Fate: Hiyas! [is in good mood]

Disclaimer: Buh?


[the sound of fire]

"I never liked this table."

"Then why are you making something out of it instead of getting rid of it?"

"Because I'm vengeful like that."

Hiei raised his eyebrows, but didn't comment. He was lounging in the living room with his feet propped up on the television set and his sword tossed across the couch. Kurama was lying on the floor and idly poking at the table leg. Which was now not so much resembling a table as an extraordinarily large jewelweed. [1]

"What're these?" Hiei asked, poking one of the seeds. Which promptly exploded.

"Seeds," Kurama replied vaguely.

"...that's very helpful."

"Mmm." Kurama rolled over and started tossing and catching what looked like a small, bright red jewel. "What rooms do I have left to do?"

"That one in there," Hiei answered, pointing to the kitchen. "And your room."

Kurama kept tossing and catching the seed. "Mmm. I want to do my room last."

"So what about that room?" Hiei gestured with a foot.

"I'm trying to remember which plants I have that like blood," Kurama replied idly. "I can't just fling a handful of seeds in there and say, 'Grow, dammit!'"

"...isn't that what you did in there?" This time the foot pointed to the foyer.

"I hated that foyer," Kurama said succinctly.

"...hn."

Toss. Catch. Toss. Catch.

"Why'd you kiss me?"

Tosscatchfumbledrop. Kurama rolled over again very quickly and propped himself up on his elbows. "What?"

Hiei stared at him. "Well?"

Kurama thought for a few seconds. "I wanted to."

"I'm not planning on being a toy just to make you feel like more of a demon," Hiei answered.

Kurama stared at the floor. "So that's what you think of me, then?" He flopped back over onto his back, recovered the small red thing, and flung it hard at the ceiling. It shattered, sending bright flashes of red everywhere. "I can't say I blame you."

Hiei blinked at the red bits settling all over the room. "What's that?"

"Fireflower." As the red pieces hit the ground, they revealed themselves to be tiny glowing orange-red flowers. "I like them. They smell nice."

Hiei reached over and picked up the nearest one. Which happened to be in Kurama's hair. "They smell like fire," he announced.

Kurama shrugged as well as he could. "I like it."

"Why do you like fireflowers?" Hiei found himself asking. "Don't you do plants?"

"They are plants," Kurama retorted.

"...but they're fire."

"Try burning one."

Hiei extracted yet another flower from Kurama's hair and glared at it. Nothing happened. "...the fuck?"

"They won't burn," Kurama said after Hiei had resorted to poking the flower gingerly to see what would happen. "They're fire, but they don't burn."

"Hn." Hiei quietly replaced the two flowers in Kurama's hair. When he took his hand back, a strand of red hair had been caught in his fingers. "Why are you staying here still? With the humans?"

"What do you mean?" Kurama inquired.

Hiei looked impatient. "You want to be a demon again, don't you? All this..." He gestured at the plants curling up around the walls with one hand. "Don't you want to go home, just a little?"

"Hiei..." Kurama shook his head, laughing. "I can't believe you of all people is asking me about homesickness."

"Can't you?" Hiei replied.

Kurama gave him a long, considering look from over the ex-table. "I wonder."

"You didn't answer my question," Hiei said after a moment. "Don't you want to go home?"

"I want..." Kurama stopped, then pulled himself up to sit on the couch as well. "I want to go back and steal the greatest treasures in the world out from under their noses," he said softly. "I want to be in love. I want to know what blood tastes like when you've just killed someone again. I want to get into a good university. I want...I do want to go home. I'm just not too sure where home is any more. I'm a Kurama-Shuuichi mix-up these days."

"Are you really?" Hiei wondered.

"Hmm?"

"What's keeping you here?" Hiei finally burst out, sitting up and facing Kurama in one movement. "Why the hell are you staying here? You're not like them! You're not human! And everyone says you're redeemed and recovered and you've gone from being the worst of demons to the best of humans, but you're not." Hiei reached over and grabbed Kurama's left hand. Prying it open to reveal the recent cuts from gripping a thorned rose too tightly, he stared up at the redhead. "It's demon blood running through your veins."

