Title: Snowscape
Author: SapphirexKat2
Rating: PG-13 Overall: R (I promise this time!)
Pairing: SatoshixDaisuke .
Warnings: Angst. Slightly AU; Spoilers. OoC on Krad's, maybe Satoshi's, Dai's and Dark's as well.
Disclaimer: I do not own DN Angel. pout
Summary: Satoshi wants to understand his obssession for Daisuke. Satoshi goes through a state of withdrawl. Daisuke's introspection. Dark has job and the Commander doesn't show up.
Status: Incomplete series.
"It's a Snowscape. ...The shadows in the purest snow are blue... Night or day. On a night when no one else is around the blue-tinted fields of snow are just there waiting forever, as though time is standing still. Slow and silent, the snow keeps falling." - Niwa Daisuke. Vol. 6 "The Second Hand of Time Pt. 1"
Chapter Two: Losses and Defeat
Satoshi finally came back to school after missing two days. He arrived early, as usual, turned in his late assignments, and sat down at his desk. Every time a classmate entered he would concentrate on his peripheral vision to see who it was. For every time that it wasn't Daisuke, his heart fell. Soon the class began to fill up and the redhead was still missing.
His hands gripped his novel. Why couldn't he just forget about him already? It was Daisuke's fault for making him feel this way. If the Niwa…at the hospital… Satoshi had never felt his heart race so much in his entire life. Even in the pursuit of Dark it never happened.
"Oh, I hope Niwa-kun's all right," Riku was saying to her friends. "He had a bad accident after school yesterday, and his arm was badly hurt." The rest of the class came onto her conversation, and soon they were talking about what could have happened. (Daisuke had no clue how popular he was with the class.) "I mean, he is clumsy," she added quietly to herself amongst the chatter. "But still…" Her brows furrowed in concern.
Satoshi noticed this and felt sorry for her. She seemed to like Daisuke so much. Even as Daisuke liked Risa he knew that Riku secretly admired him, even if she was in denial about it. As the days passed, the older Harada twin seemed to fall more and more in love with him. Satoshi vaguely wondered who suffered more between Riku and himself because of the irresistible red-head.
000
Daisuke had missed that day of school, Satoshi later found out with disappointment. The only reason why he even considered waking up that morning was because of Daisuke. It was foolish and hopeless, he knew, but he couldn't help it. Krad made note of it for the rest of the day.
.-. Stop thinking about him, Satoshi-sama. It isn't doing you any good. .-. The blonde said this firmly, as if demanding that Satoshi obey him. However, there was also an underlying tone of sympathy. Satoshi almost thought he imagined it, for the hunter was practically incapable of compassion.
'And neither are you,' Satoshi retorted. 'Now leave me alone.'
It didn't help that Krad kept pointing out how weak Satoshi's self-control was – letting Daisuke reign over his thoughts with just a couple of kind words and a smile. Satoshi had spent his whole life building barriers around his heart for this exact purpose – to drive people away. Eleven years of labor, and a simple boy tore most of it down in a year's time. .-. That is pathetic Satoshi-sama. .-.
Satoshi tried to ignore Krad's banter. The demon didn't understand. While Satoshi may appear to be ice cold and not desire any warmth at all, inside he was different. In the small, soft area in the core of his heart untainted by impassiveness was the real Satoshi helplessly waiting for someone to reach him. No one had ever gotten through his defenses…but Daisuke.
Krad would never understand. He lost all feeling a long, long time ago.
000
The young Commander didn't want much out of life. He knew that he had a single goal, and that was to capture and get rid of Dark Mousy; it was the Hikari goal. Satoshi didn't like it one bit, but he supposed that it had to be done if he wanted to rid his family of their curse (Krad) once and for all. At first, as he trained, the blue-haired teen thought that it would be easy, but he didn't realize that he would catch a case of Niwa-complex along the way. It complicated things… a lot. Was it supposed to be that way? It seemed right…
As Satoshi walked out of the school building, he saw the Harada twins and Saehara heading the other way towards Daisuke's house. The trio had claimed dibs on taking the redhead's homework to him. Of course, three people weren't needed, but Risa and Saehara wanted to tag along with Riku, completely failing to notice her blatant implications that she wanted to go alone.
