CrYsTaLsNoW: Helloness!! ^.^ yea, we decided to update this again while we're waiting for a friend to come over....she's a bit late (cHrRyBlSsM: A BIT?!), and we're bored, so why not? Oh, and by the way, We don't own Gundam Wing or Pokemon.

cHrRyBlSsM: yea, I'm here tooooooo. I'm gonna kill her when she gets over here (omae o korosu), so yea, before she gets here, here we goooo....

chap. 5 ~ On the Road to becoming a MASTER

His vision blurred as he regained consciousness. As it began to focus, Wufei saw a familiar redhead hovering over him.
"*pause* AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO - " Misty shook her head, smiling.
"Stupid guy." She swooped down and covered his lips with an unmistakable kiss. Wufei's onyx eyes widened, as his mind went frozen. ALT + CTRL + DELETE (do ya get it?? ish like a computer, hehe). The pilot's face didn't change expression as the silence stretched between him and the smiling Misty.
He smirked, "Stupid onna, you have horrible timing. What did I tell you about that?" He froze suddenly (no, not like a computer) into a wild look. He vigorously wiped his mouth, "ACK!! NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO **BLEH!!** NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO!!!! A WEAK ONNA JUST KISSED ME!!!!!! NONONONONONONONONONONONONONO!!!!"
Misty looked furious, "What have I told YOU about calling me weak?! I have a name you know, and it's not 'onna' it's MISTY, YOU JERK!!!!" She was about to punch him across the face, when Duo suddenly popped in beside her, giggling uncontrollably.
"Wufei and Misty sittin' in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes LOVE, then comes MARRIAGE, then comes the BABY in the BABY CARRIAGE!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! ...Ewww, I'd hate to see your kids.... AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA - Even worse, I'd hate to see you DOING it...... **thinks about it** ........AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
Simultaneously blushing furiously, the two turned around to face Duo.

"SHUT UP!!"
Duo finished off a giggle and said, "Haha, WHATEVER, let's get going, it's already lunch time and WE NEED TO CATCH 'EM ALL!!!" With those final words, he turned his back and ran off to find Heeeeeeeeeeeeee-chan.
"Wow, he's actually going to be late for lunch," Wufei snorted.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ **Elevator music blares happily in background**

Duo: Hola mi amigos!!

Trowa (tonelessly): Bonjour.

Quatre: åÊÇÝ ááÊÑÍíÈ (Arabic) (sry if it came out screwed up)

Heero: Konnichiwa.

Wufei (reluctantly): Nee-hao.

Everyone except Trowa: ............

**Everyone turns to stare at Trowa**

Duo: Dude, Trowa talked!!

Quatre: **in tears** I'M SO PROUD OF YOU!!!

Wufei: You. Are. So. WEAK. REAL MEN do NOT cry.

**Trowa sneaks up behind Wufei and punches him unconscious**

Trowa: .........

Heero: Good riddance. Get on with the commercial Duo.

Duo: 'kay 'kay my dear.

**Everyone sweatdrops** (except for Quatre who says AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW)

Duo: ANYWAYS. We're advertising GAY BUMPER STICKERS!!!!! Don't be afraid to show your pride!!!!

Heero: ....And they're purple too.

Quatre: .....**GASP** REALLY?! I WANT ONE!!!! **Tugs on Trowa's sleeve* Ne? Tro-kun?

Trowa: ...... **walks up to the cash register and hands the cashier dude some money**

**CACHING**

Quatre: Cool, it says "Purple Pride"!!! Let's put it on my Lamborghini Murciélago!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Duo: hehe...and I'm putting it on my Ferrari 575 M Maranello!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Everyone sweatdrops, thinking, "Are those even real cars??!"**

Wufei: What the $%&^???? YOU #$@% WEAK &*^% PEOPLE!!! BUYING &*%#$% PURPLE BUMPER STICKERS!!!!!!

Duo: Dude, I thought we knocked him out....

Heero: Pity.

Quatre: Duo, aren't we advertising this? So where's the number and stuff?? And how much???

Duo: Oh yea, about that. Ummm...let's see..**looks down on a purple post- it note** Uhhh...ok, for each one it costs like a bajillion dollars, and if you want one call our handy dandy gay company at: 1-800-P-U-R-P-L-E-N-E- S-S.

Quatre: **flips out his wallet and accidentally smashes Wufei's nose** OH ALLA!!! I'M SO SORRY WUFEI!!

Wufei: **clutching his bleeding nose** No you're not....

Quatre: ....true.... **Everyone sweatdrops** Anyway, how much is that in dirhams??? (That's Arabic currency/money)

Wufei: What the $%^& do you HAVE in that wallet????

