Author's Note: Here's chapter three. Written completely by me.
Adrenaline Adoration
Chapter 3- Painful Partings
Kenshin kept his gaze glued upon Kiyo, his hand set precariously upon the doorway of Kaoru's room. Kaoru kept her head bowed down, feeling the heat of Kenshin's tension in the air. She'd never felt a change in the air like this before unless Kenshin had been in the heat of battle. So why was he like this now? It was all too confusing to her, and in the puddle of thoughts and tears she had encompassed in her mind now, it only brought forth more pain. Her heart was beating with a infamous rythmn that she hoped to share with no one but the man that was the only obstacle between her and her fate outside the doorway.
Crystalline stars threatened to fall from the oceans within her eyes.
This was all so much, too fast, and her heart and mind couldn't bear it any longer. There would be no need for words between her and Kenshin anymore--- no matter how many times she tried to open her mouth and mutter something that would make sense, a sob would catch in her throat and she'd be forced to close her mouth in permanent silence once more. The reality of the thick fog of tension was bearing a weight upon her shoulders that she couldn't withstand, and she didn't wish to bear alone.
But this was how it had to be. This was her father's dying wish. This was the last thing her mother had spoken to her father about. They wanted her to be safe; they wanted her to be happy and married. If it meant to honor her family, then Kaoru was determined to do it. Kenshin would fight her from it, she knew. He could see into the depths of her soul and unravel even the most hidden sorrows in her heart. But she couldn't depend on Kenshin's comforts anymore. There was a man outside, she knew, waiting to take her hand in marriage.
This was how things had to be. She smiled despite the situation. This was all so ironic to her. She, Kaoru, the assistant master of the Kamiya Kasshin Ryu, the girl who fought off a fake Battousai, surived Jineh's Shino-no-Ippou, the girl who defeated Kamatari the Large Scythe, who rescued Kenshin from the unforigiving blade of Enishi Yukishiro, was backing down without a fight. The girl who took in a pickpocket, street fighter-for-hire, an opuim maker, and an ex-hitokiri, was allowing her life to be torn to shreds without a second thought. The girl who everyone shied away from because of her talent in kendo, because of her stubborn nature, was yeilding to a man she didn't even know. The daughter of a man who had created his own sword style, had been part of the sword bearing police, had survived the death of his wife, was not trying to upkeep the ideals and strengths taught to her. For the first time in her life, despite all the unexpected twists and turns in the intricate tapestry of her life, Kaoru was throwing herself to the wolves.
She had never felt so vulnerable or frightened in her life.
Taking her trembling hand and placing it upon Kenshin's arm, she called his attention to her without speaking a word. His attention averted away from the man that was going to steal away the rope that tied the disfunctional family of friends together so he could take in her expression. Kenshin had never seen Kaoru so broken in his life; the way her eyes looked so dull and the silent smile upon her lips.
Had she not had her hair high on her head or been wearing such a brightly shaded kimono, he could have sworn she was the image of Tomoe. The same sad expression and eyes of a woman torn from the fires of her life, from her one chance at happiness, the same delicate features that held in so many regrets, secrets, and the broken spirit that could never be mended by the hands of an angel. She didn't speak as she pushed his arm down, and she walked with a grace he had never noticed in her, the same kind of dainty steps that brought a broken woman into her fate.
"Hello, may I ask who you are?"
'And the same fragile, soft voice and words…'
Kenshin's eyes flew from Kaoru to the man that would be her demise. She had been too gentle when she'd touched his arm; it haunted him. Kaoru wasn't supposed to be like this; this was the exact opposite of what Kaoru was. The livilness, vivacity, and tenacitiy were lost in her. She had succombed to her destiny and was prepared to go through with the decision that had been forced upon her. If he could, Kenshin wished so vainly to go back in time and destroy the creation of such a will.
It was destorying two lives, not just one.
The man smiled warmly upon Kaoru. "My name is Kiyo Nishawagi, and I do believe I am here as arranged by a will, to take the young Kaoru Kamiya's hand in marriage. Would you be she?"
His voice caused Kenshin's hair to stand on end. When they had met up in the market, Kiyo hadn't been that official or that polite. He hadn't been so refined. He had been somewhat, but not the point he was being toward Kaoru. Kaoru placed her hands before her and linked them agaisnt her legs, her head held low so she was facing the dirt of the dojo yard.
"I am she."
