cHrRyBlSsM: well, well, here we are for yet another chapter of Pokemon Purple Version. Of course we've got so much support.... -_- but anyways, it's spring break!! Whee heeee!! Now we'll have more time for this wonderful story... well, we don't own anything, so u can't sue us!! o.O

CrYsTaLsNoW: Helloness!! Yes...uh, here's another chappie... I dunno wut else to say, so...yea, wutever.... ^.^;;;

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chap. 7 ~ a fork in the road to disaster

They panted as they screeched to a halt in front of a fork in the road.
"I...think....we got.....away...." Wufei gasped (constipatedly). (sry to those wufei fans out there!! ^.~)
Duo, who wasn't winded at all, cheerfully bounced around, happy that that particular predicament was over.
"Soooo guys, which way do we go??"
One side was a cheerful, rainbow path filled with lollipops and pretty flowers, lined with stuffed teddy bears. The other fork had a sign over it...
"What's the sign say?" Ash asked, squinting his eyes in an attempt to (look like Brock) read the firey words.
Duo gazed at the words, and smiled evily, "It says, 'Gateway to Hell.'" He paused for a moment before squeaking, "Sounds good to me!! Let's GO!!"
Everyone sweatdropped.
After a couple of minutes of uneasy silence, everyone erupted into argument. Comments flung this way and that, each person having his or her own opinion on the matter. (except for Trowa, who didn't give a damn where they were to go.)
Heero slapped Duo on the back of his head, saying sharply, "NO Duo, that way is dangerous! We must go through the pink path." He pointed his index finger at the gayful path to emphasize his meaning.
Wufei snapped back, "ARE YOU KIDDING?! That way is the WEAK way!! If we are to go down today, let us go down like MEN!!"
Duo looked at the crowd around him, and pointed at Misty, "What about her?"
"TO HELL WITH HER!!"
Duo smiled happily and cheered, "OKAY!!" With that he picked up Misty and attempted to throw her down the "The Gateway to Hell." (Get it? Yes we're so funny! ^.^)
However, Misty retaliated, and bonked Duo firmly on the head, making stars fly around his head. **tweet tweet**
Quatre stared at his feet, and mumbled, "I dunno, I kinda like the pink path...."
Everyone gave him a deathglare, except for Trowa of course....
"How about this?" Brock interjected, before a rumble would break out.
Everyone immediately shut up and looked expectantly at the squinty- eyed teenager. Brock cleared his throat sophisticatedly, "Alright.... Well, how about this?? Each of us just makes up his...OR HER...." He added as Misty glared at him, "Umm... his or her own mind about which way to go... so yea...."
Duo smiled happily, "OKAY!!" And so the next chapter in this wacko story begins....

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Duo: Umm, hey guys.... :sniff: :sniff: (Quatre sobs in the background). Unfortunately... the Purpleness Company has been disbanded, thanks to the complaint of a CERTAIN SOMEONE. **stares at Wufei**

Wufei: It wasn't $%^& me!! And besides, it was a !@#%$ weak company anyway...

Heero: It was her. **points to a voodoo doll of Misty, which has pins stuck in it from all sorts of angles**

Trowa: ...

Quatre: WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!

**Trowa pats him comfortingly** (awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww)

Duo: SOOOO, I put up my own business!!!

Everyone except for Duo and Trowa: YOU DID???!!

Wufei: Brace yourselves....

Heero: We're gonna go out of business....

Quatre: REALLY?! THAT'S WONDERFUL!! **everyone sweatdrops**

Duo: YA!! It's called the STRAIGHT AND CO.!!

Wufei: **looks up hopefully** You're actually encouraging non-gayness? Interesting....it goes against your own $%&^ principles.

Duo: **looks hurt** Well, our first product that's out is....

**DRUM ROLL**

Duo: Straightness!!

Heero: What?

Duo: A magazine silly!! And in it, you will find the "Top 20 Reasons Why Straights Should Go Gay."

Wufei: What the $%^&??

**Everybody facefaults**

Quatre: COOL!! But....why should I buy it then? I'm already gay....

Duo: YA!! I know! BECAUSE it's for people like Wufei!! **Wufei takes out his katana, and Heero takes out his gun, which results in Wufei grabbing Heero, begging, "Shoot me."** Plus, there's another "Top 20 Reasons Why Not To Be Straight"!!

Quatre: Oh really??

Duo: Twelve prescriptions are only a bajillion dollars!!

