(disclaimer) so not ours. really.
::the taste of filth::
"Nnn," Hiei muttered, blinking and struggling to sit up. "Sword," he muttered, feeling for said object. "Where..."
"We appear to be in a dungeon," said a muffled voice. "There are no less than three demons undressing you with their eyes, there are amazing amounts of seals between us and freedom, we've been stripped of weapons, my magic doesn't work, I couldn't grow a thing outside of this cage even if I had anything to grow, and my shiny thing is gone."
The gnome that lived in Hiei's brain and threw the adrenaline switches went into Oh Fuck We're Screwed mode. "I'm where? What the hell? Urameshi, this is officially the – "
As you can tell, Hiei had an automatic response for these sorts of deals.
"I'm just going to hope that you mistook me for Yusuke because your eyes hadn't adjusted," Kurama said softly. "Because if you're delusional, we're in a hell of a lot more trouble than I'd hoped we are."
Hiei whipped around to behold a rather familiar-looking redhead curled up in the corner. "Ramandai was here a little while ago," Kurama continued, his voice still sounding oddly muted. "He said he was only leaving me alive just because he thought it would be more amusing this way. I'm getting to be a bit worried. Why are you glaring at me like that?"
"And you're waiting to make an escape attempt why?" Hiei demanded.
Kurama held up what was left of his hands gravely. "I'm very glad the wounds were cauterized. I'm not sure I have much skin left, though. This is just from going within a few inches of the barrier. I don't know if I can touch it."
"This is ridiculous. I'm leaving," Hiei complained, rising to his feet and looking distastefully at the muck around his feet. "No fucking prison in any world can hold me."
"This one seems to be doing a damn good job," Kurama noted drily. "Go on, give it a go."
Hiei stalked over and shoved his hand through the bars. "It feels like fire," he said wonderingly as the bars began to exude red sparks. "Jesus!" he screeched, yanking his hand back.
"What?" Kurama demanded.
"Something just licked my hand!" Hiei snarled.
"Yes, I did," agreed a small bat demon fluttering outside the cage. "You taste of human."
Hiei's free hand clenched as the other shot through the bars with a gout of flame. "That's all your fault, right there," he added over his shoulder at Kurama.
The redhead wrinkled his nose. "Lovely. You've just created a whole new air freshener. Vaporized bat."
"If I had my sword, I wouldn't be exhausting my magic like this!" Hiei complained.
"You can use your magic," Kurama observed. "I can't. I also can't even get close to the bars. Are you finding this as strange as I am?"
"Maybe you're just that weak in your human body," Hiei contributed.
Kurama sat up a little straighter. "It's aimed at me, idiot."
"What, you think you're that important?" Hiei asked skeptically.
"He seems to be exceedingly willing to let you just walk out of here," Kurama pointed out. "But I thought he was after..."
"After me," Hiei finished shrewdly. He whirled and grabbed the bars again. "I could break these," he said wonderingly.
"But even if the bars aren't there, I can't get past it," Kurama remarked.
Hiei put his hands out through the bars and stared with all three eyes at it. "There's something about this barrier...I don't like it."
"Interesting reaction there," said another voice. "You don't like being told you smell of human, do you?"
Hiei jerked his hands back into the cage and glared. "If you try and lick me, I'll torch you here and now," he snapped at Ramandai.
Meanwhile, Kurama quietly flopped over onto the ground and stopped moving. "I'd like to have a private conversation," Ramandai said.
"I can hear you!" a toothy demon with large ears sing-songed from across the room.
Ramandai snapped the fingers on one hand, then went back to talking to Hiei as the demon across the room burst into flame and began to expire quite noisily. "I have something of a proposition for you."
"Talk," Hiei snapped.
Ramandai laughed. "So forward. It's what makes me desire you so much."
Hiei stared at him. "You what?"
"I will give you your freedom if you give me yourself," Ramandai said simply. "For the rest of our lives."
"That sounds like a contradiction in terms, right there," Hiei pointed out.
"You will be free to do as you wish," Ramandai replied carelessly. "I'll just own your body. You see, you have a very interesting take on fire. You use it, but your heritage gives you other gifts. And yet...sometimes you won't even bother to do that. I have stripped you of your weapons for one reason, and that reason is to make you use what I want in you." He smiled. "I want fire. I want you. Make me an offer."
