A/N: Hey guys I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to get this chapter to you so I'm making it up to you…. with a chapter 4 times longer than the 1st and 2nd ones! Tell me if you think it's too long or just right please! Oh and I know I am too fast sometimes but I've always been like that…sorry. Anyhow I'm going to try to be slower…wish me luck Oh and constructive criticism is welcome! And Yukiko is Japanese for "Snow child" pretty isn't it? Also 'Errent la nuit' is French for 'Wandering the night' Oh and yes, emotions and thoughts are very jumbled and confusing in this chapter and probably others too and if that confuses you…apparently you haven't been through teen hood yet Anyhow, on with the story!
Oh yeah and italics are thoughts and /this/ is memories/flashbacks and is changed scenes
Chapter 3: Hagrid's House"Up Harry! Ge' up! We got things ter do today!" Hagrid said with a little shake of Harry's bed (which knocked him off).
Harry groaned as he woke up to the sudden cold hardness of a floor.
" G'mornin' 'Arry! Come eat some breakfast b'fore we 'ead out." Hagrid said cheerfully.
"Wha'r we 'oin' t'ay?" Harry said through a yawn.
"Wha' did ya say 'Arry?"
" What are we doin' today?"
"Ah. Well we gotta feed the creatures and such of course. And la'er tonight we got somethin' ter take care of in the Forbidden Forest fer Headmaster Dumbledore."
"What do we have to do for Dumbledore?" Harry asked.
"Somethin's bin killin' off the centaurs."
"The centaurs? What could kill the centaurs?"
"Tha's what we're gonna find out 'Arry."
"Oh." Harry gulped, " O…ok."
The centaurs were strong creatures. Whatever was killing them had to be strong.
"Ok Harry, You take Fang 'ere 'n go west 'til you get to the old stump near the castle. Meet me back here in an hour."
"Alright. See ya in an hour." Harry said as he walked in the opposite direction as Hagrid. "Well at least I can cut tonight." Harry thought as a few sharp branches scratched and cut at his arms. It was refreshing but it wasn't enough. It had been nearly 2 weeks since he had cut and since he had moved in with Hagrid. Living with Hagrid hadn't come out to be as good as Harry had thought. Hagrid had investigated every nic, every paper-cut Harry got. It was really pissing him off.
A sharp crash, quick movement, and a whimper from Fang brought Harry out of his thoughts. Looking all around for the source of the noise and movement, Harry saw a flash of something red off to his right. He shot a random spell at it to stop it from getting any farther.
"C'mon you bloody coward!" Harry said, pulling the whimpering dog cautiously toward the shadowed figure.
Harry was shocked when he came upon a beautiful…uhmm…whatever it was. It looked too harmless to a butterfly let alone 3 centaurs a week. He startled as it glared up at him with lavender eyes.
"What are you?" Harry asked in fascination.
" Nag gin Yakaginagoo. Yaw-kaw-gin-uh-goo"
"Yuck-ug-in …what?"
"Harry! Are you alright?"
Harry heard Hagrid call a little ways away.
"Over here Hagrid!" Harry called back.
Hagrid noticed the shadowed figure on the ground near Harry as he approached.
"Wha' ya got there 'Arry?"
"It's a Yuck-ug-in…uh it's that." Harry pointed at the redheaded thing.
Hagrid examined the thing. He hadn't seen anything so beautiful in his life. Even from it's flowing red hair and lavender eyes to its long, narrow body and silk white skin and black silky wings, Hagrid couldn't tell what it was. Hagrid looked it in the eyes.
"Wha' are you?" He asked.
It let out an audible sigh of frustration before repeating, " Nag gin Yakaginagoo."
" Yakaginagoo." Hagrid repeated after it, " Are there more than one of you here?"
"Dung." It answered. Harry snickered, apparently it understood but didn't speak English.
"Okay uhmm… give me a thumbs up if that was a yes or a thumbs down if that was a no." Harry said, showing it the signs.
When it gave a thumbs down Hagrid asked, "Wha's yer name?"