The Commander envied them, in a way. They were free to be with Daisuke however and whenever they wanted to - both fate and rationale prohibited Satoshi that privilege, but in exchange he had a special connection to Daisuke. Somehow he wondered if they've met each other in other lifetimes before, and if they'll meet again if their family rivalry continued long enough. If that was the case then Satoshi would just let Dark go with the art pieces.
Something to look forward to, he thought privately to himself. Maybe then Daisuke could be more than his friend. It was pathetic for him to think that way, he knew, but it shed a comforting light on his gloomy soul.
000
.-. You didn't eat anything. .-.
Satoshi filed some paperwork away at the Police Station. Dark had a whole cabinet to himself, the contents of which having accumulated over the years. Satoshi actually read the older cases on the thief. They were nowhere near as elaborate as his notes. He placed a thick folder in the top drawer before pulling out another behind it. 'What?' he asked absently, not really paying any attention to Krad.
.-. Aren't you hungry? You're already malnourished as you are! .-. Krad sounded royally pissed. Satoshi took an odd satisfaction at upsetting him so.
'And your point is?' he replied indifferently, sitting at his desk and opening the Manila folder. He had other reports on Dark at home, but those were more personal. The ones he filed here were for the public, to let them know what he was up to. Satoshi often wrote less here, but it was still helpful. There were dates, precise times, traps used, and Dark's evasions. He, of course, left out the dialogue that happened between those times. At home… Satoshi made note of all of it.
.-. What do you mean, 'and your point is'? Go eat something! .-.
'I'm not hungry.'
'Like hell you aren't! You only had a slice of bread for lunch and a box of juice. Are you a damned machine or something?'
Satoshi couldn't concentrate with that loud voice echoing in his head. 'And are you my nutritionist? Shut up. I'm. Not. Hungry.' His stomach felt a little empty, but he was used to it. It's not like it really mattered anyway.
Krad was fuming. He feared for his host's system, if not only for Satoshi. No Satoshi equals no body to manifest in. No body before marrying and having a son equals no more descendants for the Hikaris. No more Hikaris equals the victory and flourish of Niwas. The demon couldn't stand the results of all these. .-. You will eat! .-. he demanded. .-. Or I will force you. Don't think I can't. It's bad enough that you have low blood pressure already. .-.
'Thanks for lecturing on my medical history,' Satoshi bit back sarcastically. 'Now do you want to leave me alone?'
.-. Damn it, I swear, Satoshi… .-.
'I'm just your host, Krad. What do you care?'
The blonde wanted to respond – he really did, but he knew that no matter what he said, Satoshi wouldn't be convinced. He immediately regretted saying all those horrible things to him the night before and this morning. He might have made a little more impact than he intended. Satoshi was deprived of love, warmth, and happiness. What more was adding food to the list? The essential things that a person needed in life was what Satpshi was forced to do without.
000
It was about ten p.m. when Satoshi got home. He really had nothing else to do in his rather mundane routine that was his life. Krad had surprisingly been quiet since the station, and it was very much welcome in Satoshi's mind. He now had time to do a little more introspection to figure out what he wanted to do with the remainder of his time.
000 000
A month had passed since the incident at the Moonlight heist (which was barely successful). Daisuke's arm had healed rather nicely (with no thefts between his recovery) and enjoyed the time he had off from stealing and running around on rooftops (although, there were still traps at home). He also had a great time explaining how he got hurt. His mom said to tell them that he fell while painting the roof and skid on the driveway. Secretly, he hated the idea. The light scar that would be left behind had a much bigger story than that, and it would be added to the collection of other Dark-Satoshi related injuries.
