Fate: Uh....hi? Yeah. We're back.
Disclaimer: I'm busy watching the Red Sox win. I'm even not doing my not-really-due-anyway homework. Ta now.
the touch of flesh
"You're really taking this demon thing seriously."
"Someone just killed my human mother. I'm feeling a little threatened."
"That's very understandable." Sigh. "I miss her too, you know."
"I thought you might."
"You're quite perceptive. D'you think you could let me down from the ceiling now? I know I was carrying physics books, but I'd think since you requested it, you'd not call it a crime punishable by death."
"Try to land on your – " WHAM " – feet?"
"Now he tells me." Yoshiko sat up amidst a pile of books. "Right then. You want all your homework over the past how many days done in how many hours?"
"Past three days, in school tomorrow?"
"Right you are." Yoshiko hauled out a small black planner and a cell phone from amidst the piles of the books. "I've got five girls who can copy your handwriting flawlessly, plus of course myself. I'll handle the calculus and chemistry. I'm sticking Yomuru with the physics."
"That's cruel," Kurama said appreciatively. "Is this just because she sparkles?"
"She calls you Shuu-Shuu-chan."
"...point taken." Kurama twiddled with one of the book covers as Yoshiko made five quick phone calls. "This is extraordinarily illicit," he finally pointed out.
"I'm supposed to care why?" Yoshiko raised one eyebrow, then went back to her final phone conversation. "Uh huh. All the English. Even the English to Japanese. Yes, I know that's harder. Dearest, you have all night. I'm sorry, his night's just booked solid and I can't let his grades get so out of hand." There was a high-pitched screech from the other end of the line, adding lovely sound effects to Kurama's valiant attempt to grab the phone away from Yoshiko. "Oh, of course it's not that, dearest. Now, what could possibly give you that idea?"
Kurama dropped his head into his hands and began muttering about annoying, nosy fire demons who inexplicably vanished and left him alone with his evil scheduling director and lots of physics homework.
A soft beep signified that Yoshiko had just won her argument. "So something tells me you're not going to be in school tomorrow."
"No, probably not," Kurama agreed.
"Why, pray tell?"
"Revenge can take a while, if you're doing it right."
"So it's like that." Yoshiko looked uncomfortable. "You know, sometimes you scare me."
"Only sometimes?" Hiei drawled from the door. "Some demon you are."
"Jesus!" Yoshiko yelped, whirling to her feet and taking an involuntary step back. "You scared the shit out of me!"
Kurama was meanwhile corpsing with laughter. "How much time do I have?" he asked.
Hiei looked completely oblivious to the question.
"Are you trying to look innocent?" Yoshiko demanded, getting to her feet and heading for the window. "I'm going out this way," she added. "Am I going to land on anything nasty?"
Kurama examined the window impassively. "Mmm...how are you with solid pavement?"
"I've fallen off my balcony before," Yoshiko pointed out.
"And blood-sucking plants?"
"Now that could be problematic."
"Might want to go out the kitchen window," Kurama suggested.
"Mmm. Where are you going tonight, anyway?"
"Not the faintest," Kurama replied cheerily. "Right, I want a shower before I'm packed off back home for Inari knows how long."
"You know, I think the reason the girls love you is that they see their narcissism reflected in you," Yoshiko hypothesized. "I'll see you when you get back and all." With this unceremonious statement, she quickly vanished out the kitchen window.
"You keep scaring her," Kurama said woefully, rising to his feet. "I'll be back. If the others show up, at least count to five before telling them to piss off."
Hiei glared at Kurama's back as the redhead tossed his hair and strode out of the room. This is fucking ridiculous. I am going to fucking scream fucking bloody murder if this doesn't fucking get cleared up. Hiei considered taking his sword out and hacking the TV into small pieces, but then decided it a waste of a sharpened sword. I'm not going to be jerked around, dammit! I'm doing nothing I wasn't doing before! Fuck it, I'm being nice putting up with the 'friend' tag. Why am I even being that nice?
...well, wait, this doesn't have to count as being nice. This falls neatly under the realm of exploitation of youko partner for sex.
Except for the whole I'm-the-one-being-exploited bit. Which I find myself allowing. And the whole lack of sex. Which I've never had anyway and have no real reason to start adopting as a pastime. Not to mention that the whole deal seems like it could be really bad on my part. I have no guarantee that I'll be getting anything out of this! Anything!
Now if only the treacherous little voice in his head that said it liked taking gambles, making out, and generally tried to get him killed would shut the hell up, his logic would be completely infallible.
It also didn't help that the little voice was making lots of suggestions in response to Kurama being in the shower upstairs. In fact, it was driving Hiei very close to the fine line between relatively harmless though lethal Hiei and NAR I BURN THINGS Hiei.
Hiei finally ripped the bandanna off his forehead, incinerated it on the spot, and tossed the ashes aside without a word before storming up the stairs. He then flung himself irritably into Kurama's room, took up residence on the floor, and spent the next two minutes tossing a handful of fire back and forth between his hands as he sulked.
