Shellshocked

Chapter 10 "Voices"

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"Hold her down." Anger hissed horribly to the other emotions.

Raven's chest suddenly felt tight and painful and had difficulty breathing. Beside her was Fear, shaking visibly behind her, but the other emotions felt no threat from it, so they all left Fear alone.

"Get away from here." Raven whispered to the black cloaked emotion, trying to keep her lips as still as possible as she spoke. "No use in them catching you too."

Fear quickly clutched Raven's elbow before shutting its eyes and whimpering. Then, as quickly as it grabbed Raven, its form "melted" onto the ground in a small black puddle and disappeared.

The manipulated emotions, Smart, Timid, Brave, and Sorrow swiftly decreased the space between themselves and Raven. Love was still hanging dangling between Gross and Happy. The light pink emotion giggled happily as it tried to rock itself to make it swing, while crying out, "Whee!"

Gross and Happy grew angry from the bubbly emotions actions and dropped it on its head.

"Owww." Love whimpered while rubbing its head. "You big meanies!"

Then Love stood up and stepped in front of Gross and Happy and blew a raspberry to them both before kicking them both on the shins.

"Enough!" Anger shouted before lifting its palm and send small and narrow beam towards the giggling emotion.

"Look out!" Raven warned before Brave kicked her in the stomach that sent her to lay on all four.

Love finally stopped giggling and turned slightly serious. Love lifted its hands and summoned the raven shaped shield to reflect Anger's attack, and all with a large smile on its face.

"Love to the rescue!" Love shouted in its squeaky voice in joy as it grabbed a hold onto its hood and brought it up over its head, hiding its bubbly face in shadow. "Again."

Raven didn't have time to think, or blink for that matter, and she suddenly felt herself being thrown out of her mind. Her vision over all of her emotions suddenly zoomed away from her and became a black blur, her stomach tightened and then lifted. She felt as if she was falling, and mentally, she landed in a painful impact.

A headache grew and, even with her eyelids closed, she could see and feel the lights shining down on her. She knew to drape an arm over her eyes before she could open them. After a moment or two, she gradually sat up and examined her surrounding's, she was still in the white room.

Slowly, she stood up and stretched. Her body still felt sore and her headache was decreasing. Her throat was unbelievably dry, and she never felt so hungry.

But, luckily for Raven, laying in front of the door was a small tray of food and water. It was nothing much, it appeared to be a TV dinner with macaroni, mashed potatoes, and chicken strips. Stomach growling and mouth watering, Raven immediately sat in front of her meal and began to eat carefully, her hands were still cut and were caked in dry blood, so she used her plastic fork to grab onto everything. She left very little water to use it to clean her hands as best as she could.

Once she was done, she felt like she could really use a shower, the heat created by the lights in the room was strong enough to make her sweat, and her cloak clung on to her tighter than her leotard. But most of all, she really needed to meditate.

While things were quiet Raven levitated up and positioned herself in her usual meditation position. As soon as she found her center and was about to empty herself of emotions, there was a sharp yet annoying itch at the back of her head. It wasn't physical, she could feel it mentally.

Then, unexpectedly, Raven could hear a voice in her head. It was a soft whisper with a sinister venom tone in its voice, but the voice was obviously of her own.

What's the matter? Feeling all alone?

Raven frowned, never has any of her emotions spoken to her. Well in some occasions yes they did, but Anger was always under control and was never able to speak to her.

Where are your friends?

Raven shook her head and tried to ignore Anger, it was obviously trying to make her fuel it with emotion.

They think you're crazy. You attacked them, you nearly killed them. And now they've thrown you away just like the criminals they've captured. Criminals...that you helped capture.

Raven felt herself fall painfully down onto the dirty white tiled floor and gripped her head, tangling her fingers in her hair. But no matter what she did, or how hard she desperately tried to clear her mind, Anger's voice was still a terrible itch that she could not scratch.

"Stop....stop." She whispered, tears flooding down her pale cheeks.

They betrayed you. They've thrown you away and forgotten about you. They're probably better off without you. No one to ruin the fun, no one to creep them out.

"Stop..." Raven cried. She couldn't suppress the sobs that escaped her. She wanted to go into her mind and stop Anger's voice herself but she couldn't risk facing all her emotions, she was easily outnumbered and powered.

You have no one now.

Raven got down on all fours. Her body wasn't filled with anger anymore, the voice talking to her now was something different...something sad and depressed.

You're alone again. There's no one and nothing worth living for.

Raven inhaled deeply and waited for anything inside her stomach to come back up, but nothing came. She felt sick, never had she felt so many emotions rushing through her, nor has she heard her emotions talk to her as if she had other personalities.

Technically, now you are crazy. Hearing different voices inside one's mind has been proven to be insane.

The current voice Raven immediately identified as Smart. Since when has her mental thoughts become a punching bag for her emotions?

Let's escape and go after those friends. Let's tie them up and cut them up. Let's listen to them scream for mercy. Let's play with their blood and rub it all over. Let's feed them their own intestines.

Raven definitely felt like she was going to be sick. She didn't know what Anger and her other emotions were doing, but they were somehow sending her mental images. At first she was only able to see them if she had her eyes closed, but as she kept them open her emotions found a way to send the images to her even with her eyes open.

Suddenly, she could picture Robin, StarFire, Beast Boy, and Cyborg all around her, inside of her room. Cyborg laid in metal pieces on the floor in a corner, only his head still in tact.

StarFire's hair had been pulled out by hand. Raven then could see herself, she could feel herself there. Then, she felt a sudden urge to look down at her hands. Clumps of red hair was tangled between her fingers and she could see and feel scalp flesh under her finger nails.

