Chapter VII : Confrontations with Myself (Me & Myself)
"Dear Journal,
It's been a while since I last made an entry, hasn't it? I must tell that wonderful things have happened. I have the best friend anyone could dream of, Hiiragizawa Eriol. To fill you in history I tell you that this young man happened to be the Advisor of the Queen. As he informed me, Clow Reed was Queen Elizabeth's personal Advisor and thus, the responsibility now rested on his shoulders. He has vast knowledge about everything concerning the Royal Family and every tiny piece of historical information there is. Only the most important royalty members know about his background as a sorcerer… Only the ones that need to know, as he said.
There's something that keeps on bothering me during the past couple of months. I'm developing strange feelings and they're freaking me out. I feel my cheeks get warm and flushed. Sometimes I stutter or get shy all of a sudden, and sometimes I melt and my knees go weak! I just can't stand it, it's embarrassing."
I can hear the MIDI version of Moonlight Sonata coming from the silver-plated cordless phone so I drop the purple pen, close the diary and rush to get the call.
"Hello Eriol-kun!" I greet over the phone. How do I know? ID call service!
"Hi Tomoyo-san, mmmm are you busy right now?" I hear his voice and my heart skips a beat.
"Nope, not really… I had just finished my homework and already studied my share for the day." Looking over the desk filled with books and papers.
"Great, Nakuru wanted you to have dinner with us tonight and I just got this new DVD…" He says and I can feel him smirking.
"Sounds tempting… Are you coming to pick me up or should I tell the chauffeur to drive me there?" Walking towards bed and taking a glance of the Dream Machine display.
Seven past-meridian.
"I'll pick you up, I'll give you a call when I'm a block away okay?" In the background I can hear the sound of the keys being picked up.
"Alright, I'm going to change into more proper clothes then." Suddenly remembering that I'm in a pair of tiny jean shorts and a baby-blue tank top. Super comfortable, extra revealing… Must change.
"Oh, I see… Those tiny shorts again Tomoyo-san?" He says laughing in a damn sexy way.
"Yes, you got a problem?" I ask, arching an eyebrow.
"Not really, I don't mind having you clad in those skimpy shorts of yours." His voice dropped an octave and I almost fall in bed.
"In your dreams Eriol-kun… Only in your dreams." Giggling all the way.
"You're so mean to me Tomoyo-san!... I'm going now, bye!" And I hear a door shutting close.
"Ja ne!" To then click the cordless off.
After placing the cordless on the bedside table From the walk-in closet I took a pair of low-cut, tight-fitting black capris and change, thinking that the baby-blue tank-top is fine. I put my hair in a high pony-tail with a baby-blue hair-band and apply a touch of lip-gloss with e-vitamin. Even though I've been living here for more than six months, my lips don't seem to get used to the weather, thus I have to take extra care of them.
I slide on my sky-blue and black pair of Sketchers to then grab one of the many handbags there are in the closet. Stuffing it with my Samsung color cell-phone, the lip-gloss I used, wallet, and Pochacco PC's agenda I decide it's time to go down and pour myself a glass of water before going out… Oh I forgot! I must tell okaasan.
Before going to the kitchen I head to the Study Room to see if mother is in there. I knock thrice but no one answers me so I get in, just to find it empty. In the glass-topped desk the computer screen is showing Windows XP Bliss screensaver and some papers. I turn off the LCD screen and exit the room. Strange, I thought mom was here.
In the kitchen, while drinking my water, I ask Marie for mother and she says that the Ma'am had gone out about fifteen minutes ago to attend to something urgent that showed up in the office. I thanked her and informed that I won't be having dinner here tonight. She looked questioningly at me but once I told her I was going to meet Eriol, she smiled and nodded.
I finished the water and fished inside the bag for the silver-plated cell-phone using speed-dial to contact mom.
"Moshi moshi! Daijoubu ka Tomoyo-chan?" I hear mother's kind voice over the phone.
"Hai, hai… Daijoubu desu wa okaasan… I called to tell you that I'm going to have dinner at Eriol-kun's place tonight, if that's alright with you." I said, looking at my wristwatch.
"Of course honey! Please send my greetings to Eriol-kun, Nakuru-san and Spinel-san… Thanks for calling and have a good night!" She paused and I thought that she was going to hung up when I heard her voice again. "I don't know how long this will take Tomoyo-chan… Please tell Marie that I won't be having dinner as well, okay?"