Quatre: Oh. What do I have in this one? 'Cause I've got like 29 more at home...one from each sister....Um, anyways, what do I have in THIS one? **opens wallet** I've got...money..duh...my keys, and I've got like fifty keys, 'cause I've got like fifty mansions around the world... **Everyone sweatdrops**

Duo (turns to Trowa): How do you memorize which key goes which what mansion?

Trowa: .....

Quatre(continues to ramble on):...and then I've got 29 pictures, one for each sister **flips out row of pictures, which tumbles down to the floor in a long never-ending line**...and then...I've got my good luck charm...but you don't need to know what that is... ummmm....ahhh...a packet of dried, preserved food, ya know, in case I'm stranded in the desert or something.....oh, and my compass, 'cause my sisters are all so worried that I'm gonna get lost, I mean, come on, it's just sand and sun out in the desert, it's not THAT hard...

Heero: Guys, the directors' waving at us, and she's mouthing something...I can't tell....

**Directors waving hands madly, jumping up and down, as if insane**

Quatre: Hm?

Wufei: Argh, it's those @#$%^ weak women again....

Duo: I tink they're saying the time's up or -

**STATIC**

CrYsTaLsNoW: Ummm...yea, ummm....ugh, i can't believe i'm saying this.....uh, yea, you guys, just in case you don't know, the Purple Bumper Stickers aren't REAL so PLEASE don't call the Purpleness company.....yea....

~~~~~~~~~~~~
"POKEBALL GO!!!" Duo screamed madly. Everyone has their heads bowed and hands over their ears. They had just finished lunch, and of course, Duo insisted on starting to "Catch 'Em All"....much to everyone's dismay....
The pokeball shook, and the lil' button thingy in the middle flashed and beeped. However, the Ditto popped out of the ball with ease. Ash smacked his forehead,
"Hey, you're suppose to weaken it first..." Duo turned to him, flipped out his gun and put on a malicious smile.
"Ok...." He turned back around to face the pinkish blob that was squeaking on the grass.
"The God of Death shall be your downfall.....MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH AHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AAHHAHAHAH...." Wufei kicked him in the shin, and abruptly Duo stopped his chant and gazes tearfully at him.
"**sniff** YOU'RE SO MEAN!!!" Wufei snorted.
"I am not."
"Meanie."
"Am not"
"Are too."
"Am not"
"Are too."
"Am NOT"
"Are TOO!" Quatre coughed nervously, and the two bickering G-Boys turned to him.
"WHAT???!!!" Frightened from the outburst, Quatre points in the other direction and whispers weakly,
"Umm...the Ditto left awhile ago..."
Duo's eyes widened in dispair and then quickly into anger, as he swung his head violently to face his fellow overly proud/last member of Dragon Clan/has issues with women, Chinese pilot. However, as his head quickly turned, the momentum had gained in his braid, which contacted with Wufei's nose.
"WHAT THE HELL?! WHAT IS IT WITH WEAK PEOPLE AND HITTING MY NOSE!!! THIS IS INJUST!!! THIS IS..."
"Weak..." Everyone said monotonously.
"YES!! AND I CANNOT DEAL WITH YOU ARROGANT SON OF A..."
"Bitch..."
"YES!!!! AND I, WUFEI CHANG, THE LAST OF THE - "
"Dragon Clan..."
"YES!!!!!! SHALL PUNISH HIM AND BRING HIM TO - "
"Justice...."
"YES!!!!"
Quatre's temper was reaching his end (that's saying a lot), and he forcefully muttered, "Wufei?"
"YES?!!!"
"Shut the hell up."
Everyone gasped and whirled, eyes goggling at the obscene language coming from gentle, SOPHISTICATED, kind-hearted Quatre.
"Wow..." Duo whispered hauntedly.
"Um, I hate to break up the party, but can we get a move on? We're about ten days behind what we had planned...." Brock said slowly, not wanting to endanger his life.
"Yea...I haven't gotten any Johto badges yet, and I bet Gary's got like fifty bajilion badges already..." Ash murmured under his breath.
"There's no such word as 'bijilion' nitwit," Misty retorted.
"Whatever." Ten days later....
"WE STILL HAVEN'T GOTTEN ANYWHERE!!!!" A few more days later...
"WE NEEEEED TO GET A MOVE ON!!!" The day after that....
"OKAY!!! TODAY IS THE DAY!!!!" A week after that....
"OKAY SOLDIER!!! MOVE THAT BIG, GAY, USED BUTT OF YOURS!!"
"Used? What do you mean by used?"
Misty groaned, eyes rolling in dispair, "OoooOOoh boy..." Two days after that....
"ALRIGHT!!!!....oh, why do I even try...?" The day after that...IN THE GYM.
Ash looked around at the blaring spotlights hanging from the hundered foot ceiling, "Wow, we're actually here."
"You just had to make that rest stop, didn't you Duo?" Heero asked.