Kurama stuck his head around the door, red hair slicked to his temples and sticking up in the manner of one who hurriedly used a towel to try and get far too much hair dry in far too little time. "Something for you?"
Hiei glared. And it wasn't one of his garden-variety normal glares, either.
"...er. What'd I do?" Kurama ventured.
Hiei went back to playing with fire, looking thoroughly annoyed.
"Oh well," Kurama said airily. "Must not be that important." He wound around the door and somehow managed to end up in the closet. "I honestly can't keep wearing my uniform to these missions," he mused absently. "I keep wrecking them and having to buy more. That, and I think I need to be inconspicuous, and bright purple just isn't that."
Hiei glared at the handful of fire.
"Aaaaand you really don't care," Kurama surmised. "Why am I not surprised?"
Hiei clenched the hand holding the fire closed, but still didn't speak. Surprise surprise.
"You seem to be missing a strip of cloth from your usual attire," Kurama pointed out.
"It burned."
"What," Kurama said, "did I do? No, wait, that obviously involves an explanation. Pity."
Hiei glared again, slamming his anger down hard enough behind his eyes that the now-exposed Jagan kicked in with a vengeance.
"Ow!" Kurama complained, one hand pressed to his forehead. "What'd I do to you?!"
"I need a reason to be unkind?" Hiei inquired.
"To me, yes!"
"What makes you so special?" Hiei demanded, shooting to his feet.
Kurama, wincing in pain though he was, managed to look inspired. "Aha."
"What?"
"I think you liiiiiiiike me and it's pissing you off. Ow! Are you ever going to turn that thing off?"
"No. Shut up."
"You know, this isn't going to make for much of a partnership," Kurama mused. "I was somewhat hoping for your assistance tonight."
"What, you need me to fight your battles for you?" Hiei sneered.
Kurama shivered suddenly. "I was thinking more along the lines of a diversion. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get dressed before I die of hypothermia."
Hiei promptly buried his face in his hands with a muttered oath. "...stupid fucking exhibitionist sex demon who just can't shut – what is it now?!" he demanded, looking up sharply when Kurama tapped him on the head.
"You're the second person today to mistake me for a sex demon," Kurama said thoughtfully, tugging at the waistband of his pants. Which happened to look a lot like leather. "Why is that?"
Hiei replied with an inarticulate noise of frustration. "Be happy with the fact that you are the only living soul on this earth who has annoyed me to this extent and still lives!"
"Ooo, drama," Kurama retorted wickedly.
Hiei flicked his sword out, grabbed it by the end, and sent it end over end into the wall. He then flung himself back against the opposite wall hard enough that both his shoulders cracked before he slid to the ground. And glared some more.
"If I apologise, you'll kill me," Kurama surmised, struggling into a transparent shirt. Sadly, the weather propelled him to start retrieving more layers. "Then again, I should be thankful that you haven't killed me before this."
"I'm not one of your toys," Hiei finally said. If Kurama hadn't known better, he would have identified a sizable note of hurt among the partially restrained anger emanating from the corner.
Kurama looked over at him with a rueful smile. "I'm scared, you know. This is all new to me."
"Wasn't it you explaining how you couldn't imagine being a virgin? Or was that some other daft youko?" Hiei said acidly.
"Let's not talk about sexual prowess," Kurama said, waving it off as he turned back to the closet. "Let's talk about how we've both spent hundreds and hundreds of years being amoral sodding bastards who like killing people and – in my case – boinking anything that moves just for the fun of it. And maybe offing them afterwards for the fun of it again. This whole prior relationship thing puts a nasty new spin on it. And possible continuing relationship, in case it's that good."
Hiei barely even twitched. "You sure it's worth it?"
"Now that's a dangerous question." Kurama turned back to Hiei with the trademark devastating smirk all over his face. "Pity we've only got fifteen minutes or so. Then again – oh dear Inari, you're either going to kiss me or kill me, and I think maybe it's the latter," Kurama said involuntarily as Hiei rose to his feet and stalked over.
"You," Hiei said emotionlessly, "are possibly the most idiotic, dense, and unrealistic youko I've ever met in my life. And I did meet Riana."
"You met Riana?" Kurama inquired.
"You just missed the point," Hiei observed, grabbing Kurama's shoulders and jerking the redhead violently forward before kissing him. Hard. "Every time you act that dense, I'm shutting you up like that," Hiei added. "Because nothing else works."
"That is not incentive for me to act intelligent," Kurama pointed out. Three eyes looked at him. That, and one hell of a ravenous grin. "Or are you about to explain your reasoning and defy all the laws of life?"
"I don't explain," Hiei shot back, before grabbing Kurama's shoulders and kissing him again. "I'm just getting something out of your idiocy."
Kurama put one hand over Hiei's mouth to stop him for a second. "Turn that thing back on," he said, nodding towards the third eye, which was flickering around being half-open.
Hiei blinked, then very slowly complied.
And found himself being kissed. Very hard. With some very emotions that definitely weren't his own pounding at the back of his head.
