Disclaimer - Nope. Still don't own a thing. And... yeah. I don't like this bit as much. I may change it around at a later date. Oh well. And again - the more reviews I get, the greater liklihood that I will put off other projects, including homework and other stories, to continue this. Profound thanks to those who reviewed. Without you this chapter wouldn't exist.

There's a great deal of confusion regarding the Farplane. People talk about visiting the Sent in Guadosalam. This is not strictly true. The Farplane is more a state of mind, than an actual place. In Guadosalam, people get to see the image the Sent mind has constructed of pyreflies, imbued with the mind as it is. It is confusing – but over simplified is roughly: when you're sent, you're body breaks down into dead cells and molecules, and the spirit or mind, is released, for lack of a better term. It's a different stage of life, a body of tissue replaced by pyreflies – human essence. Children become adults. Adults become the Sent. Those who aren't sent generally suffer mental and physical decay, from jealousy of the living. Idle hands are the Devil's work, to a certain extent. Except everyone else is a devil – you are your only god.

But all philosophical crap aside – being Sent doesn't change you much. Jecht is still the bastard he was when he was a guardian; same can be said of Braska. Me? There's a difference between being Sent versus Unsent. I'm really not that nasty of a person, but there's always a part of you, when you're Unsent, that gnaws at your heart. That's a bad comparison. Jecht will be an ass if he ever reads this. I'm not a writer. But you can feel something corroding your knowledge of self. There's much less energy for being a happy people type of person. It all comes down to the bare bones of existence – completing your duty and remembering who you really are. It's easy to lose yourself in the heat of battle, and then you lose yourself completely. Memories can be lost, as can emotion, you become more like a fiend every time you kill something. Because fiends are, in their own way, alive too. They had to suffer just as much as I did – only they weren't strong enough. Or maybe they were stronger than I, and just fell for other reasons. It's irrelevant.

Life as a Sent is pretty mundane. You carry on life as you always have. There's no world to be saved, no fiends. It's dull, but it allows for a great deal of thinking. It's a fairly new concept for me. I can hear Jecht laughing about this already, and the man's not even looking over my shoulder. Not to imply that I don't think – I do. But there is a significant amount of difference between planning for the future in order to save the world, and just sitting back over a small glass of sake and reflecting. I spend a lot of time doing that now. Not even really drinking, Farplane edibles are lackluster in comparison to what you can experience in Spira. Same recipe – lower quality ingredients. See what thinking has turned the Legendary Guardian into? A philosopher. But maybe that's not such a bad thing. There was never the time to sit and think when I was alive – and after I died, there was even less time.

Not that I regret anything I did before I came here. I lived an honorable life, honored my promises, and so on.

….

But life here is… unfulfilling, to I suppose. It's all habit. Nothing really changes. You don't need to sleep, but almost everyone does anyways. Eating is unnecessary, but people do that as well. And the muscles aren't going to go soft, because they're not tissues anymore, but people still spar to keep in shape. It is sort of ridiculous, now that I reflect upon it. Don't get me wrong, it beats struggling to remain sane, to hang on to whatever bits of life you have left, but if I had a chance to go back and live on Spira as a person, would I take the chance? Absolutely. Eternal Calm or not, there are things that human essence and pyreflies and memories can't replace. Namely: good sake, good food, and good company.

And when I say company, I am not referring to the green eyed Al Bhed thief everyone thinks I am. She failed to leave a lasting impression on me, while we traveled together as Guardians, and there is little I do remember about her. So don't believe for a moment that I care about her. She has nothing to do with my desire to go back to Spira. Nothing.