"WELL, when you got to go you got to go, and I REALLY had to go."
Everyone sweatdropped.
"Yeah, well, you were in there for a long time..." Heero said thoughtfully.
Falder gazed at the huge mob gathered at the entrance of the gym. "Which one of you is going to battle me?"
Duo's eyebrows quirked anxiously as shouted triumphantly, "I AM!!"
Ash turned to Duo, face set, "NO! I came all this way, and it was YOU who was holding me up all this time, and YOU who went potty in the middle of the woods so many times and YOU who decided to have horny thoughts in the middle of the bushes!!!"
Quatre blushed a furious red, for unknowingly to Ash, he and his beautiful Tro-kun too had those "thoughts"...
"SO I WILL BATTLE FALDER, END OF STORY!!!" Falder whispered feebly,
"I would like to have this battle today please..."
Duo smirked, the rusty gears in his brain turning, "Obviously there is only one way to solve this!!"
Everyone sweatdropped, and made a frantic run towards the fence outside of the gym, afraid that Duo would unleash the very pit of Hell, releasing granades, guns, and only the God of Death knows what else...
"ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS!!!"
Ash raised his eyebrows in question, with his familiar, I'm-going-to- beat-you-look, but nodded, DETERMINED, "Alright."
Everyone else, who had taken refuge behind the thankfully SOLID fence, listened attentively, hearing nothing...
"Are they dead?" Quatre asked in a hushed whisper.
Brock and Misty stared at him in horror. Wufei grunted angrily, "Why the hell am I taking refuge behind a weak fence?! I am -"
Heero gave Wufei a death glare, silencing him. Heero slowly stood up, eyes barely over the fence, and loud shouting voices were heard.
"ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS-"
With the last word, Duo pulled out a mini-gun, and maliciously murmured, "Shoot."
Brock and Misty ran out from their shelter, towards the limp body of the forever ten-year-old boy that's been in like fifty bajilion series and never seems to grow up. GEEZ, WHAT ABOUT PUBERTY MAN?! IT WOULD MAKE IT MORE INTERESTING!!! WHAT ABOUT HORMONES??! **GASP** WHAT DO THEY DO WHEN WE'RE NOT THERE??? DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN. **ahem** Where were we? Oh yes...
"WHAT DID YOU DO?!!!" Misty shrieked frantically.
"Ah, don't worry," Duo said casually, rolling his eyes.
"DON'T WORRY?! DON'T WORRY!!!!?? YOU JUST SHOT HIM YOU IDIOT!!! OH MY GOD!!!"
"**ahem**, that's God of Death thank you, and besides, I didn't think it was his time yet, so I just thought it'd be easier to shoot him with a tranquilizer gun..."
Everyone facefaults, and Falder sweatdrops, watching the violent scene, having a slight sense that he was being ignored.
Duo stepped into the little box outlined with cheap playground chalk, feet set firmly in the loose dirt. Dust swirled furiously around everyone, making eyes water and mad coughing sounding through the arena like a dying donkey. (donkey=ass in Shakespearean words....hehe). "I am the Shinigami, and I will **cough, COUGH, COUGH, COUGH, COUGH**"
Falder stared into the air, picking his ear with his pinky, ignoring the American. "Uh huh..."
"**HACK HACK HACK**"
"That's nice" Falder took out a mini pokeball from his pocket and pressed the lil' white button thingy and it grew into a regular sized ball. (Everyone: OoooOOOoooOOo!! AAAaaaAAh!!)
"Go Pidgeotto!!!" The bird formed in a flash of light.
"DUDE!!! HOW DO YOU GUYS DO THAT???!! THAT WAS SOOO KNARLY MAN!!!" Duo sang shrilly.
"You sound like surfer...who has a lack of education." Wufei muttered.
"DUDE!!"
"Send out your pokemon." Falder said with his I'm-a-leader-so-do- what-I-say-right-NOW voice. Duo turned to face him, with a confused expression.
"Hm? What Pokemon??" Falder sweatdropped and dropped his head in a hopeless expression.
"Please tell me you have Pokemon..."
"I just wanted to win at Rock, Paper, Scissors. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! THE GOD OF DEATH IS THE MASTER OF THE MIGHTY ROCK, PAPER, AND SCISSOR GAME!!! MWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!" The orchestra behind the stands crecendoed with its famous Pokemon battle theme. Falder sighed,
"What did I do to deserve this..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

cHrRyBlSsM: hehe, we're leavin' a cliffy rite there.... I know we haven't been around for quite awhile, so....

CrYsTaLsNoW: yea...so we're kinda out of practice, but hey, I hope you guys enjoy it anyway....hehe ^.^;

cHrRyBlSsM: REVIEW!!! hehe....

