A Disclaimer- I STILL OWN NUTHIN…I mean sure I DO own EVERYTHING but apparently I can't tell anyone about it!! So…ah… cough I give credit to Disney for creating such wonderful and sexy and hot and charming and suave and…sorry got off track, where was I, oh yes…exciting characters. I own Sam though and random characters but if you wanna use them for something…a nice something then you may, just give me credit for it!!
THE FACTS ARE BACK!!!
On average people fear spiders more than they do death.
I'm not that bad with spiders…I want a Tarantula or a bird eating spider…though they might scare the boys off!!
Reviewer, oh reviewers by the handful!!!
NoleiaNevenBrook – (for ASBAON) – Thanks!! I hope you're up to this story now!! Ahh remembering the good old days of ASBAON, good times.
I lOvE cHeRrIeS yUm – Here ya go!!
Hedwig518 – Howdy!! Yes I like using quotes, as you may have noticed and I couldn't help using it ;) Yes RANDOMNESS SHALL BE THE NEXT …err…BADGER QUEEN!!
German Gypsy – Howdy!! Glad you read my stories…that's always nice ;) thanks for reviewing!!
Piratechic – Howdy, don't worry I had the same phobia once, but you get over it, just do as I do, crazy reviews that make the author happy, they are always fun, Creep stalker guy IS REVEALED yes you heard it first…but not in this chapter!! Oh god do you know someone like that?? How scary you should send the badgers after him…hell I'll do it, I am their queen after all…MMWWAAAHAHAHAHA
Purplefluffychainsaw – Oh yeah don't you just love the cameos!! You get more too just wait!! Yes I saw Shrek 2, IT WAS GREAT, I loved the giant cookie man!! "BBBBEEEE GGGGOOOOOOOOODDDD" and the drankies!! AAAAWWWWW, anyway this is a short response due to the fact that I haven't updated in a while and I really should get to bed since "school" is tomorrow at 7:30 or at least I have to get up at that time and it's already 11.05pm…opps…anyway NAMARIE Mellon nin
Arsinoe Selene - Thanks, hows soup net thing going? BTW I found you on it!!
Amanda – OMG I am having the greatest images…mmmm elves in black leather :p''' YUM!!! Mmmm toasted sandwich… damn I'm creating an ocean over here!!
Zeldagrl436 – Good for you, I hope your update went well!!!...??? What the hell am I saying???
Dimonah Tralon - I told Jack you miss him and he misses you too, don't believe what he says because he doesn't like to share his feelings but I know he misses you!!
LegolasGreenleafGil – Estel – HOLY CARP…yes CARP because that's one hell of a review, and so little time to respond. Ok here goes, sorry if its really short but I've said heaps in emails and the letter anyway so here goes. CONGRATULATIONS, CONGRATULATIONS and etc because I can't quite remember why but CONGRATS ANYWAY!! Hit your brother again for me…is he hot…oh ignore that that was my hormones, evil little buggers they are, ANYWAY yay for the spreading of evilness!!! I LOVE OFUM it is sssssssoooooo GREAT!! And I'm working on the rest but I have also seen your site, the PPC site, and tis good, made me laugh!! So the descriptions were good then…good!! I'm queen of the nicknames…and badgers, I give everyone nicknames!! Sometimes they are spur of the moment…actually they usually are spur of the moment because I can't really control my mouth sometimes. The snog was done and it was funny because then I had to snog Jack because he felt that it wasn't fair and the Leggy needed another one for some reason and well somehow my afternoon was all gone…but in a good way!! I like Horatio too, he's a good boy…well actually he's quite naughty but that's usually in private circumstances. Do you guys get Roy and H.G over there? They are so funny, especially when they are commentating on the sports!! Anyway I gotta get to bed because "school" is tomorrow at 7:30 or at least I have to get up at that time and it's already 11.25pm…opps…anyway NAMARIE Mellon nin enjoy PARIS!!!
Previously on ANF – Cameos, horse riding, the tackle game, Jack and Horatio meet and is Jack OK with them being together??
