Chapter 2

Moving On

Man I'm gonna get outta this town
Man I'm gonna get outta this pain
Man I'm gonna get outta this town
Outta this town & out of L.A.
It's all she loves It's all she hates It's all too much for her
to take she can't be sure just where it ends or where
the good life begins

Song Credit: L.A. Song- Beth Hart

Staring out of the bedroom window and fighting back tears, Natalie tried to come to terms with what had transpired between Jessica and herself. She regretted some of what she had said to her sister, but she would never admit it. She was hurting and she was tired, but at least now she knew the truth. They didn't think that she belonged, nor did they want her to.

Shakily, she rose and looked around the room. As she did, she couldn't help but think that it wasn't really hers. Never had been. She was nothing more than an interloper. A visitor who needed to move on and out.

Crossing the room, she yanked open the closet and pulled out her duffle bag. Tossing it towards the bed, she started to pull out the items of clothing that she kept here, reminding herself that she didn't need them.

In fact, she didn't need anybody.

"I don't need anybody to fight my battles," Jess tearily told Kevin as she stepped away from him and towards the French doors of Lanfair's library.

"She's made you cry one too many times, Jessie," Kevin said stiffly, his arms crossed over his chest and fists clenched. "She should never have thrown that in your face."

Jess sighed as she turned to face him. "I said some pretty awful things to her too, Kev," she admitted as she pushed a piece of her hair behind her ear.

"Somehow I don't think the things you said were as hurtful," he reassured as he dropped his arms.

"I implied that I thought that she was responsible for Chris's death."

"You can't worry about her insecurities."

"Even when I used them against her? Kevin, I told her that she wasn't a member of this family. That she never would be. That she was nothing but trash," Jess admitted, watching as her brother scratched his head and looked away uncomfortably as he shifted his weight. "You can't actually believe that, can you, Kevin?"

Sighing, Kevin shrugged as he dropped his hand. "I don't know. She barely lets anyone in. She treats you horribly. I guess I can't get past what she did to you when she first came to town. I mean. . . I look at Roxy and Rex and I can't help but think about how like them she is. How unlike us."

"And Kelly isn't like her family?"

"Where the hell did that come from?"

"The fight started over the fact that you lied for Kelly."

"Well, she is my wife."

"And as Natalie pointed out, she's your sister."

"Jess, I didn't know that she was involved until after I talked to the police and gave Kelly an alibi. I couldn't recant my story without putting myself into a whole lot of hot water."

"I know that. I also know you're probably covering up other things for Kelly. But, the truth is, if it had been me you would've recanted."

"Maybe," Kevin conceded. "But it wasn't, and I didn't, and she had no right to say what she did."

"And I did?"

"You were provoked. And I'm putting a stop to this. Mom doesn't need this right now."

"Kevin, stay out of it. It's over. Once she calms down, I'm sure that she'll apologize."

"And that's going to solve something?"

"It got things off our chests. Opened a dialogue. Besides, she had a point. Statistically if one of us should've gotten pregnant it was her."

"Jess, you shouldn't be the one to feel guilty."

"I don't, not exactly anyway. I just should've been the bigger person."

"You usually are."

"You were right, and if you say that you usually are, I'm going to have to drop you," Kathryn said from the doorway of the office.

Dropping his feet to the floor, McBaine smirked as he put the file he was reading onto the desk. "Why would I have to when you've already said it?" he asked.

"You're such a gentleman, you know that?" she retorted as she walked into the room with a roll of her eyes.

"I try. So, you finally tracked him down?"

"Yeah, thanks to Antonio Vega," she answered as she dropped into a chair. "And believe me, you don't want to know any more than he wants you to."

"I'll. . . um. . . call Natalie and let her know."

"All ready done, I'm sure. Vega said he had to bring something to what's her name--- Jessica?" she started, at John's nod she continued. "Anyway, he'd said he'd let her know. I would've done it myself, except that I wanted to give Kelly Buchanan and her husband a piece of my mind."

