Chapter 1 of book the 3rd, The White Window

Josephine "E." Mode drove them through the security gates onto the grounds of her home. It was an enormous mansion in modern style, on the shore of a dreary-looking lake.

"Velcome to my zummer cottage, dahlinks. Now, I vill need to varn you about zome things in ze house," Josephine told them. "First, ze doors. Never touch ze glass doorknops. Only push gently on ze wood, and ze door vill open."

"Why?" asked Dash.

"Because I am afraid if you touch ze doorknops zey vill explode and ze glass vill go into your eyeballs," said Josephine.

"That doesn't seem like a very reasonable fear," said Violet gently.

"Oh, but it is. I haff booby-trapped zem to do zat myself," said Josephine. "I must alvays watch out for fashion thieves, zo I zet traps for zem. Just ze other day, two fashion thieves came to ze door pretending to be realtors. I drove zem away vith atomic cannons hidden in ze lawn sprinklers!"

"Geep!" said Jack-Jack, meaning "This is a scary place for a baby to be."

The children entered the house cautiously, hardly daring to touch anything.

"I zuppose you must be hungry. Children alvays are," Josephine said. "Come vith me to ze kitchen."

"Oh yes, we haven't had a good hot meal in days," said Violet.

"Vell, I cannot do ze 'hot' meal. I haff booby-trapped the stove to explode if anyone touches it. One cannot be too zafe."

"I think one can," muttered Violet under her breath.

"Cold food's fine with me," said Dash, heading toward the refrigerator.

"Ah-ah-ah!" said Josephine quickly. "Don't touch the refrigerator. It vill fall over on you and crush you flat!"

"Another booby trap?" asked Violet.

"Yes... Imagine a fashion design thief came zneaking in here. Before zey start to loot, zey decide to get a midnight snack. Zen, WHAM! I got zem!"

"Where do you keep the food, then?" Dash asked.

"In zis ice-chest under ze sink. I vill make you all some nice cold cucumber zoup," said Josephine.

As she prepared the food, Josephine asked, "Zo, do you haff any luggage? Any clothes?"

"No," said Violet. "Our house burned down and we lost everything. Then Count Buddy took our only regular clothes. All we have to wear is these costumes."

"Zis is outrageous!" said Josephine. "Tomorrow, ve must get you some proper clothings to wear. Good fashion is ze most important zing in life. But is too late tonight ven you are zo tired. Eat ze zoup."

The children were so hungry that even cold cucumber soup tasted good.

"Now time for bed," Josephine announced. "Tomorrow we do ze fashion."

On the way to the upstairs bedroom, they passed through a living room with a large picture window. Oddly enough, it had been painted over in solid white.

"Why is that window painted white?" asked Dash.

"It looks out onto ze Lackluster Lake, and I cannot stand to be reminded of zat," said Josephine sadly. "Years ago, my huzband lost his life zere to zome nasty lake leeches. He vent svimming too soon after eating, and ze leeches smelled ze food on him. Now I neffer want to look at ze lake again, or even ze little island, Aargh Isle, vere we camped in a cave in happier days."

She shook her head, and sighed. All of them continued upstairs to the guest bedroom.

"Any booby traps in here?" Dash asked.

"No, but be careful of ze toothbrushes in ze guest bathroom," Josephine advised.

"What do they do?" Violet asked.

"You don't vant to know," said Josephine.

As Josephine about to go, Violet suddenly had an awful thought. She turned to the others.

"Do you think Syndrome thinks we're dead? If he does, he might kill Dad and Mom!" she said.

The other two Parrs gasped. They hadn't thought of that.

"E," Violet called. "Is there any way you can get out the word to the media that we're alive?"

"Publicity is what I do best, dahlink," said Josephine. "I will tell zem you are alive and vell and staying vith me." She headed down the hall to the phone.

"Count Buddy will come after us again," said Dash.

"We want him to," said Violet. "We have to make him tell us what he's done with our parents."

The children had a restless night in spite of their tiredness, worrying about Syndrome and what he would try next. And of course, they were entirely right to worry.