Hiei warily stuck one hand through the bars. "Here's what I think of your deal."
Ramandai took his one hand in his multi-clawed ones. "Yes?"
"I'd tell you to go fuck yourself, but I'm going to be incinerating you, so that won't be a possibility!" Hiei snarled, fire starting up around his hand and dark energy collecting around his third eye.
"Go ahead and burn me," Ramandai said coolly. "I'll quite enjoy it...Hiei."
Hiei almost involuntarily jumped back from the bars of the cage, his third eye still wide open and glowing. "You manipulate fire," Hiei said as the Jagan fed him information. "You sacrificed a hundred fire demons for your power." He grinned. "You're ambitious. I like that."
"Do you like it enough to come with me?" Ramandai asked, toying with the lock.
Hiei gave it some thought. "Meh, no."
"You don't even like touching me," Ramandai said mournfully.
"I'm not a people person," Hiei pointed out.
Ramandai's eyes darkened. The lock under his claws began melting and running onto the muddy ground. "But you'll let that trash in the corner touch you," he observed.
Hiei's eyes narrowed. "I'm just amazed that you want me instead of him," he retorted.
Ramandai slapped a seal onto where the lock had been. "He's grateful for the cauterizing? Well, there won't be any next time. That is, if I let him breathe again."
Hiei glanced over at Kurama. "He's not breathing?"
"I do my job well, don't you think?" Ramandai inquired. "He's surely unconscious by now and unlikely to wake up, given that human body. He won't have heard a thing from our conversation."
How long does a human live without air? screamed the panicky gnome in Hiei's mind. Hiei's self-preservation instincts told the gnome to shove it and go back to playing with the adrenaline. "You're a fiend for privacy?"
"Only sometimes," Ramandai replied sweetly. "Sometimes I like being out in the open."
Hiei detected squicky subtext, having been well trained by a rather deprived youko. "Er."
"I think I shall simply keep him without air until he dies," Ramandai said thoughtfully, looking over at Kurama's lifeless body. "A demon in a human's body...I'm curious to see how long it will be before he asphyxiates."
Hiei really wasn't curious at all. "Or you could just declare this conversation over," he suggested.
"You want him alive, don't you." Ramandai examined him coolly. "Well, I'll humor you for now, I suppose." Razor smile. "Be well aware that I could just take you. I'm being...kind? Yes, I suppose kind would be the word. I'm being kind by letting you have a choice." He snapped his fingers idly, then sauntered back into the gloom.
Kurama woke up with a painful gasp of air followed by a near-convulsive coughing fit. "I can't...I can't...can't breathe..."
Completely oblivious, Hiei stared after Ramandai with a studiously blank expression. I wish I had my sword. So help me, if that...that thing touches me again, I don't care how immune he is to it, I'm using everything I have to take him out. Now, how do I deal with these bars? He melted the lock with fire, and I seem to be more or less immune to the seals...they seem to be mostly directed at Kurama. I wonder if... Hiei's thoughts went into a highly technical direction from there.
Never let it be said that Hiei is at all unintelligent on matters of escapism.
While Hiei was busily calculating his escape, Kurama was busily hacking up a lung.
"Pretty..."
Whipping around with a pained wheeze, Kurama slashed at the hand trying to feel him up. "Touch me and I'll – " his breathless threat dissolved into a scream when his already-raw hand hit the barrier. He jerked his now-bleeding hand to his chest reflexively and scrambled away from the edge of the cage. "How can you reach in?" he demanded raspily. God...my throat...my eyes...can't see straight... "Don't fucking touch me!"
"I'll touch you all I want, pretty..." said the bearer of the hand. It happened to be a lanky-haired, ribby-winged demon that was free of a cage but had heavy collars and chains around its neck, wrists, and ankles. "He can keep me here but he can't keep me tamed. Besides," it hissed, "while you were unconscious, he told us that any of us who got free could have you for ourselves...if he didn't kill you first." It licked its lips. "And a reward for the one who can get you away from that one."
Kurama stared blankly at the demon. "Can you get me out of here?"
"What, are those wards just too much for you?" the demon inquired.
Glaring, Kurama pointed out, "They're aimed specifically at me, to nullify everything I am known to do. While I'm stripped of my powers and bleeding to death, I really can't escape. But you can get in from the outside. How do you do that?"