"You charging them?"

"Not enough evidence to. Considering their relationship to Natalie I'm sure that a good lawyer would argue that she took the car."

"You'd believe that?"

"Considering I've seen them interacting, no. But if I bring them in for that, I have to bring her in for aiding and abetting."

"He backed her into it."

"Maybe, and while I hate prosecuting for stupidity, I'd have to push both through. Personally, I would love to stick it to Flyboy and his Princess of a sister."

"Or Natalie?"

"Being played isn't an excuse to break the law, John. The case is too tainted to do anything with, and truth be told, even I know she didn't do it. Gotta admit he had a good racket going, getting her to do his bidding by saying he'd come out of hiding."

"She wanted to prove her innocence."

"And almost gets arrested for something else. Real smart."

"I didn't say it was."

"What do you see in her anyway?"

"I'm not entirely sure," John admitted. "But I hope that I get the time to figure it out."

"And Crammer in Protective Custody will give you that, won't it?"

"If you'll stay out of it, it might."

"I'm trying to be a good friend. Caitlin wouldn't want to see you with someone like her."

"And she'd prefer me with who? Someone like you?"

"Don't go there John."

"It's a place we've avoided for a long time."

"And one I don't plan to go too. You know that I had a thing for you a long time ago. I put those feelings aside because you and my sister were right for each other. I won't be second best to her ghost. I don't want to be, but I don't want to see you get hurt by a girl playing at being a grown up."

"Maybe I want to play for a while. Maybe, like her, I'm tired of being the responsible one. Maybe, just maybe, I want to cut loose for a change."

"And maybe none of the above," she challenged as the phone rang.

"We're not finished," John said as he reached for the phone. "Hello?"

"Hello?" Natalie sighed into her cell phone as she pushed her hair out of her face and sunk onto the bed.

"How's my girl doing?" Clint asked, hoping that his voice didn't give away any of his inner turmoil.

"I'm hanging in there," Natalie answered evasively. "How's London?"

"Wet and foggy."

"Well, it's sunny here."

Frowning slightly on the other end, Clint reached across his desk for a picture of Natalie, his frown growing as the image blurred before him. "You don't sound like. . ." he started, only to be stopped by the sound of muffled shouts. "Is everything OK there?"

Turning her head towards the closed door, Natalie bit her lip. "Umm. . . yeah. . . Can I. . ." she started to answer hesitantly.

"What is wrong with you!?!?!" Kevin demanded as he threw open the door and barged into the room.

"Kevin, I. . ."

"No. That was rhetorical. How dare you say those things to Jessie!"

From the doorway, Jess shook her head, "Kevin, you're making this worse," she said as she saw panic flash in her sister's eyes, and not for the first time questioned just how abusive her childhood had been.

"Kevin, I'm on the phone," Natalie said softly, cringing back slightly as Kevin stalked across the room and pulled the cell from her hand. "Well, now you're not!" he responded as he hit end and threw the phone across the room.

"You're blowing this out of proportion," Jessica complained.

"I don't think so. She had you in tears," he answered as he turned to look at her.

"I was in the wrong too," Jess replied as the main phone line started to ring.

"She needs to apologize," Kevin stated as he turned to his other sister, an expression of expectation on his face.

Swallowing, Natalie stood, trying to hide her emotions behind a wall of toughness. "Funny, I think you're the one who needs to apologize," she said stiffly as she crossed her arms over her chest, hoping that Kevin would think it was out of defiance as oppose to a way for her to hold herself together.

"Excuse me?!?!?"

"You're the one who busted in here," she started as she swallowed and took an involuntary half step back. "You're the one who interrupted my phone call with. . ."

"I couldn't care less who you were talking to. You don't pull the kind of things you do in this. . ."

"Kevin," Jess called from the doorway.

"Family. . ."

"Kevin!!"

"What?" he demanded as he spun around.

