So much left unsaid

Disclaimer: Not mine - never were, never will be.

A/N: This is again some Joan/ Kevin bonding...and just a short one. Sorry guys! Hope you like it anyway.

The Fire and the Wood

Making Her Cry

(Joan comes home after her talk with Little-Girl-God in the park)

Joan slowly walked home from the park, remembering Kevin's angry leaving and God's words that they all should abide to the rules. She had stopped crying but her eyes were still red when she arrived at their house and entered.

Without talking to anybody she went upstairs in her room, closed the door, threw her bag in a corner and lay down on her bed, trying to stop thinking about what Kevin had said and how much it had hurt to see him like that.

She'd really thought that things had gotten better, but now? It had been a long time since he'd made her cry, but today... she'd felt so badly for saying that stupid thing about normal persons and Kevin's reaction to it had just made her cry. Maybe, if they hadn't started to grow closer again the last days, it wouldn't have been so bad, but with all this closeness, the talks they'd had...

It was hard for him, she knew that, it was hard that even though nobody wanted to, everybody treated him differently. Sighing she sat up again, picked up her headphones and was about to put them on to listen to some music, when there was a knock at the door.

"Yeah?" she shouted, happy enough that the door had been enough of a border to cause somebody to knock.

The door opened and she saw Kevin entering. He looked at her carefully and asked, "May I come in?"

Joan looked at him hesitantly. "I'm not sure. Are you gonna explode again?"

Kevin wheeled closer and stopped next to her bed. "Are you okay?" he asked quietly.

She shrugged. "You scared me. Sometimes I just don't know how to deal with you. I guess you know I didn't mean it this way and still..."

He looked down on his hands in his lap and said, "I don't know why I reacted so harshly. I always complain about everybody treating me differently and when you don't make a difference, I start acting so mean." He inhaled audibly and continued, "I'm sorry, Joan. I really didn't want to make you cry. I was just so..." He didn't finish his sentence, looked at her again for a second and looked down again. "I'm not good at saying I'm sorry, you know that, don't you?"

Joan sighed inaudibly and moved closer to Kevin until she sat on the edge of the bed, facing him. "Yeah," she smiled carefully, "I know. I think this is the first apology I ever got from you."

Kevin nodded. "Yeah, I think so too. Look, I'm really sorry and if there's anything..."

Joan shook her head. "Forget it, okay? It's been a horrible day for all of us and I just want to forget about it. Grace and Adam are coming over soon and we have to somehow finish this chemistry homework that's due tomorrow. There's really enough going on in my life right now, I really don't need us to be mad at each other."

"I shouldn't always get you into the middle of all of this," Kevin said.

"Kev, we're family. We're always in the middle of each other," Joan explained. "That's what it's all about. But maybe you should consider moving?"

"Moving?" Kevin asked surprised, not knowing what she was talking about. "Like – back home? Alone?"

"Arcadia would be okay I guess," Joan said. "Just leave Pityville."

Kevin grinned. "Arcadia sounds good. I could live with you guys."

"Yeah," Joan smiled. "We're fun people to live with and we have this house and everything..." She stopped, inhaled deeply and obviously fought with tears.

"Hey..." Kevin said softly, "What's wrong? You okay?"

"I don't know," Joan sobbed, tears again running over her face. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I really don't want to cry, but I'm just so... I don't know..."

"Please stop crying," Kevin pleaded. "I'm already feeling bad about making you cry earlier, please stop crying!"

Joan looked at the ceiling, trying to keep the tears in her eyes, but when she looked back at her brother they were again running freely.

"I'm sorry," Kevin said almost whispering. "I'm really sorry."

Joan shook her head and said, "It's not your fault, stop apologizing."

"But it is my fault," Kevin insisted. "I'm making you cry, there's nobody else here."

Joan looked at him again, leaned forward and reached out her arms until Kevin understood, smiled and pulled her into a hug. "Everything's gonna be okay," he whispered. "I promise."

Nodding, Joan held him tight until they heard a knock at the front door. "Guess that's Grace and Adam," Kevin said, releasing the hug.

"Yeah," Joan said. "I'll have to open them. Thanks, Kev."

He smiled, "Thank you."

A/N: Thanks for reading this far. And I promise: no Joan/ Kevin bonding in the next one. It's time for somebody else to appear in this fic. ;-)