A Disclaimer- I STILL OWN NUTHIN…I mean sure I DO own EVERYTHING but apparently I can't tell anyone about it!! So…ah… (Cough) I give credit to Disney for creating such wonderful and sexy and hot and charming and suave and…sorry got off track, where was I, oh yes…exciting characters. I own Sam though and random characters but if you wanna use them for something…a nice something then you may, just give me credit for it!!


THE FACTS ARE BACK!!!

No word in the English language rhymes with "MONTH."
Fonth crunth ganth gonth ponth damn they're right!


Previously on ANF – Oh deary me kiddies something bad has happened to Sam and who is going to be the one to save her?

Final Line of ANF – and that was the last thing she heard before the world went black.


WWWWWWOOOOOOHOOOOOOO I'M ALIVE I'M ALIVE AND FRRREEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! After a few hard weeks of studying (chorus of 'HA' is heard) Shuddupaya face…anyway I AM BACK to update for you all because I know it's been forever since I last updated…both my stories actually…anyway I got a plot bunny in my mind and had to type my next chappie, is that a "about damn time" I heard…yes well I agree. So here is the next chapter I hope it lives up to your expectations!


MY WWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDDEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRFFFFFFFUUUUUUULLLLLLL REVIEWERS!!

Fallenangel69711 – Thanks heaps for your review, twas much appreciated! Sam's insane and that's why I like her as well though there hasn't been as much insaneness as I would have liked lately, but that'll change!

Pokerfiend1313 – I know what it's like to be busy…sssssssoooooo busy lately…but the good kinda busy, you know the PARTY busyness hehehe 3 parties 3 days 3 litres of alcohol (per day) 3 hours sleep WHOOPEE!! Ah yes twas a mean ending…how good is the word twas…twas…TWAS TTTWWWAAASSS (is hit with heavy book)…ow ok I'm quite hangovers are painful I know I know.

German Gypsy – YAY PIXIE STIX…the evilness is spreading…MMWWWWAAHAHAHAHA…. cccccchhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssseeeeeeee…so yeah I'm insane…it's cool with the reviewing cause guess what I AIN'T UPDATED IN A LONG TIME…fancy that. I like being complimented…TWAS good!!

Costume-the-strange – I HATE THAT, I always like having lllllllllllllllooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggg things when I speak cause I'm strange and wonderful and everyone loves me (pokes everyone in the cage) don'tchya??!! Don'tchya???!! HAHAHAHHA AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH PENGUINS ARE COMING…hehehe I know a funny joke about penguins…I shall put it at the bottom of the chapter!!

LegolasGreenleafGil-Estel – Ah you know me too well, yes that was a leggy moment there, you caught me blue handed…that's right not red but BLUE!! Man it's hard to respond to you after so long because most of it's been answered, lets see what hasn't been answered??? OK now you DO know me to well…were you at the fireman party?? ;) yes it would be wrong if you said your bro was hot…unless you said it like we planned then it's ok but don't worry cause I did the same thing with one of my good friends as well…mmmm her bros a footy player…hehehe the other night when we were going out I went to the door and knocked and since I was KINDA ditzy that day I wasn't really paying attention…well until her bro came to the door in his BOXERS AAAAHHHHHH oh boy did that get my attention…mmmm he had nice legs, sssoooo muscly…hehehe now I'm trying to get her to tell him he has hot legs but she wont…so I'm gonna tell him…MMWWAAHAHAHA you only live once – my new motto, also the cause of serious "lets roll down that big grassy hill in a public park while wearing clothes not suitable for hill rolling" moments…hehhehe I like acting childish, twas fun!! My friend's skirt ended being backwards and by boobtube was around my waist…thank god for bras…hehehe twas fun!!! Ok well that's about it, I'm gonna switch into random mode any…second…PEANUT GALLERY!! I'M GONNA WALK LIKE A MAN TALK LIKE A MAN WALK LIKE A MAN MY SSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNN (incoherent mumbling involving "earth") DA DA DADADADDA FANDGADOOP FIDDLY PAPRIKA.

Lady Nicole Potter – OOOHHHH did you hear that, she said I rule…IN YOUR FACE LEGOLAS!!!! HAHAHAHHA (is hit with a shoe) OW!! bite me OK (chases Legolas around until teeth are finally clamped on his forearm) OOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW ha-Ha you said and I quote "BITE ME" so…I did. I too also like that song, twas good choice me thinks…me also thinks that I want…HOT CHOCOLATE…mmmmm.

