"Oi, Ran..."
"Oi! Ran!"
"RAN!"
She sat bolt up-right in her seat to find Sonoko glaring down at her with a questionable look. "Ran, what's wrong with you?" Sonoko asked sharply. "You've been out of it all day!"
"I'm...I'm just a little tired, that's all."
Sonoko rolled her eyes, unsatisfied by the obvious lie. "Oh, cut it!" she snapped down at her. "Everyone knows you and that Shinichi got in some fight!" Sonoko began waving her hands around, exaggerating her words by doing so. "You worry yourself sick over the guy for almost a year, and when he finally returns to school, you don't even glance his way!" She didn't answer.
It was true. She wanted nothing to do with him...
No, that's not true...
"—Ran! Are you listening to me?"
"Oh—what?"
"Gods, you're hopeless!" Sonoko slumped into the seat of the desk across from her. "Will you make up your mind already, Ran?" she asked her, her voice devoid of all sarcasm and attitude. "Do you love the guy or not?"
"I...I d-...I just..."
She tried to collect her thoughts, but couldn't get her mind around their midnight discussion.
"They can break people, Ran..."
"It's...it's really complicated."
"So, explain it to me," her friend coxed. Sonoko glanced at her watch. "We've got plenty of time; lunch isn't over for another thirty minutes."
Letting out a dull sigh, she balanced her chin on her palm.
"You wouldn't believe me if I did."
Sonoko flashed her most trusting smile. "Try me."
She stared at her for a moment, contemplating if she should or not. Closing her eyes, she smiled weakly and stood.
"Maybe another time, Sonoko."
She left her friend alone in the classroom and headed blindly to the courtyard, her lunch bobbing in her grip. Under the branches of the large cherry blossom, her legs collapsed out from under her and fell feeble onto the grass.
"She dump you just like that?"
She looked up. That voice...it was a boy from her class. One of the kids Shinichi always hung out with.
"She had every right, I guess."
Shinichi...that was Shinichi's voice. Slowly, she peeked around the trunk of the tree. On the other side, sitting in a small ring, were Shinichi and four other boys who's names escaped her. One, a rice ball poking out of the side of his mouth, gave Shinichi's shoulder a playful nudge.
"So you're single again, are you?" the boy asked, smiling broadly. "I know all the girls around here will be happy to know."
"We were never really going out anyways...besides, she deserves someone better."
Heat rose to her cheeks.
"Listen to this guy," an older boy said, smacking Shinichi's shoulder. "He's really hung up over this chick."
She waited for him to respond, to deny them and tell them she was nothing but a heartless bitch, but Shinichi said nothing. One of the boys gave him a sympathetic look.
"You can't let some chick mess with your head, Shinichi," he said. "They're not worth it."
"No, I was the one who messed with her head."
"You what?" all four asked at once.
"I lied to her. I...I used her"
"Wow, man," the rice boy said slowly. "I never thought you'd—" Shinichi stood, cutting the boy off.
"I'm heading in."
He left the other boys and walked into the school building. Despite what her she was feeling, she followed him in, trying her best not to be seen.
The corridors of the school passed in a dull blur as she silently trailed him. His walk was slow and dragging, as if he was in deep thought. She ducked behind lockers and doors to avoid him. At the end of the hallway, he stopped.
"Why are you following me, Ran-neechan?"
She froze.
"Don't call me that," she snapped.
"I'm sorry. It's a habit."
He turned slowly to face her.
"Are you doing any better?"
He tried to put on a smile for her, but it was false and forced, making it harder for her to bear looking at him. When she didn't respond, he dropped the smile. It was replaced by a tortured gaze.
"I'm...I'm so sorry I put you through this."
She felt her face flush. Despite her true feelings, anger rose to the surface and took hold.
"You should be," she snapped harshly. Her eyes narrowed, the tears hiding behind them waiting to be released, before she hissed out, "You could never understand the Hell I went through for you."
The smirk that spread across his face surprised her.
"Oh, but that is where you would be mistaken."
The bitterness of his voice made her blood freeze. She had never heard him sound so...nasty, so cruel. "What?" she choked out.
"You, Ran, could never understand the Hell I put myself though."
The smirk died off, a look hatred and sorrow towards himself replacing it.
"Every moment of everyday that I spent in that...prison known as Edogawa Conan was ten times the Hell you speak of."
His voice was frightening to her. So course, so thick with grief. He looked old and worn before her.
"I couldn't do anything. I couldn't hold you, I couldn't help you...I couldn't even tell you how much I loved you. My soul was torn in two for you, and what's worse, you loved the fake half more then mine."
His voice trailed off. It seemed that only his lips were moving, but, somehow, she heard every word as clear as day.
"You loved Conan...and you hated Shinichi."
It was a silent scream of sorrow. It made her want to scream...scream out his name. She wanted him to stop. She wanted him to stop telling her his hell.
She had never even thought about how it affected him before. It was almost too much to bear.
But he continued.
"I would never be able to live with myself if something happened to you because of my foolishness...my cowardice. I was sure that if I told you...they would find out, and I'd lose you...forever."
His deep blue eyes looked into hers and she could see his heart breaking within them.
"I can't...I can't live without you, Ran."
It took all her strength to look away, but in time she did. "I'm...I'm sorry Shinichi..." she said softly, slowly. "But...I have...I have learned to live without you."
The silence that followed was unbearable. For a moment she thought she had gone deaf until she heard a small ping—
The ping of water hitting the ground.
She slowly looked back up at Shinichi. He was staring at her, his blue eyes dead and glazed over. He didn't look sad, he didn't look angry or surprised. He was devoid of all emotion. He was just...dead.
A single tear trailed down his left cheek.
"I understand, Ran."
The voice made her jump. It was new and strange to her. It wasn't until Shinichi spoke again did she realize it was his voice.
"I...I understand..."
He sounded dead. Lifeless and dead. Tears pricked the sides of her eyes, but she held them back. He wasn't finished speaking.
"Just...just remember something."
She looked away from him. It was just too hard...too hard to look at him like this. He wasn't Shinichi...he was...something else entirely.
She felt his hands wrap around her and her heart jumped. He breathed in the smell of her hair before whispering to her one last time.
"You will always be my Ran-neechan...And I will always love you."
--Owari--