"Alright mom, but please don't stress yourself out too much." I say, concerned.
"Don't worry baby, I'll be fine and will try my best to finish this before midnight… Bye!" And she hungs up.
I take the phone out of earshot and look at the colorful screen displaying Mom and a cute looking phone. Smiling at it, I press the red, end button and, just when I was about to close the flip of the phone, it starts ringing.
Incoming call: Eriol-kun.
Before I could say something, I hear the caller's voice. "I'm down Tomoyo-san."
"Okay, I'm going now."
It takes me like three minutes or so to get to where he is, parked in front of our condo. The soft top of his BMW is down and the early night breeze is playing with Eriol's midnight hair, making him look absolutely gorgeous. After saying a quick hello to the security guard and giving him a smile, I exit the building. Just a few feet away is my destination.
"Hello Eriol-kun!" Giving him a peck on the right cheek. "I never thought you were going to call today…" Fastening the seat-belt on. I was taught that it's better to foresee than to be sorry later on. Besides, it won't harm me in any way to do that and the amount of time I spend doing it is ridiculously short.
"Are you saying that you didn't want to be disturbed?" He inquires with moke hurt, making an emphasis in the last word.
"Mou Eriol-kun! I didn't say that," placing both hands in front of me in sign of innocence, "it's just that I wasn't expecting it, that's all!" Smiling sweetely at him. I'm telling the truth for Lord's sake.
"You better," looking at me with narrowed eyes when we stopped at a red light, "it was Nakuru's idea and she wouldn't let me be if I didn't promise to and invite you over for dinner." His face shows a truly despairing look and he sighs dramatically.
I can't help but laugh at Nakuru's antics. She really knows how to get her way. "I see… So, I must thank Nakuru-chan then… It was her idea after all." Smiling brightly at him.
"Yes, you should…" And if he wanted to add something, that I wouldn't now since his mouth stopped articulating further sounds.
I feel something nagging at me in the fartest corner of my mind. "Do you mind having me around Eriol-kun?" And my voice sounds kind of afraid. "Do I bother you?"
I can feel soft eyes gazing down at me. "Of course not Tomoyo-san, why would you think such thing?"
Color and warmth rise to my cheeks and I look sheepishly at the cars facing my right, avoiding him. "I don't know... Please forgive me."
"No harm done, Tomoyo-san." His hand squeezes my shoulder in a sign of reasurance.
The pop music of the radio station fills our comfortable silence until we reach his house. The word house really doesn't do justice to what he calls home. He lives at 18/19 Kensington Palace Gardens (dubbed by friends and family as Reed Manor) which is to say one of the most expensive homes in the United Kingdom. This five storey mansion has eight sumptuous suites with bedroom, bathroom, sitting room and dressing room. The residence has a basement with a Turkish bath, spa pool, game room, massage slab (Nakuru's idea no doubt. She just loves to be pampered!) and a swimming pool. Also there is a ballroom and a state-of-the-art cinema.
The gates open soundlessly letting us in and he parks the BMW in the driveway just in front of the main entrance.
I just land a feet in the hall when a maroon blur appears out of nowhere and I find myself in a tight bear-hug, squeezing the life out of me. Always count on Nakuru to give you the deadliest of hugs.
"I'm so happy to see you too, Nakuru-chan!" I manage a squeal with the few air that I held within my lungs.
"Let her go you baka, the poor girl is almost purple!" Comes Spinel to the resque, which I greatly appreciate.
"Good evening Spinel Sun." Silently thanking him with a bright smile while trying to fill my lungs with oxygen.
By the way, did you know that you age and die because of the oxygen you breathe? I read that oxygen weakens your cells and they die. Yup, that's true. Ironic, isn't it? If you don't breathe, you die, if you breathe you die too! Odd, odd thing indeed.
"I'm so happy that you agreed to come and have dinner with us Tomoyo-chan!" Says Nakuru in pure, childish delight and I find myself smiling at her.
"You know that I just can't say no to you guys!" And that's the pure and simple truth.
The Hiiragizawa family, to put it on a way, is deeply rooted in my heart. They gave me everything I needed, when I needed it and how I needed it.
"Dinner is about to be in half an hour... I'll call you guys when everything is served." Says the brunnette, fixing her Choco Cat appron.
"Don't tell me you're cooking one of those fancy dinners of yours Nakuru." Asks Eriol, amused at his guardian.
"Of course!" And she breaks into a grin.
