Authors': Again, we own nothing! Absolutely nothing.

Chapter Six: Has Anyone Seen My Sanity?

Transmission: This is Yugi, The Artificial intelligence of the space ship Kitsune. I have taken over control from the former Master Computer, Kagome, since she has recently acquired an animatronic body. She and the rest of the crew, Joey Wheeler the last human alive, Seto Kaba a hologram of his dead bunk mate, Inu-yasha a creature evolved from the ships' dog, and Miroku a lecherous android who's sole purpose is to serve humans, are on a quest to find New Earth, where hopefully there are other human beings… And so Joey can finally get a date.

Addition: Supplies are plentiful. We have enough food and drink to last 30 thousand years.

Additional Addition: Since everything in here smells like wet dog, we have run out of carpet shampoo.

Transition

"Hey, what's the matter, Death Day boy?" Joey asked Kaiba as he put on a black party hat.

"Don't remind me," Kaiba said.

"Oh come on," Joey said, "You only die once. Now we can celebrate a whole lifetime of memories in one day."

"This is all an excuse to get out of buying me a Birthday present."

"Yeah pretty much," Joey admitted.

"It's alright, either with Death or Birthday, it doesn't matter. I never get anything nice anyway," Kaiba said.

"What are you talking about?" Joey said. "You got that nice white noise machine."

"All it can play is frogs croaking." Kaiba said.

"And you croaked," Joey said, "That's the point."

"I want something I like," Kaiba said. "Something that matters. Something that says you appreciate me."

"Fine, how about we go down to the ship's commissary store and pick ya out something nice?"

"I've been down there a hundred times since I was activated," Kaiba said, "They don't have anything new. They'll never have anything new, and do you know why? Because the human race is extinct, and I don't want 'I died and all I got was this lousy t-shirt' hanging in my closet!"

"I guess you won't want this present, then," Inu-yasha said, putting the box behind his back.

"Cheer up," Kagome said. "Even like this I don't like it when people are unhappy."

"Does this mean I have to throw out another cake?" Miroku asked.

"Hey guys," Yugi said, popping on the screen. "I've found a derelict space ship outside."

"Any life forms?" Kagome asked.

"Nope, sorry," Yugi said.

"What else is new," Kaiba said, "Whenever we find a derelict space ship, it's got dead people on it. If I don't start seeing some live faces besides these two idiots, I'll lose my sanity!" Kaiba yelled, pulling at his hair.

"Whoa, easy there Mr. Anti-party." Kagome said. "Well, guess it's time to go exploring."

"Yes, there might be some supplies over there we can salvage," Miroku said, taking off the chef's hat.

"You coming, Kaiba?" Joey asked.

"Might as well. What's the good of being a hologram when you stay in breathable air space."

"Right, then it's decided," Inu-yasha said. "Since Kagome and Kaiba are both artificial life forms, they will go with Miroku."

"You coward," Joey said.

"I'm not," Inu-yasha said defensively, "I just hate wearing that stupid space suit. I feel like a microwave burrito every time I put it on."

Transition

They boarded the ship and traveled down the dark corridors.

"What were these rooms?" Miroku asked.

"I think this was some kind of hospital ship," Kagome said. "We'll know more when I interface with the ship's computer."

"This place is creepy," Joey said. Just then, a skeleton fell out of a open door and fell on Joey's back. He cried and started running, waving his arms, "GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!"

"Shut up you buffoon," Kaiba said as he knocked the skeleton apart with one arm. As he did, dust like particles came flying off the skeleton and into Kaiba's face. He coughed and said, "Lovely. Not only is he dead, he's dusty too."

"You'll both have to go through decon when we get back," Kagome said.

"My spectrometers are reading these dust like spores all over the ship," Miroku said. "It's times like this I'm glad I'm a robot."

"I'll be in the bridge," Kagome said.

"Hey look at that," Joey said, pointing to the floor. "Is that a sock puppet?"

"It looks like a chicken," Kaiba said, picking it up. "This might be a clue as to what happened here. I'd better put it on one of these space bags."

"You think they were pecked to death by chicken puppets?" Joey asked.

"No you imbecile. I'm going back to the ship. I've had enough of you."

As soon as Kaiba had returned to Red Kitsune, Kagome came running form the bridge and yelled, "We have to get out of here!"

"What?" Joey asked.

"Why?" Miroku asked.

"Because they all went mad!" Kagome said.

"What are you talking about?" Joey asked.

"This was an asylum ship. The people on here got sick, then they went crazy and killed themselves." she said ominously.

