Untouchable
Stardrops
Summary: Lily Evans was beautiful, intelligent and mysterious. People saw her as untouchable. James Potter was a handsome, outgoing and popular. The two despised each other –determined to keep their relationship strictly that of enemies. But as time goes on, they begin to grow up and develop feelings that go much deeper than hatred. Their mutual fear of love becomes a myth when they discover that love really does overcome everything.
Disclaimer: The characters, settings and basic plots of the Harry Potter novels belong to J.K. Rowling. I own nothing.
Chapter Three: Just Another Girl
Lily woke early the next morning, her head hurting from dehydration as they'd slept with all their tower windows open. She drew her curtain wider and blinked in the bright light of the sun. It was entirely too early to be up when she'd been awake so late last night, but she couldn't stay asleep any longer because today was the first day of classes. If anyone was eager to get to class and absorb herself in schoolwork, it was Lily Evans.
She rose and drank a glass of water before dressing. Her heart was light and her face hurt from smiling so much the previous night. She'd had a wonderful time at that party – just being able to relax and hang out with people who were amusing and friendly. She hadn't often experienced that kind of thing, and it was nice to have been included for once.
If only James Potter hadn't made her so nervous the whole night.
She knew he didn't realise she'd noticed, but she had been uncomfortable beneath his scrutiny all night. She wondered what he'd been thinking, and prayed that he hadn't been coming up with plans to embarrass her further.
Opening the dormitory door, she looked back at the sleeping figures hidden behind their curtains. Her new friends wouldn't be rising for a while, she guessed. She quietly closed the door and tiptoed down the stairs to the Great Hall for breakfast.
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Across the tower, the boys' dormitory was silent except for Sirius snoring gently. The boys seemed completely oblivious to the fact that it was morning, and slumbered peacefully. But behind his red velvet curtains, James was lying wide awake, his stomach clenched and forehead creased with puzzling thoughts. He couldn't understand why he was acting the way he was. There was no reason to be getting so uptight where Lily Evans was concerned. She was just another chick.
But even as he thought this, he found himself contradicting his own conscious thoughts with unconscious ones. He didn't think of her as just another chick. She was different to any other girl he'd been with. She wasn't interested in sleeping with the most popular or gorgeous boy at Hogwarts. She was looking for something better than that. James had never come across any girl like that – every other girl he'd seduced had been only to happy to become another notch in the bedpost of James Potter.
So did he like her then?
Closing his eyes, he knew the answer was affirmative. How could he doubt it? There'd never been such an element of mystery in a girl before, never such a captivating beauty. He knew he liked her. His friends could sense that he liked her. Did she know? Did her friends know? Girls were supposed to be receptive to that sort of vibe. But he hadn't been giving off friendly or flirty vibes anymore. He'd been sending hateful vibes, ones of loathing.
He couldn't help it, sometimes. He didn't like emotions. They complicated life far more than it needed to be. Anger was easy for him to deal with. He could punch someone and rid himself of it right away. Happiness and joy were also good. But when it came to things like love and guilt and sorrow, he couldn't do it. He'd do anything to turn it into one of the other emotions and make his life simpler. Shouting and getting angry seemed so much easier than crying or feeling guilty.
But he couldn't escape it this time. It had been hiding at the back of his mind since that first day on the train when he'd spotted her and realised that they were both the Heads. In fact … if he thought carefully, he hadn't hated Lily for a long time now. He'd been more fascinated by her than anything else. It had to have been at least three years since he'd really disliked the girl. His hatred had stopped being a loathing and turned into infatuation. He remembered occasions in the past when he'd enjoyed annoying her, and realised he hadn't liked it because she'd been angry. He'd enjoyed it because she was paying attention to him. He had known it subconsciously then, he knew it consciously now. He liked Lily Evans, and he didn't have a clue about how to get her to feel the same.
His former tactics of seduction were useless now. He was completely helpless.
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Lily sat, ready for the day, at the Gryffindor table, downing her cereal. She felt clean and ready for the day, her hair pulled back as tightly as was physically possible from her face. Her face was, as usual, completely clear of makeup and shiny with health. Her robes were neat and unwrinkled and her black school shoes were shiny.
Sighing, she glanced at her timetable. She'd been given it the night before by Professor McGonagall.
It was very full, and she'd gotten all the subjects she'd wanted. This term was going to be good for her – her last year at Hogwarts and she was likely to do well. Grinning, she downed the last of her cereal and got up from the table. She turned to leave and got a huge shock to see James standing behind her, watching her with interest.
She gasped - her heart racing. She'd thought she was alone at the Gryffindor table. She definitely hadn't heard him walk up behind her. She blinked confusedly a few times before regaining composure. "What do you want, Potter?" she snapped, annoyed that she'd been caught so off guard by the boy.
He shrugged carelessly. "What a person generally wants early in the morning, Evans. Breakfast. Now would you kindly remove yourself from right in front of me so I can get past?"
She glowered for a moment before stepping around him and leaving. James watched her go, his stomach heavier than before. She was walking quickly, but her steps were even and she walked with her head high, her authoritative posture still beautiful to James even if she was less than indifferent to him.