Amanda – Ahh yes poor little Aragorn, he will be my blonde-moment-muse, so sweet and innocent and I think the fall from the sky hurt his head!! I like rambling, I ramble a lot, I would ramble now but I don't wanna ramble so I'm not. Hehehe I knew you knew that I knew you'd know that I knew that you knew that I knew that you knew that it was Louis, I also knew that you knew that I knew that you knew that I knew that you THOUGHT it was going to be suss…naughty minded children!!

Dimonah Tralon – I told Jacky that and he was flattered and then got some rum and became plastered and started telling me things that you two did…I think my mental capacity is scared…nope…it's alright especially after all I have seen/done/thought.

Serilia – I have updated but you knew that already because you would have already seen that it was updated and I've just realised that this makes no sense and the light from the computer is hurting my poor eyes, it's ok eyes well go to bed soon and watch the LOTR as it is on TV at the moment and I am mentally playing it in my mind and I'm just gonna stop…BADGERS EAT PEANUT BRITTLE!!

Arsinoe Selene – I know sometimes I even surprise my self…GNAHH I hate talking like that##!#!! That's my feeble attempts to hit the '!' button…hehehe I'm not drunk…yet…on slightly but it's the back up alcohol from 2 days ago…and yesterday…and this sarvo…yeah. I can't get onto the soup fiction net thingy, I think the computer/internet gremlins stole my keyboard…hang on…room spinny…ok I'm good…HAH I've never been good…I've been GREAT! Look I hit in on the first go!! WOOT Yay me…oh dear heading off to bed, LOTR is playing on telly yay!


Random word for the day – dodgyrodgey – strange, crazy, insane, frightening


Always and Forever


Jack sat at the table with his head in his hands.

'I shouldn't have come back; I knew that if I saw her it would break me up. I KNEW she was happy and here I come, sailing in just to break my own damn heart at the sight of her and Horatio. It's me own fault, I should never have left her here, I should have come back, I should have…"

Jack's thought's trailed off as he watched Horatio walk over to Will with a worried expression etched onto his chiselled features. After they exchanged words both men walked over to where Jack sat, something in their eyes made Jack's heart skip a beat.

"Jack, you haven't perhaps seen Sam in the last 2 hours have you?" Will asked as Jack leaned back in the wooden chair so that the front legs came off the ground.

"No, I 'ssumed she was with 'im" he said pointing to Horatio as he put his feet, now adorning his own worn boots again.

"She was, but she left a while ago to get some air. I wasn't worried at first as she usually goes off by herself but something feels so very wrong. The last time I saw her she was on that balcony." Horatio said pointing to the wide open balcony where Sam had once been standing.

"Seems she ain't there now" Jack drawled staring at the open doors, hiding his obvious concern.

"Why are you acting as though you don't even care?" Horatio accused "Especially after everything I KNOW you two have been through"

Jack raised his furious brown eyes and stared hard at the boy in front of him. "Don't go there lad, unless you want to see how fast a real pirate can draw a sword I advise you stay far away from that topic" Jack looked back at Will and gave a forced smile. "Why ye worrying anyways? Ye know just as well as I do that she always runs off, doing what ever she bloody likes"

"Yes Jack, I realise that but she wouldn't have left this" Will said holding up her bag.

"So she's forgotten her bag, what of it?" Jack said leaning further back in the chair, it now seemed as though it might fall at any moment.

"Yeah but do you ever remember Sam leaving this behind?" Will said removing a beautiful dagger from inside the bag; it had a gold encrusted handle and 3 pearls embedded in its handle. Jack's eyes grew big, he knew very well that she always had that dagger hidden somewhere on her, he knew so well in fact that he had a scar to prove it. Will watched as Jack's expression changed and he slowly tipped backwards, lading with a loud crash to the ground.

"Christ!" He exclaimed as he jumped up quickly and took the dagger from Will, running his finger over the handle.

"So know you know why we are so worried" Horatio said, his eyes flicking to the door in hope to she would come bouncing through the door at any moment. Jack looked around the room and spied her two friends near the band, he stalked over to the, Will and Horatio on his tail.

"Oi you two!" He said as the girls turned round and smiled at him.

"Good evening Captain Sparrow" Megan said with a cheeky smile.

"Good MORNING'S more like it" Elanor laughed.

"So it is" Megan agreed giving the large grandfather clock in the corner a glance. "What can we help you with?"

