Chapter 2: The Legend of Cluster

"Okay, explain this to me one more time, because I just can't grasp it," Kaiba said to Inu-yasha and his elderly friend, Fido the Wise, "He is your god?"

"That's right," Fido said, producing a huge book form his robes. "It's all laid out here in the great book."

"All I see are pictures and paw prints," Kaiba said. "Kagome, can you translate this gibberish?"

"Sure," Kagome said. "I can translate anything as long as it's not Welsh." she scanned the book, and processed the information. "Okay, as far as I can tell, this is how they interpreted the events of 3 million years ago. Cluster- Joey- was a great celestial being who lived among the upright walking gods. But he foresaw a terrible tragedy, and low, he took Spot, who was with child, and sealed her in the Cargo Bay, protecting her from the end of the world. When the god had all but disappeared, Spot's children multiplied, and when they learned to walk on two legs, it was given to them by Cluster who was sealed in time, that they should be a mighty race, and they should travel the stars where once the celestial beings had dwelled."

As Kagome narrated, she displayed the pictures of the tale, first one of Joey holding a sword in one hand, and scratching Spot's ears with the other. Then, in the next one, it was of Joey stuck in a box, and Dog-people bowing before it.

"So what happened?" Joey asked. "Where'd the race go? How come we get stuck with Fido and Noddle-breath?" Inu-yasha growled in protest.

"According to the book," Kagome said, "'Cluster gave to Spot the sacred writings, which said those with wisdom will know it's meaning: Two socks, one shirt, and a holey pair of jeans."

"Dang, my laundry list," Joey said slapping his head.

"You mean, it's not a star chart to the promised land?" Inu-yasha asked angrily.

"You thought it was a star chart?" Joey asked.

"And low," Kagome continued, "For those of great faith there shall be an everlasting reward of burgers, and savory donuts or aversive and filling, yay even individually wrapped packages of ketchup."

"Hey, that's my retirement plan," Joey said. "I was gonna open up a restaurant on Mars."

"That still doesn't explain what happened to the rest of Inu-yasha's race." Kaiba said.

"I'm getting to that," Kagome said. "Hmm… It looks like they were mostly killed off in holy wars."

"Wars?" Joey and Kaiba asked.

"Yeah, wars between the two factions," Kagome said. "One said that the restaurant uniforms were supposed to be blue, the other red."

"That's stupid," Joey said, "They were supposed to be green."

"You mean I've been wearing red all my life for nothing?" Inu-yasha snarled, getting angrier. "Well that's just great! I lose everything because of stupid guy in a box!"

"Hey," Joey started, but Kagome went on.

"So it was that the wisest and bravest of factions came together and signed a peace treaty, then using the great chart, they built two arcs to search for the great promised land, leaving only the sick, the infirm, and the crippled behind."

"Well bravo," Kaiba said, "Just what's wrong with you, Dog-boy."

"Nothing, I was born after that," Inu-yasha said.

"He was born from the cripple and the idiot." Fido said.

"What idiot?" Inu-yasha asked.

"Your father, boy."

"Oh, well that explains why he was trying to eat his own feet?" Inu-yasha said, crossing his arms.

"That reminds me" Joey said, looking at his own feet, "How long's it been since I trimmed my toenails?"

"I refuse to abandon m faith," Fido said. "Now that Cluster has returned to us, we shall- uhhhhhhhhhh!" Fido said, clutching his chest. Inu-yasha caught him in his arms.

"Hey old man, are you okay?" Inu-yasha asked him. Then, the old Dog slumped and went limp.

Transition

"We're here to say goodbye to Fido the Wise," Kaiba said somberly. They were gathered around a garbage pod decked out like a coffin. Inu-yahsa had his head bowed as Kagome cried, and Joey threw flowers onto the pod. Then Kaiba continued, "What can be said of Fido? He was a good dog. A good, good dog." Then, Kagome opened the hatch, and shot the pod out into space.

"Well, Inu-yasha, looks like we're in the same boat," Joey said. "Looks like we're the last of or respective races."

"Yeah," Inu-yasha replied. "Sucks doesn't it?"

"Royally."