Your Hero

Tifa,

I wish I were able to start this with something similar to "Dear Tifa" or "Beloved Tifa", or perhaps "Dearly beloved Tifa" just to be extra nice. For is that not what one would expect a true hero to say to his princess?

However, I am afraid you'll have to forgive my lack of romantic speeches and creativity. After all, princes can't always be perfect. Even the whitest horse will bear a black mark, no matter its size or visibility and even the strongest of armor will have a breaking point.

Did you know that, Princess?

For as long as I can remember, I have strived to be a hero, your hero, your prince in shining armor. And I can't remember a day in my life when I had been as surprised, pleasantly of course, as the day when you gave me that opportunity by the well. A chance to rise and shine in your eyes, to be worth something. I suppose I've always been an attention-seeker. Who knows? Had I not joined the army, maybe I would have ended up slicing my wrists for other's amusement and a few crumbs of attention. Certainly for your attention. But I had greater things in mind. I would prove my feelings for you and worth to you by becoming a legend.

I tried and for a while I thought I succeeded. When we met again in Midgar, it was me, your hero. Yes, hiding behind a stolen uniform and identity, but the hero was still there. After all, I carried a sword twice my size and wore a uniform that signified my position as one of the legendary ones, one of Them. The ones you liked Princess, the heroes. So I tried my best to live up to my title and your dreams. The prince would never disappoint the princess.

And then she came, the beautiful flower girl with the emerald green eyes, and she was the second princess. I felt warmth while in her presence and an ease that I rarely felt with anyone else, in fact, noone else. Perhaps it was the way she talked and teased, or the way she was thoughtful and considerate at times while being clumsy and tactless at others. She spoke her mind, though kept enough inside to make one wonder if she was as light and innocent as she seemed. Or maybe the fact that she seemed attainable, the fact that she seemed so close, so warm, so human. Then again, maybe it was simply her green eyes.

You, on the other hand were always the distant star that I would never be able to reach. You, with the long brown locks and the mahogany eyes that mirrored the night sky, if one looked that is. The one that never teased, the one that was never clumsy, the one that was realistic and did not bother with ideals. The one that gave support in silence and loved in silence. In many ways you were the Queen, forever high above the rest, while she was the Princess. You had beautiful reddish/brown eyes, not haunting green ones.

You were something completely other-wordly, bearing resemblance to none and most importantly, you did not have green eyes. A green-eyed Tifa would have been my undoing.

Unattainable green eyes. Oh, just imagine, Tifa. The horror of having to relive the memory. Beautiful, distant, silent, unattainable, green eyes as opposed to warm, human, twinkling, green eyes. Can you not see why I felt at ease near her?

You were Tifa, the one and only. She was the flower girl with the striking green eyes. Only hers did not glow and I could look into them without fear and I could pretend, I could dream. Princes can dream as well, right? Or is that privilege only given to beautiful princesses in ivory towers?

When those eyes closed, however, my dream world came crushing down. I could no longer pretend Tifa, I could no longer hide. She left and I was left alone in a world where only you and Him existed.

Did I ever tell you about Him, Tifa?

I can't explain exactly when it started nor do I know how I knew, but I know that at some point down my lonely and miserable existence it hit me at full speed. The impact was, of course, great. I would dream at night, dreams of pride, power and glory. I would wake up with a half-formed smile on my lips and some spark inside of me telling me that this was to be my greatest test. And I tried, I trained, but unfortunately I was not built to be a Soldier. Not like Him. My light paled in comparison to His blazing inferno and His penetrating rays. I was sure that in the presence of such light, I would be completely enveloped and would disappear. It was true of course. Now I know, but the naive boy still hoped.

He succeeded where I failed. He rose where I fell, He shone where I was nothing but a dot covered in dirt. I remembered our promise Tifa, our promise by the well. I remembered the light in your eyes when I mentioned His name, fueling my desire even further. And I waited, I dreamt and hoped. But the truth is obvious now, isn't it? It should have been obvious back then as well, but I was but a naive fool who dared to dream the wrong dream, the unreachable.

How could I ever hope to achieve the magnitude of His power? The grace with which He walked, the way His footsteps where almost never heard, unless He was angry, then they would echo in the corridors with a thudding sound that rivaled that of my own heart. How could I ever dream of standing beside such a creature, one that fought wars but somehow managed to remain clean, without a single fleck of dirt to taint His beauty and soul? He was perfection incarnate, the life among the worthless, the dead.