"EEHHH!" Joey cried, "Let's get out of here!"

"Wait, I found the doctor's lab," Miroku said. They went in, and found a note on the table where a skeleton in a lab coat was slumped. Miroku, avoiding the bones, picked up the letter, and read it. "To Whom It May Concern; I, Remises Niblick the Third Ker-plunk Ker-plunk Where's My Gerbil? do hereby bequeath my collection of viruses and various papers on diseases to whomever finds my skeletal remains. Being as I'm dead, I won't be needing them anymore. All hail Remises Niblick the Third Ker-plunk Ker-plunk Where's My Gerbil?"

"What should we do with all these parasites?" Joey asked.

"Who cares?" Kagome said, "Let's get back and go to the ship and go through decon!"

"I'll take these," Miroku said, gathering up the viles and bottles of specimens. "I want to study these in the lab. Who knows, there may be potential cures for thousands of diseases here. Besides, you and I can't get sick. We're artificial life forms. And Joey's protected by the space suit."

"Okay, let's just go! This place is still really creepy," Kagome said, pushing them out.

Transition

When they got back, they found Inu-yasha knocked unconscious on the decon room floor. And from the inner depth of the ship came a maniacal fit of laughter, and fury of clucking?

"What's that?" Kagome asked.

"Kaiba," Miroku said. "He's gone mad."

"How do you know?" Joey asked.

"Because it says here on one of these papers that one of the viruses made was a computer virus for holograms that was created to study space mania without risking human lives."

"Perfect," Joey said, "I'm guessing the guy who fell on me had it?"

"More than likely." Miroku said. Suddenly, the doors to decon locked on them, and standing outside the huge window was Kaiba, dressed as Strawberry Short Cake, and the Chicken puppet on his left hand.

"Kaiba, let us out of here!" Joey said, disregarding the chicken and the dress.

"Buck-ah!" went the chicken, and it's eyes glowed red.

"Not till you've gone through decon for the standard 30 minutes." Kaiba said.

"Humans can't last that long in deep sterilization," Miroku said. "Inu-yasha and Joey will die."

"My hands are tied by space core regulations," Kaiba said. "Of course I could bend the rules this one time."

"Then do it!" Joey said.

"I'd have to go to the King of the Mushroom People for permission." Kaiba said.

"Kaiba, you've gone crazy," Miroku said.

"You have Space Madness," Kagome added.

"I still have to ask the King of the Mushroom People for permission," Kaiba repeated.

"Then ask em!" Joey pleaded.

"Let me get this straight, you want me to go to the King of the Mushroom People and ask him to let you out of decon, and you say I'm the one who's crazy?" Kaiba asked.

"Buck- buckah!" went the chicken puppet.

"Yes, I agree. They're totally insane. We'll have to dispose of them." Kaiba said. They all cringed in fear as Kaiba disappeared and left them alone to die in the room with no way to escape.

"What do we do, what do we do?" Joey cried.

"First we must awaken Inu-yasha and then we'll just have to figure out some way to break out of decon." Miroku said. "Here we go, this should wake him up. Ramen noodles are ready." Inu-yasha sat up and started panting and acting like a dog who hadn't eaten in several hours. He sniffed around then looked up at everyone.

"Hey, there's no Ramen in here, and where did Kaiba go?" He asked. "That jerk snuck up behind me and knocked me out."

" He's gone crazy, we have to find a way out of here before he kills you and Joey.." Kagome told her lover. "Oh, if only there were some way to unlock that control pad over there on the wall, but it takes an officer's key and none of us have one."

"Why don't we just break it open?" Joey asked. "There's only a thin metal panel over it."

"That's right and Inu-yasha, being a Dog-man, possess super human strength." Kagome realized. "Brilliant. Go get it honey." She gave Inu-yasha a big kiss on the lips for luck then he walked over to the panel and ripped it off the wall."

"Now all we need is the override code." Joey said "What's the code Kagome?" He asked.

"Oh no." She sighed. "I don't know the code." She told them all.

"What!" They each exclaimed.

"The only ones who knew the code were officers and high ranking technicians like Kaiba." Kagome said.

"And knowing him, he's already changed the code." Miroku noted. "We're doomed."

"No, we're not!" Joey declared. "We're going to make it, and that's an order from your new Captain." Joey stated. "I let one crew die on me, I won't let another. We're going to break out of here and save Kaiba. Now put your heads together guys, let's think of something."