Robin laid battered and maskless on Raven's bed next to StarFire, his mask stuffed deeply up in one of her nostrils, a large and disturbing bulge in his nose.

Beast Boy laid on her dresser, his small and skinny frame motionless and his green face was colored crimson, blood steadily flowed from his mouth. Then Raven's eyes widened, she noticed his exposed fang had gone missing.

Then, what made Raven nauseous was the sight of them all, their mid section exposed and cut, large holes exposed what should have been where their intestines should be. Looking up, Raven noticed bloody matter inside of their mouths...

Raven heaved and gagged but nothing came out. She couldn't stop the images that continued on.

"It's not real...not real."

They betrayed you. Now let's get even. We'll throw them in a room and laugh, they deserve it.

The telekinetic had to stop the voices, but she didn't know how. Her emotions were a part of her, she couldn't just ignore them. She couldn't even calm herself enough to enter her mind again and at least attempt to stop Anger. But then a new voice came, and its voice was not of her own.

Ha ha, what's the matter Raven? Am I too much for you? You aren't mad are you? Where's your control now, huh? You should have just died when you had the chance. There's no need for you. The other Titans love me, they need me. They don't need or want you Raven. They want ME

"STOP!" Raven screamed, but all that came out was a hoarse whisper.

Tears continued to pour down her face and dripped down onto the white and red floor. Her bloody hands tightened into fists and blood leaked out even more. She gripped her head and hair half wishing she could pull it out to rid the emotions she felt, but no matter what she did or felt, she would always fuel her emotions.

Her sobs became louder, more painful even, she found it difficult to breathe at times. Her emotions continued to whisper in her head, some were even yelling which made it twice as hard to ignore them. She desperately tried to concentrate on something else, anything. But, no matter what she thought of, her emotions always left a snide remark.

Concentrate on your breathing. She told herself.

She took a deep breath, coughed, and exhaled it out before coughing again. She gulped another mouthful of air, and exhaled roughly through her nose. Third time, she kept the air inside for a brief moment and tried counting to ten. Another breath, she thought of her infamous trio of words, Azerath, Metrion, Zinthos.

Suddenly she burst into another fit of frustrated sobs. She couldn't concentrate! The damned voices in her head was too much, she couldn't ignore them, she couldn't do anything, but listen to them. As she laid there, crying, her powers became active once more. Thankfully, for the mysterious white room that served other purposes besides locking up psychos, it also kept Raven's powers from doing as little as scratching it. Her telekinetic blasts endlessly bounced off the walls, some striking Raven. The more she cried, the more power she unleashed. The more power she unleashed, the more she got hurt. Soon her powers began to cut through her clothing and flesh. Each blast that struck her hurt terribly, she felt as if she was being torn apart piece by piece. Inside her head, she could hear her emotions laughing, Happy was obviously laughing the hardest and the most sinister.

Raven tried to stop crying, but after so many years of holding back her emotions they all wanted out. Hugging herself, Raven laid onto her side and continued to sob quietly. Despite the heat in the room she suddenly felt cold and shivered.

Suddenly, she felt a light weight brush against her body and covered her up to her shoulder. Turning, Raven's eyes widened, it was StarFire.

Her alien friend smiled warmly as her other friends, Robin, Beast Boy, and Cyborg walked into the room and encircled around Raven.

"You all...came?" Raven asked, her voice broken and weak from her sobs.

StarFire reached down and whipped away her tears and kissed her forehead. Beast Boy and Cyborg smiled widely, exposing their teeth. Robin half grinned and squatted down, placing his hand on Raven's shoulder.

Unexpectedly, Raven's friends suddenly opened their mouths wide inhumanly and laughed.

Raven's heart, and just about any other organ in her body, sunk. Her tears automatically started to fall again, and she felt colder than ever. Then, as quickly as they appeared, everyone vanished.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha, oh you should have seen the look on your face!

Laying her head down, Raven just closed her eyes and willed her body to get used to the feeling of heartbreak. She thought her heartbreak with Malchior was bad, this was worse beyond her imagining. But, wait....

Raven never knew about how to use her powers to create illusions until after she lost control of Fear, and ever since then she knew it was only that emotion that could perform that trickery power. So did that mean...

You're running out of time.

Anger's venom voice whispered, but to Raven it felt as if it was inches from her ears shouting.

I've got Fear on my side now, only a matter of time until I have that filthy Love. Honestly, what a waste of emotion, I cannot see how you could have created it.

Fear struck Raven like a hard blow to the chest. Now it was down to herself and Love against eight emotions, plus Terra. It was useless she and Love will never be able to face against them and possibly win. Whether it was Timid or Sorrow speaking, or just herself, she didn't care. She was outnumbered and powered. It was only a matter of time until she finally gave in to Anger...unless. Unless she got help. With her friends help they could easily....

No, they won't come.

Raven hugged herself tighter and lost herself in her thoughts. There was no way her friends would come, they all thought she was crazy. Not that she could blame them, she did hurt StarFire intentionally even if it was Anger controlling her body at the time.

Sighing, Raven turned her painful and bloody body onto her back and stared at the ceiling, ignoring the brightness of the lights. She didn't want to go down like this, she didn't want to give up, but what other choice did she have? She was fighting a losing battle.

They'll come.

Raven's attention turned to the squeaky voice inside her head, obviously Love found a way to speak to her.

Your friends will come. You love them, and they love you. They'll come, you just have to wait.

Fresh tears surfaced to Raven's face. How? She didn't know, she thought she cried out all moisture in her body. But, there was something different about these tears, they weren't tears of sorrow or fear, they were tears of affection. There was still little hope, and most of it depended on her friends. For now, she'll take Love's word and wait.

"Please." She whispered to no one in particular. "Hurry, I can't wait any longer."