Sanosuke took his eyes away from Kaoru and toward Kenshin. The frustration and helplessness was etched within the contours of Kenshin's face, and Sano couldn't help but feel pity for his friend. As much as seeing Kaoru, his little sister, like she was now, angered and pained him, he couldn't image what it was doing to the man who loved her with the ferocity that Kenshin did. Each step that Kiyo took closer to the Kaoru, the softer and more desolate Kenshin's gaze became, before he finally turned and walked away, unable to stare upon the loss before him any longer.
Kaoru could never be his. He had reminded himself of such day after day, night after night, moment after moment. She wasn't meant for him. She never was.
But the reality… the reality of actually losing her… it was so much worse than he had thought it'd be…
Kiyo took her hand and kissed her knuckles gently, keeping his charming smile up and soft cobalt eyes upon her face. "You are much more goregous than I had expected, Kaoru-koishii."
Kaoru squirmed inside at the proximity of his closeness, but on the outside she kept her smile dilluted smile up. "I wish I could say the same of you, but I only just now found out that I even had an arranged marriage."
"Understandable. Gensai-sensei called upon me as soon as he remembered." Kiyo responded. "Shall we adjorn inside?"
Kaoru nodded. "Yes."
Kiyo took a hold of Kaoru's hand, squeezing it softly before he let her lead him inside of the dojo. Yahiko turned to Sanosuke, who in turn averted his gaze to Dr. Gensai. Dr. Gensai looked bewildered upon the now empty path that Kiyo and Kaoru had taken toward the dojo.
"You do know what you just did, don't you?" Sano asked him, his voice low and nearly carnivorous. "Kenshin and Jou-chan were so close… so close…"
Yahiko looked dejectedly toward the room Kaoru now sat within next to Kiyo, her delicately fake smile still up. "When did she get so… refined and delicate? That's not the usual busu… wow, she must really be upset…"
"I… Kiyo was only back up. I was positive she'd say she wanted to be with Kenshin. Had she, I was going to tell Kiyo to turn around and leave. But… Kaoru-chan said she had no one." Dr. Gensai stated. "This…"
"I don't like him." Sano huffed, taking up residence agiasnt the dojo wall. "He gives me the creeps and I don't trust him, especially with Jou-chan."
Yahiko nodded his silent agreement. "Hey, where did Kenshin get off to?"
Sano shook his head at Yahiko. "Where do you think? Kenshin couldn't stand to see Kaoru ripped from him so easily. He left. I can't blame the poor guy. If I were him, I'd have decked Kiyo in the face by now. But that's not Kenshin's nature. He's a passifist. Sometimes I wish I could deck him."
"Do you think things will still work out? That Kenshin will still…" Yahiko questioned, trying to keep his voice low so that the couple inside couldn't hear the conversation.
"I think he wants to so badly, but he can't bring himself too." Sano stated, postioning his fishbone within his mouth so it was in an angry pout along with his mouth.
"Sanosuke?"
"Yeah?"
"I don't think I'm hungry anymore."
"Me neither, Yahiko, me neither."
It had long since grown dark, and Kenshin hadn't moved. There was no reason for him too change his position, not when there was no longer a reason. He'd lost Kaoru. The realization of everything he'd be losing was catastrophic, and each new, small detail tore a new hole in his patchy heart. There would be no more kendo instructor wake up calls, no more 'Kenshin, will you make dinner' requests, no more nights sitting outside her door in a protective manner.
He couldn't protect her anymore. It was now Kiyo's responsibility. If any of Kenshin's enemies decided to turn up, it wouldn't be his job to be positive Kaoru was left out of the crossfire. It wouldn't be his job to weigh the dangers anymore. Everything was up to Kiyo now. Kenshin's heart fell. He had always prided himself on being able to protect Kaoru as well and long as he had. But now, that was over.
Kenshin ripped his gaze away from the puddle that was forming in the dirt before his feet. It had begun to rain as soon as he had sat beneath this sakura tree, overlooking the vastness of the river that flowed with the memories made beside it.
Where was he to go now? He'd never be able to stay at the dojo again. Kiyo wouldn't want him there; he would only sense him a threat toward his relationship with Kaoru. The place he had called home, where Kaoru had demanded he always come back to, was being ripped away from him. The roots he had set down, the comfort he had experienced, was all being sold away to a new man.
The droplets of rain had already penitrated through the leaves and blossoms of the tree, drenching Kenshin straight through to the bone. Thunder rumbled in the background, lightening flashing with the anger Kenshin refrained himself from expressing. Was he meant to have any comfort? Had there ever truly been a place meant specifically for him?