Quatre: Count me in!!

Duo: ALSO, with your first twelve issues, you're automatically registered for the "Be Nice to Straight People Club"!! They don't know what they're missing!! Your initiation into this club includes having to hug a straight guy!!

**Wufei looks merrily around him, then all of a sudden, realizes that he's the only straight guy in the commercial, and turns stark white**

**Quatre gayily marches up to Wufei, and hugs him, then pops up with a circular, colorful sticker that reads, "I Hugged A Straight Guy Today!"**

Quatre: Yay! I'm in the club now!!

Duo: So, buy today!! The number is: 1-800-B-E-G-A-Y

Wufei: I thought this was supposed to be a @#$%&^ straight company??!!

Duo: **shrugs** Too bad.

**Heero waves around a little purple flag**

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And so, our little gay troupe travels along the lollipop path, taking the easy way out apparently... But anyways, our victims...I mean....contestants....consist of Quatre, Trowa (who had followed along), Heero (who had reluctantly separated from Duo), and Brock (who had decided to play it safe).
And so, they travel happily along, minding their own business, when suddenly a house fell from the sky, making a huge dent in the cheap paint. The smoke clears, and everyone ceases coughing. The house is black and white, like in the olden days, and soon, the black and whiteness spreads throughout the world, blanketing everything in the old, custom black and white. (Ya know, in the olden days, in TV, everything was black and white? Don't worry, it'll all make sense soon...)
Everyone (in unison) looks up at the now-gray sky, then down at the house, and up again. They stupidly shrug and waltz right into the house, smart huh?
But anyways, our SMART contestants look around the house, scouraging for food. When suddenly, the house started spinning, like a washing machine on high... They spun and spun and spun....Quatre screaming madly above the din of the flying house. (Does this sound familiar to our audience?? But no matter, we will continue their wonderful spinning experience after we have a look at our other victims....I mean...contestants....)

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And so, the our other group, the adventurous, stupid, suicidal moronic group, go through the gates of "Hell." (which it very well will turn into... AHAHAHA).
Duo, who had donned a black cape and a scythe, led our stupid group through the flames.....of Hell. MWAHAHAHAHAHA... Ash (who had decided that he could be adventurous of course), Wufei (who can't stand weak choices, and decided that this was for the better of course...), and Misty (thinking that she must prove herself to her future husband-to-be, and everybody else of course...) led the back.
Our group continues to walk confidently down the path, when suddenly a deep, trembling voice is heard over the void, proclaiming, "Prepare yourself, you shall face your worstest (nice vocabulary)... fears!!"
What doom faces our vict-heroes??!! Find out soon, after we figure out what happened to our sissy, spinning group...

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Pretty soon, everyone in the spinning house of black and white was a nice shade of green (oh, wait, they can't be green....how about grey instead??). They land with a nice "thump" on the spongy grass. Heero looked around, not knowing why or how everyone around him had disappeared. He shrugged indifferently and walked out of the house, looking around at his now colorful surroundings.
Without knowing how or why, he blurted, "Todo, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore." He made a face at his own words, and asked no one in particular, "Why the hell did I just say that?" He looked down at his feet, finding a black puppy barking its mad head off.
"Omae o korosu..." he pulled out a gun from his blue checkered dress....hold on!! WHAT BLUE CHECKERED DRESS??? Shut up, it's part of the story...
But anyways, Heero pulls the trigger, and the dog goes limp. That annoying, twinkling star comes down from the now-blue sky, (how is there a star in the middle of the day??) and a nice, pretty, oversized lady (dude, go on SLIMFAST) in an oversized dress steps down from the glittering haven, smiling a large, oversized smile, carrying a totally fake, oversized plastic wand, covered in plastic glitter and confetti, that was stuck together with Elmer's Glue. (We don't own Elmer's Glue...)
Who is this mysterious, oversized lady, and where has everyone else gone?? Find out in the next two paragraphs, for we need to check up on our suicidal contestants.... AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

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"EXCUSE ME, but I don't HAVE wortest fears....!!" Wufei stuttered to the anon-ny-mous (helps w/ spelling!) voice.
"Yea!" chorused Misty. Wufei shot her a deathglare.
"BRING IT ON!!" Duo cheered happily.
"As you wish...." The voice mysteriously finishes and our vic-heroes wait....and wait....and wait...until they cannot wait no more (no, they do not have to go to the bathroom)....but they wait anyways.....and wait....OH TO HELL WITH IT, HERE IT COMES.
And so, a happy, gay, ragtime piano tune merrily plays. Plays a very familiar tune....and sweet childish voices accompany the childish tune.
"I LOVE YOU....YOU LOVE ME....WE'RE A HAPPY FAMILY...." Everyone turns ghostly white. Wufei shrieks,
"NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!"
And so the games begin, may the best man win....

