A Disclaimer- I STILL OWN NUTHIN…I mean sure I DO own EVERYTHING but apparently I can't tell anyone about it!! So…ah… cough I give credit to Disney for creating such wonderful and sexy and hot and charming and suave and…sorry got off track, where was I, oh yes…exciting characters. I own Sam though and random characters but if you wanna use them for something…a nice something then you may, just give me credit for it!!
THE FACTS ARE BACK!!!
Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
Poor things, cause they are missing SO much!!
Previously on ANF – Shopping, shopping, pressies, accusations all in all a pretty boring chapter I think.
Final Line of ANF – "Yes, Pirate!" she said as she disappeared into her room leaving a laughing Jack at the bottom of the stairs.
Random word for the day – Frag – Similar to the word that sounds like Duck
Always and Forever
"NO"
"Why?"
"Because it's pure stupidity!"
"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits!!!"
"No"
"WHY?"
"Why do you think?"
"You're chicken?"
Sam and Elizabeth were discussing the options of having a small get together that night, AKA hen's night. Elizabeth was protesting as she wanted to look her best for her wedding but Sam wanted to partake in these festivals and you couldn't have these festivities if the bride wasn't there. They sat in the drawing room watching the afternoon sun set over the sea.
"C'mon its tradition!" Sam said. (Look I don't care if it wasn't invented around then so don't complain about it OK?!)
"Really? Because it really sounds like you made it up?" Elizabeth said rasing an eyebrow. Sam threw her hands up in the air and pointed at Elizabeth.
"Don't be such a party pooper, the men get to have their night, why can't the girls. I thought you were all for equal rights?" Sam said.
"I am" Elizabeth sighed. "But if Will is doing this, then one of us has to look normal"
"PA-LEEZE, Will won't get too drunk, Jack will do that for him and besides that Horatio is going to keep an eye on him"
"Oh right, and Horatio can be trusted?" Elizabeth scoffed "Last time he almost jumped off … wait no he DID jump off the docks fully clothed!"
"Oh that one time" Sam said with as smile as she remembered.
"Oh really, what about the time he ran naked through the streets, burnt I LOVE SAM into the side of a hill, Stole Commodore Norrighton's Wig…" Elizabeth started to count off the random thing Horatio had done.
"Oh come on Lizzy, that was all in fun, besides, he did half of that sober. Look, as your maid of honour, I am in charge!" Sam said putting her hands on her hips.
"Is that so? Wasn't it enough I let you design the dresses?" Elizabeth sighed.
"No, I insist you have fun tonight, ok? Just trust me, have I ever lead you astray…wait…don't answer that" Sam laughed throwing herself next to Elizabeth on the lounge. She rested her head on Elizabeth's shoulder. And sighed "I can't believe tomorrow that we will be sisters, even if it's by law"
"I know, I can hardy believe it myself." Elizabeth smiled as she patted Sam's head.
"Everything is ready, dresses are made, the church is ready, the reception area is finished, and your surprise is perfect" Sam said as she sat up and looked at Elizabeth who smiled softly.
"Do you think it will be alright tomorrow?" She asked as Sam laughed.
"Just remember what I have taught you, you will be fine. Just lock onto Will's eyes and don't tear away from them otherwise you will loose your concentration. It is alright to close your eyes that may even help, just don't freak out and remember I will be right there to help you!" Sam said patting her shoulder. "I'm going to make sure the boys are gone and get the girls over here, ok?"
"Mmmm" Elizabeth said as she stared out over the ocean. Everything was happening, everything she had wanted for so long was about to happen.
"Wash you mean I 'ave a head?"
"Wait lemme check" /THUNK/ "Yeps dats a head"
"No, shtop, no more drinks for me…you I mean you,"
The tavern was full of rowdy drunk men, three of them being Jack, Will and Horatio. But also among them sat Norrington, varies guards and local men that Will wasn't sure he knew, but all that didn't matter at the moment for they were celebrating Will's last day as a single man.
"WILL ME BOY" Jack hollered causing everyone around him to jump "Do ye know how te dance?"
"Why of course, I think…yes, I can dansh" Will said using over the top hand movements just like Jack.
