"The most delicious thing in all of the nine worlds! Just wait 'til you taste it!" Yamino exclaimed.
There was a moment of silence, and Loki could just picture the confused expression on Narugami's face. "Taste it?" he finally replied. "As in, put that in my mouth? But it looks so big!" Mayura's jaw dropped and she clamped a hand over her mouth.
"Just try it," Loki's youngest son urged.
They heard Narugami snort. "…no. I don't really think I like this…"
"That's because you're not doing it right! Believe me; I'd know if you were doing it right! You'd be making all sorts of yummy noises."
Loki's eye twitched, slightly. Mayura leaned closer to the door. Eyes wide, she turned to Loki. "Loki-kun, who's in there?" she whispered.
"I think… Narugami and Yamino are… are doing something." The thought pained him. Loki made a face. Mayura grinned a pervy fangirl grin, the kind that only a rabid yaoi fangirl could possibly make.
From inside the kitchen, they heard a sigh. "Fine then. Tell me how to do it."
"Well, first of all, you're holding it wrong. Hold it down here at the base, not up here where your mouth goes."
"Sounds like they're doing something naughty!" Mayura half-whispered, sounding a bit too happy about it for Loki's taste.
"Oh! You mean like this?"
He scowled at her. "You don't need to sound so thrilled about it. It's probably something totally innocent." Yes, that was it. Narugami wasn't interested in his son, and he wasn't giving Yamino a blow job in his kitchen. That would just be ridiculous. Anybody could walk in. Nobody would do that unless they were into that sort of thing, and Thor had never been much of a sexual exhibitionist. He would know, after all.
"Mmm… yes. Now start off slowly. Take your time to savor the taste," Yamino coached.
Mayura smirked as a moan of pleasure drifted out of the kitchen. "Or not," she said cheerfully. Loki glowered at her.
"Oh wow, you're right, this does taste good!" Narugami also sounded too thrilled about it for Loki's taste.
"I'm always right about this sort of stuff. Haven't you learned that yet?"
Loki's eyes widened and his anger level began to skyrocket. Thor may not be an exhibitionist, but Loki knew next to nothing about the sexual tendencies of his own offspring. If Yamino had even half the kinks he did… "Yet? What have they been doing together? I'm going to go in there and" Mayura grabbed his shoulder.
"Noooo! I want to listen!" Mayura protested, pouting—actually pouting at him, for Odin's sake! The God of Chaos had no idea the high school girl was such a pervert. She hid it well behind her innocence and general lack of common sense. Loki didn't even think she knew what sex was. This was a bit of a shock.
"Well, it is your forte. …Say, what happens if I do this? …Ack!"
"You sucked it off! You sucked the tip right off the rest of it!" Out in the hallway, eyes widened and jaws dropped. Loki twitched, and winced. 'Ow,' he thought. Well, Thor had always been so good at sucking down mead in seconds. He supposed that if the Thunder God put his mind to it, it was possible he could do that sort of damage to various appendages.
"Well, sorry! I didn't think it was possible to suck too hard on these things."
Yamino may have growled. Or it may have been a moan of pain. Either way, it caused what little parenting instincts Loki had to kick in. "Let me go, Mayura! He's hurting Yamino-kun!"
"…I don't hear any screams of pain." She refused to let go. Loki cursed his small body, Odin, and anything else he could think of. "Let's just listen, ok? Let Yamino-kun have his fun."
He tried to kick Mayura. She held him further away. "Fun! Fun! That doesn't sound like fun! It sounds like torture! Let me go!"
Mayura shook her head and held on to him tightly, mind firmly in the gutter. "Maybe he's into that sort of thing."
"MY SON IS NOT INTO BDSM!"
The pink-haired girl blinked. "How would you know?" Loki glared and refused to dignify that with an answer.
Yamino sighed. "Well, there's still the rest of it."
"Will it taste just as good?" Narugami sounded oh so hopefully. It made Loki feel slightly homicidal.
"You bet it will! Want me to show you a trick?"