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"Who are you?" Heero asks bluntly.
"I, dear child, am the good witch of the west. And you have saved the dear munchkins from their doom...for your house just sat on her."

"Her?"

"Yes child....."

"Who's she?"

"I'm getting to that...."

"...."

"She...."

"..."

"Is...."

"...."

"...the...."

"...."

"WICKED..."

":stares at watch on wrist:"

"...wItCh"

"..."

"OF!!"

"..."

"SOME FUCKING DIRECTION ON THE COMPASS!!!" (sry guys, we forget what direction...)

**Heero facefaults**, then adds, "YOU FUCKING BITCH!! YOU KEPT ME WAITING ALL THAT TIME, AND YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT DAMN DIRECTION IT IS??"

"Does it matter?"

"HELL YEA!!"

"Alright, dear belligerent child, you make one up yourself then!"

"I WILL!! SOUTHWEST!!"

"Okay then, the Wicked Witch of the Southwest. But 4-1-1 hun, you just saved the happy munchkins from her, honeybun."

"Who?"

"THE WICKED WITCH OF THE SOUTHWEST DAMN IT!"

**An annoying music plays**

"DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD!"

"WHICH OLD WITCH?"

"THE SOUTHWEST WICKED WITCH!"

"DING DONG THE WICKED SOUTHWEST WITCH IS DEEEEAAADD!!"

"DING DONG..."

Heero stared blatantly at the munchkins, "Someone answer the doorbell, it's been ringing for quite awhile now..."

"DING DONG...!"

"There it goes again..."

Among the mass of colorful, short munchkins, stood another munchkin, but this munchkin had the head of a familiar face. Brock.
He was happily dancing with his hands in the air, waving his arms madly around him...in the opposite direction of all the other munchkins. Smart kid.
Suddenly, he blinked, and stared down at his attire, "What the hell?!! Why am I wearing a green jumper-suit, trousers, whatever the hell they're called?? Overalls, maybe? WHATEVER!! BUT WHY THE HELL AM I ONLY THREE FEET TALL??!!"
Heero suddenly spots Brock, and points and laugh hysterically, "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
Brock stares right back at the laughing Heero with those lines for eyes, saying, "Speak for yourself, Mr. Lady in A Blue Dress."
What hideous thing is Heero wearing?? And what is about to happen to our unfortunate contestants?? OH HELL WITH IT, THEY'RE VICTIMS OKAY?? But, anyways, let's see how our other group is doing....

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"I LOVE YOU, YOU LOVE ME!!! WE'RE A HAPPY FAMILY!! WITH A GREAT BIG HUG AND A KISS FROM ME TO YOU!! WON'T YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME TOOOOOOO??!!" (we almost forgot that last line... we were gonna make it up...but thankfully for you guys, we didn't. we've been deprived of our childhood)

"NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONON ONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO!!" (Guess who it is?)

Not much progress, but let's make them make progress.

They walked.

Actually, to be more precise, they ran.

Actually, they ran like a chicken with its head cut off.

ACTUALLY, much to Wufei's dismay, they all ran like a bunch of onnas.

Well...

That's it....

No, really, that's it for this chapter.

Sad, isn't it?

Well, too bad for you.

We're sugar high, and full of life. HALLEJUAH!!!

So we're gonna run in front of a car now.

Goodbye.

**Screech**

**Crash**

Writing this from the hospital...apparently, someone mixed crack into our drinks... so review!!

And we'll feel better so that we can get our injured asses off this hospital chair and write more.

So yea.

That's it.

Bye.

CrYsTaLsNoW: Yes, yes, I know, we made you SO WORRIED, didn't we? Well just to clear things up, no, we're not dead, (actually we are) (no we're not), no, we didn't have crack, no, we're not in the hospital and....No we don't own the Wizard of Oz (that's what it's called for those of you that didn't catch on), and we don't own Barney (again, for those of you dumb...ahhh, don't diss the readers...that didn't catch on...)

cHrRyBlSsM: I actually liked this chappie, so REVIEW READERS!! PLEASE?? Then, you'll actually know what happens!! YAY....

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