"...why are you so angry at me?" Kurama finally replied quizzically.

"Youko! Always so dense!" Hiei rolled his eyes at the ceiling. "Why are you staying here?" he asked, his fingernails digging into Kurama's wrist.

Kurama looked rather thrown. "You've asked me that three times now, and I still don't know."

"It used to be for your human mother. You owed her a debt. I get that. I don't like debts either. Don't you think your debt is paid yet?" Hiei demanded, sounding frustrated.

"No, not really," Kurama answered after a moment of thought. "I don't think I have...yet."

"Hn. Why didn't you just say so?"

"You didn't ask."

"..." Glare.

Kurama burst out laughing. "You'd be Jaganshi Hiei even without this thing," he informed the fire demon, tapping the bandanna.

Hiei flinched away. "I don't trust you near my eyes, kitsune."

"I'm sorry," Kurama said.

"I'd heard," Hiei retorted.

"No, no, you don't understand me," Kurama said impatiently. "I'm not saying I'm sorry for myself for doing something that stupid to you. I'm saying...what am I saying?" Kurama looked vaguely pensive. "You know, an apology really isn't anything more than vocalised self-pity."

"Which would be why I don't," Hiei pointed out.

"Very true. So why are you still here?"

Hiei gave him an odd look. "Why do you think?"

"I don't know. That's why I'm asking," Kurama explained. "Why are you spending so much time in the Ningenkai?"

Hiei shrugged. "Why not?"

Kurama's eyebrows rose. He then lifted his free hand and waved it around in front of Hiei's face. "Hello? Who are you and what did you do to Hiei?"

"You ask why I'm here as though I were hanging around humans all the time," Hiei retorted. "Do you see me hanging around humans?"

Kurama tapped himself on the chest. "Hi."

"You don't count," Hiei replied dismissively. "Didn't we go over this?"

"Sort of," Kurama replied with a sigh. "But seriously. Why all this sudden interest?"

Hiei looked annoyed. "What, am I not allowed to be around other demons all of a sudden? Or are you going to pull another mood swing into your angsty human phase? Because then I'm leaving."

"Never mind," Kurama said with a sigh. "I think you're missing the point."

"What point is this?" Hiei asked cluelessly. "I hate talking," he added in an undertone."

"Why did you kiss me?" Kurama asked.

Hiei stared. "I was under the impression that you initiated it."

"And I was under the impression that you weren't at all opposed," Kurama shot back.

"Well, what else am I supposed to do?" Hiei burst out. "I've been living a normal life up until now, offing other demons, stealing shit, being avoided and feared, all that stuff. And then you come along."

"Hiei. I'm going to ask you a question. And please, please don't kill me. Just answer it. And don't lie. Please?" Kurama said after a long pause.

"...?"

"Have you ever had sex?"

Hiei turned very white, then just as rapidly turned a brilliant magenta. "What?!"

Kurama winced slightly, though whether it was from Hiei's reaction or Hiei's iron hold on his wrist with burning fingers was unknown. "Well?"

"No!" Hiei choked out. "What the fuck?"

Kurama looked rather sheepish. "Well...I'm...well, I'm a youko," he said. "It's a bit hard to contemplate, virginity. Even though I haven't gotten any in years," he muttered. "Stupid human morality."

Hiei nearly had a cardiac and died on the spot. "What the...?"

"You asked for a demon Kurama...you got it?" Kurama offered.

"That wasn't what I meant!"

"Ow," Kurama said pitifully, tugging at his wrist.

Hiei relaxed his grip somewhat, though the temperature of his fingers didn't go down. "What is with all this asking about sex?"

"I'm not planning to shag you up against a wall right now," Kurama replied instantly. "Don't worry."

Hiei's expression stated clearly that not only had he not considered this, but that he probably wouldn't have minded it if it actually had deigned to happen.