"Anyone that can resist fire can go through," the demon said with a laugh. "We all tried, pretty, while you were out."
Kurama looked with disgust at his bleeding hand. "Without my seeds or any real magic other than a touch for botany, I can't make this body fire-resistant."
The demon smiled. "I'll bend the bars apart and pull you through if you want," it offered.
Kurama shot another look at his hand. "My whole body will end up like this."
"You want to hang around until Ramandai gets done with you, pretty?" The demon's voice lowered. "He's been looking for that fire demon for a long time. Ever since he joined up with you. I've been here a while. Ramandai hates you, pretty...and he definitely wants you to know it," it added with a toothy smile. "I'd ruin my body to get free if I were in your position. Then again, I'm not so pretty."
"I'll give you anything to get me out of here," Kurama said. "While I'm under these seals, I can't do a thing. I have to get out of this cage."
The demon laughed. "While you're in the cage, you're helpless. I like you better that way, pretty." It put its clawed hands on the bars and started bending them apart. "I suppose I'll have some fun trying to get out of this, if it's as bad as you say...but I think it'll be worth it. Don't you, pretty?"
Kurama scrambled backwards again, his non-bleeding hand plunged deep into the muck and searching. "If you come inside, you come within my abilities, limited though they are right now. Want to chance it?"
"I'll give it a go," the demon said cheerily, stepping through the bars and into the muck of the cage.
Kurama's eyes darkened as his fingers tightened over their find. "You're a fool." He grinned, wild and reckless.
"I am? Yeah, yaaaargh!" The demon's denial turned into a squawk of pain as mossy vines shot up from the ground and plunged straight through its throat and chest. Kurama made a hazy flick with his bloody hand that sent the demon straight into the seals, where it promptly caught on fire with a shriek.
"Would you stop making so much noise?" Hiei demanded, whipping around and stomping over. "Oh. Wait. That wasn't you."
Kurama blinked blearily at the other demon. "I think I'm gonna save Ramandai some trouble," he declared, and collapsed back into the mud.
Hiei shuffled a bit awkwardly for a minute, ransacked his brain on what to do in situations of random faint-of-heart-ness, then realized that such reactions were inappropriate as Kurama seemed to not only be bleeding heavily from his hands, but that he was choking on blood as well. This was much easier to deal with. He plopped down into the mud and poked at the redhead. "Wake up."
Kurama propped himself back up. "Can't you leave me alone?" he demanded, spitting blood into the gunk on the ground. "If I don't bleed to death, this gunk is going to poison me and I'll die of that. And if that doesn't work, Ramandai will come along and just keep me from breathing until I cark it. I'd rather just go quickly," Kurama said fiercely. "I gambled and I lost."
"No shit you did!" Hiei snapped. He took a deep breath, then added, "And it's your own damn fault we're in this. Stupid demons wanting to foff me."
Kurama's jaw tightened. "I. Don't. Share," he snarled.
Hiei looked mildly relieved. "That's not going to save us."
"He's been after you for a while," Kurama said. "At least since we met."
Hiei looked confused. "That was a long time ago. What kept him?"
Kurama shrugged. "I can't say for when I was younger, but maybe Yusuke scared him off if it was more recent."
Hiei looked completely disgusted. "We've been captured by a demon who's afraid of him? If that's true, my life is in complete disgrace. I blame you in full."
"You were the one that could have gotten away!" Kurama yelled. "You ran! You weren't as stupid as me. You knew when you might have been outmatched and you got out of the way!" He coughed, then continued, "Why didn't you get away?"
"I, er, you're too useful, so I wasn't pleased with leaving you there to get your sorry ass abducted," Hiei shot back. "He looked up at me, and then I woke up here," he added.
Kurama looked away. "You could get out, you know," he added, nodding at the prised-open bars. "The barrier isn't meant for you. You should go. At least go and kill that pyromaniac out there."
Hiei looked at the open space, then back at Kurama. The redhead was studiously ignoring Hiei and paying close attention to his hands. "No."
Kurama looked up at him. "What the hell? Are you being mind-controlled? You have a chance to get out of here! Why aren't you taking it? What's wrong with you? You're being almost altruistic!" This last word was uttered with complete and utter awe.
Hiei stared for a long minute at Kurama. "You stupid fucking idiot," he said quietly. "You just don't get it, do you?"