This scar, however, was the one that Daisuke was sure he'd refuse to forget. Much more damage could have been caused if Satoshi didn't awaken and stop Krad. It wasn't his friend's fault – it was the enemy's, and Daisuke spent that whole month questioning Satoshi's motives. Why did he save him? He knew that Satoshi had chosen him over himself. Daisuke caused him nothing but trouble and pain. Why go through the extra effort to make sure that he was okay?
: What about you, Dai-chan? Why do you share lunch with him and smile at him when he's out to get us:
Daisuke stared up at his ceiling as he lay in bed. 'Because he needs someone… to be nice to him,' he replied carefully. Why did he want to be with Hiwatari-kun?
: So it's just pity:
'No! Not at all!' Daisuke replied quickly. 'I mean that Hiwatari-kun needs a friend, and I –'
Dark smirked. :You what, Dai-chan:
Daisuke didn't mean for the change of subject, but a thought just occurred to him. 'Hey, why did you change into me when Hiwatari-kun was transforming? You said it would help, but it only made it worse for him.' He remembered Satoshi's exact words. The blue haired teen actually told him that he was hurting. It pained Daisuke to see him struggling and losing to his inner demon.
: We've been over this before, Dai-chan. Hiwatari has the same condition as our family does: the thief replied not impatiently,: except he doesn't get a dashing thief like you do.: He added with a wink. Daisuke sent Dark a glare.
'I'm serious, Dark! You've told me that before, but you still didn't tell me what made Hiwatari-kun turn into Krad. Is it love - like us - or is it hatred?' Daisuke felt that he would be devastated if it was the latter. Maybe that was why Dark never answered him – he knew it would crush the young teen.
Daisuke would never know the reason anytime soon.
: I'll tell you someday later, Dai-chan, when things aren't so complicated for either you or Hiwatari, but all I can say is that you make him change into Krad.:
000
During the time that went by, Daisuke noticed with concern that Satoshi was getting steadily thinner than he already was. The normally slender teen became nearly skeletal. His skin paled further, nearly reflecting the light off his skin. Daisuke didn't eat lunch with Satoshi on the roof anymore (much to his dismay), and he wasn't sure if the Commander was even eating at all (Satoshi didn't sit on the roof anymore). The thought scared him.
Although Daisuke was forbidden to see or talk to Satoshi the redhead did so occasionally. It was very discreet with short conversations and smile or two, but nothing more, for his mother had a knack for knowing what he did 24/7. Instead, the Harada twins took up most of his time, asking him to accompany them here and there, doing this and that. Daisuke barely had time for anything or anyone else.
Alas, Emiko-san figured that Daisuke was well enough for another job, and she was impatient to get him going. One afternoon after school, she excitedly told Daisuke that he would be stealing a pretty statue at a nearby museum, and the previously sent note made the time for nine p.m. Daisuke, although saddened that his vacation was over, was a little glad to be back. His life was free, but mildly boring, without the thrill of a chase.
Besides, he'd get to see Hiwatari-kun on a more exclusive basis once again. Hopefully their last encounter wouldn't be as bad as the last one, but maybe they'd get to find out a little more about each other. Daisuke's heart was practically skipping beats as the time neared.
000
Thick lines of officers guarded the museum, even more so than before. Dark easily evaded the spotlights, watchful eyes, and primary traps before making his way down the halls and floors to his target. So far, he hadn't run into anyone of importance, much to his disappointment. He didn't want to voice it to Daisuke, but he was upset. Where was Satoshi? Was it another grand plot to capture him? Dark let himself believe that thought for a while until he finally had the desired statue in hand (after avoiding much of the police force). Satoshi still didn't meet him, and again, when he had escaped the building fifteen minutes later (he was taking his time, hoping that the Commander, or even Krad, would pop out of the shadows). Nothing.
Daisuke noticed the lack of excitement in Dark's mind. 'No Hiwatari-kun?' he asked tentatively.
Dark flew home, prize in hand. He gazed at it for a while. "This is a Hikari work, right?"
