Joey laid asleep in his bunk, snoring loudly, while the hologram of Kaiba tossed and turned and covered his head with a pillow on the top bunk.
Suddenly, Kagome popped on the computer, her hair in curlers, "Is he still doing that?" she groaned.
"He hasn't stopped all night." Kaiba said.
"So? You're a hologram, you can't sleep." Kagome said.
"I still want to close my eyes and meditate for a while," he replied, "And what's with the curlers? You're a computer program. You don't have real hair."
"I'm still a girl!" she yelled, then clicked off.
Then, Joey woke up, "Man I'm starved," he said, stretching, "What's to eat?"
Kagome can on again, fluffing her hair, "Anything you want. Come on down to the kitchens and I'll whip something up."
She turned in her monitor in the cafeteria, and found Inu-yasha slurping Ramen and watching old movies.
"Did you leave something for the other sentient being?" Kagome asked him.
"Mmm, yeah," he said with his mouth full. "I think there's half a raisin bagel left."
"Great, guess I'll use the replicator," she said. As she turned on her monitor in the kitchen. Joey came in.
"Alrighty then," Joey said. He looked at a toaster and said, "Hey, what's this do?"
"NOT THAT!" Kagome screamed, but too late. Joey pushed the button and it came to life.
"Good morning, hungry people!" it said happily. "The Pegasus Toast-a-matic 9000 at your service!"
"The what's it who's it?" Joey asked scratching his head.
"Great, we'll never shut him up," Kagome said.
"Oh, just one hungry person," said the toaster (it has Pegasus' voice). "Well then, what will it be? Would like some toast?"
"Uh," Joey hesitated.
"How about you, miss?" the Pegasus-toaster said. "Would you like a toaster pastry?"
"No thank you, I' can't eat anything. I'm a computer," Kagome said.
"Really? What kind?"
"I'm a super computer with infinite computation capacity."
"Really? So you know all the answers to every question in the universe?"
"Yeah sure."
"Then may I ask you something?" the toaster said.
"Is it about toasting of any kind?" Kagome asked.
"Of course not," the toaster said, hurt y her innuendo, "I'm not some one dimensional bread obsessed appliance."
"Okay," Kagome sighed, "What's your question?"
"Given that God is infinite, and the universe is also infinite," said the toaster, "Would you like a hot buttered muffin?"
"ARGHHHHH!' Kagome screamed.
"I'll just take this stuff and head out," Joey said, carrying a huge pile of food back to his bunk.
Transition
"What us that?" Kaiba asked Joey as Joey was hard at work.
"It's my own culinary creation," he said. "My triple fried egg, corn beef, chilie, cheese sandwich, with mustard."
"That's disgusting," Kaiba said. "And it smells worse than it looks."
"You kiddin?" Joey said, taking a huge mouth full, "This is the greatest food ever discovered. Course, you gotta eat it before the bread dissolves." so he wolfed it down.
As Joey was licking his greasy fingers, Inu-yasha walked in and took a sniff around. "Hey, what's that smell? It smells good."
"Like Cluster, like mongrel," Kaiba said.
"Hey guys, guess what," Kagome said, clicking on, "I've got the Virtual Reality simulators running."
"So you mean there's actually something fun to do now?" Inu-yasha asked.
"Yup, come on down guys, I'll show ya around." they cheered and hurried to the VR deck. Soon they were strapped in and had the helmets on their heads.
"Ready?" Kagome asked them.
"Are you sure this is safe?" Joey asked.
"Of course, and just to give you some peace of mind, I'll log on too. Meet ya inside." she said as the simulator activated.
Transition
"I don't see nothing," Joey said.
"Open your eyes," Kaiba said.
"Oh," said Joey as he opened them, and saw that he, Kaiba (without the H on his head) and Inu-yasha were standing in a huge field flowers.
"Were the heck are we?" Inu-yasha asked.
"This is the primary 'blank slate' program," said Kagome's voice. And then suddenly, she appeared, as a Japanese school girl, complete with sailor suit.
"Gahhhh" Joey muttered, his jaw dropping. Inu-yasha started sweating, Kaiba just stood there.
"I've never been this close to a girl before," Inu-yasha said, sniffing around. "It makes me wanna… do something."
"Paws off dog boy," Kagome said. "Hey Kaiba, what's wrong, has it been that long?" she said, witting him with a feather and knocking him over. "Yep, been that long."
"So how's this work?" Joey asked. "Can we actually feel, touch, taste and hear anything here?"
"I can smell pretty good," Inu-yasha said, grabbing a hand full of Kagome's hair and sniffing deep.
"Cut it out!" she yelled, yanking it away. "Ahem, yes you can."
"That's all I need to hear," Inu-yasha said, grabbing her picking her up, and running off with her.
"Hey, what do I do?" Joey yelled.
"Just think what you want and it'll happen!" Kagome yelled back.
"This gets better and better," Inu-yasha howled to the sky.
"Think what I want, eh?" Joey said. "Later, Kaiba." A sports car appeared, with Lt. Sango sitting in the front seat.
"How'd I get here?" she asked, looking around.
"I dreamed ya, and ya came to life," Joey said. "Now let's head for the Big Apple!" and he hit gas, as New York City appeared at the bottom of the hill.
Meanwhile, Kaiba had gotten up, dusted himself off, and thought really hard. Suddenly, a beautiful IRS Tax woman appeared.
"Are you Seto Kaiba?" said the agent.
"Yes."
"We have this refund for you: 100 million dollars."
Kaiba took the check and smiled wide, saying, "Excellent." Then took her hand, "Are you doing anything tonight?"
She shook out her hair and took off her sunglasses, and said, "Name's Mai, hun."
"Most excellent," Kaiba said as limo drove up and headed for the city.
Transition
Joey was swimming in the Hudson river, now filled with donuts, while Sango lounged in a bikini on the shore side.
"This is the life," Joey said, "A gorgeous woman, a river of donuts, I may never leave."
"You got that right," said a voice from the shore. Joey looked up, and saw Inu-yasha and Kagome waving down from a ferris wheel, the city of Tokyo was the back drop.
"Wait, How can you be in Tokoy when New York's right there?" Joey asked. Suddenly, red lights were blinking everywhere as he climbed out of the donut river.
"Uh oh," Kagome said, "Too mush inconsistence data in the system's causing an overload."
"Get me out of here!" screamed Kaiba as he ran up to them and fell at Joey's feet. His clothes were disheveled, he had stubble on his face, and his hair was a shaggy mess. "It was all going so well. I had the hot girl, the money, the limo, then this happened to me!"
"SETO!" screamed a shrill voice.
"No!" he yelled. They all looked and Mai came was waddling up, eight months pregnant and holding a rope to which five children were tied.
"Oh boy," Joey said, as Sango stood beside him and held his arm.
"I'm going to have shut this down," Kagome said.
"But what about us?" Inu-yasha said. "You were my first!"
Just then, an IRS agent came driving up. "I'm looking for a Joseph Wheeler. After 3 million years of not paying taxes, he owes the government 10 quadrillion dollars. How are you going to pay?"
Joey grabbed Kagome and shook her crying, "Turn it off! Turn it off!"
"Oh, I'm sorry, but that's the wrong answer," said the agent.
Transition
Joey, Kaiba, Kagome, and Inu-yasha were burried up to their necks in the sand, with jelly smeared over their faces, and crabs coming up the beach.
"This is my worst fear," Kaiba said. "I'm broke, and we're all going to die!"
"We won't die," Kagome said, "I'll have us out before the crabs get here… I hope."