Final Line of ANF – "I'm sure I would"
Random word for the day – Boonoff – Boo-n-off – to leave
Shh, I'm supposed to be studying but I've already done some so I though I'd sneak a chapter in here or there!! OK so how many other people thought the Olympic cauldron looked like a huge joint?? Just me then?? Hmm drug free games ey?? Oh yay Roy and H.G just confirmed it!!
Always and forever
"Are you ready yet?" Horatio hollered up the stairs.
"Don't YELL at me I'm not GOOD when PEOPLE yell AT me!!!" Sam replied.
Sam and Horatio were going shopping for Will and Elizabeth's presents. Shopping was one her favourite things to do as it gave her the chance to annoy even more people.
"Would you please hurry, the crowd demands it!!" Horatio yelled back.
"I have a crowd?" Sam asked as she made her way down the marble stairs.
"It took you that long to choose that?" Horatio asked eyeing her deep blue dress that had layers of large frills around the bottom. It was short at the front and long at the back and was sleeveless and low cut. Her mother's locket sat snugly upon her neck, the opal in the centre of it glistening red, blue and green.
"Fine" Sam said starting back up the stairs. Horatio ran up a few stairs to where she was standing.
"Wait, no I was joking!" he said grabbing her around the waist and holding her still so she wouldn't go any further up the stairs. Sam twisted her head around and pouted.
"Didn't sound like it? Don't you like me anymore? Am I hideous? Am I Fat? Are my lips too dry?" Sam said laying the guilt trip on Horatio.
"No, none of its true and your lips are perfect" He said kissing her lightly on the lips causing Sam to hum in approval. "Better?"
"No! What about my neck? Is it fat?" Sam said a grin playing on her lips.
"No" He said giving her neck a kiss.
"What about my collarbone? Does it stick out like a skeleton?" She said turning around in his arms and slipping her arms about his waist.
"Never" he murmured landing butterfly kisses along her collarbone.
"DO YOU REALLY HAVE TO DO THAT HERE??" Will yelled. Sam and Horatio looked down the stairs where Will and Jack we're standing, Will's face the picture of brotherly protection and Jack's unreadable.
"Well we could always go to my room?" Sam said as Horatio nodded grinning wildly at Will who groaned.
"Remember what they say about curiosity" Jack said to Will a little smile of his own as he plopped down on a nearby couch.
"The cat was lucky. Curiosity killed it. It didn't have to live with the mental image." Will groaned. "I thought you were going out?"
"We are…Geeze Will you sure are distrustful" Sam said as they walked down the stairs.
"I have good reason to be" He said eyeing Horatio.
"What!?" Horatio said looking shocked.
"You're right I should be looking at you" He said to a grinning Sam.
"Welcome to Cynical Island, population: you." She said pointing to Will who just narrowed his eyes at her and then noticed her dress.
"Why can't you dress normally?" He asked with a sigh.
"I wouldn't be caught dead in a full skirt, besides if ya got it, flaunt it. I didn't spend all those years riding and running for nothing" Sam said poking Will in the chest to make her point.
"If I remember correctly then I'm quite sure the reason you were running was because you were being chased…"
"Yeah by all the good looking men" Sam laughed.
"No! By the farmers; who caught you in the field with them, sneaking into their sheds, riding their horses without permission, stealing pies…" Will said starting to name everything Sam had done in her younger years. Jack and Horatio listened eagerly whereas Sam's eyes glazed over.
"Will…Will…WILL" Sam said trying to interrupt him "I think I would remember being the one who…accomplished so much in my short life"
"I wouldn't say accomplished" Will said with his hands on his hips.
"You're right…conquered is a much better word…oh look at the time!! Must be off…Too-rah!" she said dragging Horatio out of the house. Will followed her out with Jack watching from his position on the couch.
"There was a reason behind this conversation" He yelled after her.
"Yeah well, Cry me a river, build me a bridge and then do me a favour and jump off it" Sam's voice floated back as she and Horatio made their way towards the town. Will turned around and closed the door roughly, she really knew how to rub him the wrong way, and he needed to be in the best possible mood. The wedding was only a week away. Jack gave a hearty chuckle at the look on Will's face as he entered, Will looked at him sternly.
"Feet on the furniture" He said making his way to the drawing room
"Yes future Gov'nr, whatever ye say Future Gov'nr" Jack said demonstratively following him.
