A/N: WOW! So many reviews!! ^^ Thank you everyone for being such a patient audience.
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He finally realized why no one had said a word about his frequent visits to her. No one had noticed. I..I have hidden myself, my feelings, for everyone, especially to Sakuno, for so long, that no one understands what I do and why. It isn't that they don't want to know, but can't. Is this what I seem like to Sakuno? Am I an unfeeling person? He stopped his musings. They simply weren't healthy. What he needed to do right now was concentrate on his tennis. Practice would be over soon, and he looked forward to visiting Sakuno, although, with every visit, his melancholy increased. It was a part of his life that he loved but hated at the same time. Visiting her, being able to see her was a privilege, but seeing her so weak, with no emotions, tore away at his heart.
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It had been three months, and still she lay motionless. Everyone had heard about the accident, and sent her cards, flowers, and gifts. Even himself. He wondered how it was like to be in her state. Can you feel, see, and hear things when you're in a coma? Can you understand all that is happening? Does she want to live? He shook his head. Now is not the time for this. Tennis is more important. He had to admit it though. He was worried. What is she to me? The question echoed in his head, and he started to feel sick. WHAT IS SHE TO ME? He yelled it out… a silent scream from one Echizen Ryoma's confused mind.
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Where am I? She opened her eyes, but at first, she could only see faint shadows. Blinking, she was able to make out a few more shapes. This isn't my room… Why can't I see anything properly? As if just regaining feeling, she noticed the many tubes and medical appliance surrounding her, connected to her. A h-hospital? A light suddenly glared in her eyes, and a soft breeze rustled the curtains. The smell of summer encased the room, momentarily removing the strong medicinal smells. She took a breath, and filled her lungs with the fresh air. Suddenly, propelled by some unnatural force, she looked towards the window. There, standing, was one of the most striking figures she had ever seen in her entire life. As if that force too, propelled him, he turned around and met her eyes. Her vision cleared. Somewhere, in the depths of her mind, she remembered his presence in her life… but… Who is he? She opened her mouth, wanting to speak, but she saw him open his mouth at the same time, so she decided to let him talk first. He whispered something, but she could not hear him.
Trying not to be rude, she asked, "A-ano… I don't mean to be rude… but who are you?"
Despair crossed his features, but only for a moment. It was so faint, Sakuno wasn't sure if she had mistaken what she had seen. Who is he to care about me? Why am I here? Questions repeatedly went through her mind, and she searched her heart for answers. Something in my heart tells me that this one person meant a great deal to me, but why can I not remember? Bits and pieces of my life are coming together in my mind, but it is as if the most important parts are missing.
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She doesn't remember me. She doesn't remember me… He heard a crack. Is that my heart breaking? Then there was the sound of a thousand shattered glass pieces falling to the floor. Is that all that is left of my life? Misery… No, that is too light a word… pain… that was too physical. There was no word to describe how he felt. He almost dropped the bouquet of flowers. I wanted to welcome the summer for Sakuno… but it seems that this summer will only bring pain…
He went closer to her bed. "Is it alright with you if I sit down?"
"H-hai."
"Do you remember anything at all?"
"I can only remember small things, things that have happened in my childhood, how life was life… but I can't seem to recall any of the people in my life… " As if all I can see is the stage, but the actors have not come out to perform yet.
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"Ryusaki-sensei? Its Tezuka."
"Have you any news?"
"Your granddaughter has woken up… but I'm afraid…
"She has lost her memory, hasn't she, Tezuka?"
"Perhaps… Hai."
"Don't worry about it… I'll be there shortly. Eh, Tezuka…"
"Hai?"
"Ehn… Forget it… Just an old lady's musings…"
"Hai. Ja mata, sensei."
"Ah. Ki o tsukete, Tezuka."
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It was so quiet. He got up and turned on his stereo, looking for a station that had softer music. He wanted to think. Mada mada dane. It would do. He lay back down on his bed, thinking. Almost by accident, he found himself wondering about Sakuno. A coma… And, as always, he denied himself the thought of her. He asked himself questions, always posing Sakuno as the wrong doer. He just could not accept it… And he could not ask himself the one question that may have a made a world of difference in his life. Never once, and never in his life, would he ever ask himself Why is it that she makes my life so much better? Nor Why does she make me feel the way I do? But always, it would be… What is she to me? She is no one. Perhaps, in his subconscious, he knew he lied to himself about her, but it would never make a difference. Never, because he had already cut himself off. She is awake. No longer is she my concern. And that, for him, was the end.
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Why can't she remember me? Was I so insignificant a part of her life that I am one of the people that she just can't remember? Thinking. Lately, that's been all he had been doing. It was hard to enjoy life when your world is turned upside down. I once said that I could not live without her. But how can I live knowing that she is just so close to me… but yet, so far. It was like a book. You finish half of it, anticipating what happens next, but suddenly, something you wished never to happen in the book happens. There is no reading between the lines. You had wanted to read on, to find out how the rest of the journey inside those covers were, but then… There is that one thing that happens, and you can no longer bear to find out.
Perhaps it was long overdue to have a talk with Fuji.
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A/N: Hope you all enjoyed! As always, reviews are welcomed and loved ^^ If my Japanese is a little off, I apologize in advance! (I'm really bad at this… Trying to learn it, but not very well, since I can't even learn my own language properly (Chinese) ^^) Also, I'm trying very hard to write longer chapters that also stop at a point where everyone just HAS to come back and read the rest! (Hopefully) ^^