'Yeah. All of mom's targets are Hikari related.'
"The Commander wasn't at school today?"
'No. I haven't noticed him much, actually. I don't see him as often anymore.' Daisuke's voice fell guiltily. 'Nothing happened to him, right? I mean, what could go wrong?'
Dark remained silent until he arrived home and gave Emiko her prize. She wailed joyfully and hugged him before storing the item in her secret vault. The thief then went upstairs and opened Daisuke's window.
'Are we sneaking out?' Daisuke asked, a little unnerved.
Dark crawled out, as if in reply. "We're going to see that damned Commander," he muttered thoughtfully. "This is unacceptable."
'What are you talking about? What's wrong, Dark?' The thief was really beginning to frighten the redhead.
The violet haired teen flew through the night sky, the wind biting cold, yet refreshing. He had a little confession to make to Daisuke. : I've been watching him when you haven't Dai-chan. Before the Haradas can pull you away, or while you're paying attention to sensei, I can still see Hiwatari. He looked horrible.:
Daisuke panicked. 'What? Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't I know about it?'
: Even when you spoke to him I could see it in his eyes.: Dark continued softly. :I bet that bastard Krad is torturing him somehow.: He was sure of it, but Satoshi's state of withdrawal could also be caused by one other factor.
000
Ten minutes later, the thief arrived at Satoshi's door. Instead of knocking or ringing the bell, he hacked into the keypad on the door lock and stepped right in, ignoring Daisuke's outraged comments about "breaking and entering". Dark's senses heightened as he sought out to find the Commander in the flat. The lights were on, its luminescence reflecting almost blindingly off white walls. He could already feel another's presence.
Slowly making his way down the hall from the living room, sounds of labored breath and the rustle of movement could be heard. Dark rushed into the room at the end of the hall where moonlight filtered in the otherwise dark place.
Krad stood shakily on both feet, leaning against a cluttered desk for support. He had a hand on his forehead as the other braced itself on the hard wood. Dark watched as the hunter struggled to stand and eventually give out. He rushed forward to catch the limp blonde.
"You're so damn light," Dark muttered almost angrily, weighing the figure in his arms. The dim lighting accented Krad's features. Shadows filled in the bony dents where skin and tissue were supposed to cover healthily. Krad's jaw, the column of his throat, cheekbones, collarbones, and ribs were evident through the large blue button down. Pale skin gleamed eerily in the moon's glow.
The thief could feel Daisuke's panic seeping in through their link. His host's anxiety was mixing with his, therefore causing it to increase dramatically. His heart hammered in his chest as he felt the fragile demon in his arms take in shallow breaths. :I need you to calm down, Dai-chan. : he said inwardly, standing with Krad safely in his arms. The position felt so familiar, but not even Satoshi was that light when he caught him a month ago as he fell from the sky.
'Dark, we have to help him! What happened to Hiwatari-kun?' Daisuke was frantic and heavy with guilt and horror. It was his fault, wasn't it? Daisuke had hurt him so much beyond repair. He didn't notice that Satoshi had been ignoring his nutritional needs, instead dismissing them as if they were nothing. Daisuke couldn't stand it. If Satoshi's body were to suddenly shut down -.
: You need to relax, Daisuke. Sorry.: Dark pushed the redhead further back into their consciousness before closing the bond shut. He couldn't concentrate with a frightened Daisuke, nor would he allow the young teen to witness the situation further. He placed Krad on the bed when the blonde finally started to come around.
Confused and weary golden orbs peaked open to see a faintly illuminated Dark Mousy. Krad wanted to flinch away, to push himself out of Dark's hold, but he couldn't even raise his arms. An odd sense of relief spread through him at the unwelcome, but familiar face. "What…?"
"Shh," Dark hushed, assessing him quickly. He saw ribs raise and fall steadily, then a sudden drop off to the torso. Dark noticed the protruding hipbones jutting out sharply over the waistband of black boxers, the smooth skin revealing the creamy bone beneath. "What the hell have you done?" he asked, actually scared for his enemy.
