Calvin's eyes slid open.
His eyes fixed on Hobbes.
"Where are you and who am I?" he muttered, stupidly.
"I think you mean Who are you, and where am I, don't you?" said Hobbes.
"Oh I remember, now! You're Hobbes, welcome back, buddy how was Europe?"
Hobbes stared at Calvin.
"Calvin, I've never gone to Europe. You have recently fainted, and you're still half asleep."
"yes, of corse. Stop moving your lips, it hurts my ears." Calvin said.
he got up, stretched, then his eyes came into focus, and the events of the noodles came rushing back to him.
"HOBBES I DIDN'T DO IT! YOU HAVE NO CASE! YOU CAN'T PROVE A THING! I KNOW NOTHING OF THE ROTTING NOODLES THAT WERE PUT IN EVERYONE'S LUNCH! "
Calvin fainted again.
Hobbes rolled his eyes.
"I was expecting that." he said.
He walked up to Calvin, and poured a bucket of water over his face.
SPLASH!
Calvin's eyes shot open.
"HOBBES I DIDN'T DO IT! YOU HAVE NO CASE! YOU CAN'T PROVE A THING! I KNOW NOTHING OF..."
Hobbes slapped his hand over Calvin's mouth.
"Please don't do that, again." he said. "now I'm going to take my hand of your mouth and you're going to explain to me, slowly and carefully, EXACTLY what happened."
Calvin nodded.
"Ok."
Hobbes took his hand of Calvin's mouth and Calvin screamed.
"HOBBES I DIDN'T DO IT! YOU HAVE NO CASE! YOU CAN'T PROVE A THING! I KNOW NOTHING OF THE ROTTING NOODLES THAT WERE PUT IN EVERYONE'S LUNCH!"
Hobbes' eyes rolled into the back of his head.
"Tell me." he said.
And so Calvin turned in his bogus report of how the noodle incident happened.
Calvin's bogus report on how the noodle incident happened.
Well, let me think here. OK! I was going to school! I was being my usual flawless self! The ladies were all fainting when they saw me and... this getting boring, lets mush on. Miss Wormwood was bowing and throwing kisses as I walked into the classroom. Mysteriously, there had been a red carpet underneath me all day that day. Only one person hated my guts. Susie Dorkins! She vowed to turn off all my fame and fortune! So She convinced the evil lunch ladies to make up a idiotic gimmick called NOODLE WEEK! Well, I'm not crazy about noodles, but I try to polite. So I didn't complain when the evil lunch ladies poured a gallon of noodles onto my tray. But just then, Susie set a gas bomb off in the cafeteria! Then she took my noodles, and turned them into evil parasites! Only I was to escape from the evil noodle army which was taking over the school, and making everybody sick! Then I came home.
The end
Hobbes stared at Calvin with a blank expression on his face.
"You are so weird." he said. "but never mind that. Whatever happened yesterday, happened. And we have to find some way to help the kids."
Calvin stared at Hobbes in disbelief.
"Hobbes! We can't do that! We just go on as if nothing happened. If we're lucky, Susie will admit her terrible crime and..."
Hobbes grabbed Calvin's arm, and led him outside.
"Hobbes, we CAN'T help them! We don't have any kind of super medicine!"
"I didn't say we did" said Hobbes.
"Where are you taking me?" asked Calvin.
Just then the library came into view.
"AAAA! NO! NOT THERE! HELP! HELP! I'M BEING KIDNAPED! SOMEONE CALL THE POLICE!"
People stared at Calvin.
All they could see was Calvin dragging a stuffed tiger to the library and screaming for help.
Calvin and Hobbes spent the next few minutes at the library.
Hobbes was going through some books on health, and Calvin had his face glued against the glass doors.
At last, Hobbes came up to Calvin.
"Darn! I can't find anything on noodle rot."
Calvin didn't answer.
He continued to press his face into the door.
Hobbes stared at a health magazine.
"Mmmm! This might be helpful!"
Calvin ripped his face off the door, and stared at a magazine ad.
"Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea, yay Peptobismol." he read.
Hobbes grinned.
"Just what we're looking for!" he said.
Calvin stared at Hobbes. "Hobbes, have tasted that stuff? It's terrible! They take toad barf, put in pink food coloring, and then add sawdust for so-called flavor! It's enough to make your taste buds whither and die!"
"It may taste bad, but it'll be perfect for this situation." said Hobbes
"Oh brother." said Calvin.
"Calvin, how much money do you have?" asked Hobbes.
"I have five bucks, why?" there was a moment of silence.
"NO!" Calvin screamed. "I'm not wasting my money on that blended, chewed, bubble gum they call medicine!"
Hobbes grinned, and showed Calvin his claws.
Calvin stared at them.
"On the other hand, that stuff does work." he said.
Calvin and Hobbes made their way to the supermarket.
After buying a few bottles of the stuff, Calvin and Hobbes made their way to Susie's house.
They snuck into the house, and poured some of the pink gunk into the lid, and with Hobbes help, slid some down Susie's throat, while she was sleeping.
And that's what they did for all the other kids.
And soon, they were all better, and back at school.
Miss Wormwood strongly suspected Calvin for the incident, but Calvin kept to his word that it was all Susie's idea.
The "HOBBES I DIDN'T DO IT! YOU HAVE NO CASE! YOU CAN'T PROVE A THING! I KNOW NOTHING OF THE ROTTING NOODLES THAT WERE PUT IN EVERYONE'S LUNCH!" End
Swing: Peptobismol probably wouldn't work overnight, but this was the best ending I could come up with. Please no flames.