Kurama started looking longingly at Hiei's sword and wondering how many stabs it would take to kill himself. "I've never been like that. I've got...scruples," he finished.

"And I'm the Forbidden Child," Hiei reminded him.

"Do you even know how to have sex?" Kurama asked without thinking. "Ow! Ow!" he screeched when Hiei's eyes went very wide and his Flaming Death Grip (tm) intensified yet again on Kurama's wrist.

"Shut up," Hiei said dispassionately, and kissed him.

"...what was that?" Kurama breathed.

"It shut you up," Hiei said with a shrug.

"Do you think you could burn the skin off my other wrist now?" Kurama inquired politely.

"Hmm?" Hiei finally released Kurama's wrist and turned it over in his fingers. It was wrapped in a burn mark the exact shape of his hand, with bloody welts where he'd been digging his fingernails in. "..."

"I think you need some kind of temperature regulation device," Kurama informed him. "And duck."

Hiei flopped off to the side and narrowly missed being walloped by a large vine that had plunged itself through the wall and was twining itself around Kurama. "What was that for?"

"I need my wrist," Kurama said plaintively. "Therefore healing it would be in my best interest." He broke off a piece of the vine, crushed it easily in his palm, and began rubbing it around his wrist. The burn marks hissed and began retreating in on themselves.

Abruptly there was a loud crashing noise, followed by Kurama vaulting off the couch and skidding into the hallway. "Shit! Shit shit shit!"

Hiei sat there and blinked for a second. "What the fuck?"

"Stop moving!" Kurama yelled from the foyer.

Hiei grabbed his sword and hauled arse out of there.

And stared.

And then began laughing his arse off.

...there ought to be a side comment here, but the obvious ones were also the severely traumatising ones.

Yusuke was suspended upside down from the ceiling, Kuwabara was bashing away at the plant that had stuck him to the door, and Botan was beating the life out of some poor bush that was timidly nudging her ankles.

"Stop laughing, you fucking midget!" Kuwabara bellowed. "How'd you get in without going through all this, huh?"

Hiei bit back a snicker. "I didn't go through it." He then continued to corpse with laughter.

Kurama was simply sitting on the floor, his head resting on one palm. "When you're all finished...?"

"Get! It! Away!" Botan shrieked, whacking at the bush yet again.

"If you stop hitting it, it'll run away," Kurama said wearily. "Kuwabara, if you hold still, it'll let you go. Yusuke...erm, try and land on your feet."

THUNK. "Right, that's it, next time anyone ever mentions a kind and gentle Kurama, I am going to laugh. Laugh, do you hear me?" Yusuke groaned.

"Hey, it stopped!" Kuwabara exclaimed, taking a step forward. "Ack!" he added when the plant came back for more. "No! Bad plant! Why is it eating my aura?"

"Because that's what it does," Kurama said, still in his rather martyred pose.

Botan had let the poor, abused bush scuttle back into the basement and went over to sit next to Kurama. "The human's still not talking."

"Tear his ears off," Kurama suggested. "Let me tell you, that works wonders. And then his fingernails. And then his teeth. And then start removing his finger and toe bones, one by one, with a piece of rusty metal. And if you're not done then – "

"Someone's holding a grudge," Yusuke grumbled. "Kuwabara, you dolt, stop moving!"

"Oh, no, not a grudge," Kurama said. "I'm just personally acquainted with their interrogator. He's worked me over a couple of times myself. That was his latest torture idea with me."

"He hasn't been able to do anything," Botan said tiredly. "He's been heavily restricted. Koenma-sama's put up wards so strong that he can barely touch the human."

"What kind of interrogation is that?" Hiei demanded.

"One I'd've liked to have had," Kurama muttered.

"..."

"Look," Botan said decisively. "I've got some news. We've got someone to go after specifically who we think might have gotten the human to...you know."