Jack pounded the table. "Well den show us what ye can do!" and with that Will jumped up on the table, and after wobbling dangerously for a moment he regained his feet and started to do a merry jig atop of the table. Much like a hobbit would, he kicked out and jumped around all while the men sang along with a tune that didn't quite make sense and was quite hard to understand. In the end Will fell off the table into the arms of Jack who also fell as soon as Will landed on him.
"Woops" They said as they tried to stand again, but couldn't so they decided to sit under the table…well Will was sitting until he passed out.
"Jash, you should marry my sishta" He said as he passed out on some man's shoes.
"I agree" Jack said before climbing back up to joining the festivities.
"LETS PLAY PIN THE TALE ON THE COMMODORE!" he announced much to Norrington's disapproval.
"Lets not and say we did" Norrington slurred pushing a drooling man away from him.
"Wash time ish it?" Horatio asked who seemed to be only wearing his pants.
"Why it is two hundred o' clock" A random guard hollered causing a group of them to fall about in laughter.
"Ahh more drinks!!" Horatio yelled to the barmen.
"Oh and who will pay for them all?" the barman asked.
"I WILL" Norrington announced causing a loud cheer to go up.
"Suit ye self" The barman said as he loaded the table with more rum, beer, ale and wine.
"TO WILL AND ELIZABETH" Jack hollered.
"HERE, HERE" The tavern hollered in reply.
"Where ish Will?" someone asked. Everyone looked around until Horatio, who was now just wearing some under shorts, heard some snoring from underneath the table.
"He ish asleep!" he said in disbelief.
"Why that is no good" Norrington said.
"You are right…let us decorate him!" Jack said causing the remaining crowd, basically those who hadn't passed out, to cheer in agreement. They dragged Will up onto the table and started decorating Will with anything they could find.
"This is boring" Sam complained watching Elizabeth talk to a small group of her friends.
"I agree" Megan said sipping on her tea. "Tea, I mean, this is not something you drink when you are supposed to be having a party"
"You're right…where is Elanor?" Sam asked looking around and found Elanor bounding up to them. "What are you happy about?"
"I found…sugar" She said in a hushed tone as she downed a glass.
"What was in that?" Megan asked.
"Sugar" Elanor replied with a big smile as her eyes started to glaze over. "You can never have too much sugar."
"I agree but at this point in time I think that anything alcoholic would be better preferred" Sam said as she left the room and returned five minutes later with a brown bottle. The girls looked at her oddly and she just smiled "Jack's stash" and they nodded in approval.
Sam made her way over to the tea kettle and carefully, without being seen thanks to the others standing guard, poured about a quarter of the bottle in.
"Now there is enough in there to make people loosen up but not enough to be noticed…ok?" Sam said as she took a swig from the bottle instead and then handing it over to both Megan and Elanor who also took swigs.
Ten minutes later
"AND I TOLD HIM I DIDN'T LIKE CABBAGES" Elizabeth yelled as she fell over giggling at her own little joke.
"Thish tea is wondershful, I mush get the reshepie" one of Elizabeth's friend's said and some others nodded.
"Its weally vewy smiple…wealy…I rish I could wemeber how to make it…I wish I could wemember how to stand as well" Elizabeth laughed as she clung onto the nearby chair and pulled herself up.
"Oh Frag I kicked my toe" Megan exclaimed as she looked at her feet. "Where am me shoes?"
"Dunno" was the chorus that answered.
"Oh" She said taking another swig of the bottle. Sam took the bottle off her and drank down the remaining half of the bottle.
"SMAMF" Elizabeth yelled as she tried to make her way over but she just fell over.
"YA" Sam replied.
"Did ye put da grum in da wee…pee…key…TEA" Elizabeth said as Sam guided her over to the couch. Sam wasn't as drunk as the others, due to the fact that she was a regular drinker and one bottle of rum wasn't going to do much to her.
"Yes" She said as she lay Elizabeth down on the lounge.
"Good, you are compweatly mad insnide" Elizabeth mumbled before she passed out.
"You'd know all about the madness inside, now wouldn't you?" she said as she put a coat over her. Suddenly there was a loud pounding on the door. Elanor skipped over to the door to answer it.
"Who is it?" She asked giggling as she did so.
"It ish da Easter bunny" A slurred voice said through the door. Elanor looked confused and turned to Sam who had made her was over.
"Dish you order a stripper?" She asked as she fell into a nearby chair.