"Yukiko."
"We should take it…Yukiko…to professor Flitwick if we want to find out anything else." Harry said to Hagrid.
"Yer righ'. Let's go."
Mind numbing pain…Voldemort had been killed but Harry's scar still hurt on bad nights.
Slipping into consciousness, Harry put his glasses on; he didn't want to bother with contacts now. Taking his prized knife, Harry slipped out the back door. He sliced aimlessly at his arms. He was tired of just cutting, it wasn't enough to spill his crimson tears, he wanted to end it all…no more pain, no more feeling constantly alone.
Little did Harry know that Hagrid had woken up when Harry had closed the back door. He was about to go back to sleep when he noticed Harry's bed was empty. Quickly getting out of bed, he dashed out the back door just as Harry was about to cut open a main artery.
" 'Arry! No!" Hagrid yelled, stopping the boy from making the fatal cut. Harry startled, dropping the knife to the ground.
"Hagrid I…I…" But before Harry could finish, Hagrid had grabbed his umbrella/wand and stupefied him.
"Sorry 'Arry…" Hagrid whispered as he carried Harry toward the castle and the hospital wing.
Opening his eyes, Harry woke up to a world of bright colors. He didn't even need sight to know where he was. It was obvious from Madam Pomfrey's voice arguing with Dumbledore. He heard a door open and not 10 seconds later he could smell coffee. That meant it was 9:05am and 10 seconds to smell the coffee meant he was in the bed closest to her office.
"Probably to keep an eye on me." Harry thought bitterly.
Upon hearing his name, Harry strained to hear the conversation between said nurse and headmaster.
"Albus, Hagrid hasn't stopped drinking in days! He's blaming himself! I don't think it would be wise to send Harry back with Hagrid."
"You are quite right of course Poppy, but where will he stay? We are not to send him back to those Dursley's unless absolutely necessary." Dumbledore said 'Dursley's' with distaste, " And professor Flitwick doesn't have room for another book let alone a teenage boy and all of his belongings." He continued.
Madam Pomfrey sighed, "Well what can we do then Albus?" Madam Pomfrey asked in frustration.
Just then the infamous twinkle in Albus Dumbledore's eyes shone as bright as his mischievous smile.
"He will have to stay with Severus of course."
"Severus? Albus are you out of your mind?" Madam Pomfrey all but screamed.
"Only just Poppy but that's got nothing to do with this." Dumbledore said with a small chuckle, "Plus Poppy, not only is Severus the only person with enough room to take Harry in, but they need each other. Harry needs someone he can relate to and you of all people, Poppy, should know how very much in common they have."
As Madam Pomfrey thought about this she sighed in defeat, "I suppose your are quite right as usual Albus, but how do we break it to the boys?"
"I will take care of that Poppy. No worries." And with that Albus left toward his office, winking at a stunned looking Harry.
After much argument, Snape grudgingly agreed to take Harry in. It wasn't so much a problem of having Harry in his quarters as it was having a cutter. It had been almost six months since he had last cut…before Voldemort had been defeated. Having a cutter around all the time was going to prove to be challenging.
At the dismissing hand of Dumbledore, Snape headed for his quarters. At half past seven, right after dinner, Harry said the password - Errent la nuit – and entered his new 'home'. Upon seeing no sign of any human existence, which he had expected, Harry took off his bandages, leaving his gaping wounds open to the world's eyes, against his black wife-beater, his wounds stood out like a sore thumb.
Snapes quarters were much what he had expected but far from it at the same time. Decorating one of the crimson walls were the golden characters of the lost languages of ancient witches and wizards. In front of him was the living room; the walls were lined with shelves of books, the fireplace, made of black onyx, had a single obsidian stone on it –much the same color of Snapes eyes-. There was a big, soft black leather couch and a recliner of the same material.
Off to Harry's right was a small kitchen connected to a dining room that looked like it hadn't been used in ages. A hall behind the couch led to what could only be the bedrooms.