"Do you know where Sam is?" Will asked with his pleading brown eyes. The girls sensing his anxiousness dropped their smiles.

"Why she was walking through the garden with Louis about an hour ago, why?" Elanor asked cocking her head to the side in confusion.

"Louis?" Horatio and Jack asked at the same time.

"Yes, they were talking about something…the sea I think I heard. They were walking towards the docks last time I saw them" Megan said giving the young man to her left a cheeky glance. "I didn't follow her though; I was kinda preoccupied, besides she's always been able to look after herself. Why are you worried?"

"She hasn't returned, neither has Louis." Will mumbled, thinking hard about what he has just heard.

"Weird fellow that Louis never really liked him myself; Always sneaking around and popping up where you'd least expect it." Elanor said, scowling at the thought of the man.

"You shouldn't be too worried about her. I mean she's been though all kinds of things before and you've never been worried about her." Megan said as the same time as Elanor, Will's head snapped up.

"What was that? About Louis?" he asked urgently.

"Louis? He always seemed to pop up everywhere we were. Never really addressed us though, I think he was quite infatuated with Sam but he knew she was taken. Come to think about it he commended her on her singing once" Elanor said as she looked up thoughtfully at the ceiling.

"What? She never sings in front of people…not properly anyway. Like tonight she only sang slightly letting Elizabeth take the main stage…oh and not to forget those incessant crazy tunes like the one that just doesn't end"

"IT GOES ON AND ON MY FRIENDS SOME PEOPLE STARRRRTED SINGING IT NOT KNOWING WHAT IT WAS AND THEY'LL CONTINUE SINGING IT FOR EVER JUST BECAUSE THIS IS THE SONG THAT DOESN'T END YES IT GOES ON AND ON MY FRIENDS…" Megan and Elanor sang/yelled causing the three men to cover their ears.

"ALRIGHT" Jack hollered causing the girls to stop and commence laughing. "Back to Louis"

"Do we have to talk about him, I usually call him "Sam's strange sandy skulled stalker" or dodgyrodgey for short" Megan laughed.

"Stalker…Oh my god" Will said staring shockingly at the ground. "All this time, right under my very nose"

"What?" they all asked looking at the shocked look on Will's face.

"The man in the tree, knows her singing, popping up everywhere…"A look of disgust crossed Will's fine features "Working for me" he spat.

"So?" Horatio asked.

"Don't you see…it was him…all his attempts at getting closer to her; That sick twisted man…Ahh I even let him IN our house" Will looked up suddenly, his eyes flashing with fury at the though of his sister at the hands of the madman. "We have to find her NOW"

"We should tell the Commodore" Horatio said, moving off to find Norrighton in the dwindling crowd.

"I shall inform Elizabeth" Will said heading over to where Elizabeth sat talking to some friends.

"We shall grab something to eat" Megan said pulling Elanor over to the food table.

"And I shall sharpen my sword" Jack growled as he looked into the night.


The world was rocking slightly; the wind biting cold and the ground unusually soft. Sam stirred slightly but stopped upon feeling a pain to the side of her head. Reaching up she felt a sticky lump, pulling away she saw her blurred hand covered in a red substance. Bringing it closer to her nose she smelt the steely fragrance and knew instantly that it was blood.

'What happened?' she thought wincing as she moved again, this time to sit up and look around and noted that she was in a dark room on a large silk bed. 'What the…?' taking a deep breath to calm herself she noted that the air smelt salty.

'Wait a second…salty air, rocking…aaawww crap I'm on a damn ship' Sam sighed 'How the hell did I get here?' she wondered, then the memories all came back to her.

The wedding, Will, Elizabeth, The reception, Jack, Horatio, walking in the garden, Louis, creepy, black.

'Aaawww shit, Elanor was right…Sam's strange sandy skulled stalker. It must have been him in the tree…oh the wanker knocked me out…why?' The cabin door opened and a shadowy figure walked in, Sam looked up quickly…big mistake, the sudden movement sent a wave of pain through her head and she fell backwards onto the pillow.

"Ah Princess, I see that you have finally awoken" Louis said as he walked into the candle light. Sam moved to say something but he just put a finger to her lips. "Shh no talking right now, everything will be answered in dew time my sweet" He said as he stroked her face. If she hadn't been so paralysed with pain she might have fought him. He turned and started to pour a drink and as if on cue Sam felt a wave of thirst wash over her.