~~~~~~~~~~~~ cHrRyBlSsM: Because we've been gone for so long, we feel like you guys deserve this lil' SMALL side story....it's got to do with current events, so I hope you've all been watching the news....

CrYsTaLsNoW: Yup, we watched this lil' particular event on the Student News on CNN. heheheheheheee, hope you guys enjoy it, and PLEASE REVIEW!!!!

Heero peacefully sipped his coffee, sunlight streaming through the open windows of the Winner Mansion, where everyone had decided to (as the teenage lingo would say) "crash."
Duo bounced into the room, newspaper (purely 100% recycled paper) in his mouth, like those dumb brainless dogs that fetch the paper for their masters, wagging their tail, not realizing the amount of ink seeping into their mouth. Heero gazed at his lover, eyebrows raised in a questioning manner.
"Duo, get the paper out of your mouth, it's disgusting. Besides, I don't want a newspaper-flavored kiss..."
Quatre, who was sitting in the same room, nodded strongly, and then thought for a few seconds, then blushed.
Trowa said...errr...said nothing, "...."
Duo sniffed the air and removed the soggy paper from his mouth and began to flip through its damp pages.
There was silence in the air for a few minutes, when suddenly Duo piped up, "Hey, Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-chan?"
"Hn?"
"Let's go to San Francisco!!"
"Why?"
"The mayor and Mr. Governator is fighting it out for gay and lesbian rights, and right now, they're allowing gay marriages!!"
"Are you proposing?" Everyone looks up expectantly, but then quickly looked down, knowing very well about Duo's style of surprises. Quatre glanced around him, half-expecting a full-blown orchestra complete with Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake singing some kind of "hip" love song, which in his opinion half the time, screamed of sex...

"Baka..." Wufei muttered quietly, face turning green, imagining their marriage.
Duo blushed, and looked down at the floor, turning his foot in circles. "Ummm....OH FORGET IT!!!" He jumped from his chair and glomped Heero, "MARRY MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"
Heero gave Duo a skeptical look, and Duo added beggingly, giving him puppy dog eyes "Please?" Heero rolled his eyes,
"Ok...." Duo's face came alight with joy, and he joyfully pranced around the room like a little easter bunny, while Wufei muttered,
"That was the most pitiful proposal I've ever seen..." Quatre glanced at him questioningly and tentatively asked,
"Umm, Wufei, what do you KNOW about proposals??" He smiled as the Chinese boy blushed as he remembered his former wife Nataku. Duo continued to dance screaming loudly,
"WE'RE GONNA GET MARRIED, WE'RE GONNA GET MARRIED!!!!!" Heero glared at his bouncing lover and said monotonously,
"But first, you're gonna get a ring and then get down on your knees and do it properly..."
"OKIE!!!.....Um, Quatre?"
"Hm?"
"Can I borrow some cash?"
"Why?"
"I spent all my money on booze last night..."
"Say no more," Quatre sighed as he pulled out his wallet #23, smacking Wufei on the nose.
"WHAT THE HELL?!! blah blah blah" And as Wufei started another "What the Hell??!!" speech, everyone turned away and tuned him out. Later that day...
Duo inhaled deeply, a pressed suit firmly on his shoulders, and slowly bent down on one knee, in front of his still-in-spandex-shorts-and- green-tank-top lover. He cleared his throat, and before he could get the words out, Heero stated, "You're not drunk right?"
"Hee-chan, you just COMPLETELY ruined the moment!!....By the way, why do you ask?"
"Because you smell like booze, and besides, we're not just going to go down to Vegas for our honeymoon, and divorce the next morning right?" Duo gave him a questioning glance and Heero elaborated,
"I saw it in the news last night, and Britney Spears was acting like an idiot again and somehow, someway married a guy obliviously and then divorced him the next day."
"Wow, she's a lot stupider than I thought." And everyone nods in the background. While the two-now engaged fiances talked it out, Quatre shyly turned to his lover who was watching the amusing scene.
"Ano...Tro-kun?"
"....."
"Umm....well..."
"....."
"You...mean everything to me...and I've always wanted to be by your side no matter what happens....so...eto....so...I thought it would be nice to make it official.....Will you marry me?"
"..." **nods** Quatre's eyes glisten with tears of happiness. However, unfortunately Duo overheard this touching speech and shrieks
"OH WOW!!! WE CAN MAKE THIS A DOUBLE MARRIAGE!!!! OH THIS IS GOING TO BE SO MUCH FUN..." Wufei groans and smacks his forehead with his hand.
"...One gay marriage was torturous enough, but TWO?!!!" Heero glared at him but instead of giving his famous 'Omae wa korosu' quote, he said,
"Hn. Let's go to San Francisco before the Terminator bans gay marriages."

~~~~~~~~~~~