Ah. I'm not sure whether he's being intelligent or stupid, Hiei thought hazily. And right now, I'm not at all sure I care. Though it would make sense that all his intelligence would be diverted to...why the fuck am I bothering to logically reason this out?
And that would be the striking difference between Hiei and Kurama, right there.
Meanwhile, Botan flew up to the window, screeched to a halt, and found herself presented with an inadvertent free show.
"My," she remarked to herself, weighing her options. She could just blissfully sit there, gawk a bit, and probably not get killed by two irate demons who didn't seem to have any intention of stopping any time soon, or...she could realize that she was running short on time and Kuwabara was starting to get curious as to why she was just sitting there by the window.
"What's going on up there?" the aforementioned swordsman yelled up.
"Nothing terribly productive," Botan said truthfully, knocking on the window, then yanking her hand back before a vine could snatch it and devour it. "Kurama, your safeguards are ridiculous!" she shouted through the glass.
Hiei stalked over and threw the window up, looking extremely put out. "What now?"
"Is he wearing leather?" Botan demanded, craning to look behind the fire demon. "Ooo."
Hiei did not look at all pleased. "When did you get the idea that I share things?"
"When did you start wearing Ningenkai clothing?" Botan asked, putting her hands on her hips and taking a good long look. "Scratch that, when did you start wearing clothing that fit at all?"
Hiei turned and stormed away from the window wordlessly, Jagan shifting restlessly all the while.
"Now you've torn it. He'll sulk for hours," Kurama said with a sigh, climbing over the windowsill. "This is turning out to be very difficult," he added plaintively to Botan.
"Ooo," said Botan wisely. "What'd he need the Jagan for? Did something happen here?" she inquired, her brain finally moving away from cute boys.
Kurama looked vaguely smug. "Ah...well, that depends on what you mean by 'something'."
"Are you wearing leather?" Yusuke called up. "I knew it! I knew something was going on!"
"It was all I had that was relatively dark," Kurama continued, looking slightly perplexed. "Why is everyone making a fuss out of it?"
A loud cracking signified that Hiei had finally wrenched his sword out of the wall. This was followed by said demon partially climbing over Kurama and jumping down to the pavement.
"How did that get stuck in the wall?" Botan asked in a hushed voice.
"I think the original idea was to belt it at me, but I think he changed his mind," Kurama said idly. "I seem to be doing an excellent job of pissing him off today. Far more than usual."
"Want a ride?" Botan found herself offering. It was that or start saying really strange things, like "Squee!" or "W00t!" or "Wai!". Which was confusing in the extreme.
"Don't trouble yourself," Kurama replied, sliding off the windowsill and dropping to the ground.
"Took you long enough," Yusuke said, looking wise.
"My apologies," Kurama told him. "I was trying to find something that would allow me to be a little less conspicuous than I usually am."
Everyone looked at Kurama.
"With the hair, the crazy aura, and the leather pants, I think you could only possibly blend in at a nightclub," Botan said frankly.
Kurama shrugged. "As long as it's a Makai nightclub, I really don't care."
"Did I mention the aura? Definitely a Makai nightclub," Botan confirmed. "Anyway, do any of you have a plan? I figured I'd ask before we go."
"We?" Yusuke asked. "You're coming with us?"
"...er, yes," Botan replied. "Is this an issue?"
Hiei was wearing an expression that clearly said, Kill me now. "You're wearing pink," he added.
"That's what Aven Vincent said," Botan replied serenely. "He took me along anyway." She quietly left out his screaming reluctance, of course.
"I don't know how well we'll be able to protect you," Yusuke said dubiously.
"I'm copping out for battles," Botan answered cheerily. "But something tells me I'm the one with the plan here."
"Plan? We need a plan?" Kuwabara inquired.
There was a long pause as the four boys all looked at each other blankly. "Well, I've said it before, but Yusuke's method is mostly blind luck and bravery that borders on idiocy," Kurama pointed out gently.
"Well then," Botan said decisively. "I'm coming, because I have a plan."
"You know, that might help us a bit," Kurama pointed out.
Yusuke hesitated. "Well, we've never really used a plan before...something might go wrong..."
"Well, we've used small plans," Kuwabara added. "It might work."
"I also have an idea as to where Ramandai is," Botan said apologetically.
"That's it, we're taking her," Kurama decided. "So where is he?"
Fluffy: We need to re-upload Elusive Illusion, because the ending formatting went...strange. But you should go read it anyway.
Mare Serenitas: Aww. That made me happy.
Liviania: I'm starting to be obsessed with his stance, just because Yusuke is!
KuramaKitsuneGirl: Thanks. grin Thanks for all the reviews!
Henrika: The plot unfolds next chapter. This chapter is hopelessly fluffy. But Yoshiko shows up, and she amuses me.
Crystal Koneko: Heh. Heh heh heh heh heh...
Higashikaze: I do feel bad for the bush.
SweetMisery: It's not so much the liking as the continuous relationship....
Shadow Dragon: Oh good. grin
okay, you get the idea, so keep reviewing! we heart you!
