He ran his fingers lightly over Lona's stomach for a moment.

"Hawkeye," Lona said, giggling. "I'm ticklish."

"Sorry," Hawkeye said, moving his hands away. He stared into Lona's large brown eyes, thoughts running around in his head. Lona stared back from under her long lashes.

"Not what you expected?" she asked. Hawkeye shook his head.

"Not what I expected at all," he replied.

Before

"So, what do you think about Lona?" Hawkeye asked.

"Klinger likes her," BJ replied, not pausing from darning his sock.

"There's something about her," Hawkeye said. "Have you ever seen anyone heal that fast?"

"Maybe we were wrong when we said she had an infection," BJ suggested.

"No chance. Charles said he checked her results at least three times. He didn't want to have to tell Klinger," Hawkeye replied. He paused, taking a sip from his martini glass. "She said something weird to me when Klinger had gone missing, too," he said.

"Yeah?" BJ asked, looking up for a moment.

"She told me where I'd find him, and what he'd be doing," Hawkeye said. "When I asked her how she knew, she said she just knew."

"He might have told her," BJ said.

"I don't think so," Hawkeye replied. "He was behind Rosie's, with a fur stole around his neck. After I tricked him out of going back to his section eight, he was worried about it, worried at what Lona would say. I'd say she didn't know what he was like before Radar left."

"Actually, I told you about Klinger giving her a dress this afternoon?" BJ asked, tossing his socks into his open footlocker. "Margaret had to help her out of her cot, but then she moved like she'd never been hurt. I know her legs hadn't been sewn up or anything, but she shouldn't have had the energy to dance around."

"Dance around?" Hawkeye asked.

"Maybe dance isn't the best description," BJ said. "But she moved very lightly. I didn't think much of it at the time."

"It's strange," Hawkeye muttered.

"Hey, don't jump to conclusions. We don't want a witch hunt," BJ warned.

"I want to keep her a few days more, just to see if anything else happens," Hawkeye said.

"You're paranoid. I don't know how you sucked me into it," BJ said, shaking his head.

"Just a few more days," Hawkeye insisted.

"Fine," BJ said. "It's stupid though. There's probably a reasonable explanation for her behaviour."


"So what, you've finished your work today?" Lona asked.

"I think I'm meant to write up some kind of report, but it can wait," Klinger said.

"Apparently I'm doing ok," Lona said. Klinger nodded.

"Hey Klinger, Lona, sorry to bother you," BJ said, coming up to them. "I just thought you'd like to know, Lona, you're going to go home."

"So she'll be ok?" Klinger asked excitedly.

"Yes, but we'd like to keep Lona here three or four more days before sending you home," BJ said.

"But I've never been fitter," Lona said.

"We want you to stay here with us for a few more days," BJ repeatedly, nodding his head towards Klinger. Lona's eyes opened wide with understanding.

"Oh, ok," she said. "Whatever you say, doctor."

"Glad to see we understand each other," BJ said with a grin before walking off.

"I'm going home," Lona said to Klinger. She gave a sad smile. "I don't even think I remember what my friends faces look like."

"Your memory just needs a boost," Klinger said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and giving her a hug. "I'm sure everyone remembers you."

Lona looked up at Klinger, and gave him one of her full smiles, the one where he could hear music in his head. He suddenly knew, he wanted to marry Lona.


"Hey, Lona," Hawkeye said. "Can I talk to you?"

"Sure," Lona replied. It was later that night, and there were few people in the Post-op. Hawkeye sat on the cot opposite Lona, and stared at her.

"How did you know Klinger would be behind Rosie's?" he asked. "How did you know about the dresses?"

Lona blinked twice. "I… I don't think I can tell you," she said finally.

"Did Klinger tell you he wore dresses to get of the army before?" Hawkeye asked. "Did he tell you he was going to be behind Rosie's bar?"

"No," Lona said. "I probably guessed what his section eight days were like when he gave me that blue shirt to wear, but didn't really know until he gave me this red dress."

"You told me he would be behind Rosie's, putting a dress on," Hawkeye said, leaning forward. "That's where he was and that's what he was doing. How did you know?"

"I don't know," Lona said loudly, tears brimming in her eyes. Hawkeye sighed and leant back.

"Sorry," he said. "I suppose you don't know how you recovered so fast from that infection?"

"I haven't studied nursing for nearly two years. In a POW camp, you've got more to worry about than remembering how the body works," Lona replied. "I can't remember a lot of my nursing courses."

Hawkeye shook his head. "I must sound like a crazy case to you," he said, smiling. "Has anyone changed your bandages since yesterday?" Lona shook her head. Hawkeye beckoned to nurse Baker who had just walked in. "She's due in for a bandage change," he said. Baker nodded, and went over to Lona.

"Close your eyes," Baker said to Hawkeye. Sighing, Hawkeye looked away. There were sounds of blankets and clothes rustling, and bandages being removed. There was a gasp from Baker, and Hawkeye turned around again. Baker had started to remove the bandages on Lona's stomach, so now her mid drift was showing, but there was no scarring on Lona.

"What the hell?" Hawkeye asked, moving forward. He ran his fingers lightly over Lona's stomach for a moment.

"Hawkeye," Lona said, giggling. "I'm ticklish."

"Sorry," Hawkeye said, moving his hands away. He stared into Lona's large brown eyes, thoughts running around in his head. Lona stared back from under her long lashes.

"Not what you expected?" she asked. Hawkeye shook his head.

"Not what I expected at all," he replied. "Who are you? What are you? How-"

"I don't want to get into it," Lona pleaded.

BJ's words started marching around Hawkeye's head. "We don't want a witch hunt."

"Check under the rest of the bandage, then come see me in the Swamp," Hawkeye said to Baker before walking out.


"Ok, you are officially nuts now," BJ said to Hawkeye.

"I'm not kidding," Hawkeye said. He was back in the Swamp, and had just finished telling BJ what had just happened with Lona in the Post op.

"Hawkeye?" Baker asked from the door.

"Come in," Hawkeye said, thinking.

"No scarring, at all," Baker said. She looked confused. "It was like, she'd never been injured."

"See?" Hawkeye said to BJ.

"I operated on her, though," BJ said. "I took enough shrapnel from her to make a car out of."

"She wouldn't, or couldn't, tell me what was happening, though," Hawkeye said. "Maybe we should talk to Klinger about it."

"Why?" BJ asked.

"She might be dangerous," Hawkeye said. "She could be… I don't know, sucking the life force from Klinger to heal herself or something."

"Ok, Hawkeye, where's the comic book?" BJ asked. "Every time a kid in my class came up with a crazy story like that, it was because he'd been reading comics."

"I tell you, there's something strange about Lona," Hawkeye said.

"Keep out of it," BJ warned. "Don't make me go to Colonel Potter about it."

"We should tell Klinger," Hawkeye said. BJ shook his head.

"Leave them be, Hawk," BJ said, laying down on his cot. "Lona is not dangerous."

"Keep watch on her," Hawkeye said to Baker, waving her away. Baker nodded, and hurried out again. Moodily, Hawkeye stared at the back of the Swamp door, wondering what Lona's story was.


Kooshball: Woo, another chapter of "Twist of Lemon". Tell me what you think, and I'll update when the next chapter is ready.