Just as Harry was about to go look for his room, none other than Severus Snape came from one of the doors in the hall. Harry snickered at Snapes gaping expression at his wounds.
" Potter! Cover those things up would you?"
Harry just snarled at him and took a seat on the couch.
" I've never seen him in muggle clothes before. It kind of fits him; he's got a nice body…Jeez Harry! Don't think like that it will only show weakness. But man would he be a great shag…"
"Gah!" Harry smacked his head.
"Potter what is the matter with you?" Snape asked. First Harry had snarled, then he had stared, then frowned, then grinned and now he was making strange noises and hitting himself.
"Nothing, I'm fine."
"He's right about that. He looks damn fine. Specially in that top. All that training did good for him." Snape thought with a disapproving frown. He needed to control his thoughts; it was starting to become ridiculous. "Follow me, Potter. I'll show you where to put your things." Snape growled.
"Yes, sir!" Harry said mockingly with sarcasm.
" And don't use that tone with me, Potter. I have complete rule over you and I can and will take advantage of it if need be." Snape said. "That came out wrong…"
"Wow…kinky…ok I've really got to stop thinking now." Harry thought.
At the end of the hall and to the right, Snape opened a door to what looked to be a broom closet.
"Oh great, it's the Dursley's all over again." Harry thought in horror.
"You can keep most of your belongings in here," Snape said upon the look on Harry's face, " You didn't think I'd make you sleep in there? Look, Potter, I may be strict sometimes but that's just inhumane, now follow me."
Harry followed him back to the living room and sat on the couch as Snape gestured a hand toward it and took a seat on the recliner.
" Alright Potter, there is only one bedroom in my quarters. So… if you do these things," Snape handed Harry a piece of paper," You can have the bed every other night. On the nights that I get the bed you will sleep on the couch and vice versa."
Harry looked at the paper. It had a list of chores, 'Take out trash – Thursday and Sunday. Clean kitchen – Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday every other week Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, the house elves take care of everything else.'
"Thank you, sir."
"Don't call me sir, I hate formalities."
" You told me to call you sir last year professor." Harry said matter-of-factly.
Snape sighed hopelessly. "That was in class, Potter. While we are here just called me Severus." He said slightly irritated.
" Alright Sev, don't get all upset about it."
Severus glared at the nickname. He hated nicknames but coming from Harry he didn't mind it much. "I'm losing my mind to that damned golden-boy."
Harry had purposely called him Sev just to get a reaction. What he got had completely confused him. What kind of person frowns and blushes at the same time? "Severus does." Harry thought with a grin then burst out laughing at Severus's expression.
" I don't get you Potter."
" First off Sev, please call me Harry, I hate formalities," Harry said mockingly, " And second, you don't get me? …Good."
Severus quickly pushed back his anger. Dumbledore had warned him and he wasn't in the mood for another fight with the old man.
Severus, noticing Harry's sad attempt at covering up a yawn said, " You can have the bed tonight Po…Harry."
Harry grinned at Severus's correction.
"Thanks Sev. G'night." Harry said, snickering as Severus once again, blushed at the nickname.
"Insufferable little brat." Severus mumbled.
Harry woke up to walls artfully painted to match a midnight sky. He'd learned that Severus had painted the walls himself without magic, which shocked Harry. He couldn't imagine Severus not using magic.
Getting up Harry noticed that the radio in the living room was on. Heading for the bathroom, Harry regretted it the second he opened the door to a stark naked, dripping wet, singing, Severus Snape. Severus continued to sing a few moments before he felt Harry's gaping eyes on him. In a panic, Severus grabbed for anything to cover himself and came up with… a hair dryer.
"Sev." Harry said barely over a whisper before swallowing to clear a suddenly dry mouth.
Harry couldn't help but smile at Severus's expression. He looked like he had no idea of what to do…he looked scared shitless. "Severus Snape, scared shitless. Now this is something to remember." Harry thought with a grin.