"Dad's on the phone," Jess said uneasily, hoping her hand muffled the words of the argument.

"All right. Give me a sec."

"He wants to talk to Natalie," she corrected uneasily.

"What? Why does he want to talk to her?"

"Gee, thanks. Do I need permission to receive calls now?" Natalie asked sarcastically as she held back tears.

"We'll talk about this later," Kevin warned.

"Yeah, because I really need to be ordered around by you," she answered as she walked pass him, the amount of space she left between them not lost on Jessica.

"We do need to talk," Jessica said softly.

"Whatever, Jess," Nat sighed tiredly as she reached out for the phone.

"We'll give you some privacy," Jess replied as she tilted her head towards the door. Annoyed, Kevin followed her, surprised at the care she took in closing the door and the look that was on her face.

"You can't still feel guilty," he said.

"I've had it so much better than her."

"Jessie. . ."

"Kevin, do you ever wonder. . . I mean. . ." she started and shook her head.

"Wonder what? This is more than guilt."

"There was fear in her eyes. . ."

"Yeah, because she was being called on her behavior," Kevin sighed.

"No. It's more than that. She cringed when you went and grabbed the phone. She left a lot of space between you two when she crossed to take the phone from me."

"You think she was afraid of me?" he asked. "Natalie's not afraid of anything."

"It could just be a learned reaction."

"Jess, what are you suggesting. . .?"

"Maybe neglect wasn't the only type of abuse she was on the receiving end of," she answered as she looked worriedly at the door. . .

She looked worriedly at the door as she brought the phone to her ear, "hello?"

"Sounds like it's not so sunny there after all," Clint said, hoping to lighten the mood.

Sinking to the floor, Natalie tried to hold back the tears threatening to fall, "I guess not."

The catch in her voice didn't get pass him, "Natalie, understand that I was going to make this request before this, all right?"

"Umm. . . what does that mean?"

"I want you to come to London for a while."

"Really? Why? I mean. . ."

"I'll explain when you get here."

"I. . . What about Mom. . . I mean, I know that she has Kevin and Jess, but I don't. . . "

"I know. And I wouldn't ask this, but. . . well, do you think that the three of you fighting about what ever you're fighting about is going to help her get better?"

"If this is about that, I'll. . . well, I was planning on going back to the cottage any way and I'll just avoid them."

"Like everything else?"

"I don't. . . I just. . ."

"Natalie, honey, I need you to come, OK? I was going to ask you before I over heard that little tiff. I really need you to come."

Natalie frowned as she realized that she was hearing something unusual in his voice: "why is it so important that I come? Is something wrong?"

"Like I said, I'll explain when you get here."

"Something is wrong."

"Yeah," Clint sighed. "It is."

"OK. . . umm. . . do you want me to talk to Kevin and Jess?"

"No."

"But. . ."

"I want you to come to London. I don't want you to worry about why or what I'm going to tell you. It's. . .well, it has to do with an old injury. Any way, I have my reasons for wanting you to be the one to come and not them. And I don't want to add to their worries. In fact I hate having to even ask you. You have all been through so much with your mom and with Ben. . ."

"So have you."

"Yeah. I guess," Clint downplayed. "I'll have one of the company planes on standby so you can leave whenever your ready. The pilot will call with an ETA. I'll have Cord meet you at the airfield."

"Oh."

"Is something wrong with that?"

"Just that. . . Clint, I'm not sure I'll be able to pick him out of the crowd..."

There was silence for a moment and then Clint answered: "he'll find you, OK?"

"OK. I'll. . . well, there's a couple of things I need to do before I can. . . I'll try to get them done tonight. . ."

"Take your time. It's not a matter of life and death," he reassured, hoping that he was right. "I'll see you soon."

"Yeah. Soon."

"And Natalie."

"Yes?"

"I love you," he said softly before disconnecting, his voice echoing in her head as she stared at the wall, tears streaming down her face, unsure of what was to come and wishing she knew why he was asking her to come. . .