"Would you like some my lovely flamingo?" Louis asked holding out the glass. She nodded slightly and wincing in pain.

'Flamingo?? This guy is seriously dodgyrodgey' she though as she took the glass. First a sip and then suddenly the glass was empty. She handed it back to him and he refilled it and handed it back, halfway though this glass she felt very drowsy.

'He drugged it!' Her mind screamed as her eyes got heavier.

"Oh you are very tired my sweet, rest now, you'll need all the strength you can muster." He said standing up watching as her glass slipped from her hand and spilt all over her dress. "Oh look, you've spilt it all over yourself; I'll find you something nice to wear"

"Don't…touch…me" She growled slowly "He'll…get…you"

"Who? my chickadee That lovely guard of your's Horatio? Or maybe the Pirate Jack Sparrow? Hmm no matter, but the time they get their arses into gear we'll be long gone"

But Sam wasn't listening anymore; she had slipped into a dreamless sleep. All she knew was as long as he held her captive it was her duty to make his life a living hell, and she knew many…MANY ways to do that.


YAY an updatation!!! MMMWWWAAAHHAHAHAHAHA I know it's an evil short one but I though, hell it's better then nothing. Don't worry it wont be very long between chapters anymore…oh except in the next month…I have a LOT of partying to catch up on…and then there's schoolies…but besides that I have like 3 months to do NOTHING…except update of course!!




RANDOM JOKE ABOUT PENGUINS!! PLZ DON'T GET OFFENDED OR ANYTHING!!

The Seven Dwarfs go to the Vatican and, because they have requested an audience, and as they are THE Seven Dwarfs, they are ushered in to see the Pope. Dopey leads the pack.

"Dopey, my son," says the Pope, "what can I do for you?"

Dopey asks, "Excuse me, Your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?"

The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment and answers, "No, Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome."

In the background a few of the dwarfs start giggling.

Dopey turns around and gives them a glare, silencing them. Dopey turns back, "Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe?"

The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers, "Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe."

This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter. Once again, Dopey turns around and silences them with an angry glare.

Dopey turns back and says, "Your extreme holiness! Are there ANY dwarf nuns any where in the world?"

After consulting with his advisers, the Pope responds, "I'm sorry my son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world."

The other dwarfs collapse in a heap, rolling, laughing and pounding the floor, tears streaming down their cheeks as they begin chanting......

"Dopey shagged a penguin!"

"Dopey shagged a penguin!"

Hehehe his name's Dopey.


"Hmmm" Aus stands at the doorway looking at the strange group before her as they watch TV.

"What?" Legolas asks watching her stand in deep thought.

"I…think…" Aus stops and again looks thoughtful.

"Yes?" Elladan asks.

"I need to go to the toilet" She says bounding off to the bathroom but not before turning the light off and sending them into darkness with only the TV as a light source.

"Thanks for sharing" Elrohir yells.

"YOU'RE WELCOME" She yells back.

"Turn the light on" Legolas tells Jack.

"Turn the light on" Jack tells Elladan.

"Turn the light on" Elladan tells Elrohir.

"Turn the light on" Elrohir tells Aragorn.

"I poke badgers with spoons" Aragorn tells everyone.

"Fine" They say all utterly confused at the "kings" words.

The boys are all sitting around watching SpongeBob Squarepants in the dark. They watch as the squid-dude does something to the starfish dude-Patrick.

"DESTROY HIM" Aragorn yells at the TV brandishing his sword.

"Hey Aragorn calm down, it's not real alright?" Elrohir says patting Aragorn's arm.

"Oh…yes…I knew that" He says sheepishly.

"Sure you did" Elladan laughs as Jack changes the channel to the movie The Exorcist – FUNNIEST MOVIE EVER!!!

It reaches the uncut part where she comes running down the stairs doing the crab walk – FUNNIEST PART IN THE WHOLE MOVIE.

"AAAAHHHHHH" They all yell. Aragorn lunges at the TV with his sword.

"DIE DEVIL BITCH" he yells, who knew he knew such words! The TV Smashes and Aus comes running back in to find them all in the dark.

"What the hell was that?" she asks turning the light on only to find Aragorn with all his hair standing on end and a clueless expression on his face as his sword and hand stick out of the smoking TV.

"Oh my god" Aus says.

"Pickles" Aragorn says as he falls to the ground.

"ESTEL" Elves yell.

"TV" Jack and Aus yell.

"SCREAMING MONGOOSE" Aragorn yells before he passes out.