"She's just another chick," he told himself. Then, unable to stop himself, he snorted out aloud, earning himself a glare from a sixth year Hufflepuff who was sulking into her breakfast. The hall was nearly empty but people were starting to trickle in. He gave the sixth year a withering glance, turned and left. He'd lost his appetite already.
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Sirius, Remus and Peter were beginning to wake as James re-entered the dormitory. He put on a smile and forced himself to sound cheerful, even though all he wanted was to go back to sleep for another few hours and stop thinking about that elusive redhead who was occupying his thoughts so much recently.
"Take your time waking up," he said, smiling lightly at the boys. "Come on, classes will be starting within the next hour and a half."
Peter opened a sleepy eye and muttered, "What the hell are you doing up so early anyway, Prongs? You were the last to go to bed last night and the first up in the morning. Normally you can't bear to be awake early and sleep at least until midday."
James shrugged, not answering. He walked over to Peter's bed and pulled the covers off, causing Peter to shriek and throw his pillow at James.
"All right, all right! I'm up!" Peter got up and stormed into the bathroom, muttering obscenities all the way. James grinned at his handiwork and collapsed on his own bed, staring up at the ceiling, once again picturing Lily's face as she'd cuttingly snapped at him earlier.
"What's up, Prongs?" asked Remus, who was sitting up in bed, blinking and trying to accustom himself to the bright daylight.
James tensed. "What do you mean?" he asked, sitting up himself. "I'm fine."
Sirius yawned and rubbed his eyes. "You are always the last person to get up in the mornings, Prongs. You're up early and you were really quiet at the party last night. What gives?"
James shrugged. "Nothing's wrong, I'm just getting back into the swing of being at school again. You know, being Head Boy and having all this responsibility."
Sirius nodded. "Yeah, that's going to suck a bit for you. But at least we won't get into half as much trouble now, Moony still being a prefect and you being the Head Boy. We can cause twice as much mischief for the same amount of consequences!"
"Or we could cause the same amount of mischief for less consequences," Remus suggested, grinning slightly at Sirius's enthusiasm.
"Well, that's no fun, Moony," Sirius said, pouting slightly. "We're Marauders after all, it's our job to disrupt the school and interrupt learning."
Remus rolled his eyes and studied James closely, ignoring Sirius completely now. "Are you still thinking about Lily, Prongs?"
James stared at him, his eyes wide. "Moony, you have got to stop doing that." He groaned and lay back on his bed. "I was thinking about her, yes."
Sirius looked up, immediately interested. "You mean you finally realised that you actually like her, after all these years of tormenting her?"
James groaned audibly. "Why didn't you guys pound it into my head? Now I've gone and screwed up any chances I had with her by being an insufferable git towards her!"
Remus shook his head. "We did try to tell you, Prongs. It was attempted several times actually. But you bit our heads off and laughed at us every time we even mentioned the mere possibility of you liking Lily."
James sighed. "Well …," he paused, not liking the idea of saying it out loud in case it made it real and there was a way he could somehow convince himself that what he felt was in fact imaginary, "I think I do like Lily."
He was right, once he'd said it, it made it immediately real and he started to wish he'd just kept it to himself. The others didn't look surprised, and James realised that they really had known for a while and weren't simply goading him. He buried his head in his hands. "Oh, crap. What the hell do I do now?"
Peter poked his head out of the bathroom. "Am I missing something important?"
"James has come to terms with his secret adoration for Lily," Sirius informed him.
"Dammit! Why do I always miss the good bits in the conversation?" Peter griped. He sat down on Remus's bed and looked at James. "So what are you going to do? She hates you."
James glared. "Yes, Wormtail, I am aware that she hates me. I don't know what I'm going to do. But thank you for your kind words; you have a knack for lifting my mood."
"No worries," Peter answered cheerfully. "But seriously, are you going to try and get her to go out with you, or are you just going to ignore her and try to forget that you're hot for her?"
James flinched at both suggestions. "How about I simply pretend that I don't exist?" he suggested himself. "That would solve everyone's problems."
Remus sternly looked at him. "That would solve nothing. Do you simply fancy her or does she actually mean something to you?"
James thought for a moment. He didn't want to voice the thoughts he'd had about Lily. They were private, and for his own viewing only. Toughening his expression, he shrugged and said, "Well, like I said, she's just like any other girl really." This had no effect on Remus, who seemed to have guessed his real answer anyway. Sirius wrinkled his nose and shrugged at Peter who was looking confused at the conversation's sudden change. James was blankly staring at the window, inwardly fighting his continuing argument about whether or not Lily really did mean anything to him.
He rose and abruptly stopped the conversation. He didn't think he could cope with hearing any more about Lily Evans. If he did, he was likely to explode. "Let's get ready for classes. We've got Transfiguration up first."
As the other boys grudgingly got up and readied themselves for the day, he stared moodily at the door. He'd gotten himself into this horrible mess, now he'd have to somehow get himself out. Shaking his head, he banished thoughts of Lily Evans from his mind. She was nothing more than another girl. She was nothing special. She was just a girl.
