Greetings, readers.
visualpurple: your booby trap worked!
Shocking-Sour: You'll find "Operation Marvelous Mirage" in the early chapters. Not a wedding, but they had to act as sidekicks under a threat to Jack-Jack.
Nini: wait and see.
Thanks Nina Wyndia, Dark Moon Sabbath, ChoFrog09, baudelaireobsesserVFD, and anyone I may have missed, for your encouraging reviews.
Chapter 2 of Book the 3rd, Window-shopping
In the morning, after a cold breakfast, Josephine said, "Ze wezzer report zays a big ztorm is comink, zo ve must hurry to ze zhopping mall."
"Thank you for buying us new clothes," Violet said. "We could really use them."
"Ve vill not be buyink!" said Josephine sharply. "Vards of 'E' Mode, to appear in public in ztore-bought clothes? No, ve go to look at ze fashions for people your age. Zen I vill know vhat not to do."
"Gloof!" said Jack-Jack, meaning, "It will be good to get out of this crazy house for a while, anyway."
At the mall, Josphine took them to one clothing outlet after another, gasping and shuddering at the fashion mistakes. The children stayed close to her, a little embarassed to be shopping in superhero suits.
"Vill you look at zat! Ze outfit has a ztriped skirt and a checked blouse! Unthinkable! Ze designer zhould be zhot!"
As they were looking in the store window, a man in a bright green superhero costume approached them. There was a large four-leaf-clover emblem on his chest. His cowl covered the top of his head and a green mask covered his eyes, but the children felt there was something oddly familiar about him.
"Begorrah, if it isn't just the person I wanted to find! The famous 'E' Mode, it is!" he said in a thick brougue.
Josephine said, "Vhy yes, zat is me. And you are...?"
"An Irish superhero I am, Captain Shamrock's the name. But me friends call me Captain Sham for short."
"I know all the zupers. Vhy haff I neffer heard of you?" asked Josephine.
"Because he's a fake!" muttered Dash.
"Ah, I didn't last long in the hero game, Ma'm. My very first mission, me cape got caught in a jet engine and it was nearly the end of me. Lost me leg from it," said Captain Sham. He showed them a wooden left leg.
"Aha!" said Josephine, "Vhen will zey listen to me? No capes, I tell zem. Dynaguy, Stratogirl, Metaman, Thunderhead, zey all died from ze capes!"
"I'm willing to listen, M'am. Now that supers are making a comeback, I'm ready to give it another go. It's just that... this costume, 'tis a wee bit out-of-date..."
"It is a hobo zuit!" announced Josephine.
"As you say, M'am. But with a brilliant, wonderful designer such as yourself helping me, I'd feel a real hero again."
"Vhy Captain Zham, you have ze Irish gift of ze gab. You know how to turn a phrase."
"Aye, and I can flip it over and rub it down. That's if you want me to, M'am." said Captain Sham.
"I know who you are!" Dash broke in. "Take off that mask and I'll prove it!"
Josephine gasped. "You neffer ask a zuper to take off his mask in public! It just isn't done! Please forgiff ze child, Captain Zham. He's been through a lot lately."
Captain Sham bowed. As he did, a paralysis ray concealed in his cowl activated and froze the three Incredibles in place!
"Aye, I forgive the lad," said Sham. "Young folk get excitable sometimes. Now, will you help with me costume problem?"
"Of course, of course! Come vith me to my ztudio and I vill take your measurements. Ta-ta, children. Haff fun looking around ze mall. I vill be back zoon!" said Josephine.
She walked away with Captain Shamrock, oblivious to the fact that the three Parrs were stuck in place.
It was over an hour before the paralysis ray wore off and the children could move again.
"Captain Sham!" snarled Dash. "Count Buddy in disguise again! Why didn't you help me get him, Vi?"
"I wasn't sure at first," said Violet. "Masks are so good at hiding secret identities. That's why supers use them."
"Gleese!" said Jack-Jack, which meant "We've got to save Josephine!"
Using the rolling force-ball trick again, the three raced back to Josephine's mansion. The gates were standing open and there was no sign of either Josephine or Sham.
In the living room they found the white window broken, as if someone had crashed through it and fallen into the lake below. Taped to the window was a note. Violet read the note aloud:
"To whom it may concern: I cannot go on. Grief over my late husband has overwhelmed me. I leave Captain Shamrock in charge of everything. Children: as my last act I have made you three outfits. Use them well. Signed, Josephine Mode."
"That note's a total fake," said Dash in disgust. "Syndrome forced her to write it."
"Ooofits!" said Jack-Jack, which meant, "Look at those strange outfits!"
Standing in a row by the broken window were three clothing dummies, one for each of their sizes. Apparently these were three civilian outfits Josephine designed for them.
"There's something strange about this," said Violet. "My outfit has a pinstriped skirt but the blouse has a check pattern. At the mall she said a designer who mixed checks and stripes should be shot."
"Yeah, and look at mine," said Dash. "Solid colors except for these socks with a stupid pattern on them."
"Argle!" said Jack-Jack.
"Yes, Jack-Jack those are argyle socks," Violet said. "And your clothes are puffy all over except the chest. It has a caved-in look."
Dash blurted out, "Maybe these mistakes are a message!"
"Checks... argyle... caved in," said Violet slowly. "Check Aargh Isle Cave!"
"The cave she told us about where she and her husband used to camp. That's it!" said Dash.
"She must be hiding there," said Violet.
"But where's Count Buddy?" asked Dash.
"He'd expect us to come here and read this note, and lately he's been trying to kill us, so..." Violet started to say.
"Trahp!" said Jack-Jack.
And then... the house exploded all around them.