"Shut up Jack" Will snapped, not in the mood to be taunted by the pirate.
"What I'm just sayin…"
"Well don't alright? It's bad enough having one smartarse around here, I don't need two!" He said leaning his head against the window. It's cool disposition the opposite of Will's feelings at the moment.
"Fine" Jack said throwing his arms up in the air and heading back out the door.
"Jack, wait…" Will started spinning around to find Jack stopping mid-step and muttering about 'Wrong Turner'. "I'm sorry; you seem to be the only one around here that has a…calming affect on me" He said with a smile, Jack returned it with a toothy grin of his own.
"'Tis alright, mate. Ye let her get to ya; you need to play her game to be able to not be affected. Mind games and all" Jack said sitting down on a nearby chair as Will started to pace. "What's wrong?"
"There's been something I've wanted to ask of you Jack" Will started stopping mid-pace and looking at Jack before starting up again.
"Aye?" Jack replied giving Will a strange look. "What ye getting' at Turner?"
"Well, I was wondering…no…I would be very grateful if you, me being in your debt and all…"
"Mate, ye not in debt for anythin'" Jack said shaking his head.
"No I am…with out you, Elizabeth and I…Sam, things would be very different…worse"
"Just spit it out Turner!"
"Be my best man?" Will said turning and facing Jack, a questioning look adorned his features.
"Me? Best man? Hmmmm" Jack watched Will start to get edgy as he waited for him to make up his mind. A grin spread across his features, his gold teeth glittered in the morning sun.
"I'd luv to mate"
Sam and Horatio walked through the crowded street making their way into a nearby china shop.
"Tableware?" Sam said raising an eyebrow at the white/boring plates; Horatio also held the same expression as the clerk started to make his way over.
"Move out the door quickly" Horatio hissed as he forced a smile to the clerk who was coming closer.
"May I help you?" he asked flashing them a sly grin.
"No" Sam said as she and Horatio left the store.
"Could I perhaps interest you in…" he said trying to coax them back in the shop.
"No" Horatio said as they made their way to a nearby stall.
"Some people just can't take a hint" Sam said as she looked at some jewellery. She picked up some chandelier earrings made of silver and red stones that weren't quite rubies. "Do they suit me?" She asked Horatio.
"Yes but we are not here to buy you presents, wedding gifts, think wedding gifts" He said looking at some silk sheets.
"Ohh I see" Sam said raising an eyebrow at Horatio. He looked at her sideways and noticed her sly look.
"No, not those kind of gifts…besides I don't think you could find anything your thinking of in Port Royal anyway" Horatio said as they moved on to the next stall.
"You'd be surprised at what you could find if you know where to look" Sam said as she looked though some books, screwing her nose up at the dust that rose from a old book that she had opened. Horatio slipped his arms around her waist.
"What are you saying?" He said in her ear as they walked, oddly, to the next stall.
"I'm just saying I know how to get things, is all." She laughed as Horatio slipped his hand into hers and gave his a small squeeze. They continued their search for a few more hours; it took this long due to the fact that the first salesperson from the shop was still tracking them down. He approached them on a few occasions, trying to sell them second hand junk, and each time they said no. Sam and Horatio approached the food section of the little market that they were exploring, a great, wonderful and at the same time awful aroma swept over them. They looked around for the awful smell and found the culprit.
"Ahh Beware of the cheese makers, for they bring bad smells." Horatio said as they turned to head back, only to come face to face with the salesman again.
"You like?" he asked holding up an ugly brown fabric with huge flowers on it.
"Look I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you wart-hog-faced buffoon, NO, BOONOFF!" Sam said pushing past the man.
"You should have given up before you even began" Horatio said as he followed Sam into the crowd.
"What?" The salesman said as he watched the couple disappear into the crowd.
Horatio caught up with Sam as she stopped at a small stall that they had missed earlier.
"This is perfect!" Sam exclaimed as she held up the small bundle.
"Oh that is perfect everyone needs one of those" Horatio said looking over the bundle with approvement.
"Lets pay for it because I gotta get back, I'm helping Liz with her surprise" Sam said as she paid the young street trader.