Krad gave a resigned sigh. "It's that damned host of mine," he cursed softly. "Won't do anything I tell him."
"Where is Hiwatari?"
"Inside. He made me take over. Said he didn't care what I did… It's not like I can… do anything in this condition anyway." Krad felt terribly sleepy. He had wanted to get up and try feeding himself, but his body refused too much food, throwing it back out the way it came in. Krad could still feel his esophagus burning with the latest incident just a couple of hours ago.
"We have to take you to the hospital," Dark said at last, meeting dim golden eyes. They seemed empty without the malice bleeding through their depths. He oddly missed the expression; at least Krad was alive with it. "Tell Hiwatari to come out."
Of course, Krad would be damned to take orders from anyone, especially Dark, but this situation was beyond his pride. Satoshi was dying – both inside and out. If he was physically healed first, maybe the inside could be worked on next. Krad wanted to cry for this sad fate, but he couldn't. Instead, he forced an unconscious Satoshi to the physical world, concentrating on the angel beside him. Dark watched the transformation painfully. Satoshi looked worse than Krad, and that was saying a lot.
Dark gently scooped up the feather-light figure, opened the large window, and flew off into the night, hoping that the Commander could find the help that he desperately needed.
000
It was nearly one o'clock a.m. when Dark could relax in Satoshi's hospital room. He sat on the doctor's stool, gazing at the blue haired teen with a sad expression on his face. Satoshi had various wires hooked up to him, including an IV tube and a heart monitor. He looked so fragile, as if he'd break if Dark touched him.
The lights were off. Moonlight streamed in through the windows of the fifth floor, bathing the unconscious figure in an ethereal light. Dark took this quiet time to reflect on the line of the Hikaris. While their works were invaluable and incredibly beautiful, the artifacts only reflected a fraction of the maker from whom they were created. The delicate hands that painted, sculpted and shaped each individual art were divine in the sense that they crafted something so timeless – so utterly stunning that they captured the hearts of all who looked upon them.
The Niwas only wanted preserve the Hikari art. In a sense, it was their duty. Dark's descendants have worked to keep the Hikari works through the ages. Why? …Which of the many answers should made itself be known first?
Dark sighed and brought a hand up to brush a lock of Satoshi's hair away from his face. 'Such sad eyes', he thought, reflecting on the blue orbs that lied underneath closed lids. Hikaris often died tragic deaths – an artist's death. It was too early for Satoshi. He had yet to create his masterpiece.
"Where is my son? Is he all right?" Dark could make out Hiwatari-san's voice from the hall along with a doctor trying to calm him down. Thinking it was the time to leave, Dark let his gaze linger on the Commander's prone figure before disappearing out the window.
000
Daisuke lied cuddled in his bed, feeling too terrible to sleep just yet. He didn't know! He didn't know what Satoshi was going through, and he wanted to help him with all his heart, but his presence would only make things worse. The saddened little redhead didn't know what else to do.
: Get some sleep, Dai-chan: Dark tried to comfort him. : We'll see him tomorrow.:
Tears of compassion fell from Daisuke's eyes, sniffling as With came up and nuzzled his cheeks dry with its fur. He smiled gratefully and held the rabbit-thing close to him. 'But what would make him do that, Dark?' he asked, confused and horrified. 'Why…?'
When Dark didn't reply anytime soon, Daisuke's spent emotions finally made him sleepy, and he fell into a dreamless slumber. Dark found none that night.
To be continued...
Hi all! Sorry for the long update. I actually finished this chapter a lot sooner, but I wanted to revise it some more. I hope I did well. The opening quote is from Volume Six on DN Angel when Daisuke is explaining his artwork to Riku. It completely reminded me of Satoshi, and it inspired me to change the plot and title. GOMEN!
Sorry if this chapter was a little... okay... A LOT angsty. Thank you for all of your reviews. I really appreciate them.
SapphirexKat2