"Kenshin…" it was a shaky voice, one that bit through the chill of the darkened void. "Kenshin…"
He turned his head at the plea, looking solemnly around the trunk of the tree. His eyes fell upon Kaoru, standing in the middle of the thunderstorm. The kimono she wore was soaked through, her hands were held before her trying to retain the warmth. Her hair fell limp agaisnt her back, and her bangs stuck to her anguish filled face. The film over her eyes was no lie, and Kenshin's heart twisted again. She was crying, and she had come looking for him. Momentarily he wondered if he had worried her.
Kaoru burst out into a sob sudden and raced toward him, mud caking her drenched white tabi socks before she allowed herself to fall agaisnt Kenshin, her arms wrapping quickly around his body as she cried. The tears were warm agaisnt his neck, her sobs causing warm breaths to fall against his neck. After the initial shock had settled, Kenshin let his arms wrap around her body quickly, pulling her closer to him and off of the muddy grass and onto his lap. She gripped him tighter, her cries small murmurs of the truth that was tearing them both apart.
'It wasn't supposed to be like this…' Kaoru thought to herself.
Kenshin's own thoughts were muddled, but stayed prominent and true. 'This is my last time with Kaoru, I know. She'll never know what I feel, but…at least I can comfort her one last time, be her protector for the last night…'
The sudden sound of thunder alerted Kenshin to a more meaningful fact. Kaoru was frightened of storms to the point of tears, but that wasn't why she was out here. She would never come out in a storm, even to find him, and he realized this. She had braved this strom to get to him, and now that she had, she was crying her heart out to him. These tears were something she refused to share with anyone else, a weakness she wanted no one to bear witness to.
Except for him.
"Kaoru-dono, shh… tell me what's wrong…" Kenshin pursuaded with a calm voice, letting his hand run through her rain slick hair.
"It wasn't supposed to be like this…" she responded between her sobbing. "I don't want to do this… Kenshin, I have no choice… why? I don't want… to lose everything… I don't want to lose… to lose you… I know you want to leave… but…"
Kenshin bit his lip from responding at first. "If you don't want me to, then I'll remain as close as I can."
Kaoru sat up on his lap, enough just to see his slowly dissolving resolve in his lavender eyes. "I… Kenshin this is all so fast…"
Absently he reached up, his hand pulling under her eyes and wiping the tears away that were mixing with the pure water of the rain that landed upon her face. The clouds cried with her, crying the tears Kenshin refused to shed. His hand dropped from her face to her shoulder, rubbing warmth back into her slowly shaking body. Her eyes were full of an aguish Kenshin couldn't find a proper word to describe. She was grieving over something she'd lost, just as he was.
"I know. I… do you want this?" he questioned her cautiously, his other hand splaying across the small of her back in order to keep her from falling backward.
She shook her head. "I have to, Kenshin… it's father's last wish. If that's what he wanted…I have to honor him. I have no choice. I don't… I don't want to be with Kiyo… I … I don't love him…"
She burst out into another fit of painful sobs, placing her head agaisnt Kenshin's chest once more, her hand gripping the comfortable and worn cloth of his magenta gi. To keep her calm, Kenshin continued murmuring to her, his lips close to her ear and agaisnt her hair, secretly leaving small kisses of compassion agaisnt her jasmine scented raven trendrils.
"Kiyo doesn't want to stay at the dojo…" she began again. "He says we need to leave it behind. I don't want to sell it. Kenshin… promise me you'll stay at the dojo, live there. I… it is your home. I want you to stay there."
Anger surged up from Kenshin's gut through to his mind, ripping apart any possible things he found okay in Kiyo. The dojo was everything to Kaoru; it was one of the few things she had left from her family. All the hardships she had ridden through to keep the dojo within her ownership, and now, one man was tearing her away from it. Kiyo was tearing Kaoru away from what she loved.
Who knew what else he was going to tear away from her?
"Kaoru-dono…"
"Promise me Kenshin!" she cried. "Promise! You have to take care of Yahiko for me, and how can you if you don't have somewhere… if you don't have a home… Kenshin… please…"
Kenshin set his lips agaisnt the top of her head, this time not being so secretive of his kisses. "Yes. I'll do this for you."
Her grip tightened. "Thank you…"
Author's Note: Well, that's all you get this time. I've waited so long to post this little bit. I'm so sorry, but Lady Himura was having computer problems. I couldn't help the delay. Forgive us? REVIEW!
DarknessFlame: What's there to forgive?
SSJHimura: twitch : Fluff………. Tooo much…………. Don't review………..
Crystal Renee: HEY: bonks him on head : Be nice! Or…………. I'll give your sister permission to do very mean things to you…………..
LadyHimura: plots revenge :
Love and hugs---
Lady Himura and Crystal Renee