"Let me take it, that way they can't find it accidentally" Horatio said taking the bundle off Sam.
"Ok…Hey what's going on over there?" Sam said pointing to the group of guards at the tavern. They made their way over to find Jack standing face to face with Gillette.
"What's going on here?" Sam demanded as she and Horatio pushed through the crowd.
"He was trying to sneak off" Gillette said, his eyes never leaving Jack's face.
Jack looked insulted. "I was just stretching me legs! Everyone's so suspicious..."
"What are you doing here?" Sam asked Jack who smile sheepishly.
"I was thirsty" He said as Gillette scoffed.
"He was trying to sneak off, that's what he was doing" Gillette sneered at the pirate who just looked bored with the whole conversation.
"I'm sure that's not what really happened" Horatio said. "He probably just needed some fresh air"
"Yeah" Jack said giving Horatio a confirming smile.
"And really, where was he going to sneak off to anyway? There is hardly anywhere to go in this town as it is and there are no ships in the port anyway. Besides that, why would he do something like leaving on the eve of the wedding? Gillette you are making hardly any sense at all" Horatio said as the Lieutenant turned some angry eyes at Horatio.
"This is not your place boy" He snapped.
"Ok look, I have to head home now anyway. We will accompany Jack back to the house." Sam said stepping between Gillette and Horatio. Sam smiled a sultry smile at Gillette who seemed to melt at the sight of her. "Is that alright with you, Lieutenant?" She said tilting her head to the side and batting her eyes in an over the top expression.
"I…err…umm…yes, quite alright, Miss Turner" He said blushing and turning away.
Sam turned to the boys with an evil smile of her own. "Let's go" She said as she took Horatio's arm and skipped up the path with Jack following, chuckling along the way. They joked and chattered all the way back to the house, Horatio left them halfway to head back to his place, leaving Sam and Jack alone.
"So what's this ye doing now?" Jack asked as they walked though the main gates to the mansion.
"Well, Liz wanted to surprise Will, so I'm teaching her to…I don't know if I should say" Sam said giving Jack a sideways glance.
"Why, I wouldn't tell a soul" Jack said demonstratively causing Sam to laugh as he almost knocked over a potted plant.
"Sure you wouldn't, but it's a surprise and I'm not telling anyone, so you will just have to wait until the wedding" Sam said as she opened the door to the mansion and headed up the stairs.
"Would I lie?" Jack yelled up at her, she turned with a cunning smile.
"Yes, Pirate!" she said as she disappeared into her room leaving a laughing Jack at the bottom of the stairs.
Caboodles my fellow oodles I have updated this story, are you happy? Of course you are!!
"Have you found him?"
"Who?" Legolas asks as he throws himself onto the lounge.
"Drake, I asked you to look for him"
"Oh yeah, no, but I met an old friend" He said with a smile.
"Oh?"
"Yeah, BRING HIM IN GUYS" Legolas yelled as Elladan and Jack dragged a baggy clothed figure into the room.
"Great you brought in a street bum"
"No we didn't, its Aragorn" He said with a smile.
"Well he looks like a street bum…wait a second…Aragorn?"
"Yes, he was behind the spa, passed out we think, he's still breathing which is a good sign" Elladan said as they laid him down in the table.
"NNaagggrrrrag" Aragorn groaned as the overhead light beamed onto his face.
"Why is he here?"
"We are not sure, we are hoping he is taking the place of Drake though" Legolas said as he turned the TV on.
"Rrrriiigggghhhhttt…where is Elrohir?"
"Dunno" Jack said as he took another bottle of rum. "Said something about the rooster king"
"Rooster king?...oh no the neighbours" as if on cue a loud /thwack/ and a muffled screech was heard outside. This was followed by Elrohir coming in with a large smile on his face.
"What have you done?"
"I have disposed of the beast that Sauron had sent to drive us mad" He said with a happy smile as he put his bow and quiver aside.
"No you have disposed of next door's prize winning rooster…/sigh/…did anyone see you?"
"Worry not, I was as stealthy as a fox" He said smiling as a frustrated Aus threw a pillow at him.
"Wonderful, like nothing else in my life can go wrong" /CRASH/ "Bugger; I should learn not to speak"