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When Jenny, Sarah and Emma woke the next morning, they realised that Lily had already been and left. Her books and clothes were gone and her bed was neatly made with even her pyjamas folded on the pillow.
The three girls talked as they dressed. They had all noticed the looks that James had been giving Lily, and they had seen how awkward she'd felt under his unrelenting stare.
"She hates him, he hates her. So why were they acting like that?" Jenny asked, her quiet voice full of confusion.
Emma hopped around madly, trying to put a sock on her foot. "Perhaps she doesn't hate him. We should check that. Or maybe he doesn't hate her. We should check that too."
"For heaven's sake, Emma, that sock is obviously too small. Wear a pair of mine instead." Sarah threw over a pair of pale yellow socks, knocking over Emma who was still hopping around.
"Thanks," Emma called, half laughing.
"Anyway, we know that he hates her, did you see the way that he talked to her on the carriages coming here? He so does not like her at all. And she glared at him with so much force I'm surprised he didn't wither on the spot. No, there's nothing more than hatred between the two of them – at least for the moment." Sarah opened her mouth wide to apply mascara on her bottom lashes.
"That's a very attractive look, Sarah," said Jenny, giggling. "Anyway, people's opinions can change within a very short time span. Perhaps he's realised what a nice person she is and has changed his mind about her?"
Emma snorted. "Well, he's going to have a hard time with her. There's no way in hell that she would sleep with him just because he's James Potter. That's definitely not Lily Evans."
"They have to share a common room. Perhaps they'll start a secret romance or something," said Sarah.
"You are obsessed with secret romances. You read far too many trashy Muggle novels. They won't have a secret romance," scoffed Emma.
"They'll probably end up at least friends – they have to work so closely that something is bound to change their opinion of each other," Jenny insisted.
"We can't know for sure. We'll wait and see." Emma had finally succeeded in pulling on both her socks and shoes. "I vote we go ask Lily what she thinks of him."
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Transfiguration had begun, and the teacher (Professor McGonagall) was pacing up and down the front of the room lecturing them about this being their final and most important year. Lily soaked in every word, although she'd already had this lecture from her parents and it was her own opinion anyway. But motivation was always helpful, and the more she had to begin with, the longer it would last.
James sat two rows behind Lily, and three seats to the left. From here, he had a good view of the side of her face and the back of her head. She was so beautiful. How could he have missed seeing someone so gorgeous, so obviously beyond even his wildest fantasies? How could he have permanently screwed his chances with said person? There was no way Lily Evans would ever like him back. He sighed and shifted in his seat.
"Mr Potter? Is there something distracting you?" Professor McGonagall snapped irritably.
James looked around at the class, seeing everyone staring at him. He knew they were waiting for the traditional wisecrack that he'd use to counter the teachers cross words, and consequently get a detention if she was in a bad mood. But he didn't have the mind nor the energy to think one up today.
"No, Professor," he replied politely. Every person in the class raised their eyebrows and some looked rather disappointed. Lily looked over at him, and upon seeing him return her gaze, she gave him a curt nod and returned her gaze to the teacher.
Remus watched James. Boy, James had it bad.
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A/N: Hey guys! Sorry about the short chapter, but I was really busy for the past few weeks and decided that it was better to post this than nothing for another two weeks. I hope this is okay, I wrote it a bit quickly. Any opinions, feedbacks, suggestions – you all know what to do! Drop me a review and I promise to try and incorporate any ideas.
Quick question for you – I'm really actually very interested to know. In your review, should you be wonderful enough to drop me one, could you tell me which of the Harry Potter boys you fancy most? (If you're a guy, feel free to tell me which girl you fancy most if you're uncomfortable with deciding which boy :P)
Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! You're all amazing, wonderful creatures who ought to be commended. I hand out chocolate bars to every one of you.
Ronin Daiymo: Okay, if you really want me to! Na, I got that that was sarcastic. But unfortunately for you, there's probably loads more on the way. Oh no! lol keep reading! And yes, the weird vibes are just you and your kinky mind!
Ronin Daiymo: Since you wrote two reviews, you get two replies. That's amazing! Total ego boost. Thank you so much! I'm very motivated to write now, but I sincerely hope this doesn't damage what you thought in your review:D
XO Moonsong: Hmmmm … probably. That thought didn't really occur to me. Damn. It's a bit too late now, isn't it. Well, they are going to share a common room, so that's pretty close to having their own rooms? Anyway, it will have to do I suppose. Thank you, and please keep reading! XXOO
Maraudermap03: Thank you! I'm trying to hurry it through the whole James realising blah blah blah thing, so that we can get to the interesting part. Only thing is that now I have no idea where to go from here. Any ideas would be muchly appreciated my dear! Hugz to you!
Rhandi: Awwww, you are just the sorta person I love to have reading my stories. I shall complete this story just for you. How does that sound? I hope it stays good til the end, it might be a long one or a short one depending on how it goes. I'm really glad you liked it, and I hope you keep reading. Lots and lots of chocolate goes out to you, my wonderful reviewer!