"Anything I can help with, Nakuru-chan?" I ask trying to be useful.
"Nope, everything is almost ready, besides; Benjamin is supplying me with all the help I could ever need!" She said and hurried towards the kitchen. Benjamin is the family's chef.
"Surely there must be something that I could do?" And I have to rise my voice given that she's halfway gone. I don't like the sudden thought of being alone with Eriol in his territory.
"No, no, no... I'll cook while you have a nice time with our master here!" She waved us off in clear dismiss.
"If that's what you want..." I whispered to no one in particular. Oh dear Lord!
"So, what do you want to do?" Asks Eriol placing his car keys on top of a long and narrow table near the door.
"Mmmm… I don't know, let's see…" Dropping my hand bag in one of the extremely elegant but comfortable sofas there are in the receiving room. "I already thought of something!"And my face breaks into a sunny smile.
"What is it?" He says, unconsciously taking a step backwards.
Did I just make Hiiragizawa Eriol nervous?
"Remember the anime marathon we saw two weeks ago and the decks I made you buy?" I said recapitulating everything to give him some hints of my current intentions.
"Yeah… So, you want to play Yu-Gi-Oh! ®?" He asks with a grin.
"Why, of course!" Clapping my hands in childish delight.
"Ok, then let's go to the game room." Turning on his heels and leading the way.
The Game's Room is a expansive room with lots of board and table games. It has a professional pool table, a chess game with the figures in swarosky crystal and the board in black and white marble. It even has a DDR® machine! Who thought Eriol would play it? But he does and he's very, very good at it. I've tried it before and I'm getting the hang of it. It's a lot of fun! There's a square table that accommodates many board games, from domino to poker and there we settle. He takes out two decks nicely wrapped in their package and hands one to me.
Maximillian Pegasus is all mine.
"You already know the rules, don't you?" He asks opening the instruction booklet and giving a quick glance to it.
"Yes… Just by watching the anime." Doing the same.
"How many life points are we playing? We have to make it short, Nakuru can bounce at moments notice." Trying to hide a chuckle.
"I already thought of it, that's why I think that four thousand life points is quite alright." Opening the plastic wrap that holds the cards.
"Alright then…"
I shuffle my deck and he does the same. We exchange decks to do the final shuffling and return it back to the respective owner. We throw a coin in the air to decide who's going to make the first move and he wins… Maybe I was tricked? He takes six cards from his untouched deck and stares briefly at them.
"Alright… I put this trap card face-down and I summon this monster in defense mode. I'm done." Smiling at me like a Chesire cat.
I take six cards and look at them for a moment…
It's just past nine o'clock, that I can tell looking at the Grand Father clock that stands proudly in one of the many sitting rooms. I should ask Eriol-kun to drive me home now. It's getting late and I'm getting sleepy. Or maybe I want to get out because I feel uneasy? Somehow I need the security and comfort of my home and my room. I need to think.
How could this have happened to me? I should have known better than to fall in love with my best friend for God's sake! Oh, but I didn't listen to the tiny fire-like-alarms that went off in my head weeks ago. I didn't pay attention to the signals and symptoms, thus now I'm here tangled in a web of my own creation.
Maybe, if I hadn't lost myself in my new façade, in my improved self, then maybe I wouldn't be trapped in the consequences of my own liberation. Because if I had kept running under the path that I followed the past seventeen years of my life, the one that proved to be lonely but comfortable and harmless; then maybe I wouldn't have lived the wonderful moments I had here in London and I wouldn't be dealing with these matters that wrenches my heart and twists my mind so beyond imagination.
I should have kept my cool but no; he had to be here with a unspoken plea for a friend and carefree demeanor that I ended up opening up to him and losing my very heart in the process.
Then now, what am I supposed to do? First, get to my own house, that's for sure.
I close the door behind me soundlessly. The lounge is too quiet. Is okaa-san home yet? That I wonder.
I make my way towards the bedroom barely thinking a thing. I don't like what is happening nowadays in my mind. It seems that I'm not able to focus anymore. I'm not in control of my feelings and emotions and it makes me scared. I've always been in control of myself and my surroundings and this doesn't seem too good for me.
Whatever it is and how I'm going to solve it has to wait for another day because my eyes are self-closing and all this thinking made me tired. All I want right now is a warm shower and a nice bed.
Tomorrow will be another day… Everything is going to be alright.
Thank heavens for the simple pleasures.
I can always hope, right?
Tsutsuku