"Er?" Kurama blinked.
Hiei sighed, then quietly leaned over and kissed Kurama. It wasn't one of those shut-up-before-I-hurt-you kisses either. He was good at that. This was completely new territory, because it went with being nice, but he gave it a go anyway.
"You taste like blood," Hiei said softly.
"Human or demon?" Kurama inquired.
"You fucking idiot," Hiei retorted, and kissed him again. You don't get it, do you...?
I don't care...I don't care what you are... Stop, gasp for breath, wait for Kurama to stop coughing so spasmodically, start again. Lick the blood off the other's face. All I care about is who you are... He closed his eyes. You matter...and I don't know why...
"Motherfucking human scum!" Aven Vincent slammed the man into the wall, dropped him to the ground, and jumped onto his chest. "You think we don't know you're involved? You think we don't know who's got his claws into you? You think we don't know what you did? You stupid fucking human, you meddled in our affairs! You tell me now and I'll make all the pain go away. You fucking tell me and we'll keep him from killing you! You tell me now or so help me God I'll kill you and find a necro to get the truth out of your corpse!"
The man's eyes widened, then closed. "Fine," he said, sounding defeated. "Even if he kills me, you'll have the truth, then..."
"That's better," Aven Vincent said with a smile, hauling the man to his feet. "Come along, and we'll have you talking properly. No sense in you dying from what I've inflicted in the middle of a good story."
"I won't live that long," the man blurted. "Don't use a necro on me," he pleaded as they staggered out the door. "Don't use a necro on me..."
"Yeah, sure. Just start talking," Aven Vincent replied with a sigh.
"Ramandai fronts himself as a vigilante just so he can own the castle," the man said quickly. "That's not why I killed that lady, though."
"So tell me," Aven Vincent said with a toothy smile. "What possessed you to murder that human woman?"
"Ramandai would have given me a reward," the human said. "I needed the cash, and he wanted to break the redhead."
"Break the redhead?" Aven Vincent repeated.
"He said that the redhead had something he wanted, and he'd keep destroying things around him until he cracked," the man babbled. "I was supposed to kill a man too, and a human boy, but the redhead...the redhead was fucking crazy! He said he'd be a demon, but I didn't recognize him until he went fucking postal on me!" The man's voice was growing oddly faint. "You know what kind of demon Ramandai is?"
"I don't get those kinds of files," Aven Vincent said impatiently. "Keep talking, human. Gah!" he screeched, dropping the man quickly as the human's skin heated up to well beyond its normal temperature. He stared in no small amount of shock as the human burned to ashes, then turned and fled to Koenma's office.
"Koenma-sama!" he bellowed, shoving past the oni at the door and skidding into the room. "Koenma-sama! I got something! The human fucking vaporized!"
Botan, Koenma, Yusuke, George, and Kuwabara all turned to look at him. "You're a little late," Koenma said. "Kurama and Hiei stole the Ruby of Coals from Ramandai himself, but apparently he wasn't pleased with this. As far as Kuwabara's sixth sense can ascertain, they are back inside the castle and have not emerged for quite some time. A search of the of the castle has shown that they are not there. There must be a hidden level either above or below, somewhere where Ramandai could cover up all traces of their existence."
"It's all my fault," Botan moaned. "I didn't keep a close enough eye on them," she added. "I knew how fast they were, and I didn't take it into account. I'm such an idiot..."
Aven Vincent shuffled awkwardly for a moment and examined the pool of...icky things...that was forming from the stuff dripping off his clothes. "I don't think it would have helped. Ramandai wanted to destroy Kurama, because he had something that Ramandai wanted. And then the human went up in flame."
"In flame?" Koenma stared at him oddly. "Ramandai is no fire demon. His abilities mostly run to a sort of mind control. He can inspire great confidence from his followers, and do a bit of a cheap imitation of suffocating someone or knocking them unconscious with the Force."
"The Force is real?" Yusuke asked in hushed admiration.
"Yes, now do shut up," Koenma said impatiently. "Aven Vincent, Ramandai couldn't light a candle even with matches, considering the hands he's got. At least, not when we catalogued him. He might pull off a Molotov cocktail one of these days."
"He's not?" Aven Vincent stared. "The incineration of that human felt like a fire demon's magic..."
"Something Kurama has that he wants," Yusuke whispered. "A fire demon."