"Yugi!" They all suddenly realized he was still online and auto piloting the ship. "Yugi!" they all called out and on the monitor behind them, he appeared.

"What's up guys?" He asked.

"No time to explain, pal, we need out of the decon room now." Joey said.

"I'm afraid that I can't do that." Yugi said. "Kaiba says that you've all gone crazy. I'm sorry but I've got to obey his orders as he is the high ranking crewmember."

"Yugi, don't you get it, he's the one who went nuts." Joey said. "Haven't you noticed that he's dressed like a girl's play doll, and he's wearing a chicken on his left hand?"

"I thought that was a little strange." Yugi said. "But what should I do? I can't disobey him, I'd be drummed out of the space corp. for ever."

"Trust me pal, no one will ever know what happened. When we fill out the report then we'll just say that Kagome plugged into the system and overrid your commands." Just then Joey realized, why didn't they just do that in the first place. "Kagome, shoot me, shoot me now." He smacked his head then grabbed her hand and plugged her finger into the socket on the wall. Kagome uploaded her program again and then opened all the doors to the decon room.

"Okay, we're gone." Kagome said. "Sorry Yugi, but now I'm going to have to take command of the ship's computer systems again. Just until we get the ship and Kaiba back under control. Now let me see, where is he?" She asked the ship's sensors. She looked all over the ship for Kaiba but couldn't find him on any of the scopes or screens. "Oh no, that can only mean one thing." Kagome said turning her attention to the engine rooms. "He's in the engine room, and he's setting the ship for auto destruct!"

"To the elevator pods!" Joey said, lifting a fist. He went running down the left of the corridor.

"Wrong way Joey," Kagome said over the speaker. Then Joey came running back and on down the right of the corridor.

"We're going to die," Inu-yash said.

Transition

"Buck- buckah!" said the red eyed chicken puppet.

"Yes, my precious, soon," Kaiba said, stroking the puppet, "Soon the ship will be destroyed. But not us, we'll escape on the escape pods."

"Buck buck-buckah!"

"What do you mean it was your idea!" Kaiba yelled at it.

"Buckah! Buckah!"

"Fine, then you can stay here!" Kaiba said taking the puppet off and throwing it down on the floor. As he started striding to the the escape pod, Joey came running out of the elevator, screaming at the top of his lungs in a barbaric cry, wielding a long piece of pipe.

"KAIBA!" Joey howled as he made a swing, and knocked the hologram out. Kaiba fizzed in and out for several seconds, then, he totally disappeared.

"I did it!" Joey cheered.

"No, we did," Kagome said over the speakers. "We just turned off the holo-computer.

"So… I'm not the hero?" Joey asked, disappointed.

"You still can be if you turn of the self-destruct." she said. Joey looked and saw that the panel was busted.

"He smashed the controls!" Joey exclaimed, "I can't turn it off!"

"Well, there's a few options," Kagome said.

"What?" Miroku asked.

"Well, we can stand around and get blown up," she said, "we can sit down and get blown up, we can jump up and down and get blown up, then there's one more option."

"What? Stand on our heads and get blown up?" Inu-yasha asked.

"There's two more options," Kagome said. Just then Yugi came on again.

"Hey guys," he said, "What's wrong now?"

"We're all going to die," Inu-yasha told him, "Wanna jump up and down with us?"

"What are you all talking about?" Yugi asked, "There's no self destruct on this ship."

They all went still as stone, there eyes turning into little black dots.

"What?" Joey muttered.

"I got rid of that thing weeks ago," Yugi said.

"Then what the heck did Kaiba push!" Joey yelled.

Suddenly, from on of the food dispensers, there came aloud Ding! "Your milk shake is ready." said the computer.

"Thanks, I needed that," Joey said, taking the shake.

Transition

Kaiba awoke in the decon room dressed in his usual technician uniform, a huge knot on his holographic head. "Oh, what hit he?" he groaned.

"You okay, Kaiba?" asked Joey's voice from the darkness outside the window.

"What happened?" Kaiba asked.

"You went a little crazy," Kagome said. "But it's all okay now." Suddenly, the lights came on, and they were all sitting there dressed as Strawberry Shortcake, with red glowing-eyed chicken puppets on their left hands.

"Buck-buckah!" went Kagome's chicken puppet.

"Buck-buckah!" went Joey's chicken puppet.

"Buck-buckah!" went Miroku's chicken puppet.

"Meow!" went Inu-yasha's chicken puppet.

Kaiba's eyes widened, and then he let out a blood curdling, high pitched girly scream!