeah, sorry about that.
Reynaud: Anyway, I looked at your sermon. (hands it to Henri) This is just bad writing. (pause) This is bad writing.
Henri: (looks at the paper unhappily)
Reynaud: So you know what to do.
Henri: (hesitates, reluctant look)
Reynaud: Just do it.
Henri: (sighs and tears it in two)
Reynaud: No… (Henri tears it again) ….bad…. (Henri tears it again) …writing. (he smiles and looks at Henri) I think that solves it. (turns away, then suddenly turns back) Oh, one more thing. If you haven't seen the new chocolaterie, perhaps you might like to take a look. The chick who runs it is SO hot.
Henri: What?
Reynaud: Four months to go, pal.
((The chocolaterie. Anouk leaves for school.))
Vianne: Hey, where's my kiss?
Anouk: (turns to her) I'm afraid I've lost it. Too bad! (runs off and bumps right into Armande) (to Armande, annoyed) Watch where you're going!
Armande: (indignant) I beg your pardon? (but Anouk is already gone.) (she enters the shop)
Vianne: Ah, good morning!
Armande: What do you mean? Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?
Vianne: Wow, somebody who read 'The Hobbit'. Do you expect me to invite you to sit down outside with a pipe of tobacco now?
Armande: Thanks, but I don't smoke. (pause) What's the décor? Toys R Us, teddy department?
Vianne: (stunned) Yes, how did you know that?
Armande: (shrugs)
Vianne: You know, they used to burn women like you alive. (closes the door)
((Armande goes to sit on a stool. Vianne runs to help her.))
Armande: When I need help, I ask for it!
Vianne: Okay, fine! (walks behind the counter and starts wiping it casually. She hums.)
((Armande tries to sit down on the stool. She loses her balance, the stool starts to tilt and in the end Armande falls off onto the floor. Vianne smirks. Armande slowly gets up, panting. Vianne pretends not to notice. Armande tries to put the stool up again, but it is too heavy for her to lift. Vianne is trying hard not to laugh. Armande looks at the stool for a moment, then sighs and looks at Vianne.))
Armande: Help?
Vianne: (keeps wiping the counter, then looks up innocently at Armande, startled) Oh, I'm sorry, what did you say?
Armande: (glares at her suspiciously) I need help.
Vianne: Oh, really. Who would have thought. (puts the stool up and helps Armande onto it.)
((Vianne spins the plate. Armande gives her a quizzical look.))
Vianne: What do you see in it?
Armande: Not a damn thing.
Vianne: Hey, no swearing in my house!
Armande: (rolls eyes)
Vianne: Come on, you gotta see something.
Armande: Like it or not, I don't.
Vianne: Wow, your eye doctor sucks, huh? Well, I've got just a thing for you. (takes a brown carrot-shaped thing from a shelf and hands it to Armande)
Armande: What the hell is that?
Vianne: No swearing, remember?
Armande: Whatever.
Vianne: It's a chocolate carrot. Inside carrot, outside chocolate! And carrots are good for the eyes.
Armande: (stares at her unbelievingly) Great….Thanks.
((They are silent for a while.))
Armande: That little girl of yours, does she mind it?
Vianne: Oh, she hardly notices. I usually wait until she sleeps before I drink.
Armande: Uh… I was talking about all the moving around.
Vianne: Oh that… Well, she's doing fine. It's good for her, seeing new places and meeting new people. (pause) You gonna eat that carrot or not?
Armande: All right! (she takes a bite and chews) Tastes like….. carrot and chocolate! EW!
Vianne: I'll make you something else. (she opens a cupboard and considers the stuff inside. Finally she picks a packet of instant soup.)
Armande: Yay!
((The schoolyard. Anouk is fighting with some kids who are teasing her about Ronald. The teacher comes and grabs her.))
Teacher: Anouk, in this school we are civilized. We don't fight with people who are weaker than us! I mean, look at them – they are wimps!
Anouk: I noticed.
Teacher: Anyway, I have to punish you. Didi, Dedou, Dadaa, Dodo, Dayday, Dudu and Pierre, come along!
((The teacher puts them in the classroom.))
Teacher: And be quiet!
Didi: Where is Ronald?
Anouk: (rolls eyes) Oh you are so funny.
Dedou: My mother says you don't have a father.
Anouk: Apparently your mother doesn't know squat about biology.
Tadaaaaa! So much for now :) Hope you enjoyed it. Please review! You're my motivation! Luv y'all!