"Gods I can feel his eyes on me like the sun on my skin." Snape noticing Harry's smile couldn't help but look down. Harry's excitement didn't go unnoticed under his thin boxers. " Oh gods I shouldn't have done that. Why doesn't he wear more clothes to bed?" Severus thought. He had to change the situation and quick. Acting the way he was best at, Severus snapped, " What are you looking at Harry! Get out! OUT!"
Harry startled and ran out of the bathroom. Severus's face was as red as Ron's hair but Harry knew it wasn't from anger. He'd noticed Severus's wandering eyes.
With a broad grin, Harry got dressed and patiently waited for Severus to leave the bathroom, ignoring the half-hearted glare he received. "This is going to be an interesting day." Harry thought.
Over the next few days, Harry and Severus avoided each other as much as possible. When a time came that they couldn't avoid each other Severus would snap at Harry every chance he got.
Two weeks had passed and while they were almost back to normal, whatever that was, Severus still wouldn't look at Harry and he refused to talk about anything but everyday conversational subjects.
Harry had had about enough of it so after much thought and planning he approached Severus.
Severus recognized Harry's expression as the boy walked toward him. " He's planning something. This can't be good. It's never a good thing when a Potter has a plan." Snape thought.
"Severus, we need to talk." Harry said with determination.
"I don't think it is a needed thing Harry." Severus said sarcastically.
"Oh get over yourself Severus, you know we are going to have to talk about it soon."
"No." Severus said stubbornly.
Harry took a calming breath and sat next to Severus on the couch. "Severus, we need to talk." He repeated.
"God-damn-it Harry! No we bloody don't! Now bugger off and go…do something!" Severus snapped.
"Fine!" Harry yelled, " You know I really didn't mind it here, in fact it's been kind of nice but as usual nothing good ever lasts!" Harry said as he stomped into Severus's room, slamming the door behind him.
Harry paced the room five times wishing he had his knife before realizing he could easily get it. He quickly muttered the spell bringing it to him and was relieved to see it.
Holding the blade in his hand, Harry hadn't realized how much he'd missed the weight of the blade in his hand; with his blade, Harry had control. He could do whatever he wanted. He cut. Opening old scars and new.
Severus sighed as Harry slammed the door. There was a reason Harry had been sent to live with him. He was supposed to be helping the boy. " And Harry was right. We do need to talk about it…I wish he would stop pacing!" Severus thought as he heard the consistent pounding of feet hitting the bedroom floor.
He heard Harry mutter something and realized what it had to mean.
"Harry, no!" Severus yelled as he entered the bedroom.
"Go away Severus, I don't want you to see this now." Harry said, feeling really dizzy.
Severus caught Harry before he hit the floor. "Damn it, Harry! I can't take you to the hospital wing or you'll be sent back to your muggle family. Damn it, damn it, damn it!"
"Then just leave me here. Pretend you never saw it."
"No." Severus said, laying Harry on the bed, " I'm going to help you." He said, taking his shirt off, tearing it in pieces, and wrapping them around Harry's wounds.
"Sev?" Harry whispered weakly.
"What?" Severus asked, suddenly worried.
"How long have you been cutting? And why?"
Severus followed Harry's gaze to his scabbed, scarred arms. "Because…" Severus sighed, " We'll talk about everything when you're better, Harry. We have a lot of things to talk about." Severus said, leaving to his lab to get his healing potions.
Harry lay on the bed, waiting, remembering the feeling of Severus's strong arms holding him. "I bet it's my fault he's cutting. He's probably pissed that I'm bleeding on his bed. Maybe I should leave." Harry thought as he tried to get up, pain shooting through his body. "Bloody fucking hell!"
Severus heard Harry yell from his lab down the hall. He quickly levitated the potions to follow him into the bedroom. "Harry you have to stay still!" Severus said, gently pushing Harry back down onto the bed. He quickly started handing Harry healing and pain relieving potions and telling him which ones to take and when until he fell asleep. After putting real bandages over Harry's wounds to replace the blood soaked shirt pieces, Severus left the room quietly.
" Now all I have to worry about is our next talk when he wakes up."
END
Chapter 4: Severus and Harry have a talk. How will it go?
