The Inner Workings of Hiei: Master of the Third Eye

A Yu Yu Hakusho Fanfiction by SpookyChild

Author's Notes: People are actually reading this story? If I had known they would, I would have made this a heck of a lot better...

Disclaimer: No.

Summary: A series of ridiculously short episodes in which Hiei examines his pathetic obsession with Kurama.

Episode Three:

Ice Cream

Today, I had a mission.

The mission was simple: ask Kurama if he felt the same way about me that I felt about him. But, I was going to do it very sneakily, like a ninja, or something else that… was… sneaky. Whatever.

The idea came to me one day when I was in Kurama's kitchen in the middle of the night, drinking French Vanilla coffee creamer straight from the carton. I was in a weird, sort of lactose-induced stupor, and I thought, "Wow, I'm going to ask Kurama if he likes me… and then… I will know." And then I think I passed out, I don't really remember...

So anyway, now I was going to his house to ask him. I pushed open his window and found him sitting at his desk, reading.

"Kurama?"

He turned towards the window. "Yes, Hiei?"

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course."

I climbed into the room and sat down on his bed- on his bed, oh my god- and cleared my throat.

"Um, I need to ask you something." He continued to stare at me and I felt uncomfortable. "Err, I'm in love with… ice cream." I said, hurriedly. Kurama raised his eyebrow.

"Well," he began, seeming to think this over, "That's okay, ice cream is a very addictive food."

"But I don't know if… ice cream… loves me back." I continued. Kurama stared at me again.

"Umm…"

"I want to know ice cream's feelings, but I'm afraid he'll reject me. But I still want to know his feelings, even if he doesn't return mine… ice cream, that is." I looked at Kurama expectantly. He sat there, obviously confused, mouth hanging open a bit.

"Erm," he began, stuttering slightly, as if trying to find the words, "I don't think ice cream cares, Hiei." He finally said.

Okay, now I'm pissed.

"Just what is that supposed to mean?!" I shouted, jumping up. Kurama blinked.

"Um, Hiei, I was just saying… Ice cream doesn't have any feelings."

"You're damn right he doesn't!" I yelled, stomping over to the window. "I'm getting the hell out of here!" I noticed one of his shirts tossed carelessly over on his bed. I slowly picked it up, glancing at him. "…And I'm taking this with me." I stood there a moment longer before taking a ridiculously dangerous dive out of the window.

Okay, so the mission failed. But at least I stole one of his shirts.

End

This isn't a spectators sport, people. Review or die trying. Peace.

-SC