Chapter 4: Don't Cry Out Loud
Baby cried the day the circus came to town,
'Cause she didn't want parades just passing by her.
So she painted on a smile and then took up with some clown,
While she danced without a net upon the wire.
I know a lot about her, 'cause you see,
Baby, is an awful lot like me.
Don't cry out loud,
Just keep it inside,
And learn how to hide your feelings.
Fly high and proud.
And if you should fall,
Remember you almost had it all.
Song Credit: Don't Cry Out Loud Melissa Manchester
Natalie stepped out of Ultra Violet and headed across the parking lot, stopping when RJ blocked her path: "so the Princess bails out her loser brother once again," he snarked. "I didn't think you were that stupid."
"I'm not bailing him out. I'm investing," Natalie challenged. "And considering the terms I had Evangeline lay out, I don't think that I'm the one who should be considered stupid."
"Really? And what would they be?"
"Apparently, they're tougher than yours. Only he has no one else to go to now."
"Except Lindsey," RJ countered.
"Maybe, but I'll still retain an interest," she answered. "Not so stupid after all, huh?"
"I'm impressed. Seems at least one member of your family has a brain. When it becomes yours, let me know. I might have an offer for you."
"And if I want to own instead of just waitress."
RJ laughed at that: "we'll still talk."
"Will we?"
"Unlike most of your family, I happen to like you. You have spunk, and I think we could make an interesting team."
"Just what type of proposition are you making there, RJ?"
RJ laughed slightly at that, "as interesting as the other type might be, just a business one--- and maybe one of friendship."
Natalie tilted her head slightly at that: "I could use a friend. Especially one as seemingly loyal as you. However, you ever double cross me the way you have Lindsey, I'd have to make you pay."
"You think you could?" RJ asked amused.
"You willing to find out?" she retorted as footsteps sounded behind her.
"Why don't you leave her alone?" the voice asked.
"Well, well, well. If it isn't the body part snatcher. Surprised they let you out of jail so soon."
Paul smirked at that: "too bad Vega's too incompetent to put you there," he countered as he pulled Natalie by her arm. "Come on."
"I'm not going anywhere with you," she argued trying to pull away from his hold.
"What? You prefer his company?" Paul asked.
"Considering what you did, you have to ask?" she shot back as she broke free.
"Come on, I didn't know he was going to. . . I would've made sure your Mom got that heart!" he protested.
"Yeah? For how much? What would your cut have been?"
"Natalie, come on. You know that I just got in over my head. I had to. . ."
"Different song, same refrain," Natalie broke in. "You know until you get some height, you had better stay the hell out of the water! And while you're at it, stay away from me!" she added turning away from him.
Angrily, Paul grabbed her and pulled her back against him, moving to speak directly in her ear: "You don't mean that. You know I'm the only one who really cares about you. I would've made you a hero," he added caressing her neck, enjoying knowing that her shiver was caused by fear and not lust. "You like this. . . us. You keep lying to yourself. You're not one of them, you holier than thou bitch. You like what I do to you. What I bring to you."
"You kept me away from them!" she gasped as he tightened his hold. "You make me do things that I no longer want to. You make me lose my head."
"It's fun. It's freeing. Let me help you be free."
"I don't want your type of freedom!"
"You want it. Crave it, and a whole lot more," he countered, rubbing against her, till a hand clamped on his shoulder and a gun cocked at his temple.
"Sounds to me like she wants to be left alone," RJ said in his ear. "So, let her, or else. . . well, as you said Antonio can't get me into a cell and I'm sure the Feds won't look too hard. What with the Santis after you."
"You wouldn't."
"Care to try me?"
Swallowing, Paul pushed Natalie away from him and into the wall of the club. "You'll be sorry. You both will," he announced as he stormed off.
"Yeah. I'm shaking in my shoes," RJ called after him as he reholstered his gun and crossed to Natalie. "You ok?" he asked.
"Ah huh. . ." she answered shakily.
"Man's an ass. Don't know why you ever dated him. Even more so, don't know why McBaine didn't stop you," he muttered as he shrugged out of his suit jacket and placed it over her shoulders.
"Like he cares?"
"Oh, he cares. I see that much," RJ remarked as she looked at him, her eyes starting to clear. "Sorry, I took so long, but I had to get the drop on him," he said softly as he took in the scrap on her cheek and the bruise that was starting to form around it.
"It's. . . I could've. . ." she shook her head to try to clear it. "Thanks. Although I don't know if I'm gonna like whatever you'll want in return."
"Consider it a freebee. I don't like guys roughing up women," he added at her look of surprise. "You going to be ok getting home?" he asked as he turned her and started to move her towards her car.
"Yeah."
"He bothers you, call me. I'll take care of him."
"I can take care of myself."
"I know. But I also know that guys like Crammer turn even the most level of heads," he rebutted as they stopped next to her car, "you really hit that wall hard didn't you?"
"Had worse falls in my life," she shrugged.
"Well, take care of it. Wouldn't want to be blamed," he snarked.
"Don't worry. I'll make sure Antonio knows that you were the one trying to help," she answered as she went to shrug out of his jacket.
"Yeah, like he'd believe it. Keep the jacket," he added as he opened the door for her.
"Well who'd have thought. You're a gentleman."
"Just don't let it get out."