Kurama whirled around fast enough that even Hiei blinked. "You what? Who? Is it a demon or a human? I'm going to – "

"You're going to get Kuwabara out of those plants, sit down calmly with us, and listen to the information I've got for you," Botan finished.

"Oh, that," Kurama said dully. "Kuwabara, take two steps to your left, then walk forward."

"Huh? What? Okay," Kuwabara agreed. "Woo! How did that work?"

"Oh, come on," Yusuke said, climbing to his feet before Kuwabara tripped over him and hauling the taller redhead into the now-dark living room.

"Where's the light switch?" Kuwabara asked, patting the wall.

"Huh. I didn't notice it was dark," Kurama said vaguely. He stooped down, picked up a handful of fireflower seeds, and hurled them at the far wall. The room burst into murky red light.

"Where'd they come from?" Hiei asked. "Those weren't here."

"The flowers were," Kurama replied. "They form seeds once their light goes out, so they can burst into flame again."

"Hn." Hiei flopped back down onto the couch and propped his feet back up on the TV.

"May I?" Botan asked, glancing at the chair across from them.

"Please." Kurama gestured for everyone to sit, then took the spot between Yusuke and Hiei on the couch. Kuwabara was lounging against the wall behind Botan, who had dropped her oar and was looking directly at Kurama.

"We're going after Ramandai the Exterminator," Botan said simply. "Koenma-sama thinks he's been the one behind a vigilante ring involving both demons and humans. They've been wiping out a lot of the lesser demon criminals...and their clans as well. And they've been moving up. Which may be why he's going after you."

"I'm going to kill him," Kurama said casually. "What else?"

"There really isn't much else," Botan said wryly. "Koenma-sama wants you to go find him and...well, kill him."

Kurama smiled.

Everyone scooted away from the youko a bit. Even Hiei.

"So when are we leaving?" Yusuke asked hastily.

Botan glanced out the window. "Well, Koenma-sama wanted to look up a few more things, so I think you've got a couple hours."

Yusuke heaved a sigh and got to his feet. "I'd better go. Kurama, you got your stuff back from my house? You need anything?"

"Yes and no," Kurama replied. "Thank you, though."

"Right, let's go," Yusuke announced, hauling Kuwabara out of the room.

"Go through the kitchen!" Kurama yelled at their retreating backs.

"Isn't that where – ?" Yusuke called back.

"The plants are on the other way out!"

"Right. Kitchen it is."

Botan picked up her oar and hopped on. "In two hours, then." And she promptly vanished.

Hiei and Kurama shared a long look. "I'm going to kill him," Kurama said softly. "He's going to die slow and die screaming."

Hiei smiled just as widely as Kurama had just a few minutes before.

The moment was promptly broken by Yusuke hissing audibly from outside, "Did you see? Couldn't you see how they look at each other?"

"I can't see that far down."

"Aaagh, Kuwabara! Don't you see though?"

"...not really."

"What about the way Kurama stands, huh? You can see him, right?"

"I don't make a habit of staring at Kurama's...uh..."

"But it makes so much sense!" Yusuke wailed, flailing.

Kurama poked his head out the window. "What's wrong with the way I stand?"

"Ack!" Yusuke promptly grabbed Kuwabara and ran hell-for-leather down the road.

Kurama stared at their trail of dust, all previous bloodlust put aside for curiosity. "What the hell is it with everyone and the way I stand?"


Fluffy: Yes, we're still going on about the way he stands. Check it out sometime. Compare it to Otogi from YGO. Laugh. Oooh, and the [1]? We owe Bear much :3 for randomly coming up with jewelweed. Woot.

Kerei Kitsune: Yay indeed!

Liviania: O.o;;

Henrika: Sorrysorry! Feel free to skip any and all shounen-ai – it won't interfere with the plot if you do. Thanks!

HieilovesBotan: [blush] Thank you!

Higashikaze: [shrug] The mind boggles?

Duel: Hey, for everyone for whom shounen ai is not thy cup of....preferred beverage, we apologise and hope that it won't interfere with the storyline! And review!