"No" Sam said as she opened the door only to have Jack fall into her. "Jack?"
"'Ello me lovely" He said as he pulled them up. "I 'ave brought ye a present"
"Oh?" Sam said as Horatio came flying at her knocking her down again. "Ray?" she asked but was only met with a kiss. She pushed him off and Jack and Elanor helped them up as a few more men walked in. It was at this point she noticed that Horatio was only wearing his under shorts.
"Ray where are you clothes?" She asked as he shrugged. Sam turned to Jack who just smiled. "Where is Will?"
"He's safe, jush like I promised, he's all set to marry Lillibit jush like he promised and the donkey's all set to sleep with Nozza jush like it promised. So we're all men o' our words weally 'cept the donkey who is in fact a eunuch" Jack said as he fell into a chair.
"I see" Sam said as she helped Ray stand still. "Make sure they don't break anything" She said to Elanor who saluted her. Sam took Horatio to her room where she put him to bed; he passed out as soon as he hit the pillow. She made her way back down stairs to find most of the guests passed out, Jack on top of a table retelling a story to Megan and Elanor who were laughing insanely, a few guests getting "acquainted". Sam ran her hands through her hair. It was about 2 o'clock in the morning when Sam managed to get the last of the guests out. Megan and Elanor were asleep on and under a table, Jack was dancing to his own music and Elizabeth was snoring heavily as she started to slip off the lounge. Sam grabbed her and tried to lift her, but she weighed a surprisingly lot, most probably due to the dress she was wearing.
"Jack" Sam said as she watched Jack dance around shaking his hips and twirling around. "JACK!" She said louder but still not getting his attention. She finally got his attention to when she threw a pillow at him. "JACK!!"
"WHAT!!" He yelled back.
"A little help?" She asked indicating to Elizabeth.
"Oh" He said as he lifted her up and followed Sam to Elizabeth's room where they set her down in her bed.
"Had a little too much did she?" He asked as they left the room.
"Yeah, these people can't hold their liquor that's for sure." She said as Jack put Megan and Elanor on lounges and she put blankets over them. "Hmm" she said as she looked around at the mess.
"Do it tomorrow, luv" Jack said putting and arm about her shoulders as they walked to their respected rooms. Just before Sam went inside she turned to Jack.
"Where is Will?" She asked as Jack's face broke out into a smile.
"He's around"
Meanwhile in the middle of town
"Err" Will groaned, as he shifted uncomfortably in his sleep. For some reason it was really cold…and wet.
"Jack" Sam said rasing her eyebrow at him and he just shrugged as she turned and went into her room where a snoring Horatio lay. She turned and looked out her window only to see a figure sliding down the tree. She ran over to the window and threw it open as the figure ran across the backyard.
"If I ever catch you I'm going to shove a sausage down your throat and stick starving dogs up your butt." She screamed as she watched the figure jump over a low fence and disappear into the night. Below her she saw Jack rush out onto his balcony.
"Are ye alright?" he asked and she just nodded.
"Yeah, just another close encounter of the weird kind. Night Jack" She said as she turned back into her room.
"Night, luv" Jack said as he watched her leave. He turned and looked out over the backyard, vowing to catch this guy and make him pay.
DUN…DUN…DUN…another chapter, oh where could Will be??? I decided you guys needed a few chapters here because I haven't updated in a while…oh well on to the next chapter!!
"Soooo Aragorn…what are you doing here?"
"I am not quite sure. One second I was trekking through the forest and then I was falling and I hit my head on that large tub outside. That is all I remember" Aragorn said as he bandaged his head.
"Do you need some help?"
"No it is quite alright" He said as finished up.
"Hmm"
"What?" he asked.
"Hmm…oh ah nothing, just thinking. You go and watch TV with the others. It will be nice for Jack to have another human male to talk too"
"Jack? Is he the pirate?" Aragorn asked as he stood up.
"Yep, that'll be the one"
"Alright…miss?"
"Just call me Aus"
"Alright Miss Aus"
"No, NO, I mean just AUS"
"Alright mi…Aus" He said with a smile before joining the group in front of the TV. They try and explain the TV even though they don't understand it themselves.
"This is odd, where the hell did he come from…and where the hell is Drake? Maybe he's performing black magic somewhere. Hmm anyway, onto the next chapter!!"
