Little Red Riding Hood


Narri-chan: (slaps rolled-up script in hands, lounging in director's chair) Glad to see you're all here today! Y'know, when I asked Rachel Roberts to lend me you guys for a while in honor of the 101'st AVALON fanfic ever, I didn't think she'd ever comply! Funny old world, hm?

All: Indiscriminate grumbling, unfair, no warning, I'm calling my agent, etc. etc.

Narri: Ohhh, suck it up! This'll be FUN, I promise!

Adriane: Oh yeah? Define "fun".

Narri: It's fun, as in "more fun than me posting that lemon I did of you and Zach!"

(several crickets make their presence known to the occupants of the room)

Adriane: (shuts up)

Zach: (turns about 50 shades of red and pretends not to have heard)

Narri: I thought so...

Kara: I want copies! Blackmail, blackmail! )D

Adriane: (strangles)

Narri: (P Right then! We're going to be doing the fairytale "Little Red Riding Hood".

Emily: (rolls eyes) No innuendo or anything...

Narri: And the cast is as follows! Emily will be playing Little Red Riding Hood!

All: (raise eyebrows)

Ozzie: Didn't expect that.

Emily: A-are you sure?

Narri: (shrugs) Better than Kara. Who, by the way, is the Narrator.

Kara: (sulks)

Narri: Don't pout princess, you'll get a better part next time. I'm doing a SERIES!

All: (scream in terror)

Narri: …Ahem. The Big Bad Wolf will be played by Moonshadow.

All: TYPECASTING! TYPECASTING! BOOOOO!

Narri: DO shut up... Grandma will be played by...the Spider Witch.

All: "0.0"

As everyone hears a small sneeze in the corner, they turn around to see, hidden in the shadows, the Dark Sorceress, the Spider Witch, Flagoon, the Skultum, several Bulwoggles, the Manticore, and other misc. baddies.

Dark Sorceress: You idiot! I TOLD you to hold that sneeze!

Skultum: Sorry...

Ozzie: Oh…my…GOOOOD! (hides)

Adriane: (strikes battle pose) When did THEY get here!

Spider Witch: Oh, DO simmer down, dearie. We have a contract.

Narri: (winks) n.n

Zach: (cracks knuckles threateningly)

Manticore: (screams like a little girl and hides behind the Dark Sorceress, who is silently cursing idiot minions, teen mages, and a certain smiling authoress.)

Narri: Yup! No bloodshed now, I'd hate to have to abuse the omnipotence by making ya'll dance the polka for a while.

Kara: (rolls eyes) Tch! How tacky.

Narri: Right! So ya'll gotta be cool until the fairytale's over.

All: (stare)

Narri: …And THEN you can kick their butts.

Baddies: (gulp)

Spider Witch: Once I acquire all of the power crystals, the first thing I'm doing is wiping all fanfic authors off the face of the universe, starting with YOU!

Narri: n.n We'll see.

Kara: Yeah, keep dreaming! Nyaaaah! (makes faces)

Lyra: (sweatdrops) Glad to see we're operating on a mature, adult level here…

Narri: Yup! O-kaaay, the part of the woodsman will be played by Kyle!

Kara: (drops the face, bursts out laughing) HIM?

Kyle: (looks as though Christmas has come early)

Emily: (sweatdrops) There'll be no living with him after this…

Narri: Adriane gets to be the mom, frankly, because I need somewhere to stick her.

Adriane: You COULD just let me go…

Narri: HEH! You should BE so lucky! I need Zach and Lorren on Tech. Support, because…heck, I need big strong guys—

Adriane/Kara, Respectively: GRRRRRRRRRR….

Narri: …to lift things! Yeah…heheh…that's it! …And everybody else are extras! Comprende?

Adriane: Tch. How many extras can there BE in Little Red Riding Hood?

Narri: Oh, there'll be plenty…y'know how this is set in a forest? Well I've used up my government-regulated allowance of trees for fanfic props in previous fics, and I don't wanna STEAL some more (although I wouldn't rule that out…), because due to ya'll's violent natures, you destroy a lot of trees, and trees are made of paper, which means Greenpeace is knocking on my door. SOOO… (holds up long, badly-sewed lumps of brown fabric with green styrofoam tops)

Everybody with sense: (GULP!)

STAY TUNED!