I was dirty, I was lowly, I was worthless, I was non-existent when compared to this creature.

I found myself sneaking in at night to watch Him train, to watch Him move, to just watch Him. And in the dark I longed to be within touching distance, even within talking distance would have been enough. I longed to be able to freely watch Him, to watch Him carry the blade that was the same size as Him in such a way that made the routine training look like the most graceful of dances. And each time I would feel my mouth dry until it was devoid of any liquids, until I couldn't breath, until I felt as though my chest was going to collapse unto itself. And in the black nights I would tell myself that one day, somehow, we would talk. I would be able to look at Him, I would be able to look at Him and his green eyes would not be frozen and hard, but luminous and ...liquid-like. Like the Lifestream, Tifa. And the different hues of green would play and shift depending on which angle you looked at them from. That was perfection, that was the swirl of power and pride, the color of life. All contained in a precious jewel that, to me, was priceless.

But every time I think of them, I cannot help but remember the cruel and maniacal look of them in the mountains, Nibelheim. I cannot help but remain frozen to the spot, just like the first time that gaze was fully upon me, only me. And somewhere, in the back of my mind, perhaps the darker part of me, was glad, was happy. For once Tifa, I was able to get those green eyes to look at me, only me, no one else. And how breathtaking the sight was, I could not explain it in ages if I tried. I can only compare it to the cool and refreshing color of the Lifestream and the blazing inferno of Meteor. That's how they looked at that moment, two opposing forces joined into one.

And the fire continued to scorch around me as he disappeared in the flames.

However, I had a job to do, my duty as your protector. I had to be your hero, everyone's hero. I had to because the princess needed saving. So I did, I stood up and faced my greatest fear for you, for everyone. I destroyed the only thing of beauty that was left in my world.

For you.

For everyone.

To this day, I cannot fully recall what happened in the moments after that. I don't think I knew my surroundings any more. I knew nothing but the ache that refused to flee, nothing but the burning sensation in my muscles, nothing but the tears that spilled from my eyes like a river that was overflown, the riverbed no longer able to contain it. I felt nothing but the choking lump that occupied my throat, that made my breathing harder, made my tears burn.

Perhaps the fact that I could barely remember my past was better for me, don't you think? I was able to resume my role as the hero, as the protector and leave all I had done behind me. I was able to draw my blade and obliterate all who threatened those I cared for.

I took sword in hand, Tifa, and ran it through Him again and again and again until I didn't know whether it was His flesh I was slashing or my own. It made no difference.

The angel had fallen and I was left to gather the scattered feathers.

Have you ever seen angels fall? They scream, Tifa. They cry out and call to the heavens. They bleed, they bleed rivers, Tifa. They cry.

Did this one scream? Or was it just me? Did this one cry, or were those my tears blurring the world? Did this one call out or was that my anger? Did this one bleed, Tifa? Or was it my heart that gave up and burst to bathe the world in blood?

It makes no difference.

This is your hero, this is me. A weak and defeated soul that did not have enough strength to hold on to the one thing he always wanted. The only thing he ever wanted. This is your knight in shining armor, a knight with no name, no honor. This is your prince, the one without a heart to offer to you.

Forgive me. Please, forgive me.

That was taken from me as well, Tifa. That now lies under the rocks along with the scattered feathers of my One Winged Angel.

Forgive me.

"Cloud?" You stand in front of me, a white rag in hand. Back from work I imagine.

"When did you get back?" A question again.

I don't bother to answer your question as I put the loose pages in an envelope neatly labeled 'Tifa.' I'm going to explain, Tifa. Tonight you will be the only person in this world to ever know Cloud Strife. Cloud the weakling, Cloud the loner, Cloud the failure, the hero. Your hero. This is for you, just for you. Are you happy, Tifa?

I turn and hand you the envelope. You look at it puzzled.

I cannot keep myself from leaning down to lay a kiss on your smooth and cool from the night cheek This is my goodbye, Princess.

"Goodbye"

A/N: I thought I'd try my hand at another Sephiroth/Cloud fic. From Cloud's POV once again. Was he too OOC? I'm sorry if he was ;;

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