"Yeah, sure. Will it enhance the experience?"
"Yes. Here, look."
Narugami gasped. "That's sexy. And yummy looking. Let me try! … How's that?"
Someone sounded rather breathless. "You're a natural at this. You've done this before haven't you?" Mayura developed a nosebleed, but still managed to keep a good hold on Loki who was fighting to get to the door.
"Once or twice. Those were just for practice though." Loki glowered. They damn well were not 'just for practice.' It was boredom and mutual attraction, plain and simple, and he would not stand for Thor to denounce his sexual prowess to his child. Of course, he could understand the reasoning behind not telling Yamino that he'd screwed his father. Even Loki himself had never been dumb enough to tell Odin's sons that he'd been sleeping very happily with their father.
"It paid off. You're good at this."
A moment of absolute silence followed.
"NARUGAMI-SAN! That's going to be a mess to clean up!" Yamino sounded pissed.
"I didn't mean to suck the rest of it off so soon!" And Narugami sounded as though he was pleading for his life.
"You dropped half of it on my floor! My nice clean floor!"
"…it tasted really good so I got enthusiastic?"
"…y'think? It's in pieces on the floor! You broke it!" Mayura dropped Loki on the floor in shock. She'd read plenty of yaoi and that had never happened, not even in the most twisted of stories.
Loki made a break for the kitchen door before Mayura could grab him again. "What in the name of Odin is going on in here!" he demanded, as he took stock of the situation. Yamino and Narugami were seated at opposite sides of the kitchen table. Yamino had a popsicle in one hand, a mop in the other, and was glaring daggers at Narugami, who was standing guiltily by a smashed and broken popsicle on the kitchen floor.
"Loki-sama!" Yamino jumped. "I was just showing him how to eat a popsicle."
Mayura followed Loki in. "Dangit," she murmured, looking disappointed.
"What did you think we were doing?" Narugami asked Mayura suspiciously. She blushed slightly, and leaned forward to whisper in his ear, once again the picture of dorky innocence.
The Thunder God's eyes widened and he blushed. "Daidouji! You closet pervert!" He looked as though he was trying to decide whether to be surprised, angry, or amused. The looks clambering across his face were most interesting, as he decided to try to be all three at once and ended up looking like he'd been eating sour pickles covered with ferret droppings.
Yamino studied them. "What? What did you think we were doing? Loki-sama?"
Loki looked away from his son, glowering. "Nothing. You don't need to know." He grabbed Mayura's arm. "C'mon… let's go."
As soon as they were gone, Yamino looked over at Narugami, mess long forgotten. "What was that all about?"
He blushed more. "They thought… well... that I was sucking you off."
Yamino blinked. And thought about it. And blushed. "We wouldn't do that in the kitchen! Anybody could just walk in!"
"We could go upstairs and lock the door," Narugami said suggestively. Yamino gasped, shocked, and a bit intrigued.
In the hallway, there was a muffled choking sound, followed by a thump and a series of crashes. They ran to the doorway and looked out into the hall. Loki was disentangling himself from a variety of objects he'd tripped over upon overhearing Narugami's suggestion. He was enraged. "No you," he paused to pull a lamp chord off his neck. "No, you couldn't!" The diminutive god pulled a pen out of his ear. "I absolutely," he continued, pulling feathers from a duster that had gotten knocked over off of his shirt and out of his hair, "forbid this." Loki righted the table and put the lamp back on it.
"I was just kidding with that last comment, really."
"Good," Loki said, his tone making it perfectly clear that if Narugami had been serious, Instant Fatherly Wrath of Doom awaited him. And it would be painful. "You'd better have been."
Narugami laughed nervously. "Right… I have to get to work… see ya later!" And he fled.
Loki glared after him and stalked up to his office, muttering threats and curses under his breath. Yamino blinked and plucked another feather out of his father's hair and set off to clean up the mess Narugami had made as he tried not to think about all the implications... and to try to ignore the strange desire to act on them.