"He's been after Hiei," Botan realized.
Kuwabara blinked. "Since when has Kurama owned Hiei?"
Yusuke patted Kuwabara on the back. "Well, I don't think there was ever a contract of ownership, but Hiei has certainly been Kurama's bitch for a very long time. Oops," he added as Kuwabara's eyes squicked out again. "Damn. I think I just sent him to a very dark mental place by accident."
"You just sent us all to a very dark mental place!" Botan wailed.
"Erm. Sorry?"
Aven Vincent shuffled some more. "I'm not in a dark mental place, so I'm going to keep asking questions. So, uh, is this demon making Hiei do his work for him or something?"
"Did the human incineration feel like pure fire demon magic?" Koenma asked.
"Yes," Aven Vincent replied, after a bit of thought. "Sir," he added.
"Then it's not Hiei," Koenma replied. "Ramandai is just sending a message."
"Hiei doesn't do anyone's work for anyone," Yusuke put out. "Except, you know, our work. But that's different."
Everyone paused and tried to mull this over.
"Urameshi, if the price was right, Hiei would do just about anything," Kuwabara argued.
"No, that's definitely more Kurama's line of work," Yusuke shot back. "Hiei has this twisted sense of honor. Kurama just has this habit of being nice that covers up a complete lack of scruples."
"You haven't forgiven him for dropping you on your head, have you?" Botan asked suspiciously.
"Me? What? Of course I have!" Yusuke said with a broad grin. "What makes you think otherwise?"
"He looks too stupid to hold grudges," Aven Vincent observed.
Yusuke blinked at him. "Who, me? Probably!"
It was now Aven Vincent's turn to look thoroughly confused. "Sir?" he began.
"Yes?" Koenma replied.
"I, uh, I know I spend all my time in those dungeons threatening people, but it doesn't mean I'm fond of being covered in human blood and that filth," Aven Vincent began delicately.
"Go," Koenma said, noting where the conversation was going. "Go take a shower. Botan, go pick up what's left of that miserable human. Yusuke, Kuwabara, you two go back to Ramandai's castle. There are no holds barred now. Break that thing wide open, raze it to the ground, do anything to get those two back! I'm the one who pulled them out of their former lives and I'm the one who put them into this danger, and I will not let some pathetic little upstart pretending to be a vigilante kidnap, kill, and do unspeakable things to my detective team!" Koenma made a switch into his older form, slammed his fist onto the desk, and then popped back into baby form.
Everyone stared at him.
"What?" Koenma demanded. "It's more impressive when I'm bigger."
"Yes, sir," Aven Vincent said. He then scuttled from the room before he reacted in an inappropriate manner to his overlord.
Koenma looked after his interrogator, then glared at Yusuke and Kuwabara. "Step on it, boys."
"Hey, you sure you're the one who put them in this danger?" Yusuke inquired.
"Yusuke. Go."
"Seriously, don't blame yourself for it!"
"Yusuke! Get a move on!"
"I mean, it sounds like this guy's been hot for – "
"Yusuke! Do not finish that sentence, but instead go back to Ramandai's castle and go get them!" Koenma yelled.
"Hiei's not going to like being rescued by us," Kuwabara said thoughtfully. An evil smile spread across his face. "Let's go, Urameshi. I'm going to savor this."
Do you see that, ladies and gentlemen? That is a flying pig. It goes well with Kuwabara being the clear winner in this situation.
MoshuiMing: Might wanna mind the middle of the chapter then...but the rest is just flat-out random gore. Nar! :grin:
Pat: Heh, thanks.
Kerei Kitsune: Yeah, he just keeps getting angrier from here on in, methinks.
Dane Soar: Aww, thanks. :blushgrin:
KuramasKitsuneGirl: Now how did that happen? ;)
Kurama's #1 Fan: meep! I work! I work, I promise! (I'm trying to crank out the whole end before I go back to school for winter term)
Kuranga108: So many people with k names...I love demony!Kurama, and him being constantly nicer than the average human makes my logical brain go squick.
Kage Kitsune27: Sorry about the confusion. ;;
Liviania: Ain't it a change? Gotta say I'm having fun with it though. Ramandai is such a pyro.
Henrika: Ahh, the joys of having a fire-obsessed baddie. Speaking of fire...:goes to poke the wood stove:
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