"Wouldn't dream of it. Who'd believe me anyway?" she asked as he shut the door. . .
Antonio shut the door to the office, his steps heavy as he crossed to the phone. He knew that John had a point, but he was also annoyed. He was a man with responsibilities. A fiancé and a daughter. John should've respected that. He should've traded him time so that he could spend some with Jessica.
Hell, he would've looked in on Natalie himself. She was, after all, his sister-in-law. But with how she had been acting lately, she deserved to be upset. She should be reevaluating her situation--- alone.
Shaking his head, he picked up the phone and dialed Jess's number, smiling as her voice came over the line, only to frown at her question. "No, hun. Change of plans. John wouldn't take the stakeout for me after all."
"Why?" Jess whined. "Antonio?" she prodded on his sigh.
"Something's apparently up with Natalie. He was going to check on her."
"Yeah something's up with her all right. I can't believe she'd. . . UGH!"
"Jess, what's going on?"
"Nothing. Everything," she answered. "We had a fight earlier. Apparently she wants to get back at me for what I said, even though what she said was more hurtful."
"Jess, she didn't. . ."
"It doesn't matter. . ."
"You sure?"
"Yeah. You'll come by later in the morning?"
"You bet."
"See you then then," she sighed as the dial tone rang in her ear. "Oh, you're going to be sorry for this," she muttered as she crossed the room and grabbed her purse and keys, slamming the door behind her.
Natalie grabbed her purse and keys as she got out of her car, letting the door slam shut behind her as she hit the remote to lock the door.
Seeing a shadow on her stoop, her steps faltered slightly, until she realized who was there. "Thanks for scaring the hell out of me," she complained as she continued up the drive.
"You should have a time light," John chided as he rose from the stoop.
"I do. It's out and I haven't really had to time to change it," she answered as she pushed past him to insert her key into the door.
"I'll do it before I leave."
"Who saids you're staying? Why are you here anyway? I know you guys got Paul and that he's out on bail," she groused as she pushed the door open.
"Crammer made bail?" John asked as he picked up a shopping back and followed her in.
"Apparently," she answered as she flicked on the lights. "Who invited you in?"
"Renee was worried about you," he answered, then paused. "Is there are reason why you're wearing RJ Gannon's jacket?"
"Tell Renee I'm fine. I don't need a babysitter," she replied as she moved stiffly into the living room and dropped the jacket onto the couch before going to see if she had any messages.
"Yeah, you look fine. If RJ did something. . ."
"He didn't."
"Natalie. . ."
"He didn't do anything. I'm fine. Leave me alone."
John sighed as he dropped the bag of groceries he carried onto the couch and moved up behind her, "you're so no fine it's not even worth denying it," he said as he placed his hands on her shoulders, dropping them when she hissed out a breath. "What's wrong?"
"It's just been a long day. Please, just leave me alone."
"I can't," he sighed as he gently touched her elbow. "Natalie, please. . ."
"Please what?"
"At least look at me."
"John. . ."
"Prove you're all right."
Sighing, she turned, letting him see the marks that were on her face. "I'm not OK, OK?"
"Who did this?"
"I tripped."
"On your own or with help?"
"Does it matter?"
"If Gannon. . ."
"It wasn't RJ," she defended as she pulled away and started pacing the room. "I went to Ultra Violet to see Rex and. . . RJ and I talked and then Paul showed up. . . I tripped OK? RJ gave me his jacket. I don't know why. He walked me to my car. That's it," she rambled, ending by dropping onto the couch, at a crumpling sound she shifted and looked at John.
"That was supposed to be dinner," he answered as he moved over to see it next to her.
"Oh. I'm not up to cooking."
"I'll cook."
"John. . ."
"I need the practice," he shrugged. "Go take a shower and clean up. I'll get things started," he said as he rose.
"I'm not going to be good company."
"So. I'm not exactly known for my social skills. Besides, I don't want you to be alone if Crammer shows up."
"I think RJ gave him enough of a scare that he won't. At least not tonight."
"Do I even want to know?"
"Probably not."
"Tell me any way, now that you've got my curiosity piqued."
"Promise you won't arrest him."
"Natalie. . ."
"Promise. He was just helping me out."
"And he'll want something in return," John cautioned.
"He said he doesn't. That he just doesn't like seeing a woman roughed up. His words."
"All right. What'd he do?"
"Your word."
"You have it."
"He pulled a gun on Paul and said something. I missed most of it."
"Because Paul pushed you into something."
"He let me go. I tripped."
"Same difference."
"I was lucky RJ was there," Natalie admitted shakily.
"Yeah. You were. And that that's all that Paul did," John answered as he rubbed a finger down her cheek. "Go wash away some of the day's problems. I'll start dinner."
"If only it was that simple," she sighed timidly.
"It's a start any way," he said softly as he rose, pausing to kiss her forehead. "You're safe now. OK? No problems for an hour or two."
"Yeah. Sure, she sighed as she shifted on the couch and stared at the ceiling.
Looking at her, John wished he knew a better way to get through. "Mind if I put on some music?"
"Nah. Go ahead. There's a CD In the player. Change it if you want," she shrugged as she pushed to her feet, wobbling slightly before she started across the room and towards the stairs.
Once she was out of view, John started the CD, smiling as the music came out of the speakers and he recognized his mother's voice. . .
